We all play games to actually get away from all the pointless chores of reality. Sadly, though, there are moments in games that throw us right back into reality by making us do the same chores as in reality. Now, a few rules before I begin. Only one game per franchise and only games that I have played. Now, with all that said, lets start the list.
#10: Survivor Chores from Dead Rising - Now, this really isn’t pointless, as saving survivors does get you a new weapon, levels you up, or gives you money. However, there are THOSE survivors. You know the ones, the ones that will refuse to come with you all because they don’t have enough alcohol in their system? The ones that won’t move a goddamn centimeter unless you pay them? The ones that you will just end up killing rather than saving because you don’t want to waste your time with that shit? Yeah…. THOSE survivors
#9: Waking Talon from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time - Once you travel to Hyrule Castle for the first time, you will then see that there is a hole that you can sneak into. You’ll also see that there is a fat bearded guy who looks a bit too much like Mario sleeping on the ground. Now, this is pointless because you have to waste so much time for the Cucco you got from Malon to hatch before you can use it to wake Talon’s fat ass up. I mean, come on. There is an evil green skinned man that is about to take over the kingdom. I can’t wait for an egg to hatch because you wanted to sleep on the job.
#8: Fishing Competition from Animal Crossing: New Leaf - Now, when you first compete in the fishing competition, it really isn’t that bad. You can trade in big fish for new furniture and eventually get the golden trophy for biggest fish…. Its the later times where this gets annoying. Even after you win, the fishing competition still goes on every month or so. They keep giving out the same pointless furniture, and if you actually compete in the fishing competition each year, you’ll just end up getting hundreds of trophies. I swear, Fable’s fishing competition was better than this
#7: Yoga from Grand Theft Auto 5 - I get that this mission was made to show just how short tempered Michael is, but, here is the thing… How many times did you do yoga in your free time in this game? Don’t lie, you never do yoga. It’s just a worthless mat that just sits there. Not to mention, what kind of masochist would want to do Quick-Time Events. Yes, this is just a reason to use Quick-Time Events… and those suck… so does yoga.
#6: Route 101 from Sonic Adventure 2 Battle - Why would you ever want to drive in a Sonic game? Why? This road is just pointless. All you do is play as Tails as he chases the president's limo. It’s not as awesome as it sounds. There is no challenge, no obstacles, no nothing. Just drive down an empty road, occasionally pass a badly rendered car, and then catch the president. And to think that this entire stupid level could have been used to create a Sonic level.
#5: Activity Missions from Saints Row: The Third - Now, you all know my hatred for this game, so I will just keep from saying what I would normally say about this….. Nah, just kidding. I FUCKING HATE THIS GAME! Okay, with that out of the way, these activity missions are just… boring. In past games, activities were always a way to let you boost your respect in order to play more of the story. Here, the activities are forced onto you. You HAVE to play them in any order the game wants you to. And worse, you don’t use respect to move the story along. You can play the story no matter what. THESE ACTIVITIES ARE FUCKING WORTHLESS! WHY IS THE GAME FORCING THESE TO BE PART OF THE STORY WHEN THEIR SO FUCKING POINTLESS!
#4: Castle Design from Fable 3 - Yet another god awful game. Once you become king, you are told that the world will be invaded by monsters in one year. So, you need to make good or evil choices to see what the world will turn into. However, one of the choices are to tell you what you want the design of the castle to be. Yeah, nevermind the fact that we all may die in a year, let's talk about the fucking decor. And the design is barely noticeable. If your gonna waste the king's time with a design choice, at least make the design noticeable.
#3: Opening from Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts - My god, ANOTHER terrible game on the list. Anyway, what makes this opening pointless is that you have to do a whole bunch of walking. And worse, it is tedious as hell. You walk SO slow, and it takes forever to get anywhere. It really doesn’t help that you gotta race a severed head, and it REALLY doesn’t help when the fucking head is faster than you. Also, this game even says how collecting things is stupid and a waste of time. In other words, this game is saying that Banjo Kazooie and Banjo Tooie were bad games. LIKE THIS GAME IS ONE TO TALK! Pointless and insulting. I wish I saved my anger for this instead of using it on number five.
#2: Collecting Sticks from Infinite Undiscovery - Finally, I get to talk about this game…. It’s a fun RPG! Now, with that said… sticks. I am not kidding, there is actually a mission where you have to walk around and collect ten goddamn sticks. Does this move the story along? No. Does this level up your characters? No. Does this do anything other than waste my time? No. I swear, this part right here has no purpose, at all. Oh well, could be worse… Could be the FUCKING TIMBERLANDS- But that’s a list for another time.
