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posted by randomgirl3000
Malcolm X (1925-1965) "Cool it, brothers..." (His last words before being assassinated.)
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Karl Marx (1818-1883) "Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough."
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James McLain (1970) [American criminal] "Take lots of pictures! We are the revolutionaries!" (Before being killed by the police, as he tried to shoot his way to freedom at his trial.)
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Edwin Henry Murrant (1864-1902) [Australian Anglo-Boer War soldier and poet] "Shoot straight, you bastards! Don't make a mess of it!" (To the firing squad that executed him.)
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John Pierpont Morgan (1837-1913) "I've got to get to the top of the hill..."
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Benito Mussolini (1883-1945) "But, but, mister Colonel..." (Before being executed.)
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Napoleon I (1769-1821) "Chief of the Army."
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Ramon Maria Narvaez (1800-1868) "I do not have to forgive my enemies, I have had them all shot." (Said on his deathbed, when asked by a priest if he forgave his enemies.)
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Laurence Olivier (1907-1989) "This isn't Hamlet, you know, it's not meant to go into the bloody ear." (To his nurse, who spilt water over him while trying to moisten his lips.)
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Henry John Temple, 3rd Viscount, Palmerston (1784-1865) "Die, my dear Doctor? That's the last thing I shall do!" (Attributed last words.)
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St John Philby (Died1960) "God, I'm bored."
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Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) "Drink to me."
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Elvis Presley (1935-1977) "I hope I haven't bored you." (Concluding what would be his last press conference.)
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Sir Walter Raleigh (1554-1618) "I have a long journey to take, and must bid the company farewell."
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Cecil John Rhodes (1853-1902) "So little done, so much to do."
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James W. Rodgers (Died 1960) [American criminal] "Why yes, a bulletproof vest!" (On his final request before the firing squad.)
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Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945) "I have a terrific headache."
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Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) "Put out the light."
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Ethel Rosenberg (1918-1953) "We are the first victims of American fascism!" (Before her execution.)
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Julius Rosenberg (1918-1953) "We are innocent. That is the whole truth. To forsake this truth is to pay too high a price even for the priceless gift of life. For life thus purchased we could not live out in dignity." (Before his execution.)
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Damon Runyon (1884-1946) "You can keep the things of bronze and stone and give me one man to remember me just once a year."
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Saki (Hector Hugh Munro) (1870-1916) "Put that bloody cigarette out." (Just before being killed by a sniper, 14 November 1916)
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George Sanders (1906-1972) "Dear World, I am leaving you because I am bored. I am leaving you with your worries. Good luck." (His suicide note.)
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John Sedgwick (1813-1864) "Nonsense, they couldn't hit an elephant at this distance." (In response to a suggestion that he should not show himself over the parapet during the Battle of the Wilderness.)
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George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) "I want to sleep..."
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Adam Smith (1723-1790) "I believe we should adjourn this meeting to another place."
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Gertrude Stein (1874-1946) "Just before she [Stein] died she asked, `What _is_ the answer?' No answer came. She laughed and said, `In that case what is the question?' Then she died."
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Adlai E. Stevenson (1900-1965) "I feel faint." (Before collapsing.)
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Dylan Thomas (1914-1953) "I have just had eighteen whiskeys in a row. I do believe that is a record."
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Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)
`Have you made your peace with your God?'
`I never quarreled with my God.'
`But aren't you concerned about the next world?'
`One world at a time.'
(Discussion with his aunt on his deathbed)
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James Thurber (1894-1961) "God bless... God damn."
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Francisco `Pancho' Villa (1878-1923) "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something."
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Voltaire (1694-1778) "This is no time to make new enemies." (When asked on his deathbed to forswear Satan.)
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William Wallace (1270-1305, Scottish Patriot) "Freedom" [Ascribed to him in the film "Braveheart"; his actual last words, before being hanged, disembowelled, drawn and quartered, are unknown.]
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George Washington (1732-1799) "It is well, I die hard, but I am not afraid to go."
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Daniel Webster (1782-1852) "I still live."
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Herbert George Wells (1866-1946) "Go away... I'm allright."
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Oscar Wilde (1854-1900) "Either this wallpaper goes, or I do!" [The authenticity of this quote is complicated by his deathbed conversion back to Catholicism and the fact that a priest was with him up to the very end. Another deathbed quotation is also attributed to him: he asked for Champagne to sip as he died, and as he sipped, he is reported to have said: "Alas, I am dying beyond my means."]
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Christopher Scott Emmett(1972-2008) "Tell my family and friends I love them, tell the governor he just lost my vote. Y'all hurry this along, I'm dying to get out of here." (Just before his execution in Virginia; he challenged the legality of lethal injections as cruel and unusual punishment, but a federal appeals court rejected his claims.)
posted by hetaliaitaly
Well here you are
at the edge of the abyss...

at the beginning of infinity

heaven or hell

an afterlife
or a nothingness

forgiveness
or an eternity of suffering ?

Does anyone really know ?

Why have you come here ?
What do you need ?


To Find a Way to Live ?

Maybe you want to take them to die . . . ?


But I ask you now..
how many of these pills

would you take each day to live ?



To feel good, normal good, like everyone else ?

