“ Killing someone with a spoon is not bad, but I prefer the chainsaw it's faster.”
~ Serial Killer on spoons
You found out you hate someone. No, not just hate. You FUCKING hate them. No, not just FUCKING hate them, you wanna strangle them until their head pops off then shove it down the loo but then it'll go into the sewers and then the police/the fuzz/cops/pigs/gorillas will be like, all, "omfg wutt iz goin on why iz der a hed in me toilet" and then they'll find you're fingerprint on them and be all "haha we fund woo it was it was [insert name here] and then you be like "omgomgomg" and then you get into prison and then rot there and turn into a ghost and the only thing you can do is go onto Uncyclopedia and look up how to kill people with Spoons.
Not that I would know, of course.
But you love Spoons. Spoons are sexy. Someone is not. Someone out there is NOT sexy. Whether that's you, yourself, or maybe perhaps YOU, That someone shall be your victim. And your victim Shall die... BY SPOON.
STEP ONE
1) First, you need a good Spoon...like a big soup Spoon. 2) Find the person you hate / or someone that you want to kill with the Spoon! 3) Make sure you take them somewhere secret where no-one can hear them screaming. 4) Duct tape their mouth and hands together, but don't forget to duct tape their legs together in case they try to run! 5) start threatening them that your gonna hurt their kitten!
STEP TWO
Learn the ancient art of Tai-Spong.
For many thousands of years, Buddhist monks in the Shaolin temple had denied their existence. They will always say "There is no Spoon", but this was a diversion to hide the terrible truth, of the deadly art of Tai-Spong. Of course, Tai-Spong doesn't actually matter, only whether you hate that someone or not. But you do hate them. That's why you are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP THREE
Know your victim:
* How much do they weigh?
* Is he/she physically fit?
* Is it Tuesday?
* Do you own a kitten?
* Do you like honey?
* How far away are you from the moon?
* Do they have a family?
* Do you have a family?
* Why don't you have a family?
Of course, none of these questions actually matter, only whether you hate that someone or not. But you do hate them. That's why you are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP FOUR
You need to choose your weapon (see step 1) and practice with it (ask the hospitals for a free corpse to train on or just find a daycare, and use a sleeping child). You need to sneak up on your victim (when he is masturbating or taking a bath or something like that) And of course:Atttaaaaackkk!!!
~ Serial Killer on spoons
You found out you hate someone. No, not just hate. You FUCKING hate them. No, not just FUCKING hate them, you wanna strangle them until their head pops off then shove it down the loo but then it'll go into the sewers and then the police/the fuzz/cops/pigs/gorillas will be like, all, "omfg wutt iz goin on why iz der a hed in me toilet" and then they'll find you're fingerprint on them and be all "haha we fund woo it was it was [insert name here] and then you be like "omgomgomg" and then you get into prison and then rot there and turn into a ghost and the only thing you can do is go onto Uncyclopedia and look up how to kill people with Spoons.
Not that I would know, of course.
But you love Spoons. Spoons are sexy. Someone is not. Someone out there is NOT sexy. Whether that's you, yourself, or maybe perhaps YOU, That someone shall be your victim. And your victim Shall die... BY SPOON.
STEP ONE
1) First, you need a good Spoon...like a big soup Spoon. 2) Find the person you hate / or someone that you want to kill with the Spoon! 3) Make sure you take them somewhere secret where no-one can hear them screaming. 4) Duct tape their mouth and hands together, but don't forget to duct tape their legs together in case they try to run! 5) start threatening them that your gonna hurt their kitten!
STEP TWO
Learn the ancient art of Tai-Spong.
For many thousands of years, Buddhist monks in the Shaolin temple had denied their existence. They will always say "There is no Spoon", but this was a diversion to hide the terrible truth, of the deadly art of Tai-Spong. Of course, Tai-Spong doesn't actually matter, only whether you hate that someone or not. But you do hate them. That's why you are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP THREE
Know your victim:
* How much do they weigh?