#1: Everything from Sneak ‘n Peek - It’s hide and seek, only with one person… If you like this game, you must be a very lonely person
So, there you have it. Did you enjoy the list? Tell me what you thought of it below. With that, I will see you all next time.
#10: Survivor Chores from Dead Rising - Now, this really isn’t pointless, as saving survivors does get you a new weapon, levels you up, or gives you money. However, there are THOSE survivors. You know the ones, the ones that will refuse to come with you all because they don’t have enough alcohol in their system? The ones that won’t move a goddamn centimeter unless you pay them? The ones that you will just end up killing rather than saving because you don’t want to waste your time with that shit? Yeah…. THOSE survivors
#9: Waking Talon from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time - Once you travel to Hyrule Castle for the first time, you will then see that there is a hole that you can sneak into. You’ll also see that there is a fat bearded guy who looks a bit too much like Mario sleeping on the ground. Now, this is pointless because you have to waste so much time for the Cucco you got from Malon to hatch before you can use it to wake Talon’s fat ass up. I mean, come on. There is an evil green skinned man that is about to take over the kingdom. I can’t wait for an egg to hatch because you wanted to sleep on the job.
#8: Fishing Competition from Animal Crossing: New Leaf - Now, when you first compete in the fishing competition, it really isn’t that bad. You can trade in big fish for new furniture and eventually get the golden trophy for biggest fish…. Its the later times where this gets annoying. Even after you win, the fishing competition still goes on every month or so. They keep giving out the same pointless furniture, and if you actually compete in the fishing competition each year, you’ll just end up getting hundreds of trophies. I swear, Fable’s fishing competition was better than this
#7: Yoga from Grand Theft Auto 5 - I get that this mission was made to show just how short tempered Michael is, but, here is the thing… How many times did you do yoga in your free time in this game? Don’t lie, you never do yoga. It’s just a worthless mat that just sits there. Not to mention, what kind of masochist would want to do Quick-Time Events. Yes, this is just a reason to use Quick-Time Events… and those suck… so does yoga.
#6: Route 101 from Sonic Adventure 2 Battle - Why would you ever want to drive in a Sonic game? Why? This road is just pointless. All you do is play as Tails as he chases the president's limo. It’s not as awesome as it sounds. There is no challenge, no obstacles, no nothing. Just drive down an empty road, occasionally pass a badly rendered car, and then catch the president. And to think that this entire stupid level could have been used to create a Sonic level.
#5: Activity Missions from Saints Row: The Third - Now, you all know my hatred for this game, so I will just keep from saying what I would normally say about this….. Nah, just kidding. I FUCKING HATE THIS GAME! Okay, with that out of the way, these activity missions are just… boring. In past games, activities were always a way to let you boost your respect in order to play more of the story. Here, the activities are forced onto you. You HAVE to play them in any order the game wants you to. And worse, you don’t use respect to move the story along. You can play the story no matter what. THESE ACTIVITIES ARE FUCKING WORTHLESS! WHY IS THE GAME FORCING THESE TO BE PART OF THE STORY WHEN THEIR SO FUCKING POINTLESS!
#4: Castle Design from Fable 3 - Yet another god awful game. Once you become king, you are told that the world will be invaded by monsters in one year. So, you need to make good or evil choices to see what the world will turn into. However, one of the choices are to tell you what you want the design of the castle to be. Yeah, nevermind the fact that we all may die in a year, let's talk about the fucking decor. And the design is barely noticeable. If your gonna waste the king's time with a design choice, at least make the design noticeable.
#3: Opening from Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts - My god, ANOTHER terrible game on the list. Anyway, what makes this opening pointless is that you have to do a whole bunch of walking. And worse, it is tedious as hell. You walk SO slow, and it takes forever to get anywhere. It really doesn’t help that you gotta race a severed head, and it REALLY doesn’t help when the fucking head is faster than you. Also, this game even says how collecting things is stupid and a waste of time. In other words, this game is saying that Banjo Kazooie and Banjo Tooie were bad games. LIKE THIS GAME IS ONE TO TALK! Pointless and insulting. I wish I saved my anger for this instead of using it on number five.
#2: Collecting Sticks from Infinite Undiscovery - Finally, I get to talk about this game…. It’s a fun RPG! Now, with that said… sticks. I am not kidding, there is actually a mission where you have to walk around and collect ten goddamn sticks. Does this move the story along? No. Does this level up your characters? No. Does this do anything other than waste my time? No. I swear, this part right here has no purpose, at all. Oh well, could be worse… Could be the FUCKING TIMBERLANDS- But that’s a list for another time.
#1: Everything from Sneak ‘n Peek - It’s hide and seek, only with one person… If you like this game, you must be a very lonely person
So, there you have it. Did you enjoy the list? Tell me what you thought of it below. With that, I will see you all next time.