Jacob: I love her *pulls her arm*
Edward:but I love her more *pulls her arm harder*
Bella:ow that hurts ya know. *winces*
Edward and jacob: SHUT UP BITCH!
Bella:well ya know what If youz are gonnae be like this then a dinnae want tae be wae either ae ye so FUCK OFF!
Edward: I am soo sorry bella please forgive me... if yoo don't a wull go tae the volturi and ask to die.
Bella: I am gonnae smack seven shades of shit out of you you sonovabitch- your dead you hear me dead.
Jacob: bella wanna go have sex? you are one fiiiiine peice of ass.
Bella yeah okay. *edward drops her arm like he has been tasered*
Edward: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! i AM GONNE TAE THE VOLTURI AND ASKIN TAE DIE THEN I WON'T TAINT YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE WITH THE DOG ANYMORE. *runs away sobbing goes to the volturi asks to die it doesnt work he goes on a killing spree through the city of volterra and eventually gets ripped to shreds and burned.
Edward *while burning*:I died a one hundred and nine year old virgin oh the horror thee shhhaammee bella I lovee you always did and now youv killt me ya hoe. *dies shreikein*