Now, video game have a LOT of weapons in them. Some of them are overpowered, some of them are funny, and some are really cool… And then there are THOSE weapons. You know, the ones that make you want to avoid them as much as possible. Yeah, THOSE weapons. Now, before I start this, some rules. One, these are only weapons from games that I have played, and only one per franchise. Also, these are not based off design. They are based off the weapons damage and how effective it is. Also, no powerups. So, nothing from Super Mario Bros, Kirby, Sonic, or any platformer. Oh, and the Klobb from Goldeneye 007 will not be here, because that would easily make number one. Now, with that said, lets start the list already.



#10: Marbles from Dead Rising 2 - Now, Dead Rising 2 has a LOT of joke weapons. Joke weapons are only made to be funny, not meant to kill zombies. However, if you use the joke weapons in Combo Weapons… well… their not much joke weapons anymore. However, the Marbles are unable to be turned into a weapon. All the marbles can do is be thrown on the ground, and let zombies fall on them. The only problem is that there are zombies EVERYWHERE, so that kind of makes it pointless. This weapons is also not effective on psychopaths, so what’s the point. This is lower, however, because, like I said, this is just a joke weapon. But seriously, this weapons only use is to give it as a gift to Katey… that sucks



#9: Flamethrower from Dead Space - Now, in Dead Space, you are always needing to save as much ammo as possible, since, once you find ammo, you will be so glad. Which is why the Flamethrower is a big problem. Like I said, you need to save ammo, but the Flamethrower does the EXACT OPPOSITE! The Flamethrower has a very short ammo capacity, and it is real easy to run out when using it the first time. Not to mention that it has a very short range, so you’ll need to get close to the enemies to just use it. Only problem is that the Flamethrower doesn’t kill your enemies right away, so you’ll most likely get hit at least once when using this thing, unless you’re smart and never use the Flamethrower ever, in which case, good for you.



#8: Plasma Pistol from Halo - The Covenant weapons are always real fun to use. You have the insanely overpowered Energy Sword which kills everything in one hit, the Needler that follows enemies and later explodes, the Plasma Pistol which…… Well, it sucks. Seriously, if the Covenant could have such awesome weapons like the previously mentioned ones, then why does the Plasma Pistol need to suck so bad. The Plasma Pistol has such a crappy use for it. Every bullet seems to be as painful as a grain of sand, and if that wasn’t bad enough, the only way to make is powerful is to charge it, but that waste’s too much energy. And it is no wonder why the Grunt’s are the lowest in the Covenant ranking. They have these shitty pistols



#7: Brass Knuckles from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City - You want to know why the Brass Knuckles were taken out of later games. It’s simple. They don’t do jackshit. I’m not kidding, all the Brass Knuckles are good for is an accessory on your hand, not a weapon. And let’s not forget the fact that all of the games enemies are a bunch of gangsters who could kill you in seconds because they have, well, GUNS! Seriously, guns or brass knuckles. Which do you think will win? And, lets not forget the fact that the Brass Knuckles take SO LONG to make your character throw a punch. So yeah, for those of you who wanted to know why the Brass Knuckles were removed, here is a reason why



#6: Giant’s Sword from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time - Now, the Legend of Zelda series is full of amazing swords… So, it’s safe to say that there also needs to be a fucking worthless one. That’s where the Giant’s Sword comes in. This sword is just a cheap version of the Biggoron Sword. It is huge, it does double damage, and you have to hold it with both hands. So, how is it bad if it’s like the Biggoron Sword. Well, unlike the Biggoron Sword, the Giant’s Sword breaks after a while. And the only way to fix it is to take it to Goron village and repair it for 200 rupees, just so it can break again and you can repair it again. Just get the Biggoron Sword. At least it doesn’t fucking brake like the Giant’s Sword



#5: Stun Grenades from Saint’s Row: The Third - Fuck this game, and fuck this weapon. I can not believe that Violation took out the liquor and drugs D-pad option and replaced it with grenades, one of them being a waste of inventory space, and that is the Stun Grenade. All this fucking thing does is stun your enemies- And that’s it… Sure, it may seem a little useful, but the thing is, this thing takes FOREVER to blow up, and since the games AI lets them run when a grenades, you will hit NO ONE! I have never hit a single person with these grenades, so why are they here. Again, fuck this game and FUCK this weapon



#4: Mr. Resetti from Super Smash Bros Brawl - Remember Mr. Resetti from Animal Crossing. Remember how much of a fucking jerk he was? Well, guess what… he’s worse in Smash Bros. Instead of being an annoying character, he’s a totally useless weapon. All Mr. Resetti can do is pop up out of the ground, and shout… and that’s it. The speech bubbles do NOTHING! Actually, they do something. They block your vision. Sure, it may be of some use (A very tiny bit of use. Like, as tiny as the bacteria on your keyboard) in online matches, but when fighting a computer, IT’S FUCKING WORTHLESS! WHY HAVE IT?



#3: Torch from Ghost and Goblins - What kind of sadistic assholes put one of the most worthless weapons ever in one of the hardest games ever? Yeah, we all know Ghosts and Goblins is insanely hard… But try playing it with just the fucking Torch. The Torch is just so pointless. Everytime you throw it, it goes in an arch, so if your enemy is right in front of you, the Torch will just go OVER the enemy. And if that wasn’t bad enough, you can only throw two at a time. Once you do, you gotta wait for the fire to die out before throwing them again. Just get the knife, it’s the only way to save yourself. Also, WHY WOULD THEY BRING THIS BACK IN SUPER GHOSTS AND GOBLINS?!



#2: Stick from Fable - Fuck this weapons. Fuck to Hell. When you first start your training, you are given this weapon to practice on. But, before you know it, you will be given actual swords. Which, trust me, THESE are what you will use. Not a fucking Stick. The Stick is as useless as you think it is. It’s just a fucking stick. It has VERY low damage. It does kill enemies, but by the time you’ve finally killed them, you could have watched the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy by that time. Also, you are unable to trade or sell this weapon, so you are just stuck with it until the day you die, or this weapon makes you chuck the game out the fucking window. But, I can’t blame the merchants. WHO WOULD BUY A FUCKING STICK!



#1: Shotgun from Walking Dead: Survival Instincts - You know, I would be surprised that Activision managed to fuck up a weapon like a shotgun, but, they also managed to make The Walking Dead suck, so, by that point, anything is possible. The Shotgun is just terrible. I mean, my god, how did they think this weapon was perfectly okay? Every time you find the Shotgun in this game, it has the same large capacity of THREE BULLETS! Yes, every time you find a Shotgun, it only has three bullets. Nothing else. Also, if that wasn’t bad enough, it could entirely miss the zombies, even though you PERFECTLY aimed, and shot it right into the zombies skull. HOW DO YOU MISS WITH A FUCKING SHOTGUN!? Oh, and the worst part is that every time you fire the gun, the zombies come. Sure, this may seem like its trying to be truthful to the series, but they should have made the game fucking better if you wanted me to believe that. If a weapon actually attracts MORE enemies then there originally was, then the weapon’s only use is to be a fucking weapon. Fuck this game, fuck this weapon, and fuck Activision for making this game. MAKE MORE GUITAR HERO, FOR FUCKS SAKE!

So, there you have it. Do you agree with this list? Tell me what you think below. With that, I will see you all next time