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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Meanwhile, on the train

Bartholomew: *sees passenger*
Passenger: *looking at map of Equestria* Hey, dude. Do you know how long it would take to get from Germany to my place if I was driving?
Barthololmew: (Not this again.) Perhaps you should try looking at an actual world map instead of that peice of trash l:(
Passenger: Who asked you? Fine, if you're gonna be like that, I'll use my smartphone, and it'll tell me how to get there, and how long it will take.
Bartholomew: I hate my life *jumps out train*
Passenger: *looks up directions* What's his problem? *continues looking* WHHHATTT?!?!
Passenger 2: Be quiet! We're watching the scenery!
Passenger: I gotta swim across the atlantic ocean!! Fuck your scenery!
Passenger 2: *looks at smartphone* Now I see why the conductor jumped out of the train. *jumps out of train*

Meawhile, near the tracks

Bartholomew: *sees passenger land on hooves* Are you alright?
Passenger 2: Yeah. I just saw somepony using a smartphone!!
Bartholomew: We can't use those in 1951. Yet he, and another worker on this railroad I know did it!
Passenger 2: Do you suppose they were looking up the same thing?
Bartholomew: Yes, they actually were.
Passenger 2: Why?
Bartholomew: Not sure.

90 minutes later at Denver's train station

Hawkeye: *stops at station*
Coffee Creme: *looks back* Wait a minute, where's Bartholomew?
Hawkeye: What do you mean? He's in the tr- *looks back* He's gone.
Coffee Creme: We gotta find him *climbs out engine*
Hawkeye: I gotta stay here!
Coffee Creme: Did you see the conductor?
Passenger: Did you see a plane to Neigh York?
Coffee Creme: No?
Passenger: Then I can't help you (God I can't believe I have to swin across the atlantic ocean!)
Passenger 3: Excuse me, miss? Did you say you were looking for your conductor?
Coffee Creme: Yes. You saw him?
Passenger 3: He jumped out the train. That passenger you were just talking to was using some futuristic machine, and annoyed the conductor, and another passenger.
Coffee Creme: Oh no

Back at Cheyenne

Pete: So you don't feel like you can be a conductor right?
Bartholomew: N-n-no sir, I don't.
Pete: Well, you can work in the yards if you'd like.
Bartholomew: Sure.
Snowflake: Big mistake!
Bartholomew: Why?
Pete: Ah, she's just teasing. Gordon worked in the yards last year, and he had a tough time.
Bartholomew: Where is Gordon anyway?
Gordon: *swimming in atlantic ocean* I should be close soon. *looks up* LAND!!! *swims toward land*

Nearby was a runway in an airport

Runway pony: Land!
Pilot: *about to land*
Gordon: Am I in Germany?!
Runway pony: No, this is Jersey City.
Pilot: *crashes into building*
Gordon: Oh.

Meanwhile in the train yard at Cheyenne.

Red Rose: Orion, a little faster please.
Orion: *pushes freight cars a little faster*
Bartholomew: I don't see why Gordon hated this. *uncouples freight cars*
Red Rose: Be careful Bartholomew, there's a tank car with chemicals coming toward you. Uncouple it from the rest of the train.
Bartholomew: Ok
Orion: *pushes chemical car past Bartholomew*
Bartholomew: Hey wait!! *runs past chemical car*
Orion: *stops*
Bartholomew: *uncouples tank car*

The tank car started rolling, but Bartholomew's hoof somehow got stuck on the ladder*

Bartholomew: AHH! HELP!!!
Red Rose: What?
Orion: The?
Bartholomew: FUCK!! *nearly hits signal*
Orion: I hope he doesn't get hurt
Bartholomew: *grabs gun*
Red Rose: Why does he have that?
Bartholomew: *shoots ladder* I got to get free *shoots ladder*
Orion: Look out for the box car next to your tank car
Bartholomew: AH *hits box car, and falls off tank car* I'M OK!! Leave me here so I can rest my broken bones!!

