One morning, a police pony was riding a motorcycle down a street. He stopped, got off his bike, and walked up a small hill near somepony's house.

Police Pony: *Hiding behind bush*
Teenage Ponies: *Playing in pool*
Police Pony: *Setting up sub machine gun*
Teenage Mare: Hey, I just got my hooficure.
Teenage Stallion: Come in the pool with us.
Teenage Mare: Okay! *Jumps in pool*
Police Pony: *Finishes setting up sub machine gun*
Teenage Mare: *Comes out of water* Oh yeah!! It's great! But you know what else is great?
Teenage Ponies: What?
Teenage Mare: My ass.
Police Pony: *Throws smoke grenade at pool*
Teenage Ponies: Whoa. Where did that come from?
Police Pony: *Shooting teenage ponies*
Teenage Ponies: AAHH! *Die*
Teenage Stallion: *Running toward a door*
Police Pony: *Shoots teenage stallion*
Teenage Mare: *Running behind house*
Police Pony: *Shoots teenage mare until she dies*

Everypony was dead, and the police pony walked away.

Two hours later, it ended up on the news.

News Pony: *Flying news helicopter*
Camera Pony: *In helicopter filming*
News Pony that isn't in a helicopter: Do you think this was some kind of a gang attack?
Lieutenant Briggs: I have no comment.
News Pony: Why would somepony attack a group of teenagers?
Lieutenant Briggs: No comment.
News Pony: Officer, what about all the killings last year, are you going to make a comment on that?
Lieutenant Briggs: I have nothing to say at the time.
News Pony: Well how about-
Lieutenant Briggs: Look. This solution will be solved. This town belongs to everypony. If there is a murderer out there, we will find him.

Harry was watching the news at a friend's house. Her name was Carol, and she had three little ponies. Their names were Jack, Nicholas, and Theresa.

Harry: *Turns off TV*
Carol: *Walking to kitchen*
Carol's little ponies: *Chasing each other*
Carol: Okay kids, time to say goodnight to Harry.
Little Ponies: Aw, do we have to go to bed?
Carol: Yes!
Theresa: *Hugging Harry* Good night Harry.
Harry: Good night sweetheart.
Jack: *Shaking Harry's hoof* Good night Harry.
Harry: Good night Jack.
Nicholas: *Jumps onto Harry, and hugs him* Good night!
Harry: Good night.
Carol: Okay, go to bed.
Nicholas: *Runs to bed room*
Carol: *Sighs, and sits next to Harry*
Harry: They're good ponies.
Carol: Yeah, but sometimes they just don't know when to do what they're told.
Harry: Yeah. I heard you, and Charlie aren't married anymore.
Carol: Good riddance if you ask me.
Harry: I guess that means I can have more of that meatloaf you always make. It's delicious.
Carol: *Smiles*
Harry: Do you know where Charlie is living now?
Carol: I don't know, and I don't care.
Harry: What did he do to make you angry?
Carol: He went to our neighbor, and challenged him to a Mexican standoff.
Harry: Really?
Carol: *Shakes head yes* He had his gun loaded, and everything. Now what would you tell your children if your wife was trying to kill somepony just for fun?
Harry: I have no idea. What did you tell your kids?
Carol: I told them that he had some kind of an illness. Can I ask you another question?
Harry: Sure.
Carol: This could be personal.
Harry: Go ahead. We've been friends for a long time.
Carol: How come after all these years, you haven't tried to make a move on me?
Harry: What are you talking about?
Carol: You didn't try to ask me out, or anything.

Suddenly, the phone rang.

Carol: *Picks up phone* Hello?... It's for you.
Harry: *Takes phone* Yeah?
Joe: Harry, we need your help down at the general store.
Harry: I'll be right there. *Hangs up* I have to go.
Carol: Okay. See you later.

The sound of broken glass could be heard from upstairs.

Carol: Holy shit! With all those kids, do you think I'll ever get laid? *Goes upstairs* What's going on up there?!

Harry wasn't sure why Carol said that, but he left the house, and went to the general store.

2 b continued