Coach Straits: (Blows whistle) Alright, everyone. Today, we’re gonna be playing a little dodgeball. And despite what the school said, Wind has to play, as he has demanded to do so, or he will take work shop again, and we all know Wind should never touch power tools
Cody: Why do you wanna play dodgeball
Wind: Simple. It’s the only time I get to hurt these people without getting in trouble
James: Fair point
Coach Straits: Okay, everyone get into teams
(Wind takes the team with James and Amanda)
Cody: Okay, guess it’s just this side then (Goes on the other side with Hannah and Miku)
Coach Straits: Okay. Start! (Blows whistle)
Wind: (Throws a dodgeball, hitting Cody hard in the face)
Hannah: (Throws dodgeball, hitting James hard in the stomach and knocking him against the wall)
Amanda: (Throws a ball)
Miku: (Catches the ball, getting Amanda out and Cody back in)
Wind: (Throws a dodgeball hard at Cody)
Cody: Not again (Holds his hands up)

Sports Manager: (Sitting in the bus, yelling at his basketball team) Fucking failures! All of you! None of you could throw a ball to save your goddamn lives. If I’m ever gonna get paid from other players hard work, I need to think of something better than fucking basketball
(As the bus passes Eastwood High School, Cody crashes through the gym doors, with a red print from the ball on his face)
Sports Manager: ……. What the fuck
Coach Straits: (Follows Cody) Cody, do you need to go to the hospital
Cody: Maybe
Coach Straits: Maybe isn’t a yes. Okay, back to the game everyone
Sports Manager: I think I have an idea (To his team) Okay. You’re all fired. Get the hell off my bus.

Coach Straits: Okay, class. This is a sports manager by the name of… I’m sorry, What?
Sports Manager: The Names Buster. Paul Buster. I was the manager for the now disbanded Michigan White Snakes
James: Isn’t Whitesnake a band
Buster: Shut up. Anyway, I saw this strange game you all were playing. What do you call it?
Cody: Dodgeball?
Buster: That’s it. Anyway, I want to see what kind of game you guys play, if you don’t mind showing me
Coach Straits: Well, of course they would. Alright, all of you get onto the and play dodgeball
(They all get onto the court)
Coach Straits: Start!
Wind: (Throws a ball, hitting Cody, follows by Amanda and James hitting him hard in the face)
Buster: Jesus Christ… I think I may have found the new national sport

Buster: Alright, kids. After such a performance, I have decided to start a national sport for us all. It will be called Dodgeball. The new American pastime after baseball, except with less blacks. Maybe even no blacks. So, we need to start small before this blows up in popularity. Any school that would like to go against you all?
Wind: Well, there is this one.

Dave: Welcome, everyone, to the first ever Dodgeball tournament. I’m Dave Davidson
John: And I’m John Johnson
Dave: So, John. Any luck with your ex-wife
John: Nope. She still refuses to answer my calls (Chuckles and sighs) Anyway, how’s the cocaine problem
Dave: Problem? You call it a problem?
John: ….. Anyway, let’s see the teams. From our own Eastwood, Michigan, we’ve got the Eastwood Ballbreakers. Kind of an inappropriate name
Dave: Perfect for Eastwood High School. And all the way from the other side of Michigan, from the town of Dillon, the Dillon Beach Boys
John: Okay, now that has to cause some copyright issues
(Both teams walk onto the field)
Referee: Okay, everyone. Game start (Blows Whistle)
Wind: (Grabs a ball and throws it, hitting one competitor in the face)
(Three competitors grab balls)
Wind: Cody, over here
Cody: (Runs over) what do you need Wind
Wind: Just stay still (Steps behind him)
Cody: Why- (Gets hit by all three balls)
Wind: Great work, Cody (Grabs a ball and hits one of the competitors)
Hannah: (Catches a ball and hits one of the competitors)
Dave: I can’t believe this. The balls just keep going back and forth. Kinda like the pizza boy on your wife
John: (Nervous chuckle) Please don’t go into details, Dave
(One competitor remains)
James: This should be easy (Throws a ball)
Competitor: (Grabs the ball)
James: …. Oh
Referee: You’re out
James: (Walks off the court and sits on the bench next to Cody, who’s covered in bruises)
(the competitor throws a fastball, which hits Wind and knocks him against the wall)
Dave: …….
John: …….
Referee: …….
Crowd: ……..
Wind: ….. (Holds up the ball with his hands)
(The crowd cheers)
Dave: I can’t believe it. It’s completely cliched and in every sports movie, but I still can’t believe it
John: The Eastwood Ballbreakers have won the first ever Dodgeball game ever. But, who’s to say that this could become the next national American sport since baseball

Buster: This is amazing. Only a month and we’ve already turned Dodgeball into a national American sport. How does it feel to be ones that started all
Class: ……. Eh
Buster: Well, you should be more enthusiastic. We’ve gotten so good at Dodgeball that we’ve already gotten a call to face off against the private school in Washington. There St. June’s School for the Gifted, and they’ve got some serious talent. They’ll take your balls and tear them from your mouth just to make you taste them
James: (Corses his legs)
Buster: But we’re gonna show those greedy selfish pricks who's the boss
Wind: Aren't you a greedy selfish prick
Buster: Let’s not go into details about who is a hypocrite and shit. We’ve gotta train for St. June’s School for the Gifted.
Coach Straits: (Walks in) Hey, just wanted you all to know that St. June’s School for the Gifted is coming in two hours
Buster: Shit! No time to train. Okay, Plan B. I’ll bribe the referee and help us win the game easier.
Wind: Isn’t that cheating
Buster: It’s a national sport. We’ve always won by cheating. Now let’s go out there and cheat like never before.

