Random Article: he said she said

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posted by karpach_14

He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

She said...You wear briefs, don't you?

He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?

She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.

He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.

She said...Well, you have succeeded.

He said... You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man?

She said...No, have you?

He said... Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?

She said...Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.

She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

deathding, Tdinoahiscute4 and 2 others like this

E_M_LoVeRFaN ...

Bond_Of_Fury Hahah, I love how sexist both men and women can be... Makes for good laughs! :P

1

My own sad letter (Probaley sucks)

posted by Dethklokrox90

Dear Mark,

I wish I could say sorry or love you more, but I can't no more...
I can only leave you with my ring and this last letter.
I have lost myself and don't try to call me or come to me, I am dead now.
I only wish that I could come back to you and say my apologies, but I a saying that for letting me go.
Please keep this a secret and the ring, cause if you let it go, bad things could happen.
Don't even try to sell your soul to save me, please don't...
Just keep me secret from everyone, I want everyone to be calm and remember that I will always be there...
and you too Mark, I will always be there, in your heart, and in my others.
You will have your own life, everything you wanted with you.
You will have a wife, kids, a mansion, and die in your warm bed when your old, knowing that you did a good life.
Remember that ok Mark.
I love you, I love you so much...

~Reah

Leah and Pie's 12 Days of not-so Christmas

posted by Cyrusrocks

My friend, Pie-102, and I wrote this last year. It it definatly random.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, a green cabinet in a pineapple bush.
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two pinetrees and a green cabinet in a pineapple bush.
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me, three moving signs, two pinetrees and a green cabinet in a pineapple bush.
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me, four suburban trucks, tree moving signs, two pinetrees and a green cabinet in a pineapple bush
On the fifth day of Cristmas my true love...

Okay a halloween story but technically its not a scary story cause its a trues story but it is scary

posted by Free_Spirit

Me: okay i actually found this story in my local newspaer from 20 years back. And i'll put a symbol for town names. I don't want rapists or pheaodifiles coming to my town... okay lets begin. And i shall have to give some background history. Well at there was a renovation going on at $ which was between # and &, for an old mental asylum to be converted into a power house musuem. Anyway so this story takes place then. I think i'm not sure of dates.
$ was a small town, very small as in like only three -5 thousande people
ps. By the way i really wanted a long title

okay so in Australia out in...

5

Leaving {CHAPTER 3}

posted by Yama

I went into my room after being lost in thought. It was only then I felt the sea sickness. Well I was out on the deck for a little too long. Okay now I certainly knew that was a really bad idea. I went for a shower to see if the heat would shrug off the sickness. I got out of the shower feeling fresh, but also funny. I heard Emily in my room. I shouted," Emily I'll be right there!"
I heard her calling back,"Okay!". I got into my new dress for I knew dinner was soon. I may as well put it on now rather than having to do it later, i thought. I seen Emily she was dressed for dinner too. She was...

1

Brooklyn Rage Lyrics

posted by InvaderCynder

Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeeehhh
Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeeehhh
Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeeehhh
Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeeehhh
Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeeehhh

I wanna duel 'em like they do in Yu-Gi-Oh
Face down face up trap cards spell cards then time roulette go (I love it!)
All I do is just believe in the heart of the cards
And then I kick some butt when I use Swordsman of Landstar

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-ohh-oh-oh
Ain't no surprise, check out my Red Eyes
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-ohh-oh-oh
Ain't no surprise, check out my Red Eyes

Can't beat my
Can't beat my
No they can't beat my Brooklyn Rage
(I don't wanna be a furry)
Can't beat my...

57

23 random funny things to do at school .

posted by bellabrowneyes

found this stuff and i wanted to share with you guys (girls) so enjoy !! =)

1.Stare at someone and if/when they stare back at you, yell, “Staring is extremely impolite!”

2.Bring a Glad product to school and whenever someone gets mad at you, say, “Don’t get mad! Get Glad!” Then hold up the Glad product.