* Is he/she physically fit?
* Is it Tuesday?
* Do you own a kitten?
* Do you like honey?
* How far away are you from the moon?
* Do they have a family?
* Do you have a family?
* Why don't you have a family?
Of course, none of these questions actually matter, only whether you hate that someone or not. But you do hate them. That's why you are killing them...with a Spoon.
STEP FOUR
You need to choose your weapon (see step 1) and practice with it (ask the hospitals for a free corpse to train on or just find a daycare, and use a sleeping child). You need to sneak up on your victim (when he is masturbating or taking a bath or something like that) And of course:Atttaaaaackkk!!!
usually i write about banana's and sheep's, but there is something eles that has been bothering me
i mean i went to school and someone said;
" jam!!! give me dat gum? or i shank u. k??!!"
so i natrually thought, poor kid must be hungry and as soon as i get in i will ring social services saying that he had been starved. so anyway i gave him the gum and waited there for 5 MIN'S. and then he said;
"what u looking at lankey, do i know you?? no so scram fam"
i replied that his grammer is terrible and that i could give him a number for a private tutor. he took it the wrong way. after getting beat up (none of this happened by the way it is how some people act) he said something in a different language;
"if u dare touch my terve again i will flippy floppy to u and fump lump your mum"
i replied are you sure you don't want that private tutor?
thankyou for listening and become a fan of me and my article
Allex: Miss Carey, where are we going to perform our play?
Miss Carey On the stage in the school theatre.
Allex/Mady/Ed/Nicki: Wow!
Nicki: Are we going to wear costumes?
Miss Carey: Oh, yes! And we're going to have scenery and props, too.
Ed: Have we got scripts? We must learn our words.
Miss Carey: I've got one copy os the script. We need ten copies.
Allex: I can make copies, Miss Carey.
Mady: We can help you!
Ed: Here's the photocopier.
Mady: Put the script in here and press these buttons.
Allex: OK. We need ten copies. 1..0...
Nicki: It isn't working. Try again.
Allex: OK. 1...0... Is it broken?
Ed: Did you press the start button?
Mady: Press it now.
Nicki: Oh no! What's happening?
Ed: It's making too many copies.
Allex: 1...0...1...0... It's making one thousand and ten!
Miss Carey On the stage in the school theatre.
Allex/Mady/Ed/Nicki: Wow!
Nicki: Are we going to wear costumes?
Miss Carey: Oh, yes! And we're going to have scenery and props, too.
Ed: Have we got scripts? We must learn our words.
Miss Carey: I've got one copy os the script. We need ten copies.
Allex: I can make copies, Miss Carey.
Mady: We can help you!
Ed: Here's the photocopier.
Mady: Put the script in here and press these buttons.
Allex: OK. We need ten copies. 1..0...
Nicki: It isn't working. Try again.
Allex: OK. 1...0... Is it broken?
Ed: Did you press the start button?
Mady: Press it now.
Nicki: Oh no! What's happening?
Ed: It's making too many copies.
Allex: 1...0...1...0... It's making one thousand and ten!
Please give me your honest opinion.
Henry Hudson
Hudson was an English explorer and he was born around 1565. He disappeared in 1611. He was unknown about until 1607 when he went on 2 trips. One of the trips he made was to find a shortcut from Europe to Asia. He also went to Greenland to search for another passage, and then he went to explore the new world.
He made the Arctics and North America popular, but then while he was exploring the new world, he suddenly disappeared! Nobody knows what happened to him, though.
After he disappeared, everyone was worried. They became sick, and some people thought he died. Nobody knew what happened. So that is what Henry Hudson is.
Cited Sources
1. That pamphlet Mr. Putt gave me
2. Books I read
3. Research online
That's my essay! I bet I'll get lots of negative comments
And please point out the mistakes. I'll change it.
Let's start from the outside first.
Then from inside, I didn't stay long it was only a quick visit.