My saying so is in no way meant as a slight to our indie debut Take This To Your Grave, a strong if derivative pop-punk album from a young band yet uninterested in finding itself. I have slightly less positive things to say of its succesor, the exponentially more succesful but creatively inconsistent From Under The Cork Tree for which we were nominated that night.
It downed on me that, were we to win, we wouldn't have deserved it. We rightfully lost, I rode back to my hotel, ripped the ascot out of my collar, walked across the street, ate dinner alone, and wondered to myself what would have to change in order for me to feel more confortable with accolades.
Fear. I was afraid of being who I was musically. Pete was always honest and brave lyrically. Joe and Andy were in their playing as well. But I was timd and hid behind convention as well as re-imaginings of other peoples innovations.
I went back to my hotel and began simply writing without fear of how our audience or critics would react. When we ultimately recorded, I sang how I did at home for myself, not in the way I had learned to sing "Punk-rock".
While I won't say Infinity On High was our best album, I will say it was a watershed of me creatively. Zero Grammy nominations though.
P.V.S"
