Hello, everyone, and today on Jojo-nuary, we are going to be taking a look at all of the villains of the Jojo universe. A hero is only as good as the villain that goes against them, and Jojo always manages to have good villains… most of the time. Jojo always manages to have very unique villains, all of them doing something more than just take over the world……. Well, most of the time…. Some of the time…. At least three times. The point is, the way they try to achieve their goals makes them all very unique. So, to better show my love for the villains of the series, how about I show you my ranking of all of the villains in the series. All… six of them. Even though there were eight parts… This is because one villain was in two parts and there is so far no villain announced for part 8. It probably makes no sense, but then again, neither does Jojo in general, so let’s get to the ranking of the six Jojo villains. Also, this contains spoilers for all parts, so you have been warned

Rank 6: Diavolo from Vento Aureo



So yeah, as many people have said before, Diavolo is probably the least interesting villain of Jojo… And I agree. Diavolo has the same sort of goals as Dio. He wants to take over the world, because of course. Not by use of vampire magic, but by use of his control of the Italian gang Passione. Diavolo also has a fear of people knowing his identity, and will kill anyone who tries to find out his identity or will remove any connection that could lead people to him. So, Diavolo wants to take over the world, yet at the same time wants to hide from the world. As interesting of an idea as that is, it wasn’t used well at all. This is because Diavolo wasn’t anywhere in Vento Aureo until the very end. And no, his counterpart Doppio does not count. Diavolo just didn’t seem to have any personality outside of being just a mob boss. That’s about it, really. He just runs a gang and hides his identity. Other than that, he’s got nothing. Even his Stand introduction wasn’t much. Yes, King Crimson is an awesome Stand, but it was introduced so poorly in the manga. With all villain Stands, it takes time before their true power is revealed. But with Diavolo, when he was introduced, his Stand’s true power was introduced. I’m not spoiling anything when I tell you that King Crimson’s ability is to erase five seconds of time, because the manga doesn’t even bother. Even his final fight with Giorno was pretty one sided, because one Giorno got Gold Experience Requiem, it was all over. At least his punishment was cool. So, Diavolo. His Stand was way better.



Rank 5: Kars from Battle Tendency



When I first saw Kars in Battle Tendency, I thought he was a pretty cool villain. But, as I got more and more into Jojo, I soon found out that Kars was just a very simple villain. He didn’t do anything awful, but nothing that makes him stand out. All he does to make him stand out is the creation of the Stone Mask, the same thing that allowed Dio to become a vampire. So, if Kars was never around, none of the stuff in Jojo would have happened. But other than that, Kars is just very simple. Being a leader of the Pillar Men, a race of ancient vampires who are immortal but immune to sunlight, who wishes to find the Red Stone of Aja and combine it with the Stone Mask in order to become the ultimate lifeform and no longer be weak to the sun so he can take over the world (Because of course). Other than that, Kars is just very simple. And his final fight, while at first, seems really cool, you will soon notice that everything was just luck. Even Jojo launching him into space was just luck. You’re telling me that, after Joseph was able to outsmart every other Pillar Men before, and after an amazing fight with Wammu, the best Pillar Man, he only defeated Kars through just sheer luck. Boring. I hear people say that Kars could come back, but Hirohiko Araki states that Kars is forever gone and is never coming back… And I’m fine with that, really. Unless Kars can come up with something new, he can stay in space.



Rank 4: Dio Brando from Phantom Blood and Stardust Crusaders



For the longest time since I could remember, I always stated that Dio was one of my favorite villains in anime. And while I still love Dio’s smug personality and how much personality he has, I’m afraid to say that he is no longer my favorite Jojo villain. He isn’t even in the top three. So, before we talk about who bested him, let’s talk about him in general. Dio was once a normal kid in England, but was still very evil. Dio’s father, Dario, saved the father of Jonathan Joestar, George, and was in his debt. Because of this, when Dario died, Dio went to live with the Joestars. However, Dio wanted the fortune for himself, and did everything he could to get it. After trying to poison George failed, he used the Stone Mask and the blood of George to turn himself into a vampire. Dio was even successful enough in his villainy to kill the main character of Phantom Blood, Jonathan Joestar. And he came back over a hundred years later to go after Jotaro Kujo in Stardust Crusaders, with new powers such as his own Stand known as The World, which gives him the ability to stop time for five to nine seconds. Now, of course, the reason Dio is no longer my favorite is for a few reasons. First, his goals. He wants to kill the Joestars, take their blood, and take over the world- Goddamn it. Lastly, the reason why Dio is no longer my favorite villain is because the other villains managed to be just a little bit better in some way. Sorry Dio. You were a great start for the series, but you have been replaced.