3.Keep talking as if you’re talking to the person next to you, and when they answer, scream, “I wasn’t talking to you! Now, Bob, where were we?”

4.When the teacher calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE!!! Oh, no, sorry."

5.Sing your questions to the class.

6.Sit in...

57

Cute Nicknames for Boyfriends - Top 20 List

posted by spunkyonyx

1. Angus is for a beefy yet cute boyfriend, or to bolster up the woefully sagging self-esteem of a weak, pasty face limb noodle who does your homework for you.

2. Babe - is a classic cute boyfriend nickname that will only get you in a slight amount of trouble in front of his friends. ( i call mine this)

3. Baby Boo Boo - is for a boyfriend that you'd like to castrate slowly by giving him effeminate names.

4. Bunny-kins - means you're cousins and will be humping like bunnies at the next family wedding.

5. Bunny Wabbit - you may as well stroke his belly with a coonskin cap and feed him grapes when...

94

333 Ways to get kicked out of Wal-mart (trust me it totally works)

posted by Dreamer4eva

I just wanna say that I didn't wright this, I just reposted it. so I take on credit AT ALL

1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person...

19

Funny as hell poems. MUST READ

posted by iluvsmj

When you're happy and you know it bomb Iraq
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.

If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
(And he tried to kill your dad),
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think someone's dismissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb...

9

Cute Emo Love Quotes

posted by invadercalliope

I am your forgotten dream,
Broken and unseen.

I hurt myself,
So I can feel alive.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love,
Love someone else in return.

Don’t say you love me unless you really mean it,
Cause I might do something crazy like believe it.

Feels like you could kiss my imperfections away,
And I would stand by your side until the sun turns the sky.

I swear to you on everything I am,
And I dedicate to you all that I have,
And I promise you that I will stand right by your side,
Forever and always, until the day I die.

I’m not crying over what you said;
It’s what you didn’t say that...

7

Funny Things To Do in The Bus

posted by ilovepenguins

I didn't write this!

Sell used bus tickets. Claim they are for half the price.

Get on the bus, grinning widely. As soon as the bus begins to move, burst into song. When you arrive at the next stop, stop singing. Step off the bus backwards, still grinning widely.

If you are seated between two passengers, yawn loudly, strech, and put your arms around them.

Greet passengers with a big hug, handshake, smile and say ³Hi, call me Norman²

Put a leash on a friend and walk him/her onto the bus. Insist he/she is a dog and should go for half fare.

When arriving at your stop, do not push the button to...

6

How to write in Pig Latin

posted by Saturnluv39

It is easy to speak and write in Pig Latin, so we all should know how to do it! I'm gonna teach you all how to do it!
1. Put the first letter of the word in the back of the word. If the first letter is a vowel, leave it in the front.

2. Add 'ay' to the end of the word.

example:
1. latin
2. atinl
3. atinlay

example:
1. after
2. after
3. afteray

Now you know how to do it!
Now, if you want to try it out, please translate this sentence into pig latin, and show your results in a comment:
because the web should revolve around you

enter your translation results, and if you win, you get the prize. I will tell the winner on Dec. 2nd, 2009. If you are a winner check everything on your profile.

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Random Unexplainable Pictures

added by JustHuddy

3

Should I have a cookie?

added by r-pattz

Source: tumblr, where else?

2

my random picture

added by popalj

2

How to be Random

posted by KateKicksAss

This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!

Of course, if you are TRULY random, you shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever you may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases or monologues or pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of friends or logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if you got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and you can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...

2

Bella Thorne's REAL ghost experience: from ASTROgirl magazine

posted by DxCFan123

"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and by brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in bed and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...

3

Mamma Mia Luigi

posted by yoshifan1976

Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse Peach was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", Peach told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a kiss and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. Daisy hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...

1

=)

added by EmzLovesCheryl

rAnDoM

added by h2o-fen-site