Kowalski: I took advantage of the food I could find under the table, and the gum made an excellent bonding material to hold it together. (proudly shows Skipper two penguin dummies made out of gross taco meat and other stuff, and disgusting pieces of chewed gum.)
Skipper: Outstanding! These will buy us a few precious moments.
The monster meat taco is moving around across the floor, looking around for the two penguin runaways. It is nearing their table. They quickly dive back under the tablecloth before they could be seen. Next Kowalski makes a working sling shot using the excess gum for a stretcher. Ewww....
Kowalksi: Now to put the dummies on the launch pad. Done. Now if I aim the trajectory twenty-eight degrees north I should be able to shoot these to the other side of the Gringo. That should distract the taco long enough for you to corkscrew it back to the um...killer kitchen it came from.
The two penguins engage in high-fiving to celebrate their flawless plan.
Skipper: Comence Operation Taco. Move man, move!
The gum is stretched back and when Kowalski releases it the two dummies go flying, and they are high flying. Uh oh. Skipper and Kowalski gasp with horror when they hit a table in the way and plummet downward instead of flying to the other side of the foodstand. Their french fry mouths remained smiling even when they endured severe crash landing. The taco rushes over to devour them, but that only puts a tobaggin-slide between the Mexican Menace and the two surviving penguins. They will never make it now!
Skipper: Kowalski!
Kowalski: Oops. I aimed the trajectory two degrees lower than the given requirement. AH!
Kowalksi is swiped out from under the table. Skipper leaps forward but is too late and looks out. Kowalski is gone and all that is left is the taco.
Skipper: Noooo! Oh why? Mo-mmy! They are all gone! (Skipper makes a hasty retreat back into the nearest escape, the bathroom and dives in the nearest toilet. But it is clogged with something.)
Skipper: Oh no! dead bodies? Is this what it has come to? Burying the mauled bodies in toilet water in the mens' room? The irony!
Rico: Buttons!
Skipper: Rico, is that you? Are you here to how me the light?
Private: Skipper, you are alive! Kowalski said you were a sure-fire goner.
Skipper: I ain't no goner. You mean Kowalski is here too? I thought you all got eaten.
Rico: Nuh uh.
Private: That wasn't me. That was cousin Nigel.
Kowalski: I started talking and the taco quickly put me down and I ran here.
Skipper: That's it, men! I know how we are going to take down this grusome gringo! We are going to use the scientific method.
Private: But how-
Skipper: Bottom line. Knowledge is the taco's weakness! Meaning, if we bore it out with Kowalski's endless math fact crap then we can defeat it! Kowalski, you are going to teach that taco how to be a nerd!
Kowalski: I am not a nerd. I'm cool! Um...yo, dude. As in yo I am down with that.
Private: Yeah you kind of are.
Skipper: Focus. Skipper's blog: We are sitting in a toilet, there is a mutant taco trying to do away with us, and this bathroom is still out of air freshener and we are abotu to do or die. It is up to Kowalski's nerdiness to save us now.
Kowalski: Gnarley. (starts rapping) mx+b and a pythagoreon theorum and-
Skipper: Let's move!
The penguins abandon the toilet base and tobaggin into hiding while they leave Kowalski out there alone. The taco sees a tasty penguin and picks up Kowalski.
Private: Do what you were born to do, Kowalski!
Kowalski: Now when you take the square root of a dividend on both sides of an algebraic equation, you will get two common factors in which you replace the answers with the variable sin the given equation...
(30 seconds later)
Kowalski: And finally, you can use the greatest common factor to simplify the common terms in the equation...
It worked! The taco shrinks with every boring word and soon shrinks down to the size of a grape.
Skipper: God job! Mission accomplished!
Kowalski: The taco has decreased in size. I mean, it is tiny, yo. Um...keep it tight, right?
Rico(annoyed): Ugh...
Skipper: Just keep tucking your calculator to bed at night, Kowalski.
Private: So, what's for lunch?