The End

On The Next Episode Of Ponies On The Rails

Gordon shows you how he got a smartphone in 1951
posted by Seanthehedgehog
The two helicopters were getting close to the border separating North, and South Vietnam.

Guy: We're getting towards enemy lines. Where's all the fighting?
Black Tuesday: I don't like the way this looks.
Vietnamese Ponies: *Appearing out of bushes with rocket launchers, and rifles*
Pilot: Look out! We got Charlies on the left!!
Pilot 2: I see them!!
Orion: Take this you son of a-
Vietnamese Pony 64: *Shoots Orion*
Orion: *Falls out of the chopper* WhooaaaAAAAAHHHHHH!! *Lands on the ground, and dies*
Vietnamese Pony 40: *Shoots a rocket*
Pilot: Look out!!
Pilot 2: *Gets the back of his helicopter hit*...
continue reading...
added by Jade_23
Source: DeviantArt
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: March 11, 1963
Location: Cheyenne Wyoming
Time: 7:48 PM
Railroad: Union Pacific

Song: link

Hawkeye, Stylo, Dan, Mirage, Metal Gloss, and Mike went back to the casino.

Hawkeye: Hey Mike, why don't you play poker by yourself, while we play something else?
Mike: But, didn't we come here to play poker together?
Hawkeye: Uh, who came up with that?
Audience: *Laughing*
Stylo: I didn't think of that.
Mirage: Was it anyone's idea?
Dan: I don't think so.
Metal Gloss: No one said we were playing poker together.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mike: Oh well. Have fun together. *Goes to play poker by himself*
Metal Gloss:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: March 9, 1963
Location: Cheyenne Wyoming
Time: 10:56 AM
Railroad: Union Pacific

Going up Sherman Hill, Mirage was with Dan in a freight train.

Mirage: *Looking at the sky* Is it me, or is it getting dark for some reason?
Dan: Dark? What are you talking about?
Mirage: Oh forget it. You pollacks don't understand anything.
Audience: *Laughing*
Dan: You Brits are the ones that don't understand anything.
Mirage: That doesn't bother me, because I'm Hungarian. I have a British accent, but I'm Hungarian, 100%.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*
Mirage: *Continues looking at the sky* It's almost 11, and it's...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
Slash - Shit...
Guard - I tell you what happend. Those girls got nuts and.
Slash - Shut up.


-I thought he will go for Fluttershy next to frame RD but. In the end I was at fault. I followed logic of the type killing. Twilight was universal she could kill anyone. Rarity was a bait out. And eart pony killed eart pony. Following that logic the pegasuses would kill each orther but using a gun in prison.-

Ace - So AppleJack died because of being brutally beaten up by Twilight wich is bullshit because it's clear she got shot.
Slash - Fox is in the hurry. Hm..
Ace - So... What do you want to do.
Slash - Investigate........
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
At the hospital, Tim, and Julia went to see Dan. He was laying down in a bed, and had an empty tray in front of him.

Tim: Looks like you just finished lunch.
Julia: How is everything here?
Dan: Fine.
Tim: Who were you pursuing?
Dan: Two ponies. I don't know what they look like, but I did see horns on both their heads, so they're both unicorns.
Julia: What kind of car did they have?
Dan: An old sports car, a yellow AMC Matador.
Tim: Matador?
Julia: Those aren't common.
Dan: And the license plate was C53-SDS.
Tim: Thanks Dan. We'll tell the Captain.

At the station, Captain Jefferson was working on papers...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Stargazer's car
Stargazer's car
Song: link

The sun was rising in Gran Turismo, and the sky was a wonderful shade of orange.

Stargazer: *Driving his car at 65 miles an hour*
Black Tuesday: You're gonna get the cops after us before we even meet up with the others.
Stargazer: Don't worry. The cops won't catch us in this fine machine.

A brand new 300 turned onto the road behind them.

