Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a password other than "password" or "hello".
I will not tell the same story at every get together.
I won't worry so much.
I will cut my hair.
I will grow my hair.
I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!
I will be more imaginative.
I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.
I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.
I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly....
I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
I will balance my checkbook. (on my nose).
I will find out why the correspondence course on "Mail Fraud" that I purchased never showed up.
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.
Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.
I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars.
Really Funny New Year Resolutions for 2010
I will be more imaginative.
I will not wet the bed and blame it on my younger brother.
I promise to clean my room once a week even though I haven't cleaned it more than once in the last year.
I will always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
I will always "check for paper" before and after leaving a public restroom.
I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
I will always wear clean underwear, "just in case".
I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars.
Never again will I try to diffuse an explosive device with a known practical joker.
Read less books. A little learning is a dangerous thing. Too much of it can really wreck your head.
Gain weight, at least 40 pounds. Didn't your mom always say you were bit skinny.
Cut down on exercise. Too much is bad for your health, it can even kill you.
Watch more TV. It's very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years.
Draw up a list of people who were nasty to you in the past year, get your own back on them in the next year!
Drink more. Wasn't it Benjamin Franklin who said, beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. So be happy.
Eat more nice things like candy, Big Macs, popcorn and ice cream. Eat less crap like fresh fruit, vegetables and soy nuts.
Work less. Take it easy. All work and no play can make you a dull boy or girl.
Play more computer games. Scientists say they're good for you and improve your visual skills. But you always knew that.
Take up some worthwhile new habit, like smoking - it helps keep tobacco workers in jobs.
I will drink less beer, last year I drank enough beer to have kept the Titanic afloat.
I will spend less money on buying useless stuff like this new DVD Rewinder I had ordered for christmas.
I will drive more carefully, people are starting to notice the dozens of dents in my car.
I will treat my girlfriend better, I won't make her carry all the groceries the next time we go to the market.
I promise to be nice to my dog. I won't starve him to death more than 10 times.... in a month.
I will no longer interfere in a game.
I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.
More Funny New Year's Resolutions for 2011
I will leave my brain at home while going to watch a supposedly scary movies like Scary Movie 1, 2, 3 & 4!
I will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I will never again eat a jack fruit before going to a public function.
I resolve to hold my breath and pull in my paunch when I cross my young secretary.
I will stop saying," Ooh, that feels nice" whenever the security guys frisk me at airports.
I resolve not to see any serial or movie in which any dead character is brought alive.
I resolve not to call any phone number of any TV contest as they are always kept off the hook.
I resolve not to swim in any swimming pool without water.
I resolve to stop poisoning my family with my cooking.
My New Year resolution is: 1024 by 968 pixels!
Learn what the hell "resolution" means.
I promise to stick to these resolutions for more than a week (even though I never do).
I will think of a password other than "password" or "hello".
I will not tell the same story at every get together.
I won't worry so much.
I will cut my hair.
I will grow my hair.
I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!
I will be more imaginative.
I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.
I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.
I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly....
I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
I resolve to work with neglected children. (my own).
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.
I will balance my checkbook. (on my nose).
I will find out why the correspondence course on "Mail Fraud" that I purchased never showed up.
Start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
Remember to brush teeth with bristly end of toothbrush.
Don't eat medicine just because it looks like candy.
Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
I will always "check for paper" when leaving the restroom.
I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars.
Really Funny New Year Resolutions for 2010
I will be more imaginative.
I will not wet the bed and blame it on my younger brother.
I promise to clean my room once a week even though I haven't cleaned it more than once in the last year.
I will always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump.
I will always "check for paper" before and after leaving a public restroom.
I will try to drive closer to the speed limit.
I will always wear clean underwear, "just in case".
I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars.
Never again will I try to diffuse an explosive device with a known practical joker.
Read less books. A little learning is a dangerous thing. Too much of it can really wreck your head.
Gain weight, at least 40 pounds. Didn't your mom always say you were bit skinny.
Cut down on exercise. Too much is bad for your health, it can even kill you.
