I'm just going to say it, I hate Saints Row: The Third. Now, there may be some people who know this game, unless you play Grand Theft Auto. Now, Saints Row used to be good. Saint Row 1 was a fun game, and then came Saint's Row 2 which was even better. But, then came this abomination, known only as Saint's Row: The Third. Why do I hate this crappy game. I'll give you ten reasons. (They will not go in order of how I hate them. They'll just be random)
10: Activities: In the Saints Row games, there are activities you can do to earn you respect and cash. In Saint's Row 2, we had lots of fun ones. There was dumping sewage all over peoples houses with a dump truck, fighting guys in fight clubs, and tossing people off buildings, on barbwire and even into wood chippers. But, in Saints Row: The Third, thats all gone. Instead, we have to escort some prostitute while she has sex with someone in the backseat of the car, or help your stupid teammates while driving in the most oddly controlled helicopter ever. The only good activity I found in this game was Mr. Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax. But, there are only six kinds and the rest have almost a billion... In which case, activities suck.
9: Three... Gangs?: In the past Saint's Row games, there was always three gangs you had to eliminate. However, each gang hated each other and always fought for territory. BUT, in this game, all the gangs you have to destroy work together. Why? Why are they helping each other? Gangs aren't supposed to help other gangs!!!
8: Where's the Crew: Now, this game gives you new teammates. Like a well mannered giant named Oleg, a computer freak named Kinzie, a toned voiced pimp named Zimos, a wise luchidor named Angel, a egotistic actor named Josh, and even Burt Fucking Reynolds (Okay, I'll admit, thats pretty cool) However..... Where Troy, Where's Legal Lee, Where's the Chicken Mascot Guy without a name really. These guys were in past games, but now, there not here. Jane Valdorama's in this game, but she can't help you with anything, so she doesn't count.
7: way too short: This game story is way too short. It literally took me two days to beat this game, and I don't even use my XBox that much. It took me longer to beat Saints Row's 1 and 2, so why is it shortened in this game?
6: Tedious Radio: This game has a couple of radio stations... Only problem. there is very few songs to listen to, and they all get old o hearing after a while (But, this is based on more of my opinion, because I really don't like any of that music)
5: Why is it Funny: ow, Saint's Row: The Third took a different step and it tried to be funny. Just one problem. SAINT'S ROW ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!! The past two games were super serious. They even had those slow-motion moments when something important happened. Here, you don't even have an emotional moment when Johnny Gat dies... Oh, and thats another problem. No, I'm not spoiling shit. Johnny dies literally in the middle of the SECOND MISSION IN THE FUCKING GAME!!! You actually see your character form bonds with certain characters in the game before any of them die. So, why here. In Saint's row 2, you watch as one of your friends who helped you form the gang back from its ashes gets dragged by a chain as a truck goes by. You then actually have to shoot him just to keep him from dying slowly. Its pretty sad. But here, Noooooooooo, they said, "Fuck all that seriousness, lets add a bunch of unfunny sex jokes... Speaking of which
4: Sex Jokes Everywhere: As if sex jokes weren't funny before, WOW, their even worse in Saint's Row: The Third. Literally, ever joke that they try with is a goddamn sex joke. You actually see gimps and S&M clubs everywhere, there a sex dolls you have to collect, and one of the weapons in the game is a BIG, PURPLE DILDO!!! WHAT THE FUCK THQ!!! WHY MAKE A DILDO A WEAPON!?
3: Making No Sense: Another thing that was thrown out of the game was any sense of reality. In Saint's Row: The Third, there are zombies, brutes, cloning, high tech weaponry that we can't even create in this generation, fists that make people explode, laser guns, and game shows that actually let people die on live television. Just... WHY!!!
2: Sexist as hell: I think I speak for all women when I say this game is sexist. This game just says that all women have to be gorgeous eye-candy for men, complete idiots that are fun Nazis, or just plan prostitutes. Why? Women are not even close to any of those. See, it just shows that this game must have been made by a bunch of 10-year-old Call of Duty players that think women shouldn't play games. And thats just stupid
1: Worst. Villain. In Games: Now, the main villain (Or at least, who I think is the main villain) is the leader of one of the games, who is named Killbane. This guy is said to be a human tank who can take down anyone, and has been able to keep his title as Murder Brawl Champion for 30 years. However, Each and every fight with him SUCKS!!! Literally, all of his fights are just pressing a button to win. Oh, and then when you have to actually kill him, you blow up his plane that he is in with 4 rockets. FOUR FUCKING ROCKETS!!! And, yet, he survives. But, the worst part, you think your in for a super awesome battle, but, no, you only get twenty seconds of button mashing, and before you know it, you kill him and win.......... WHAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!! This guy who can survive FOUR FUCKING ROCKETS can't take a couple of punches to the face!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME GAME!!! FUCK THIS PIECE OF SHIT GAME!!!
And, so there, my opinion on why I fucking hate Saint's Row: The Third. Oh, and heres a bonus review of Saint's Row 4.
