Tom Foolery was now going to talk about dogs.
Tom: I love dat dog. I never met him before, but I know I love 'im.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: He's gonna be wonderful when I meet dat dog. *Sticks his tongue out, and pants like a dog*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Lots of ponies have lots of doggies. And you don't even need to have a dog to know about 'em. Your friend could have a dog. He can be your friend's dog. That makes him your dog friend.
Crowd: *Chuckling*
Tom: You go there to visit, and the dogs there, you go to pet him, and say Hi hello. How are you? You're wonderful Sneezy, and for that moment, he's your dog. So you can have somepony else's dog, you go like Hi, wow look at this dog, he likes me. Look at this doggy here.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Lots of things to know about them too. Lots of things you'll learn. You don't know where always, and you can't remember. For instance, can you remember that by scratching near the front leg, you can make one of the back legs move in a circle? *Moves one of his back legs like he's trying to scratch himself*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And you can also make it stop! When you stop.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Looks surprised* God damn! I'm in complete control of this dog.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You can also make their head tilt from across the room just by making a funny noise. You sound like a deflated tire, and the dog goes. *Tilts his head* Whuuutt?!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Oh look honey isn't he CUUUUUUUTE?!?!?!?!? Let's get his head fixed so it stays like that!!!
Crowd: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: Do you ever spell in front of your dog?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Some of them are smart. You gotta spell. Honey do we have anymore..B-O-N-E-S? They know the sound of B alone. *Bouncing around the stage* Oh the bone, oh the bone. I can't wait for the bone.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Take it easy, take it easy. Then sooner or later, what's gonna happen with the little dog? Sooner or later, lying around the bed he's gonna create an incident. He's gonna make one of you turn around, and say, phew.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Sniffs the air, then waves his left front arm around while closing his eyes*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Cindy did you fart? *Makes a farting noise while impersonating a mare* Now I did. *Makes another farting noise*
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: Now I did! *Goes back to his normal voice* Okay, okay, so it wasn't you. And it wasn't me. I know! The dog farted!! Timmy, why did you fart?!?!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Look at him, he knows he farted!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I've seen his ass open up!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I happened to be looking by chance. But you see, dogs have nothing to do. There's no job description for a dog. They're forced to wait, for something to happen, that they can get in on. If you do something, they'll be glad to join you.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They'll rarely initiate any activity on their own. They're just waiting. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting.
A few crowd members laughed while Tom continued to speak.
Tom: Waiting to get in, waiting to get out. Waiting to eat, waiting to crap, waiting to wake up, waiting to sleep, waiting to go upstairs, waiting to go downstairs. Sometimes they're just waiting to wait.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You ever see a dog just standing there? *Sticks his tongue out while looking at the ceiling*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: He don't know what he's waiting for! But if it happens, he'll be ready.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Just waiting, and waiting.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Waiting for you to come home. They don't understand time. Dogs don't know the different between an hour and a half, and next week.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: He thinks you're gonna be gone foreva!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's the only time period dogs really understand. Foreva!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's how long they think everything lasts. That's how long they think everything takes!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Foreva, and eva!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You ever scratch your dog behind it's ears? They love that, they're like oh I love it. You're scratching your dog behind it's ears, and they're loving every second of it. Then when you finally stop! They're like...
Tom looked up at the ceiling, which caused more laughter from his audience.
Tom: They look at you like you're a criminal.
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: He thought it was gonna go on, and on. Same thing when you feed 'em as soon as they're finished, they're like, Hey where the fuck's THE FOOD?!?!?!
Crowd: *Laughing, cheering, and clapping*
Tom: They thought it was gonna last foreva. They must think we're gonna be gone forever, because why would they act the way they do when we finally get home? *Bouncing quickly* Oh boy oh boy!! Oh boy oh boy!! Oh boy!! Oh boy!! Oh boy oh boy!! Oh boy oh boy!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I thought you were never gonna get home! I waited and waited. I thought you were never gonna get home! I didn't know what to do! I didn't know how to operate the can opener!
Crowd: *Laughing, and whistling*
Tom: I didn't know what to do! Oh! *Pants like a dog*
A stallion could be seen closing his eyes while laughing with the other audience members. Others clapped.