Stargazer: Either that's the pony racing us, or it's an undercover cop.
Black Tuesday: Undercover?
Stargazer: Oh yes. The police here have plenty of undercover police cars. Both 300's, and Impalas, and they're all brand new. However, as I said earlier, they...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Tim: Those two keep getting away from us Captain. We need to expand our jurisdiction to Canterlot.
Captain Jefferson: Do you know how difficult that is?
Tim: I understand, but when the suspects get out of Gran Turismo, neither the State Troopers, or CHP can get prepared in time.

---

Stargazer: *Holding $500 in front of Black Tuesday* Look at all of this money.
Black Tuesday: That's not a lot.
Stargazer: Maybe so, but if we keep doing what we just did, we'll get more of this.

---

Toby: The stallions know where to go, and when.
Tim: Why don't we use that to our advantage?...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: February 17, 1963
Location: Cheyenne Wyoming
Time: 10:09 AM
Railroad: Union Pacific

Orion was on his way back to Cheyenne from Denver, after delivering the Iron Ore, and steel. Now the freight cars on his train are empty.

Orion: The adventure never seems to end for those freight cars. They just keep going all over the place, and.. What the fuck am I talking about?
Audience: *Laughing*
Orion: *Going down Sherman Hill* Okay, time for my plan.
Mirage: *Backing three diesels onto a freight train*
Dan: *Walking to Mirage's train*
Mike: Where are you two heading?
Dan: Westbound, to Greeley.
Mirage:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Song (Start at 1:39): link

Blue: *Enters Gran Turismo*
State Trooper Pony: All units, State Troopers, and Gran Turismo Police Department, Blue Fedora, and Aqua Marine are at it again. Southbound, black Pontiac, Ida, 2, 4, Edward, King, Sam.
Two Undercover Police Ponies: *Driving Impalas*
Undercover Police Pony: Ten-4, we're joining the pursuit.
Tim: *Next to Julia as she drives the M4* GT24 to units chasing Blue, and Aqua, what's your location?
State Trooper Pony: Main Street.
Julia: *Drives*
Tim: Ten-4, joining pursuit from Local Consideration.
Aqua: *Holding a Glock pistol* Turn left at that intersection....
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Julia was driving the M4 Police car, patrolling the Round Freeway, with Tim sitting next to her.

Tim: Did Dan tell you the bad news?
Julia: Dan hasn't spoken to me in two days. What happened?
Tim: He, and his partners were pulled out of the Blue Fedora, and Aqua Marine case.
Julia: They must be upset about it.
Tim: Yeah. It was because of something Andy did. He shot a pony when he wasn't supposed to.
Julia: Why? What was the other pony doing?
Tim: He was just visiting a friend, and was taking some things with him. Some apples, a carrot, and he borrowed a PS2 controller, because his wasn't working....
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
Void - You wanted to meet me.
Dan - Yes. Do you know what holds Valkyries core?
Void - Same as old PCS is SLS.
Dan - Saftey Lock System... So safe that it can be open. We called it overlock.
Void - So?
Dan - Use it too long and you simply die.

---
???
---
Nyx - Hmmm... You smell it. The storm is coming.
Blaze - Yes *looks over him* Butyful.
Nyx - So my dear. *looks in he eyes* It's time to interrupt their fun event.


---
operation shadow raid
---

Dan - Phase 3 end. Phase 4.
Void - Let-
Blaze - Well well well.
-Blaze shows in same Valkyrie but black and red colored-
Blaze - *shoots something to the ground as it...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: February 14, 1963
Location: Cheyenne Wyoming
Time: 9:46 AM
Railroad: Union Pacific

Ponies: *Listening to the loudspeaker at the station*
Loudspeaker Pony: Attention all passengers, happy Valentines Day. The next train arriving is The City Of Denver. It's really big, so make sure it doesn't hit you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Hawkeye: *Kissing Metal Gloss as he drives a freight train out of the yard*
Metal Gloss: I feel so warm.
Hawkeye: Your face is red. Perhaps it's something I did.
Metal Gloss: Oh, no the heater is too high. *Lowers the temperature on the heater*
Audience: *Laughing*

Snowflake...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: February 9, 1963
Location: Cheyenne Wyoming
Time: 8:16 AM
Railroad: Union Pacific

Pete: *In his office* Why, are we back here? Go follow Stylo, I know what he's doing.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: I wish him good luck too.