1: Bad Sex Jokes, no Reality, and now, Aliens and Politics: ............. Its stupid.... Enough said
But, hay, that's only my opinion. What's Your Take
10: Activities: In the Saints Row games, there are activities you can do to earn you respect and cash. In Saint's Row 2, we had lots of fun ones. There was dumping sewage all over peoples houses with a dump truck, fighting guys in fight clubs, and tossing people off buildings, on barbwire and even into wood chippers. But, in Saints Row: The Third, thats all gone. Instead, we have to escort some prostitute while she has sex with someone in the backseat of the car, or help your stupid teammates while driving in the most oddly controlled helicopter ever. The only good activity I found in this game was Mr. Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax. But, there are only six kinds and the rest have almost a billion... In which case, activities suck.
9: Three... Gangs?: In the past Saint's Row games, there was always three gangs you had to eliminate. However, each gang hated each other and always fought for territory. BUT, in this game, all the gangs you have to destroy work together. Why? Why are they helping each other? Gangs aren't supposed to help other gangs!!!
8: Where's the Crew: Now, this game gives you new teammates. Like a well mannered giant named Oleg, a computer freak named Kinzie, a toned voiced pimp named Zimos, a wise luchidor named Angel, a egotistic actor named Josh, and even Burt Fucking Reynolds (Okay, I'll admit, thats pretty cool) However..... Where Troy, Where's Legal Lee, Where's the Chicken Mascot Guy without a name really. These guys were in past games, but now, there not here. Jane Valdorama's in this game, but she can't help you with anything, so she doesn't count.
7: way too short: This game story is way too short. It literally took me two days to beat this game, and I don't even use my XBox that much. It took me longer to beat Saints Row's 1 and 2, so why is it shortened in this game?
6: Tedious Radio: This game has a couple of radio stations... Only problem. there is very few songs to listen to, and they all get old o hearing after a while (But, this is based on more of my opinion, because I really don't like any of that music)
5: Why is it Funny: ow, Saint's Row: The Third took a different step and it tried to be funny. Just one problem. SAINT'S ROW ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!!! The past two games were super serious. They even had those slow-motion moments when something important happened. Here, you don't even have an emotional moment when Johnny Gat dies... Oh, and thats another problem. No, I'm not spoiling shit. Johnny dies literally in the middle of the SECOND MISSION IN THE FUCKING GAME!!! You actually see your character form bonds with certain characters in the game before any of them die. So, why here. In Saint's row 2, you watch as one of your friends who helped you form the gang back from its ashes gets dragged by a chain as a truck goes by. You then actually have to shoot him just to keep him from dying slowly. Its pretty sad. But here, Noooooooooo, they said, "Fuck all that seriousness, lets add a bunch of unfunny sex jokes... Speaking of which
4: Sex Jokes Everywhere: As if sex jokes weren't funny before, WOW, their even worse in Saint's Row: The Third. Literally, ever joke that they try with is a goddamn sex joke. You actually see gimps and S&M clubs everywhere, there a sex dolls you have to collect, and one of the weapons in the game is a BIG, PURPLE DILDO!!! WHAT THE FUCK THQ!!! WHY MAKE A DILDO A WEAPON!?
3: Making No Sense: Another thing that was thrown out of the game was any sense of reality. In Saint's Row: The Third, there are zombies, brutes, cloning, high tech weaponry that we can't even create in this generation, fists that make people explode, laser guns, and game shows that actually let people die on live television. Just... WHY!!!
2: Sexist as hell: I think I speak for all women when I say this game is sexist. This game just says that all women have to be gorgeous eye-candy for men, complete idiots that are fun Nazis, or just plan prostitutes. Why? Women are not even close to any of those. See, it just shows that this game must have been made by a bunch of 10-year-old Call of Duty players that think women shouldn't play games. And thats just stupid
1: Worst. Villain. In Games: Now, the main villain (Or at least, who I think is the main villain) is the leader of one of the games, who is named Killbane. This guy is said to be a human tank who can take down anyone, and has been able to keep his title as Murder Brawl Champion for 30 years. However, Each and every fight with him SUCKS!!! Literally, all of his fights are just pressing a button to win. Oh, and then when you have to actually kill him, you blow up his plane that he is in with 4 rockets. FOUR FUCKING ROCKETS!!! And, yet, he survives. But, the worst part, you think your in for a super awesome battle, but, no, you only get twenty seconds of button mashing, and before you know it, you kill him and win.......... WHAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!! This guy who can survive FOUR FUCKING ROCKETS can't take a couple of punches to the face!? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME GAME!!! FUCK THIS PIECE OF SHIT GAME!!!
And, so there, my opinion on why I fucking hate Saint's Row: The Third. Oh, and heres a bonus review of Saint's Row 4.
1: Bad Sex Jokes, no Reality, and now, Aliens and Politics: ............. Its stupid.... Enough said
But, hay, that's only my opinion. What's Your Take