Lmao! it's just hilarious:


Dorata: Miss Blair, you no longer held hostage by evil Prince Louis.
Blair: Oh yay! Now I can really get my hands on that wild forest atop my boyfriend's head!
Chuck: I don't think you're ready for this jelly.
Nate: No one is ready for that jelly. Why can't I have a onesie?
Chuck: Cause you're not Chuck Bass.
Nate: Wah, problems with Lola.
Chuck: I have a kangaroo tattoo.
Nate: ...........
Serena: What are you gonna do now that you're free of the French Terminator?
Blair: Screw your ex, DUH!
Serena: Oh right, I'm happy for you. Too bad you can't be a princess anymore.
Blair: Wait! HOLD UP, BITCH! I didn't think this through!
Serena: I don't wanna be loved by anyone so I'm gonna force Lola to take my place as New York's most famous person that's famous for being slutty and blonde.
Blair: Yea, sure.
Lola: Hi friend from Florida who's only plot point is to be cougar bait for Diana Payne.
Aiden: Oh, hi.
Nate: Funny running into you here.
Lola: Diana Payne.
Nate: I gotta go.
Lola: I think Nate's in love with Diana Payne.
Dan: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blair: That's nice. I'm busy. Go away.
Dan: Blah?
Dorota: I write songs with Vanya!
Dan: Give me Blair's divorce papers even though they're none of my business.
Dorota: Ugh, fine. I don't feel like doing my job today anyway.
Dan: Blair didn't sign her divorce papers?? I must ask Chuck's best friend/my best friend Nate what to do about Chuck's girlfriend/my girlfriend Blair!
Rufus: Give Ivy all your mom's money so we can move back to UES and you can STFU.
Lily: No.
Rufus: I'll wear more plaid.
Lily: Ugh, fine.
Andrew Tyler P.I: I found your mom again. Not the one you had in first season who was addicted to Paxil. Or the one that died when she gave birth to you. But the one who told you she wasn't your mom when she is. Or maybe she's not. I found that one.
Chuck: Cool. What should I do?
Andrew Tyler P.I: Talk to Blair, of course.
Chuck: She hates me because of reasons.
Andrew Tyler P.I: But you paid her dowry.
Chuck: Shut your hole!
Andrew Tyler P.I: My b....but no seriously, talk to Blair.
Chuck: Ugh, fine.
Serena: Look, I get lingerie named after me for no apparent reason.
Lola: Cool.
Serena: Put it on! I've always wanted to see my cousin in her underwear!
Lola: No.
Serena: DO IT!
Lola: AYE!
Serena: Sorry you're in your skivvies but I pulled the fire alarm.
Lola: Oh gee.
Diana: The Spectator is mine.
Nate: No it's mine.
Diana: It's mine!
Nate: NU UH MINE!!!
Diana: NO! OH BTW, what this place needs another party.
Nate: Well, obvi.
Dan: Why isn't Blair divorced yet?
Nate: I'm gonna tell you this cause I suck at being Chuck's friend. Chuck paid Blair's dowry.
Dan: THAT RAT BASTARD!
Nate: No, he's just a good guy.
Dan: HE'S A RAPIST! AN ARSONIST! A DAMN SCALLYWAG!
Nate: Okay....hey I'm throwing a party.
Dan: Well, obviously it's Monday.
Dorota: What is wrong with you Miss Blair?
Blair: Not telling.
Dorota: Witty Banter.
Blair: Retaliate the witty banter.
Dorota: Witty Banter once again!
Blair: I'm stupid that's why. I wanna keep playing pretty pretty princess.
Chuck: Oh Jesus what am I doing here?
Blair: OH GOD WHY SO PERFECT?!
Chuck: My mommy saved my life. Should I talk to her?
Blair: Why are you here?
Chuck: Because you're clearly a sane person. What should I do?
Blair: You want back into my La Perla's!
Chuck: Uhhh....
Blair: You evil spawn of Satan! Clearly you're using a sensitive subject for you to get laid!
