The Story of Corporal Agarn

Theme song

Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn

Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Cosmic Rainbow as Corporal Vanderbilt
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Sean as Chief Wild Eagle
and Sonic as Crazy Cat

Special guest stars Nikki West as Nikki East, and Larry Wilcox as Nicholas McWalker

Corporal Vanderbilt was handing everypony letters. Everypony was standing in formation.

Corporal Vanderbilt: *Gives Corporal Dobbs a letter* Here you are Duffy.
Corporal Dobbs: I ain't Duffy.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: Sorry Sarge.
Corporal Dobbs: I ain't O' Rourke either.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Gives Corporal Agarn a letter* Here you go Dobbs.
Corporal Agarn: I'm Agarn Vanderbilt! You already gave Dobbs his letter!
Corporal Dobbs: *Reads his letter* Oh no.
Corporal Agarn: Must be terrible news.
Corporal Dobbs: They won't be able to repair my bugle until next week!
Corporal Agarn: I take it back. It's not bad.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: *Reads his letter* Dear Randolph. You spend too much time in the army. If you don't get discharged soon, I will divorce you. Nikki East. My wife wants to divorce me!
Captain Parmenter: *Arrives* What's wrong Agarn?
Corporal Agarn: My wife wants to divorce me unless I'm discharged.
Captain Parmenter: You must be really upset about this.
Corporal Agarn: I'm not. I'm angry! I want to go-
Captain Parmenter: Please don't say it.
Corporal Agarn: On...
Captain Parmenter: Okay, you're not gonna listen to me. Never mind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: A... *Causes an explosion behind him* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*

He went with Sargent O' Rourke to Nikki's house.

Nikki: Randolph! *Runs to Corporal Agarn, and kisses him* Did you get discharged?
Corporal Agarn: Not yet.
Nikki: Well why not?
Corporal Agarn: It's much more complicated then you think it is.
Nicholas: *Arrives* Darling, who is this?
Nikki: This is my husband, Randolph.
Corporal Agarn: *Points at Nicholas* And who are you, might I ask?!
Nicholas: A friend. Nicholas McWalker.
Sargent O' Rourke: Hey. Are you Irish just like me?
Nicholas: Yes. It should be obvious by the mc in my last name.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: If you don't get discharged, I'll divorce you, and marry Nicholas.
Corporal Agarn: But honey, it takes a long time to get discharged. I'm not in control of it. If I was, that would be great, because I really don't wanna deal with Dobbs, and his bugle.
Sargent O' Rourke: It was damaged. Remember?
Corporal Agarn: Oh yeah. I was too busy being angry to remember.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: The point is, Corporal Agarn loves you just as much as you love him. You shouldn't let his career get in the way of your love. Just because he's far away, doesn't mean he doesn't wanna spend time with you.
Corporal Agarn: But we weren't far away. We just had to walk for half a minute.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: I had to make it sound romantic.
Corporal Agarn: Being far away does not make anything romantic.
Audience: *Laughing*
Nikki: *Has a tear come out of her eye* Very touching. Randolph, your Sargent is right. I won't divorce you to marry Nicholas.
Corporal Agarn: Oh, good.
Nikki: Instead, I'll divorce you to marry Sargent O' Rourke!
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Sargent! I thought we were working together on this!
Sargent O' Rourke: Sorry. I did everything I could.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the bugle poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning you Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*

Up next, it's The Movie Studio