Watch more TV. It's very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years.
Draw up a list of people who were nasty to you in the past year, get your own back on them in the next year!
Drink more. Wasn't it Benjamin Franklin who said, beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. So be happy.
Eat more nice things like candy, Big Macs, popcorn and ice cream. Eat less crap like fresh fruit, vegetables and soy nuts.
Work less. Take it easy. All work and no play can make you a dull boy or girl.
Play more computer games. Scientists say they're good for you and improve your visual skills. But you always knew that.
Take up some worthwhile new habit, like smoking - it helps keep tobacco workers in jobs.
I will drink less beer, last year I drank enough beer to have kept the Titanic afloat.
I will spend less money on buying useless stuff like this new DVD Rewinder I had ordered for christmas.
I will drive more carefully, people are starting to notice the dozens of dents in my car.
I will treat my girlfriend better, I won't make her carry all the groceries the next time we go to the market.
I promise to be nice to my dog. I won't starve him to death more than 10 times.... in a month.
I will no longer interfere in a game.
I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.
More Funny New Year's Resolutions for 2011
I will leave my brain at home while going to watch a supposedly scary movies like Scary Movie 1, 2, 3 & 4!
I will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
I will never again eat a jack fruit before going to a public function.
I resolve to hold my breath and pull in my paunch when I cross my young secretary.
I will stop saying," Ooh, that feels nice" whenever the security guys frisk me at airports.
I resolve not to see any serial or movie in which any dead character is brought alive.
I resolve not to call any phone number of any TV contest as they are always kept off the hook.
I resolve not to swim in any swimming pool without water.
I resolve to stop poisoning my family with my cooking.
My New Year resolution is: 1024 by 968 pixels!
Learn what the hell "resolution" means.
I promise to stick to these resolutions for more than a week (even though I never do).
Not a fan but she's so skinny!! I've never been skinny in my whole life and will never be.
4. Sophia Bush
She's pretty. She has boobs & a butt, but is not big.
3. Kaya Scodelario
Again with the skinniness. I don't think skinny is all there is, but for someone like me who's never been skinny, it's seems nice! She also has a unique face and her eyes are gorgeous!
2. Katie Cassidy
This girl is just so GORGEOUS!! And looks so classy when she dresses up.
1. Megan Fox
Not a fan but she has to be the DEFINITION of PERFECT! PERFECT face, PERFECT body, just PERFECT!!
Some people are just lucky I guess. <33
1.eat like 10 candys or something
2.chew lots of sugar gum
3.eat a bowl of sugar
4.listen to a song that makes u crazy
5.eat some ice cream
6.think of something crazy u want to do
7.just do nothing then if u cant take it it well make u crazy
8.go outside then do a game of base ball or swiming water and when u lose makes u go crazy
9.if ur mom tells u what to do and u dont want to do it it well make u go crazy
and finally
10.listen to a jb song then it well make u go crazy cuz u kinda hate him
LOL!
2.chew lots of sugar gum
3.eat a bowl of sugar
4.listen to a song that makes u crazy
5.eat some ice cream
6.think of something crazy u want to do
7.just do nothing then if u cant take it it well make u crazy
8.go outside then do a game of base ball or swiming water and when u lose makes u go crazy
9.if ur mom tells u what to do and u dont want to do it it well make u go crazy
and finally
10.listen to a jb song then it well make u go crazy cuz u kinda hate him
LOL!
1.Buy a kids meal, and play with the toy you get on the middle of the floor.
2.Fill a sock with pennies, and then demand all of the food using the money in the sock.
3.Run through the waiting lines.
4.Buy a burger and give it to the waiter/waitress.
5.Go up to the counter, and before the waiter/waitress can say anything, say "Welcome to McDonalds. How can I take your order?"
6.Give a burnt french fry to a random person across the room.
7.Buy something off the menu, like tacos or baked beans.
8.Go to McDonalds in your bathing suit.
9.Chew as loud as you can so everyone can hear.
10.Run inside and sing Mary Had A Little Lamb at the top of your lungs.
11.Eat another person's food when they aren't looking.
