What's Your Take - Article 71 - Cloud Mows the Lawn???

posted by Windwakerguy430

Now here is a fanfiction that is able to fuck it up, when they thought we could actually catch a fucking break. The fanfic is known as Cloud Mows the Lawn.
This is a fanfiction based off Final Fantasy 7. And if you know me, you'd know that Final Fantasy 7 is one of my favorite games of all time, so how could they fuck this fanfic up. Oh, trust me, you'll find out in just a minute. So, it starts with Cloud mowing the lawn and Tifa watching. Apparently, they married after the events of FF7, which is odd, because I thought Aries was Clouds loves interest.
So, Tifa keeps talking about Cloud looking handsome, like some shipfic. After which, her stomach begins to rumble, and (WARNING! THE REMAINDER OF THE FANFIC IS FUCKING GROSS! LEAVED THE ARTICLE IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH!)
So, Tifa, apparently, has to go to the bathroom, but because she doesn't even try to go to the bathroom, she just goes on the floor. Yeah, she just craps on the floor like a fucking dog. Yeah, I don't think that fanfics are going to stop making me sick to my stomach. Oh, and while the writers at it, why doesn't he shoehorn a sex scene in there, and make is disgusting as fuck. Yeah, Tifa still has to go to the bathroom, but Cloud walks is and they just have anal sex. I'd also like to point out that Cloud just ignores the crap on the floor. And, while having sex, Clouds penis gets covered in shit, just to make the readers more grossed out, and it fucking worked.
And yeah, that's the whole goddamn story, and, surprise, it fucking sucks. But, hey, that's only my opinion. What's Your Take

Edvine2 For the record, Aerith was Cloud's LI, but when Sephiroth shoved his Sword Of Major Penal Compensation(Seriously, that sword is fucking LONG!) down Aerith's chest, she died on the spot. And so began the melodramatic cavalcade... and shit fics like this.

What's Your Take - Article 74 - Lara Croft on Crappable Island

posted by Windwakerguy430

Dear God. It seems that, no matter what fanfic I read, in some way or another I find disgusting, immature sex or rape or, fuck, both. And, it's no different in Lara Croft on Cannibal Island.
We instantly start with Lara in a cage in the middle of a tribe of cannibals... Okay, before we continue, I'd like to point out that the fanfic is called Lara Croft on Cannibal Island, but not Lara Croft Escapes from Cannibal Island.... You see where this is going, don't you. So, once she is presented to the tribe leader, she gets forced to drink.... I don't even know. Once she does, though, she then gets...

Todd McFarlane Splits His Time at Thrillville and Airblades into the Urbz (PS2 Cents Mini)

posted by Windwakerguy430

Okay, so what the hell is this all about? Well, this is PS2 Cents, but where I talk about games in a shorter quantity. Basically, shorter, more condensed reviews but you get five games reviewed. This is basically for games I had very little to talk about, did not finish due to reasons, or didn’t want to finish because the game was hot garbage. I dunno. This helps get reviews out faster and allows me to focus on the bigger reviews. We’ll start in alphabetical order and work our way from there. Starting with…

Airblade

Okay, so let me start out by saying this. This game is already infinitely...

Playing Death (New Original Story Premise/Prologue)

posted by Windwakerguy430

Welcome to Love & Death Corporated, where our motto is “You Only Live Once”. What is Love & Death Co. You ask? Well, our job is to simple. Are you familiar with death? Yes, it is a scary concept, no doubt about that, but death is not always the end of things. When you die, darkness doesn’t await you. Depending on your soul in life, you could be deemed a good noodle and go into paradise, but if you are a bad egg, you will be thrown into the underworld. But, sometimes, just sometimes, there are runaway souls. When a person refuses to die, despite their time coming to an end, they...

Next A-Class: Little Substance, Maximum Style (An Anime Review)

posted by deathding

Have you ever heard of the legendary Ramen Noodle truck? The only way to get a taste is to catch up with it. Enter Next A-Class, a surprisingly flashy and fun little time considering it is literally a six-minute Japanese car advertisement made in 2012. Despite how short it is, however, the adrenaline rush you'll get watching this anime short is nothing short of thrilling.

By and large the best part of this short is the animation. You'd think it wouldn't have much effort put into it, but by lord Frith himself, is this a damn good looking Original Net Animation. The amount of detail and effort...

