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50 Things To Do In An Elavator:
1) Bite your own arm and when someone looks at you say: "Well pardon me if I have a craving for human flesh!"
2)Laugh psychoticaly in the cornor.
3)Say in a demonic voice "I belive it is time for me to feed on the souls of children again."
4)Dress up as the Lipstick Face Demon from insidious and shout "WHO STOLE MY LIGHT SABER?!?!"
5) Fall on the ground in a fatal position and begin rolling clockwise on the floor, keeping your head in the same place, and scream like your being posessed.
6) Say to absolutly no one "What?! You want me to kill him/her" and point at someone in the elavator.
7) Put on a fake mustache and sing "Tip Tow Through The Tulips" by Tiny Tim.
8) Put a bag over your head and when no ones watching you say "Stop looking at me!"
9) Put on a Strangers mask (Doll-Face, Pin-Up, or the other guy whose name I dont know), twirl a bone in your hand, and glare at everyone from the cornor.
10) Push all of the buttons.
11) Stand there patiently. Haha! I kid. What I meant was scream "Were all gonna die!" when the elavator stops at a floor.
12) Start doing the disco.
13)Try to sell paper clips stuffed inside your jaket.
14) Jump up and down.
15) Run into the walls.
16)Yell your A B C's, messing up every so often, and reppetivly saying the letter Y when you reach it.
17)Squirt people with a water gun full of mustard.
18)Clean everything in sight.
19) Open up your cell and say," Dammit! The police are comin? Crap! Stay calm, i'll be right out! Get the car ready!"
20) Throw popcorn at people.
21)Say "What? Oh No, the voices are back. What did you say? Theyre coming for me?! The Martians are ccoming for me! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
22)Scream.
23)Drop to the floor and scream, "Oh Elavator floor! How ive missed you!"
24) Sing the Sponge Bob theme song.
25)Start saying swear words at a rapid pace.
26) Be all quiet and calm and then shout "Ha, Life! I beat you!"
27) Point at the ceiling and say in a mesmerized voice "Pretty windchimes!"
28) Shout, "I am the Sith Lord and I shall electrocute you all with my fists!!"
29)Start acting like a monkey.
30) Look at someone and when they look at you say, "That wasnt very scientific."
31)Breakdance!
32) Spin around in circles.
33) Say, "Allright, the games over. Who the hell stole my pineapple?"
34) Sing the McDonalds jingle.
35) Dress up like Santa and say "Ho ho ho! Im gonna eat you little kids this year! Ho ho ho!"
36) Sing Dont Stop Beliving and interpretive dance.
37) Halfway through fling yourself against the wall and stay there for as long as you dare.
38) Go up to random people and shout "Do you wanna see my pet?!" and hold up a string.
39) Pretend to pass out and when they start to freak out jump up and sing Jingle Bells.
40)Find a friend and have them covered in ketchup, drag them in an elavator, and tell everyone in a maniacle voice you killed him/her, and then have your friend jump up and scream.
41) Yell, "No! It cant be!"
42)Sing an annoying song that will get stuck in everyone's heads.
43) Name all of the planets.
44) Speak in words no one understands, such as... "DGKJNHRGKJNERJGNRTJNTRKJNBHRJN!"
45) Take a flashlight and shine it in people's eyes.
46) Get a handful of baby powder and throw it in people's faces.
47)Bark like a dog.
48) Pretend to be a robot.
49) Get down on all fours and meow and run into walls.
50) Make wierd random facial expressions.
(coming soon: 50 ways to get assasinated)
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posted by MineTurtle
BTW, this isn't mine. It was originally written by XxEmolovexX. Copied word for word.

Dad comes home drunk and mad.
He pulls out a gun.
And shoots his wife then turns the gun on himself.

The little girl sits behind the couch, crying.

The police came and took the little girl to an orphanage.

She walks into the bedroom, and there is a picture of Jesus on the cross.

Girl: How did that man get off that?
Teacher: He didn't
Girl: Yes he did!
Teacher: No he didn't
Girl: Yes he did! He always sat next to me when my parents fought, and he told me everything would be okay.

Post this as 'Jesus story' (any place)?
Don't ignore this.

64 percent of you won't re-post this.

You never know who might be watching. Remember: the Bible says If you deny Jesus in front of your friends, He will deny you in front of his Father.
This world will fall under the hands of evil, darkness and shadows shall destroy this world.....the ultimate power of the darkness shall prevail. All of my enemies shall be destroyed by this darkness...Only the worthy people will survive. All of the not worthy people shall be enslaved by the twisted turns of the darkness. Animals will be turned more scarier...some humans will become frightful......and I shall have the ultimate power!, let fire and ice come alive along with darkness.....dragons shall rise and inhabit this planet....The skies will turn black and red and the ground will turn to metal.......robot unicorns will dance...the dance of....evil...Heavy Metal will come alive and there will be peace among every awesome human on this Earth....come and join me as I take over this silly little planet....everyone will bow down to me and only me,.....I SHALL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!, mwhahahaha >:)
In my opnion when it comes to friendship it means that you and the people you care about stick together for periods of time until you get to know one another.

However, not a lot of people are like this. In my case, I may have over a dozen fans but a percentage of them even talk to me nor do they know who I am and what I meant to be on here for. Don't get me wrong a few of the fans I have are very nice to me. Whenver I talk to them I always feel welcomed, safe, secured, and better. But when I am being treated unfairly or being abused or played around it makes me angry, sad, depressed, and unhappy....
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posted by karpach_14
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend. 'My wife found out..'


Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be...
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posted by AngelVicki427
I put up this article just to inform u on how horrible animaal cruelty is, not to be negative or anything.
__________________________________________________
One rapidly growing concept is animal cruelty.
Animal cruelty simply means cruel unwarranted treatment of animals. Such treatment generally has a single point program - to subject animals and sometimes pets to unnecessary harm and pain. One major type of animal cruelty is torture.
Neglect and abandonment are the most common forms of companion animal abuse in the United States.
Scientists estimate that 100 species go extinct every day! That's...
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