Memories of Edward ran freely in my mind, spreading like a virus that would consume me.
His icey touch sending chills through me, his lips as they crushed mine, his addictive scent, that beautiful crooked smile, that infectious laugh....Each one hurt more than the last. Each time a new memory ran through me, I thought the pain could get no worse. Until the next memory.
I hadn't stopped crying in hysterics since the wolves had disappeared.
I don't know how long I lay on the ground. Just wallowing. I tried to talk myself out of it a few times. Why was I doing this to Charlie again? Hadn't he been through enough? He would be frantic, I hadn't told him where I'd gone, so he wouldn't even know where to start. But these thoughts only came into my mind every now and again. More then anything, the torture was in my mind. All the things that I had managed to supress in the past months broke free now. When I hadn't registered the radio in my closet that I had gotten for my birthday. When Jacob held my hand while I got stitches and why that was ironic. Edward and I's carefree banter. My lullaby. The warmth that I felt from the embraces, despite the icey hands holding me. His piercing eyes that I could never seem to look away from. A million things that I had kept out of my memory. So many things that I hadn't thought of in so many months...
It was dark by now. I was much more aware than the last time I had been missing, curl in a ball on the forest floor...and that thought sent a new wave of torture through me. But though I knew what was happening much more, I simply didn't care at that moment.
I eventually slipped into a painful unconciousness, though I wasn't exactly sure if I was sleeping or not at that moment, because the scenery was so simular. I eventually woke to the muted light of morning. At first nothing happened. I was trying very hard not to think. But Charlie must be out of his mind with worry, I thought. What was I doing? I needed to get up.
I pushed myself up with my hands onto my feet. I was very wabbley for sitting for so long, and it took me a moent to regain my balance enough to start walking. And worrying.
What on earth was I going to tell Charlie? I could tell him the truth...of course not all of it, but the important parts, anyway. I couldn't think of anything else.
"Where have you been?!" He'd probably start out with that.
"I'm sorry dad, I need to talk to you."
"Do you have any idea how worried I was?! Where have you been all night? You couldn't pick up a phone? I had a search party out looking for you. AGAIN!" That would sting. Low-blow.
"Calm down dad, I'm sorry...listen. It's the bear. Only it's not a bear...it's a wolf and it's HUGE and there are five of them..." That would catch him off-guard. He wouldn't be expecting that.
"What does a bear have to do with anything?"
"I saw them, in the woods...I was hiking, and they were chasing...something...and I..fainted." That was sad. I couldn't even lie convincingly in my own thoughts.
But that would work, right? Who wouldn't faint at the sight of those things? I'd have to look like hell. Then I remembered that I'd spent the entire night on the forest floor. I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem.
I was so carried away in my thoughts, hurrying to get home, that I forgot to look at the compass. Knowing my luck I was heading the complete oposite direction to where my truck was parked.