12.Have a loud conversation with your friend about random things, maybe even a fight (no punches though!)!
13.Rap your meal at the counter.
2.Fill a sock with pennies, and then demand all of the food using the money in the sock.
3.Run through the waiting lines.
4.Buy a burger and give it to the waiter/waitress.
5.Go up to the counter, and before the waiter/waitress can say anything, say "Welcome to McDonalds. How can I take your order?"
6.Give a burnt french fry to a random person across the room.
7.Buy something off the menu, like tacos or baked beans.
8.Go to McDonalds in your bathing suit.
9.Chew as loud as you can so everyone can hear.
10.Run inside and sing Mary Had A Little Lamb at the top of your lungs.
11.Eat another person's food when they aren't looking.
12.Have a loud conversation with your friend about random things, maybe even a fight (no punches though!)!
13.Rap your meal at the counter.
u wudnt know if there was bread on yer head now wud u if u ask why u wudnt know if there is bread on yer head its cuz it is floating above yer head and u cant see it if the bread is on yer head which u wudnt know at less i told u and if u wud like to get it off dont try to get it off and or eat the bread that is on yer head cuz if u do u will die and to get the bread off of yer head u must go to the bottom of a pool and ask the master of crayons to remove the bread that is on yer head so u can on living without bread on yer head.....if u servived under water that long which i rly doubt u did so wen u die the bread that was once above yer head with haunt yer grave and float above yer grave like the magic floating bread it is so if i tell u that there is bread on yer head i suggest not to do anything cuz it ont even bother u at less u try to remove it yerself only the master of crayons can so just dont do anything and go on living life with a loaf of bread on yer head
I HOPE YOU ENJOY!
dora!
boots!
come on dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
lets go!
dora dora dora the explorer!
DORA!
boots and supercool exploradora!
we need your help!
grab your backpack!
lets go!
jump in!
vamonos!
you can lead the way!
hey! hey!
do-do-dora!
do-d-dora!
swiper no swiping!
swiper no swiping! (oh man)
it;s dora the explorer!
--------------------------------------------------
dora dora
ven, ven
dora dora la exploradora
dale con el sol pequeña dora
vamos salta tu puedes niña
consulta a tu mapa
tutu dora tutu dora tutu dora
lets go
The End!
dora!
boots!
come on dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
do-do-do-do-dora!
lets go!
dora dora dora the explorer!
DORA!
boots and supercool exploradora!
we need your help!
grab your backpack!
lets go!
jump in!
vamonos!
you can lead the way!
hey! hey!
do-do-dora!
do-d-dora!
swiper no swiping!
swiper no swiping! (oh man)
it;s dora the explorer!
--------------------------------------------------
dora dora
ven, ven
dora dora la exploradora
dale con el sol pequeña dora
vamos salta tu puedes niña
consulta a tu mapa
tutu dora tutu dora tutu dora
lets go
The End!
These quotes are Quotes with differnt meanings of ferret or just the animal.
“If a ferret bites you it is nearly always your own fault.”
“To go rabbit hunting with a dead ferret"
“I'm not sure what the views are. I had a private conversation and I did get a feeling ? a feeling. Well, you can't take a feeling to the bank. So, it's up to me to try to ferret it out.”
“I can't talk to a man who bears an undeserved animosity towards ferrets.”
“You need that U.N. inspection team in there on the ground. They're the people that can find it and ferret it out,”
“We still have a lot of work to do, and we still have to work on recovering prairie dog populations so the ferrets can survive.”
The End!
“If a ferret bites you it is nearly always your own fault.”
“To go rabbit hunting with a dead ferret"
“I'm not sure what the views are. I had a private conversation and I did get a feeling ? a feeling. Well, you can't take a feeling to the bank. So, it's up to me to try to ferret it out.”
“I can't talk to a man who bears an undeserved animosity towards ferrets.”
“You need that U.N. inspection team in there on the ground. They're the people that can find it and ferret it out,”
“We still have a lot of work to do, and we still have to work on recovering prairie dog populations so the ferrets can survive.”
The End!