NikPiks: Ready Player One is Bad and Steven Spielberg Should Feel Bad

posted by Windwakerguy430

I am aware I am super late when it comes to talking about this movie, but I felt like that, now that I have analysed it, anal-ized it, and pretty much picked out everything about this film, I feel like now is the perfect time to discuss this film and see what it’s worth is. So with that being said, let’s talk about Spielberg

In the recent years, Steven Spielberg has been seen as an old coot who can’t make it with the times, hides all his bad writing behind a ton of CGI, and just some guy who should probably retire with all of his money and join the ranks of washed up directors like...

Corner of Horror - Episode 119 - Cultober Day 14: Jacob's Ladder

posted by Windwakerguy430

You know, at this point, I don’t know why I bothered randomizing the movies for this whole event. But hey, at least I’m actually reviewing something rather than letting it all fall behind. So with that said, today we are talking about a rather unique film. One that is so strange, so niche, and yet, is probably one of the greatest horror films I’ve seen recently. It’s so good, it was actually an inspiration for the Silent Hill franchise, one of my favorites. So let’s gush- I mean review the 1990 classic, Jacob’s Ladder

The film follows Jacob Singer, a postal worker in 1975 and...

...maximumer..

added by -Universe_COLA-

Nik's Pokemon Y Nuzlocke Challenge: Day 3

posted by Windwakerguy430

On the 3rd Day, Nik was able to finally level up Mercury from the ugly Quilladin to the epic Chesnaught. After hours of grinding, many trips to the Pokemon Center, and a town's worth of dead Pokemon in their wake, Mercury had finally reached his final stage of evolution and became the walking tank, Chesnaught

After the Great Grind of Route 11, Bone Thug was able to evolve into a Marrowake. Nik planned to evolve more Pokemon, but he eventually got bored and moved on, thinking he grinded enough.

Reflection Cave showed no Pokemon, sadly. The cave was not without some joy, however, as both Kurt Cobain...

Hidden Gems: Primal

posted by Windwakerguy430

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Hidden Gems, where we look at some of the most obscure games to see if they deserve more attention or if they should be forgotten about. Today, we will be looking at an very obscure game. Now, this game was so obscure, that it’s Wikipedia page is incredibly lacking. Like, wow, Beyond Good and Evil and Jet Set Radio Future were obscure, but at least they had useful Wikipedia pages (And yes, I know this shows how little my credibility is, but you gotta remember that you’re talking to a person who reviews obscure games. You just gotta take what information...

1

Windwakerguy430's Top Ten OTHER Hated Video Game Clichés

posted by Windwakerguy430

Oh man, clichés. Usually, these exist in many forms of media, such as books, movies, anime, and in this special case, video games. And there are quite a lot of them….. And sometimes, that is not a good thing. Whenever a cliché is used constantly, it begins to get old… FAST! And I believe that video games have used bad clichés to death. I already talked about some terribly annoying ones in my past list, but this time, I got some new ones I want to talk about. Now, before I begin, here are some rules. These are clichés that only bother me. They may not be bad to you, but to me, I just...

1

My Little Pornstar Episode 11

posted by Seanthehedgehog

This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..

Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - Rainbow Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's Heroes - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland Show - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack

Now, let's begin. Twilight Sparkle woke up in excitement, looking at her calender.

Twilight: Alright man, this is it. I am going to work on the 50th Winter Wrap Up of Pornstarville.
Spike: Oh, who gives a fuck? Why does everyone have to take control of the weather?
Twilight: I don't know man! I just wanna help out, and...

Windwakerguy430's Top 5 Unrealistic Things In Grand Theft Auto

posted by Windwakerguy430

GTA is the closest we have ever gotten to a game based on reality… Or is it. As it turns out, there is a lot of moments in GTA that makes some of us notice how none of that can happen in real life. So, without any further delay, here is the five things in the Grand Theft Auto franchise that actually isn’t that real

#5: Everyone Can Fly Planes or Helicopters - Now, this is lower because some of these the characters are justified when it comes to flying planes or helicopters. Niko from GTA IV was in a war, and I am sure he flew a helicopter at one point or another, and Trevor from GTA V was...

1

My Little Pornstar Episode 3

posted by Seanthehedgehog

This is a parody of My Little Pony. The voice actors for the mane 6 are..

Ice Cube - Twilight Sparkle
Kath Soucie - Rainbow Dash
Sargent Schultz from Hogan's Heroes - Pinkie Pie
Wally from The Cleveland Show - Fluttershy
Tabitha St. Germain - Rarity
Ashleigh Ball - Applejack

Now, let's begin. Applejack was at Sweet Apple Acres with Big Macintosh. Instead of being brother, and sister, they are married, and Applebloom is their daughter.