John: Well, Dave. I can’t believe this day’s finally come
Dave: I can’t believe I’ve managed to not overdose this long to see it. The Eastwood Ballbreakers Vs. St. June’s School for the Gifted. It’s like something out of a sports movie. Let’s hope we can get something interesting
(The sports step onto the court)
Wind: (Spots a girl on the other team, wearing a blindfold) Who's the girl with the blindfold
Buster: That’s Franziska. An Austrian prodigy. She lost her sight when she was only five, yet her determination to become the ultimate dodgeball player has kept her going. She uses her hearing to spot her opponents. She may look harmless, but she’s no doubt the deadliest member of their team. You need to watch yourself
Wind: Whatever. (Steps onto the court)
Referee: Okay! Game Start!
(The opponents grab all the balls, leaving the others without balls)
Franziska: (Listens to the team)
Cody: Is she blindfolded? Ha, she can’t even see us
Franziska: (Smiles and throws the ball, hitting Cody in the head, cracking his skull and knocking him down)
Buster: What the fuck was that! Did you not see that!
Referee: Yep, I saw it
Buster: Call her out. She can’t injure another teammate
Referee: Says who
Buster: Says me. I paid you
Referee: (Shows stack of cash) Well, they paid me more
Buster: (Grinds his teeth)

Buster: Okay, so, we’ve already lost one team member
Wind: To be fair, Cody sucked at playing Dodgeball. We didn’t lose much with him out of the game.
Buster: So, we’ll have to think of a new plan
Wind: And that is?
Buster: We’ll just have to cheat even more
Wind: Sounds fair
Hannah: Hold on. This seems… wrong
Wind: Hannah, you’re in a sport that’s run by corruption and greed. Might as well be on the team with the greedy asshole who wins
Buster: Exactly. That’s the spirit, Wind. Now let’s show St. June’s School for the Gifted what Eastwood is made of

Referee: Okay. Game Start!
Wind: (Runs and grabs two balls)
Referee: Hold on! You can only hold one ball at a ti- (Wind throws the ball at the referee, knocking him out)
Dave: Holy shit! Did he just hit the referee
John: Is that even allowed?
Dave: At least it’s original compared to those sports movies.
(The other team runs, grabbing as many balls as they can carry)
James: Looks like they’re gonna start playing dirty
Wind: Then so are we. Hannah, get ready
Hannah: Got it
(Wind and Hannah run forward)
Opponent: Uh… who do I throw it at
(Wind and Hannah throw their balls, hitting the opponent)
James: (Throws a ball, hitting an opponent in the face)
Franziska: (Throws a ball at James)
James: (Ducks and avoids it) Ha, you missed (The ball bounces off the wall and hits James in the back of the head)
Dave: The ball bounced back and hit him in the head
John: I’ve never seen such a thing. Especially by a blind girl
Wind: James (Runs over and picks James up) James, you can’t get out. You’re my meat shield
James: Don’t worry. I’ll be fine
Wind: But you’ll live, right
James: Yeah
Wind: Oh. Okay (Drops him and gets back to the game)
Franziska: (Listens to their footsteps, and throws a ball, hitting Miku in the face, bouncing the ball off her, and hitting Amanda in the stomach)
Dave: A double out!
John: This Franziska girl is possibly one of the best players ever. It’s gonna take more than just rushing at her to get her out
Wind: (Picks up a ball) Okay, Hannah. It’s just us two. We can do this
Hannah: Yeah, if we plan it just right, we can do this
Wind: (Steps behind her)
Hannah: Wind, what are you do- (Gets hit in the shoulder with a ball)
Dave: And she’s out
Hannah: Wind! You dick!
Wind: Don’t worry. I’ll avenge your failure
Hannah: (Walks off the court)
Dave: Its just one on one now. I haven’t been this excited since my acid trip
John: I’m not sure you should mention that over the PA system, but I agree. This is quite a thrilling match
Wind: (Stays still)
Franziska: (Stays still, trying to listen for footsteps)
Dave: They're just standing there
John: It’s more suspenseful than I thought it would be
Wind: …….. You gonna stand there or do something
Franziska: (Grins and throws the ball hard)
Wind: (Moves out of the way, and dodges the second coming ball after it bounces off the wall) I live in Eastwood. I’ve dodged bullets since I was six. (Picks the ball up and throws it at Franziska)
Franziska: (Hears the wind from the ball and only moves her head, avoiding the ball)
Wind: Okay, that’s it. Throw the ball. I’ve about had it with you
Franziska: (Picks the ball up and holds it in her hand)
John: I think she’s about ready to throw the ball with everything she’s got
Franziska: (Takes the ball and launches it forward at full speed)
Wind: (Holds his arms out and grabs the ball, the speed burning his hands) (Takes the ball and throws it back with all his speed)
Franziska: (Moves her head, avoiding it again) (The ball bounces back, coming back and hitting Franziska in the back of the head, knocking her forward onto the ground)
Dave: They did it! The Eastwood Ballbreakers have defeated St. June’s School for the Gifted
John: I’ve never seen a match like this. And actually original too

Buster: That was great, everyone. Dodgeball has become a national sport, and we’ve finally reached the fame we’ve wanted
Team: (Weakly) Yay
Buster: I’ve got even more matches for us after this. We’ll be able to go across the state and earn me so much money. What do you say
Wind: ….. No
Cody: No fucking way
James: Not a chance
Hannah: Not gonna happen
Miku: Not really
Amanda: I refuse
Buster: What? You can’t just quit
Wind: Well, we retire. We’re done
Buster: Fine. I’ll just start up a new sport… Like air hockey. Or beer pong. I’ll be better than ever before. You all go on back to your school and be nobodies
Wind: Whatever. At least nobodies don’t get injuries like this (They all walk out of the stadium)
Cody: So, is anyone else pissing blood, or is that just me?