Chuck: You're fucking insane.
Blair: Am I wrong?
Chuck: ..................what is my life?
Blair: Time for me to walk away from you for the 400th time.
Serena: What's up brother from another mother?
Chuck: Don't say mom right now, I'm sensitive.
Serena: Why are you here?
Chuck: Because I hate myself.
Serena: Clearly.
Chuck: Should I talk to my mommy?
Serena: I say GO FOR IT!
Chuck: Gee, thanks sis!
Dan: CHUCK LEFT BLAIRS?!!! MUST JUDGE!!!!
Blair: Yea he did, who cares. I crushed his soul again.
Dan: He paid your dowry.
Blair: Floppy haired muppet say what?
Dan: Oops.
Blair: Must find Chuck! I'm not done murdering his soul!
Dan: Well, fuck.
Lawyer: Ivy left the penthouse. Your wife screwed her over.
Rufus: SHOCK AND AWE!
Serena: You should model underwear for everyone to see in the middle of a party! Come on it's totally normal. I do it in the living room for my dad all the time!
Lola: No, I'm good.
Serena: Nate's going with Diana.
Lola: I'm there.
Rufus: Lily you lied to me! That never happens!
Lily: Rufus, shut up and make waffles.
Rufus: It's waffles for one now! Be gone evil wench.
Lily: Are you for serious?
Lola: Oh hi, Nate and Diana. Remember my friend who is now important to the storyline?
Nate: Welcome dude.
Diana: I'll snack on him later. Ta!
Nate: You still wanna piece of dis.
Diana: Pashaw!
Nate: Don't you wish your boyfriend was hot like me? DONT CHA!
Diana: I'm totally sane and normal. Watch me kiss this total stranger that Lola brought.
Blair: Oh good, I found you!
Chuck: I'm lost.
Blair: Did you pay my dowry?
Chuck: No comment.
Blair: ROAR YOU'RE BUYING ME!! I'M GONNA INEXPLICABLY BRING UP THE HOTEL INCIDENT THAT I FORGAVE YOU FOR A LONG TIME AGO!
Chuck: ..........seriously, what is my life?
Blair: You want me so bad you paid millions of dollars for this ass!
Chuck: Nope. I just hate myself and want you to be free to be with Dan.
Blair: YOU RAPIST ASSHOLE!
Chuck: Alright, I'm done.
Dan: Sorry for breathing down your neck.
Blair: Chuck's done one bad thing to me. Chuck's never done anything good.
Dan: That's what I'm saying.
Diana: Let me eat you, guest star!
Nate: Lolz, filmed it.
Lola: We sure showed her, honey!
Serena: Wait, you lied to me when I was lying to you to come to a party where I was trying to force you into being an It girl when you don't want to be just to scheme with your boyfriend and set up his ex?
Lola: Basically.
Serena: SLUT!
Lola: It girl thing, not for me.
Serena: I MUST STAY IT GIRL FOREVER!!!
Chick: Uh, take off that lingerie, you're not an It girl anymore.
Serena: Well, shit.
Diana: Here, you keep the Spectator.
Nate: Gee, thanks.
Diana: P.S. I love you.
Andrew Tyler P.I: Elizabeth Fisher is a nun. Not your mom.
Chuck: Bull shit.
Andrew Tyler P.I: No seriously. Nun. Not mom.
Chuck: If I laced this scotch with rat poisoning do you think I'll die.
Andrew Tyler P.I: How many moms are you on now dude?
Chuck: I lost count.
Blair: Why am I in this terrible dress?
Dan: Because of reasons.
Blair: I hate my life.
Dan: Makes sense.
Blair: Your hair is staring at me.
Dan: This crown is fake.
Blair: KILL ME NOW!
Dan: Shut up and do what I say.
Blair: Oh okay, I love you.
Dan: Pretty pretty princess.
Chuck: Why didn't I die on the streets of Prague?


all credit goes to beelieve at tumblr