Song: link

Two days later at a bar

Stylo: *Drunk, resting his head on the counter in front of him* Oh fuck!!!
Pony 85: *Arrives* Hey.
Stylo: *Picks up his head, and looks at the pony to his right*
Pony 85: I've heard of you.
Stylo: I'm sure you have, now if you don't mind, I'm trying to have a hangover.
Audience: *Laughing*
Pony 85: Somepony named Pierce Hawkins told me about you....
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Round 17 is beginning

Rainbow Dash: Okay, here's what we're going to do. *Loses connection*

Rainbow Dash has left the game

Pinkie Pie: I like that idea. Let's do nothing.
Twilight: She rost connection. It's up to us.
Pinkie Pie: Right you are Twilight. Let's go use the teleporter.

As they were running, twelve zombies started to chase them.

Twilight: *Throws a monkey*
Monkey: That tickles. *Lands between the horde of zombies*
Zombies: *Staying around the monkey*
Monkey: *Kills the zombies* Better luck next time zombies.
Twilight: You give me great honor.
Pinkie Pie: *Turns on the teleporter, and plants...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
"They said to colonise the orther world. Noone knew it would end with millions of dead. Officials say that they can be heated as new generation of PCS come out under new name : Valkyries. These one are bigger, in size of typical Ponyville building and are created on look of human. Ponies enlist to army to take on monsters on orther side of gate, where -60 C cold wildness meet them."

Dan - You will not fall back from battlefield!


SomeoneButNoone presents.

Dan - Squadron V-2 are present :

The newest project.

Dan - V-1.1 Captain-Liberator Void V-1.2 Second Lieutenant Snowflake.

And the main project...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Round 8 is beginning

Rainbow Dash: *Sees a green light on the map* The mystery box is on the bottom left portion of this map.
Applejack: What are we waitin' for? Let's buy some guns.

Lead by Rainbow Dash, the ponies ran up the aisle, heading towards the room they started in, and turned right, to buy the next room.

Pinkie Pie: Okay, time for one of you to buy the door now.
Applejack: No Pinkie, you do it. You have enough points to buy both this door, and a gun from the mystery box.
Pinkie Pie: Do not argue with your leader, and buy the door! One of you!
Rainbow Dash: I'll be the mature pony, and buy...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
>>>rebooting system
...
...
...
>>>>Error<<<<<

------
Equestrian Labs.
00:05
---
Steven - *reads papers* Mhm... I see... Alright *drops paper* Alright... Dan left you unfinished. Time to polish you.

---
1 hour later*
---
Steven - OK
Scientist #1 - *gives half mechanic heart to Steven*
Steven - *puts heart inside* You will feel great... And be allowed to use over-trance.
Scientist #2 - We are ready for additional repairments.
Steven - Splendid! Let's start right away!

--
4 hours later
--
Void - *wakes up* where.. I am?
Steven - Welcome! You were dead for one year.
Void - Dead......
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Joel - You guys know there is way to clear my account. Pilot!
Pilot - Aye?
Joel - To FBI HQ!
Pilot - Yes sir.
Joel - *wears Kevlar* Those prison clothes are uncomfortable.
Steven - What's the plan?
Damien - Yeah...
Joel - Arson. We burn the hall and take server with my data and break it.
Damien - Sounds easy.
Joel - Oi... Nothing is easy...


---
After action - safehouse
---
Joel - Woo good to be free.
Damien - You talk like you were there for ages but it wasn't even 12 hours.
Steven - Heh...
Joel - Give me a break..

Dimitri - Good job boys. Your debts were paid... Good luck in your life!
FI - Well guys first...
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