Now, I love horror movies. Their easily my favorite genre of film. Sadly, it is also the genre of film that has some awful movies. Then there are the movies that aren’t even close to being scary. In other words, these are the worst horror movies I have ever seen. Now, some rules. First off, only movies that I have seen, so no Blair Witch Project 2, Manos: The Hands of Fate, or Monster a Go-Go. Also, only one movie per franchise, so, with that said, lets start the list

#10: Nightmare on Elm Street - Now, before you all say that this movie was scary, yes, I agree. Nightmare on Elm Street was scary… the 1984 version anyway. The 2010 version was just- ugh- a fucking mess. First off, all of the characters were a bunch of stereotypical teenage morons, and, you know your movie is bad when you're rooting for the bad guy and actually WANT him to kill everyone. Sadly, I just wanted everyone to die, because even Freddy was ruined by this movie. Freddy always looked scary in the original, but in this one, he looks like fucking Voldemort. Also, his personality went from being a sadistic madman who has fun with his job, to just being a boring-as-paste serial killer. Well, at least he was the only movie serial killer to have one bad mo- Oh right

#9: Jason X - Yep, even Jason was fucked over by the greedy bastards known as Hollywood. I don’t know how much cocaine they had up their nose when they made this idea, but, I don’t think that anyone alive said, “You know, Jason Voorhees was okay… but you know what would make him better? PUTTING HIM IN SPACE!” Seriously, I can not even get over this. Again, all of the characters are just so bland and boring that I actually want them to die. But, did they really need to put Jason in space. How do you go from a camp in the woods to FUCKING SPACE!? Seriously, there has to have been someone who said, “Don’t you think this idea is, I don’t know, fucking stupid”?

#8: Child’s Play - Lets face it, these movies aren’t scary… Like, at all. I mean, it’s a doll that goes around and kills people… Where is the horror in that. I mean, seriously, it could have been scary. It did have a lot of potential… Until Chucky started talking. That was when he became a smart mouthed douche bag. I mean, seriously, we have had hundreds of killer dolls that were actually scary, and now we make it to… this? Well, at least he isn’t the most pathetic thing in a slasher film.

#7: Leprechaun - Yes, this is a thing. Someone actually thought that the scariest thing to put in a horror movie is a fucking leprechaun. You can’t make this shit up. This thing goes around and tries to find his pot of gold- Oh Sweet Jesus. Seriously, this is their idea of scary. Did the creators have some irrational fear of small people or some shit. Also, if you thought this alone was stupid, how about the fact that the Leprechaun chases after his victim while he rides around on a fucking tricycle… I am not even kidding. At least Chucky tired to have SOME dignity.

#6: I Still Know What You Did Last Summer - Now, since you all would think that the Scream movie would make this list, I thought “Nah, I’ll go with the next worst thing”. That would be the movie, I Know What You Did Last Summer, or a better title would be, Stupid and Repetitive Shit. That is literally what the movie is. Everyone in the film is an idiot, and, once again, I care for none of their survival. If you can’t have me care for the victims survival, than there is no reason for anyone to enjoy this movie. It is just bad. If you make the villain seem like the hero when he goes around killing these idiots who put themselves in more danger than the killer is.. THEN THE MOVIES BAD! THROW IT OUT!

#5: Exorcist 2: The Heretic - After the brilliance of the first movie, I was hoping the sequel would b- Okay, seriously, I really shouldn’t lie. It’s a horror movie sequel. They ALL suck. Seriously, this movie just keeps shoving bugs in my face. It’s disturbing, sure, but after a while, it just looks like I’m watching a documentary on them. Also, did they really need to give the devil inside the girl the most pathetic name ever. I mean… Pazuzu? Really? Was that honestly the best name they could come up with? Seriously, Chu-Chu’s have better names than that

#4: Maximum Overdrive - You know, there is a reason why Stephen King isn’t allowed to be a director of movies based on his own books. This was a film directed by Stephen King, saying he wanted a true King experience. However, this would in fact become the worst movie based on a Stephen King book. I mean, seriously, who would ever think that an ATM calling Stephen King an asshole is scary. I mean, seriously. First we had a bunch of balloons in IT, than we had an army of Flying Spaghetti Monsters in Langoliers. And now we have a truck with a badly made Green Goblin face on the front. And when you add the terrible acting and the god awful effects, this easily makes one of Stephen King’s worst films

#3: The Wicker Man - Okay, I have talked about this movie a lot, so, I will try to talk about this as quickly as I can. The master of over-the-top acting, Nicolas Cage, goes to an island filled with psychotic women, and here, he steals a bike from a lady while holding her at gunpoint, beats up two women for no explicable reason, screams about a burnt doll, punches someone in the face while dressed as a bear, and created one of the most annoying memes in the world that I will not mention here. Trust me, this is a must see movie. It is just THAT bad, that it needs to be seen

#2: Troll 2 - Now, what makes this movie not at all scary is the fact that this movie doesn’t even have trolls. Their really goblins. Vegetarian goblins that turn people into this green slim that they eat. So yeah, you can tell this movie is pretty bad. I mean, seriously, the ghost of some kids grandpa warns him that they will be eaten by goblins, people turn into corn, there was something involving piss, and I think an evil cult that makes the guys from Manos: The Hands of Fate look like they are from Hot Fuzz, and- It’s just a mess

#1: Birdemic: Shock and Terror - Trust me, this movie is quite shocking and terrifying.. but only because it is the worst horror movie ever made. I mean, sweet Jesus. The acting is as bad makes the kindergarten Thanksgiving play from South Park look like fucking Hamlet. The story goes from being about a romantic comedy to FUCKING KAMIKAZE BIRDS! The special effects are so atrocious, that I could make better ones with fucking shadow puppets. This movie is unable to decide if it wants to be a romantic movie, a comedy movie, a horror movie, or a geological education movie. This film also has one of the laziest cameramen ever, who is always holding the camera at such odd angles. And the audio department doesn’t fair much better, as the audio can cut to being extremely loud or very quiet in a matter of seconds. This may be one of the worst horror movies ever, but you NEED to watch it. Trust me, it is just THAT BAD! You will, without a doubt, get a laugh

So, there you have it. Did you enjoy the list? Tell me what you thought of it below. With that, I will see you all next time