Rank 3: Enrico Pucci from Stone Ocean



Okay, so this may be a bit hard for me to talk about, since Enrico’s goals were hard to understand. Don’t think that means I didn’t read carefully. Everyone else who read part 6 was horribly confused. Anyway, what I like about Enrico is that he’s got the most backstory. A man who wanted to do some good, but soon fell into tragedy. His sister killed herself, and he was unable to trust anyone, his life being full of secrets. The only person he trusted was Dio, who he formed a friendship with. Dio then spoke to Enrico about his idea of Heaven, to which he described that Enrico himself should create. So, in many years, Enrico began to work on the creation of Heaven, which he started by stealing Jotaro’s memory, as he read a book that contained the steps of creating Heaven and he destroyed (It’s a long and complicated story), and, using the bone from Dio, was able to create the Green Baby. Now, Enrico had a Stand called Whitesnake, which could steal these discs from people. These discs had Stands, and he could take discs whenever he wanted and give them to whoever he wanted. Now, I say this because the Stand he got from the Green Baby was a million times more scary, because that Stand was C-Moon, a Stand that can manipulate gravity, even able to turn people inside out. After this, and reaching Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, Enrico reaches the last stage of his Stand’s metamorphosis, creating the ultimate Stand, Made in Heaven, which can… actually, I’m not going to say. It’s too good to spoil, that I urge you to read this part. Enrico has one of the best Stands, and as a follower of another villain, manages to be one of the most unique and interesting villains ever, and he is just too good to spoil. Also, he manages to kill more main characters than any other villain in the series, so that’s also a pretty good feature for a villain.



Rank 2: Funny Valentine from Steel Ball Run



So, we had a vampire, an older vampire, a mob boss, and a priest. So, what can Funny Valentine do that makes him different? Well, for starters, he’s the goddamn president of the United fucking States. Is that different enough for you. He also has a habit to shotgun a beer once in awhile. Seriously, I haven’t even bothered to talk about what he does as a villain, and I’m already gushing about how amazing of a character he is. Anyway, Valentine, being the president, is looking for all the Corpse Parts, pieces that grant the person who finds them multiple powers. The more they find, the stronger they get. Now, why would Valentine want to find these pieces. To take over the world? No, thank goodness. No, none of that garbage. It’s because he wants to make America great again… seriously. Valentine was Trump before Trump was even a thing, and he wasn’t a meme. But in all seriousness, Valentine wants to use these parts to help bring America back to what it was. It really doesn’t make him sound like a villain. It makes him sound more like an anti-hero. He doesn’t want to do anything bad. He just wants to make America a great place, like any president wants. And then there’s his Stand, Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap is a very OP Stand, with the ability to, not do anything with time, but instead, can manipulate space. By this, I mean that Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap can travel from one alternate universe to another, with different changes, and can use this to his advantage, even to kill someone by pushing them into their alternate self. And when he gets D4C Love Train, it just becomes all kinds of OP. Funny Valentine. Trump may not be your president, but Valentine may be. Also, I was wondering if I should be Diego Brando on this list, but I decided against it since Funny Valentine was clearly the major villain. Diego’s a great villain, but not one that I consider the main villain of Steel Ball Run.



Rank 1: Yoshikage Kira from Diamond is Unbreakable



Yes, this David Bowie looking son of a bitch is my favorite Jojo villain. Hell, after the ending of the Diamond is Unbreakable anime, he may be my favorite anime villain in general. So, Yoshikage Kira is a man who only has one goal in life. It’s not to take over the world (Thankfully), it’s not to prove a point to someone or a group of people, and it’s not to achieve some selfish mission involving lots of dead Joestars. Nope. He just wants to live a quiet and peaceful life in Morioh. Yep, that’s it, really. He just wants to live quietly in Morioh. Oh, and he also happens to be a serial killer who murders young women, takes their hands, and dates them like they were real girls… That’s also a thing. But that’s besides the point. So, Yoshikage Kira just wants a quiet life as a serial killer, but those damn Joestars have to go and ruin it for him. But, he has a solution. Other than having his face removed and changing his identity near the second half of the series, he has the ability known as Killer Queen. Killer Queen is probably my favorite Stand in all of Jojo. Killer Queen has the ability to turn anything it touches into a bomb. Once the bomb is activated, it will destroy anything that touches it and will vaporize them as if they weren’t ever there. That is what makes it pretty threatening. But that’s just the beginning. Killer Queen also has the secondary bomb, Sheer Heart Attack, a kinda sorta Stand that blows up anything that gives off heat from a far distance, allowing Kira to leave Sheer Heart Attack there to kill anyone in that area as he goes on with his usual day. He can just be drinking coffee as Sheer Heart Attack is blowing up some pesky Morioh kids. But the final attack of Killer Queen is Bites the Dust, an ability that allows Killer Queen to rewind time by an hour when someone learns of Kira’s identity, blowing up that person and killing them in the process so no one can know his name. But what I love about Kira is not his goal, his powers, or that sick watermelon hair, but his personality. You know a lot about this one villain more than you should a villain. He works an office job, what his favorite sandwiches are, where he buys his shirts, everything. It makes him feel very human… As human as a serial killer with a anthro cat that blows stuff up gets, but that is what makes Kira a great villain. He isn’t just evil incarnate. He has likes and dislikes like everyone else, which really gets you thinking… But he is still a serial killer…. So there’s that.