Tom: Sometimes you'll forget your hat. Then you go back after 8 seconds. *Bouncing quickly* Oh boy oh boy!! Oh boy you're home!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I tried chasing a bird! I couldn't find the bird! I mean where the fuck's the bird?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Will you stop that?! I was just HERE!!!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: Dog don't care. He'll do whatever's next. He don't know what's next, but he'll do something. They'll do two things in a row that don't go together.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You ever see a dog walking in a room, and then it stops to chew it's back for 18 minutes?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And then when he's finished chewing, as if it were scheduled for right then of course.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And then when he's finished he doesn't even remember where he was gonna go!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Where's he gonna go?! *Walks to the left*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Oh shit, oh, I think I'm gonna go over here!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Oh, this is nice over here.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I think I'll keep coming over here.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Then they give you that doggy look.
Tom stuck his tongue out once again to impersonate a dog which resulted in more laughter.
Tom: Give you them eyes, you know they have such...a great expression, sometimes they even look like us ponies.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They say, oh look, he looks almost like you Paul.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They look like they know something about your mother!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And not willing to mention it right away.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: There's that look where they look like they have something they can't quite solve. There's a sad look in their eyes. All the sadness in the world, is right in the eyes of a dog.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Look straight into your dog's eyes, and think of something very sad. And it looks like it's happening to your dog.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Strangest thing, they look at you like that. *Gives the audience a sad face*
Crowd: *Laughing*
In the next part, Tom will discuss cats.
2 B Continued
Tom: I love dat dog. I never met him before, but I know I love 'im.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: He's gonna be wonderful when I meet dat dog. *Sticks his tongue out, and pants like a dog*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Lots of ponies have lots of doggies. And you don't even need to have a dog to know about 'em. Your friend could have a dog. He can be your friend's dog. That makes him your dog friend.
Crowd: *Chuckling*
Tom: You go there to visit, and the dogs there, you go to pet him, and say Hi hello. How are you? You're wonderful Sneezy, and for that moment, he's your dog. So you can have somepony else's dog, you go like Hi, wow look at this dog, he likes me. Look at this doggy here.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Lots of things to know about them too. Lots of things you'll learn. You don't know where always, and you can't remember. For instance, can you remember that by scratching near the front leg, you can make one of the back legs move in a circle? *Moves one of his back legs like he's trying to scratch himself*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And you can also make it stop! When you stop.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Looks surprised* God damn! I'm in complete control of this dog.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You can also make their head tilt from across the room just by making a funny noise. You sound like a deflated tire, and the dog goes. *Tilts his head* Whuuutt?!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Oh look honey isn't he CUUUUUUUTE?!?!?!?!? Let's get his head fixed so it stays like that!!!
Crowd: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: Do you ever spell in front of your dog?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Some of them are smart. You gotta spell. Honey do we have anymore..B-O-N-E-S? They know the sound of B alone. *Bouncing around the stage* Oh the bone, oh the bone. I can't wait for the bone.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Take it easy, take it easy. Then sooner or later, what's gonna happen with the little dog? Sooner or later, lying around the bed he's gonna create an incident. He's gonna make one of you turn around, and say, phew.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Sniffs the air, then waves his left front arm around while closing his eyes*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Cindy did you fart? *Makes a farting noise while impersonating a mare* Now I did. *Makes another farting noise*
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: Now I did! *Goes back to his normal voice* Okay, okay, so it wasn't you. And it wasn't me. I know! The dog farted!! Timmy, why did you fart?!?!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Look at him, he knows he farted!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I've seen his ass open up!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I happened to be looking by chance. But you see, dogs have nothing to do. There's no job description for a dog. They're forced to wait, for something to happen, that they can get in on. If you do something, they'll be glad to join you.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They'll rarely initiate any activity on their own. They're just waiting. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting.
A few crowd members laughed while Tom continued to speak.
Tom: Waiting to get in, waiting to get out. Waiting to eat, waiting to crap, waiting to wake up, waiting to sleep, waiting to go upstairs, waiting to go downstairs. Sometimes they're just waiting to wait.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You ever see a dog just standing there? *Sticks his tongue out while looking at the ceiling*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: He don't know what he's waiting for! But if it happens, he'll be ready.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Just waiting, and waiting.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Waiting for you to come home. They don't understand time. Dogs don't know the different between an hour and a half, and next week.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: He thinks you're gonna be gone foreva!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's the only time period dogs really understand. Foreva!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's how long they think everything lasts. That's how long they think everything takes!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Foreva, and eva!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You ever scratch your dog behind it's ears? They love that, they're like oh I love it. You're scratching your dog behind it's ears, and they're loving every second of it. Then when you finally stop! They're like...
