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While Burt was with Emily, Bob got another patient in his office. It was a pony dressed as a clown.

Bob: So, what exactly can I help you with?
Clown: I'm always tired of everypony making fun of me.
Bob: What do you mean by that?
Clown: Everypony keeps laughing at me!
Bob: That's the problem?
Clown: Yes!
Bob: Did you ever think about why they're laughing at you?
Clown: No, that's why I came to see you.
Bob: Did you ever realize that the reason they laugh at you is because of what you do?
Clown: What are you talking about?
Bob: They way you dress, what you do for a living, and some of the things that you do.
Clown: Are you suggesting that they should laugh at me.
Bob: You're a clown. They're supposed to laugh at you.
Clown: Oh, I thought they were supposed to be scared of me.
Bob: I'm sure there's a few ponies that are scared of clowns.
Clown: Okay, thank you Mr. Newhart. *Leaves office*
Jerry: *Walks into office* What was that all about?
Bob: Somepony confused about what he wanted to do in his life. What's up?
Jerry: I got this patient that thinks I tried hurting him on purpose.
Bob: Why does he think that?
Jerry: This pony is like 12 years old, and still has a few baby teeth. I was trying to pull one of them out, but my hoof slipped, and it hit that colt in the face.
Bob: I'll be there soon. *Gets on phone* Carol.
Carol: Yes?
Bob: Jerry needs my help with something. I'll be out of my office for a few minutes.
Carol: Okay.
Bob: Let's go.

Jerry took Bob into his office.

Jerry: *Sees colt in chair* Alright kid, here's a friend of mine I'd like you to meet, his name is Bob, and he's a therapist.
Bob: Hello.
12 year old: Hi.
Bob: So, Jerry says that you think he hit you on purpose.
12 year old: He did!
Bob: Well, to tell you the truth, he didn't.
12 year old: What are you talking about?!
Bob: You know how sometimes, when somepony tried to carry, or pull something heavy, their hooves slip.
12 year old: Oh, I see now. So his hoof slipped, and hit my face when he tried pulling my tooth out.
Bob & Jerry: Yes.
12 year old: Okay. Well, I'm ready to have my baby tooth pulled out.
Jerry: Alright. Back to work. *Grabs medical tools*
Bob: Alright, you two have fun. I'm going back to my office. *Walks back to office*
Carol: Bob, do you want anything to drink?
Bob: How about a water, instead of coffee today?
Carol: Coming right up Bob.
Howard: *Walks into office* Hey Bob.
Bob: Howard, what are you doing here?
Howard: I got a vacation from work, and I decided to come see you before going to Manehattan.
Bob: What can I do to help you?
Howard: I think I'm obsessed with food.
Bob: That's not a surprise.
Carol: *Arrives with drink*
Bob: Thank you Carol. *Takes drink*
Carol: You're welcome. Call me if you need anything else.
Howard: You don't understand, I think I eat too much.
Bob: Then stop eating. You don't need to come see me for this.
Howard: But I do. You're intelligent, and you know how to solve everypony's problems.
Bob: I think I knew that.
Howard: Okay. I'm going to Manehattan now. I'll see you when I get back.
Bob: I'm looking forward to it.

2 B continued
Spike: [sighs] You know the worst thing about you being the Princess of Friendship? The dishes.
Twilight: Thanks for taking care of that, Spike. After three events in one week, I really needed to relax with a good book.
Spike: It's kinda funny, isn't it? All these ponies comin' to you for advice about friendship?
Twilight: What's funny about that?
Spike: You know, 'cause you used to be famous for being such a bad friend.
Twilight: What are you talking about? I had good friends in Canterlot.
Spike: Come on, Twilight. Look at the wall. D'ya see any photos from before we moved to Ponyville? And look...
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Saten: Well, I should get goin-
Twi: Saten, wait.. You know how we put you as part of our group now?
Saten: What about it?
Pinkie: We need you your help., Something's coming.
Saten: (groans) What is it THIS time?

------------------------------------------------------------

Octavia: Why are Saten and the girls huddled up like that? Do we know what they're on about?
Apple Bloom: The way they're huddled up like that, I'd say it's either a friendship problem or a monster attack.
Octavia: (naively believing her) A monster attack?! Blast! I'm performing at the ceremony this afternoon, and I still haven't...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: March 4, 1960
Location: Cheyenne Wyoming
Time: 10:40 AM
Railroad: Union Pacific

Percy: *Goes to Pete's office, and knocks on the door* Sir? May I come in?
Putnam: Who's that? You called the cops on us!!
Pete: I didn't even lay a hoof on the phone.
Amanda: You could have called them before our arrival.
Pete: You came here unexpected.
Percy: *Knocks on the door* Pete, is everything okay?!
Putnam: How does he know your name?
Pete: That's Percy. He worked for me for over ten years, and still does a good job fixing track, and trains in case you were wondering.
Amanda: Did you take our advice...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, joyreactor, deviantart
It was time for Big Mac's trail.
And he insisted constantly on his innocence, but the blood over his hooves and crazy look his his eye spoke for itself.
Big Mac: (wearing a cast over his broken arm) It wasn't my idea. It was HER's (reveals Twilight's smarty pants doll to the crowd). She told me to kill them!
Judge: Really!?.. You realize your talking about an toy doll, right?
Big Mac: Hey.. We ALL find love in different fashions. And smarty pants will ALWAYS love me.
Ditto: You got a lot of problems, don't you?

