Link: So, Tetra, what do we do now
Tetra: Simple (Grabs hold of him) We head to my private quarters, which is my room really, and do it like bunnies
Link: Oh, gladly
(Meanwhile)
Tetra: (Kicks Link, who is sleeping) Wake up, dumbass
Link: (Wakes up) Huh, what's going on
Tetra: Were you dreaming again
Link: Unfortunately
Tetra: Well, stop dreaming. Idiots like you don't have dreams
Link: (Sarcastic)Wow, thanks
Tetra: You're welcome. Now, get up, we're at Dragon Roost Island
Link: Wait. DRAGON ROOST ISLAND
Tetra: Yeah. Is that a problem
Link: Yes, it is. We can't go on that place
Tetra: Well, we're not leaving until we have solved everything there is to solve.
Link: No, I'm serious. I can't go on that island
Tetra: And I'm serious. Get on that island BEFORE I FUCKING CUT YOU!
Link: Okay. Goddamn it
(Later, At Dragon Roost Village)
Postman: Excuse me, boy, can I ask you something
Link: Sure, if it gets me out of here sooner
Postman: You see, I really want to give my girlfriend a present, so, I thought about giving her twenty golden feathers from twenty deadly birds
Link: And, your telling me this, why?
Postman: Because I'm a pussy and I would rather have a ten year old boy do it for me then do it myself
Link: Wow, you suck
Postman: I know. But, I'll pay you if you do this
Link: You had me at pay
(Later, at the peak of Dragon Roost Island)
Link: Okay, where are the birds
Bird: Hello, boy, welcome to our home. Make yourself at-
Link: (Kills bird) Okay, time to get the rest
(One Massive Bird Genocide Later)
Link: Okay, I have twenty feathers finally. This should do it
(Later, in the village)
Postman: Oh, thank you so much. Here is the money as promised
Link: FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! HOLY SHIT, WHERE DID YOU GET THIS MUCH MONEY!!!
Postman: Well-
Link: Actually, I'm far too happy to give a fuck. Thanks for this huge amount of cash. Now I won't have to kill you in your sleep tonight.
Postman: .......... Oh.......... That's good to hear.
Link: Yes, it is. Well, take care
(Later, on beach)
Link: Oh, god, I am so happy. I can't believe the huge amount of money I got
???: Link, is that you
Link: (Huh, who's that)
Medley: Oh, Link, it is you... or maybe I'm just having illusions from my depression and possible insanity again.
Link: Nope, I'm as real as aliens
Medley: Oh, I'm so glad. Link, I couldn't stop thinking about you, and every time I did, I just got so aroused that-
Link: You're gonna have to hold those thoughts, Medley, because, frankly, I don't really give a fuck. I am way to happy to give two shits. I have just, in one day, become the Bill Gates of this world with five hundred dollars
Medley: Five hundred only?
Link: In this world. that's pretty much a billion, trillion, anything bigger than those-ion dollars.
Medley: Oh, right.
Link: Well, see you soon.... Though, I hope not
Medley: Oh, you will, Link...... Trust me, you will
TO BE CONTINUED
Tetra: Simple (Grabs hold of him) We head to my private quarters, which is my room really, and do it like bunnies
Link: Oh, gladly
(Meanwhile)
Tetra: (Kicks Link, who is sleeping) Wake up, dumbass
Link: (Wakes up) Huh, what's going on
Tetra: Were you dreaming again
Link: Unfortunately
Tetra: Well, stop dreaming. Idiots like you don't have dreams
Link: (Sarcastic)Wow, thanks
Tetra: You're welcome. Now, get up, we're at Dragon Roost Island
Link: Wait. DRAGON ROOST ISLAND
Tetra: Yeah. Is that a problem
Link: Yes, it is. We can't go on that place
Tetra: Well, we're not leaving until we have solved everything there is to solve.
Link: No, I'm serious. I can't go on that island
Tetra: And I'm serious. Get on that island BEFORE I FUCKING CUT YOU!
Link: Okay. Goddamn it
(Later, At Dragon Roost Village)
Postman: Excuse me, boy, can I ask you something
Link: Sure, if it gets me out of here sooner
Postman: You see, I really want to give my girlfriend a present, so, I thought about giving her twenty golden feathers from twenty deadly birds
Link: And, your telling me this, why?
Postman: Because I'm a pussy and I would rather have a ten year old boy do it for me then do it myself
Link: Wow, you suck
Postman: I know. But, I'll pay you if you do this
Link: You had me at pay
(Later, at the peak of Dragon Roost Island)
Link: Okay, where are the birds
Bird: Hello, boy, welcome to our home. Make yourself at-
Link: (Kills bird) Okay, time to get the rest
(One Massive Bird Genocide Later)
Link: Okay, I have twenty feathers finally. This should do it
(Later, in the village)
Postman: Oh, thank you so much. Here is the money as promised
Link: FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! HOLY SHIT, WHERE DID YOU GET THIS MUCH MONEY!!!
Postman: Well-
Link: Actually, I'm far too happy to give a fuck. Thanks for this huge amount of cash. Now I won't have to kill you in your sleep tonight.
Postman: .......... Oh.......... That's good to hear.
Link: Yes, it is. Well, take care
(Later, on beach)
Link: Oh, god, I am so happy. I can't believe the huge amount of money I got
???: Link, is that you
Link: (Huh, who's that)
Medley: Oh, Link, it is you... or maybe I'm just having illusions from my depression and possible insanity again.
Link: Nope, I'm as real as aliens
Medley: Oh, I'm so glad. Link, I couldn't stop thinking about you, and every time I did, I just got so aroused that-
Link: You're gonna have to hold those thoughts, Medley, because, frankly, I don't really give a fuck. I am way to happy to give two shits. I have just, in one day, become the Bill Gates of this world with five hundred dollars
Medley: Five hundred only?
Link: In this world. that's pretty much a billion, trillion, anything bigger than those-ion dollars.
Medley: Oh, right.
Link: Well, see you soon.... Though, I hope not
Medley: Oh, you will, Link...... Trust me, you will
TO BE CONTINUED
Unpa Lunpa doom-pa-de-do
I’ve got a perfect order for you
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dee
If you wish to live, you’ll listen to me
What can we do when our labor camps full
Unable to get children to produce our wool
Insurance Fraud is our get-rich-quick scheme
Scaring the people so I may haunt their dreams
The nuclear threats also make me glee
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dong
If you follow my laws, you will live long
You will be in daddy’s graces too
Like I, Unpa Lunpa, doom-pa-dee-do
I’ve got a perfect order for you
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dee
If you wish to live, you’ll listen to me
What can we do when our labor camps full
Unable to get children to produce our wool
Insurance Fraud is our get-rich-quick scheme
Scaring the people so I may haunt their dreams
The nuclear threats also make me glee
Unpa Lunpa Doom-pa-de-dong
If you follow my laws, you will live long
You will be in daddy’s graces too
Like I, Unpa Lunpa, doom-pa-dee-do