Tom looked up at the ceiling, which caused more laughter from his audience.
Tom: They look at you like you're a criminal.
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: He thought it was gonna go on, and on. Same thing when you feed 'em as soon as they're finished, they're like, Hey where the fuck's THE FOOD?!?!?!
Crowd: *Laughing, cheering, and clapping*
Tom: They thought it was gonna last foreva. They must think we're gonna be gone forever, because why would they act the way they do when we finally get home? *Bouncing quickly* Oh boy oh boy!! Oh boy oh boy!! Oh boy!! Oh boy!! Oh boy oh boy!! Oh boy oh boy!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I thought you were never gonna get home! I waited and waited. I thought you were never gonna get home! I didn't know what to do! I didn't know how to operate the can opener!
Crowd: *Laughing, and whistling*
Tom: I didn't know what to do! Oh! *Pants like a dog*
A stallion could be seen closing his eyes while laughing with the other audience members. Others clapped.
Tom: Sometimes you'll forget your hat. Then you go back after 8 seconds. *Bouncing quickly* Oh boy oh boy!! Oh boy you're home!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I tried chasing a bird! I couldn't find the bird! I mean where the fuck's the bird?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Will you stop that?! I was just HERE!!!!!!
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: Dog don't care. He'll do whatever's next. He don't know what's next, but he'll do something. They'll do two things in a row that don't go together.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You ever see a dog walking in a room, and then it stops to chew it's back for 18 minutes?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And then when he's finished chewing, as if it were scheduled for right then of course.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And then when he's finished he doesn't even remember where he was gonna go!!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Where's he gonna go?! *Walks to the left*
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Oh shit, oh, I think I'm gonna go over here!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Oh, this is nice over here.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: I think I'll keep coming over here.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Then they give you that doggy look.
Tom stuck his tongue out once again to impersonate a dog which resulted in more laughter.
Tom: Give you them eyes, you know they have such...a great expression, sometimes they even look like us ponies.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They say, oh look, he looks almost like you Paul.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They look like they know something about your mother!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And not willing to mention it right away.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: There's that look where they look like they have something they can't quite solve. There's a sad look in their eyes. All the sadness in the world, is right in the eyes of a dog.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Look straight into your dog's eyes, and think of something very sad. And it looks like it's happening to your dog.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Strangest thing, they look at you like that. *Gives the audience a sad face*
Crowd: *Laughing*
In the next part, Tom will discuss cats.
2 B Continued
so here are a few theories i got for this show:
Theory #1: since Hasbro and DHX never even bothered to give Cozy Glow any semblance of a backstory, my theory is that she's actually a fully-grown adult pony stuck inside a filly's body. she was born with a condition that never let her physically age after filly-hood.
Theory #2: while we do know Sunset used to be Celestia's top student, i always thought there was something more to it than just a teacher-student relationship. and since we never get to see if Sunset had parents at some point in time, my theory is that she's Celestia's adopted daughter. remember how worried Celestia was about Sunset at the end of the first EqG movie? yeah, something tells me they're more than just teacher and ex-student.
Theory #3: at one point in time, King Sombra used to be a great and loved king, before he became corrupted by his desire for power that forced Celestia and Luna to banish him into the abyss.
Theory #1: since Hasbro and DHX never even bothered to give Cozy Glow any semblance of a backstory, my theory is that she's actually a fully-grown adult pony stuck inside a filly's body. she was born with a condition that never let her physically age after filly-hood.
Theory #2: while we do know Sunset used to be Celestia's top student, i always thought there was something more to it than just a teacher-student relationship. and since we never get to see if Sunset had parents at some point in time, my theory is that she's Celestia's adopted daughter. remember how worried Celestia was about Sunset at the end of the first EqG movie? yeah, something tells me they're more than just teacher and ex-student.
Theory #3: at one point in time, King Sombra used to be a great and loved king, before he became corrupted by his desire for power that forced Celestia and Luna to banish him into the abyss.