After Big Mac was voted guilty, Ditto violently throws Big Mac into a prison cell.
Ditto: These people are too soft., if it were up to me, your be shot in the face. Or hung to death..
Big Mac: Yeah. Fuck you too!
Ditto: (prepares fist)
Luna: (gently pulls him back) Leave it Ditto.. It's not like the creep is going anywhere.
Ditto: (sighs) Guess your right.

TO BE CONTAINUED
Meanwhile.
Ditto and his group continued searching for Big Mac.
At one point he ran into Tom Foolery.
Tom: Hey. Hey. It's the famish guy.
Ditto: Yeah.. I guess it is.
Tom: Aren't you the chief of police.
Ditto: Uh huh.
Tom: What brings you here?.. All out of donuts in Canterlot.
Audience: *laughs*
Ditto: ............ What the hell was that!?
Tom: Sorry. I can't get rid of them.
Ditto: Ahh.. Celestia was complain about the same thing yesterday., she ordered me to scare them off., It took less effect then you might think it would.
Audience: (laughs)
Tom: Anyway. What do you want.. Sir?
Ditto: Well.... I'm...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme song >>>> link

SeanTheHedgehog Presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring the Union Pacific ponies

Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Stylo From Jimmythedragon

NocturnalMirage from NochurnalMirage

Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, Ike, Nicole, Mike, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog

Also starring the Southern Pacific ponies.

Nikki West From Jade_23

Michael, Roger, Anthony, Ryan, Duke, and Donut from Seanthehedgehog

Special guest star Stephanie from SeanTheHedgehog

Episode 76: Foul Ball
Date: August 11, 1958
Location:...
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posted by BlackPetals
Boo. I've come back from the grave to write more random things. Seriously, this time. I believe I've improved as a writer, after several stories a few dozen poems and about ten writing classes. So, let's see how this goes.

A slender but sturdy orange mare bucked her hind legs, her hooves thumping into a tree. Apples fell like rain, overflowing the buckets and coaxing a smile. A few feet away, a canary-coated mare flinched, letting out a squeak. "It- it's very l-loud..." She mumbled, cheeks pink. The orange mate laughed. "Of course it is, Fluttershy. All hard work produces noise." The mare's...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
We are introduced to one of the police ponies in this fanfiction. Master Sword. He was a corporal, and wanted to be promoted, but the only way to do that was to make thirty arrests. He only needed one more.

Master Sword: Hmm, what have we here? *Sees a mare standing by a car*
Night Frizz: *Putting air into one of the tires for her car*
Master Sword: *Puts on sirens*
Night Frizz: What did I do?
Master Sword: *Talking into loudspeaker* Ma'am, you have parked too close to a fire hydrant.
Night Frizz: But I'm no where near the fire hydrant.
Master Sword: The law says you have to park ten hooves, or...
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor, deviantart
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor, deviantart
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joycreator
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Bob found Burt at the bar. He was drinking some alcohol.

Bob: Burt, may I talk to you?
Burt: Oh, sure thing Bob. What would you like to talk about?
Bob: I heard from your wife that you threatened to beat her up if you saw her again.
Burt: Yes I did. Have you seen her?
Bob: No.
Burt: Oh well. Why don't you have some drinks with me? You'll love it.
Bob: How many did you have?
Burt: Oh, about six so far.
Waiter: *Arrives* Would you like another drink?
Burt: Yes, and get one for me friend too.
Bob: Right. I want one too.
Waiter: Coming up. *Goes to get drink*
Bob: So anyway, why would you want to beat...
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Pinkie Pie:Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash:Yes,master!
Trixie:You idiot pony,go and get another of those that you call"pony friends"
Rainbow Dash:Yes,master.*leaves*

Twilight:We must stay together.
Apple Jack:You're damn right.If we leave eachother,Trixie will get us all.
Rainbow Dash:Like to see me here?
Twilight:Rainbow,why are you so...um..grey?
Rainbow Dash:You don't need to know.And I am here to take,Apple Jack.
Twilight:No,if I stop you.
Rainbow Dash:Nothing can stop me now!*takes Apple Jack*
Apple Jack:Save your self's.
Rarity:Oh,no,they take'd Apple Jack.
Flutter Shy:Twilight,I am scared.
Twilight:Don't...
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posted by shadowknuxgirl
Queen of Changelings: This day is going to be perfect, the kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small, everypony will gather round, say I look lovely in my gown, what they don't know is that I have fooled them all!

Princess Cadence: This day was going to be perfect, the kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small, but instead of having cake, with all my friends to celebrate, my wedding bells, they may not ring for me at all!

Queen of Changelings: I could care less about the dress, I won't partake in any cake! Vows? Well, I'll be lying when I say, that through any kind of weather,...
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