Stable, not depressed, even happy, but normal ?



These are some of the pills I take every day

to save my life.

They are not herbs or antidepressants.



I feel happy, I feel...
continue reading...
OK, this article is going to be in the point of view of many different characters. Before it begins in their point of view it will have their names.
BELLA
Edward wasn't a school today, too sunny, I'm guessing. The Cullens are probably out hunting. Charlie had said that where the Cullens "hike" is filled with bears. I'm pretty sure that they are hunting somewhere else today, so I would like to see how it looks up there. I pulled on some hiking boots and got in my truck.
Eventually I reached the place. I was standing on the side of a small cliff. I found a few bear prints, and started to wander...
continue reading...
posted by invadercalliope
CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIII
IIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
PPPPPEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEE
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLL!
HI EVERYONE!
TODAYS MY 2 EPISODE!
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
ITS ME INVADER CALLIOPE YOUR HOST!
NOW ITS TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE SPECAIL GUEST STAR ZIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
clapdy clap clap
Invader Callipe:HI ZIM
Zim:I'M NORMAL *walks away*
WELL BYE ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!
WELL GOODBYE EVERYONE THIS IS THE END OF EPISODE 2!
SEE YA LATER BYE BYE EVERYONE!
The End!
Miss Carey: Hello, Allex! Come in!
Allex: Hi! What's happening here?
Mady: It's drama club.
Miss Carey: Come and join us!
Allex: Ok. What are you doing?
Ed: We're putting on a play.
Allex: Really? Can i be in it? I like acting.
Nicki: He's a really good actor, Miss Carey.
Miss Carey: Excellent!
Allex: What's the play?
Mady: It's The Ugly Duckling.
Allex: Oh... That's for little children.
Mady: Yes, we're doing it for kindergarten.
Nicki: It's fun!
Ed: I'm the kind man.
Mady: I'm the kind man's doughter.
Alex: What about me?
Miss Carey: You, Alex, can be the ugly duckling.
posted by shutyourface
don't worry this article is not about sheep or bananas it is about a more serious matter.

this is a debate and i want everyone reading this
writing a comment about what you think is write or wrong
ok?

so anyway

here i go


what came first

the egg

or the chicken?

thats my debate and i want EVERYONE who's a fan
of random to write what they think is right


and become a fan of me and become a fan of my
article

and remember

what came first
the egg
or the chicken

i am only doing this because i have been
wondering that for ages
added by Gretulee
added by Gretulee
added by mina27
posted by CullenProperty
1.    Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys love flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you,...
continue reading...
DEMENTED POEMS

Roses are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

Roses are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

Roses are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And show me your tits

Roses make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And you love it up the shitter

Roses are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

Roses are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

Roses are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

Roses are shit
Violets are crap
Show me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

Roses are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And swallow it down

Roses are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar you grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something or someone

3. Go up to a random person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki random noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a fountain run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to you in public about the...
continue reading...
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
continue reading...
added by adultswimperson
Source: Google
I found this hilarious article on pcworld.com
Don't know who the author is, but he's funny.

1. Backward Thinking
"I sold my only car to help pay for gas money, but now gas has come down in price. How do I get my car back?"
I tried to contact this guy, but it turns out that he also sold his computer to help pay for his Internet connection.

2. It's Caps Lock--Capisce?
"HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPSLOCK? I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED IT ON YESTERDAY AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO TURN IT BACK OFF."
Note to self: Register howtoturnoffcapslock.com; make millions.

3. Credit Crunch
"I wanted to see if my computer would read my...
continue reading...
posted by Sheetal1256
Here are some funny New Year's resolutions for 2012...
I will think of a password other than "password" or "hello".

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I won't worry so much.

I will cut my hair.

I will grow my hair.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be more imaginative.

I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever...
continue reading...
added by Juilet1234
posted by Usui--takumi
Why was Tigger looking in the bowl??
He was trying to find pooh.
There were three men on an airplane, one of them decides to bring a baby.There is a crash and only three parachutes so they leave the baby behind. When they get to the bottom they hear screaming. They find the baby on the ground. The dad of the baby says, '' How did you get down here? ''. The baby replies, '' Me not dumb, me not silly, me hold on to daddy's willy!''
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
Yo momma so fat, when she jumps her own boobs slap her.
Yo momma so dumb AND fat,...
continue reading...
posted by Shelly_McShelly
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four questions to determine the level of your intellect. Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: You are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in second place.
In which position are you now?

Answer:

If you answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. You overtook the second runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the next question try not to be so dumb.

2 : If you overtake the last...
continue reading...
posted by Shelly_McShelly
a boy was asked by his teacher to pick some spelling words for his homework. the boy goes home and asks his mum "what's a good spelling word?" and the mother replies " Shutup, i'm busy", so he writes it down.
he goes to his dad and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and the dad replies "da na na na Batman!" so he writes it down.
next he goes to his older sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she replies "yeah yeah" so the boy writes it down.
he goes to his younger sister and asks "whats a good spelling word?" and she replies "lollipop, lollipop" so he writes it down.
Finally he goes...
continue reading...
posted by invadercalliope
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? You know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let you go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are you enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."

Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."

Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling you how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."

Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End