Applejack: *Looking at all of the trees in her orchard* Man, that's a lot of trees out there.
Big Macintosh: *Uninterested* Eeyup.
Applejack: I'll have my work...

Don't Eat Cupcakes On Sunday With Jeff The Killer

posted by Seanthehedgehog

Hi, I'm Scootaloo, and I'm the narrator. Now that we got the terrible intro out of the way, it's time to start our fanfic which is a parody of Don't Swim On Sundays, Cupcakes, and Jeff The Killer.

I live with Rainbow Dash, and we were going to move into a very nice house by a cupcake factory. This story takes place in February, 2014.

Rainbow Dash: *Putting bags into the trunk of her car*
Scootaloo: Do we have enough room for my scooter?
Rainbow Dash: I think so. We basically have everything we need.
Scootaloo: *Puts her scooter in the trunk*
Rainbow Dash: *Closes trunk* What you really want...

1

Dead Rising 2 Abridged - Episode 4

posted by Windwakerguy430

Chuck: So, we've been waiting for like...three hours
Stacey: It's been five minutes Chuck
Chuck: Well, I just want to know when something happens Explosion) Something happened. Gotta go check it out
Stacey: Wait, you don't even know where it is happ- (Chuck leaves)
Chuck: (Sees soldiers robbing casino vaults) Hey, you can't just do that
Soldiers: (Aim guns at Chuck)
Chuck: ..................... Uh............ Please don't shoot.......
(Later, after the fight)
Chuck: (Panting) Man, I hope that is the only time I have to do that (Phone rings) Hello
Stacey: Chuck, it looks like that three other casinos...

Corner of Horror - 144: SWERY Month "Week" 3: The Missing: J.J. MacField and the Island of Memories

posted by Windwakerguy430

(And now images don’t work. This mixed with the inconsistent schedule, it’s like everything abut SWERY Month is fucking cursed. But it wouldn’t be truly SWERY related if there wasn’t a few technical hiccups here and there)

Oh man, it’s the game I was the most excited to talk about on here. I’m gonna level with you, everyone. When I played through Deadly Premonition, I didn’t get the appeal at first. I just thought it was a weird game with some charming dialogue and a decent setting. I was not super impressed with it like everyone else was. Sure, I grew on it eventually, obviously...

Corner of Horror - 143: SWERY Month "Week" 2: Deadly Premonition

posted by Windwakerguy430

Well, after some minor errors in the process, the SWERY Month marathon is back on track. Hopefully. The next review will be tomorrow and will hopefully be just as passionate as this one. We did not have a great start to this month, let’s just say, and I really apologize for that. A rather drab game that SWERY had little creative control over, that was a game I had no desire in playing, and was immediately followed by lots of personal stuff in life taking over. But thankfully, we can move on with the schedule and get on to better things from SWERY. Better things, such as the game that truly...

Merry Freakin' Christmas - Day 5: Jenga World Tour

posted by Windwakerguy430

Ah yes, Jenga, the fun childhood pastime of playing with a set of wooden blocks, because someone was just that bored. I never played much of the board game when it was at its peak of popularity. I was more of a CandyLand kid. Aw yeah, coming up on the Candy Cane Forest, motherfucker! But, I do understand the basic concept of the game, stacking bricks to make a tower and pulling them out and making sure it doesn’t topple over. What I don’t understand is making a full game for the Wii and selling it at full retail price. Who made this game and why would they make it. Oh wait, it’s an Atari...

2

The Top 100 - #48: L.A. Noire (Featuring Canada24)

posted by Windwakerguy430

In case it wasn't clear since my Grand Theft Auto reviews, I am much more interesting in when Rockstar does something other than GTA games. I find that stuff to be way more fun. And the first of many (Okay, three) to appear on this list is the murder mystery classic, L.A. Noire-

*Blowing Whistle* Stop right there! I’m taking over this review!

Several years ago I found this Rockstar game.. LA NOIRE. Now, when I first got this game, I was fresh of GTA 4 and Red Dead Redemption.. I was introduced to GTA by the 4th, never played the others. But obviously we aren't here to talk about...

The Top 100 - #81: Madworld

posted by Windwakerguy430

Oh boy, this is a classic gem I’ve been waiting to discuss… again… for the fourth time in a row now. It’s no secret that I love Platinum. Anarchy Reigns was the first Platinum game on this list, and the rest of them are only gonna get better from here. And let’s talk about their first game, and while not a financial success, still a classic on the Wii, Madworld.
Madworld follows angry biker Jack Cayman, as he and his trustworthy chainsaw arm, go through the crazed gameshow known as Death Watch in order to take out the competition and become the champion of Death Watch. The game...