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This is a true story. If anyone tells you it isn't true, they are lying. Enjoy the story of my amazing life. -Lonk

I have always lived in PENNSYLVANIA. I was born in Pennsylvania and raised in Pennsylvania my whole life. I still live in Pennsylvania.

One day, when my mommy named Lonk's Mom was cooking, she realized she was cooking my boots. She stopped cooking, because she realized, those were my only pair of boots. She gazed into the boiling pot and didn't care about the fact that she might burn her hand and dipped her whole arm into the pot and took out my boots. I didn't see my boots, all I saw was burnt leather, and the rubber part of my boots wasn't even there. I had a look of shock on my face, there was no food left. My family was incredibly poor and the most money we've ever got was a $20 bill. Sadly, where we lived, there was a famine, which meant all the crops died and the cows that ate the crops died, and the animals that ate the cows died. Or so my mom told me that's how it works.

It was 2 days later, and I was hungry. After thinking in my room, because all these days I had to think for a way to get food, I came up with an idea. I got a hanger and I went to the top of our home on a very thundery day. I lifted the hanger above my head, and suddenly, a lightning bolt struck the hanger. And because of magic, the lightning bolt reflected from my hanger and hit the sky. The logic in that was so empty, that it caused another weird thing to happen. It started raining PINEAPPLES. I went inside and told my family to duck under our table, in case a pineapple came in and hit someone in the head.

When the storm of pineapples was over, we collected a total of 100 pineapples. I was so happy. From now on, every 2 days, it rained pineapples. And every 2 days, at least one person got hit in the head with a pineapple. Luckily, Pennsylvania has a hospital nearly every corner. In case someone gets hit with a pineapple.

And that's the story of my life. I hope you enjoyed it!
added by Lizijana
added by legend_of_roxas
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added by ReloadError
Source: Whoever made them, and posted them on artige XP
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added by christina-lou
lol
added by azkaban
added by wolfy123
Source: Me
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xD
added by tabithasb13
added by EllentheStrange
Source: me
Lol
added by Alexyss_Cullen
Source: tumblr
added by msanders2008
added by EminemAddict09
Source: my awesomeness
added by Cyrusrocks
Source: no idea
"Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness." - Charlie Chaplin, The Great Dictator

“If we are to have faith in justice. We need only to believe in ourselves. And act with justice. I believe there is justice in our hearts.” - Paul Newman, The Verdict

“The inches we need are everywhere around us. They’re in every break of the game. Every minute. Every second. On this team we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone...
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posted by haliethefangirl
How To Annoy People In An Elevator
Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
>>> click here for more

Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmates
Cheer and clap loudly every time someoe breaks the silence w/ a bodily function noise.
Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"
Stick your open palm under the stall wall...
continue reading...