Lady sits down on a train. Man sitting next to her turns to her and says, “Lady, that is the ugliest baby I have ever seen. That baby looks in a mirror, it’s going to shatter. You oughta put a bag on that baby’s head. That baby is just ugly.”
The woman, horrified, stands up and shouts for the conductor. “Conductor, this man has insulted me.”
“I’m so sorry, ma’am,” the conductor replies. “What he did is totally unacceptable on this train. I will deal with him later, but for now, please come with me. We’ll give you a nice seat in the first-class carriage — and a banana for your monkey.”
Guy in a library walks up to the librarian and says, “I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
Librarian responds, “Sir, you know you’re in a library, right?”
Guy says, “Oh, sorry. [in a whisper] I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”
“That’s disgusting — don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies.
After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went camping.
They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes said: “And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
During a cold winter day a wife messaged to her husband that “the Windows frozen”.
Husband replied to pour some warm water on them.
After a while husband received a message again “No way, the computer is completely spoilt now”.!
Patient: Doctor, please can you help me out?
Doctor: Yes, you may make your way out the same way you come in.
Teacher: John, tell me your date of birth?
John: July 13th
Teacher: on which year?
John: it is in every year, Ma’am!
What is the difference between a teacher and train?
A teacher always says “spit your gum”, while the train says “chew chew chew…”!
What will be a Math teacher’s favorite dish?
Pi!
Sam called helpdesk to solve his computer issue.
Helpdesk: “Sir click on “my computer” icon to the left of computer screen”
Sam: “my left or your left?”!
AND ONE MORE FOR APPRECIATING MY PREVIOUS ARTICLE
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes”
WOMAN: “I’m at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new2006 models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$68,000.”
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing….The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer
$900,000.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!”
MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: “Does anyone know whose phone this is?
WILL TRY TO POST MORE LATER!
The woman, horrified, stands up and shouts for the conductor. “Conductor, this man has insulted me.”
“I’m so sorry, ma’am,” the conductor replies. “What he did is totally unacceptable on this train. I will deal with him later, but for now, please come with me. We’ll give you a nice seat in the first-class carriage — and a banana for your monkey.”
Guy in a library walks up to the librarian and says, “I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
Librarian responds, “Sir, you know you’re in a library, right?”
Guy says, “Oh, sorry. [in a whisper] I’ll have a cheeseburger and fries, please.”
A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”
“That’s disgusting — don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies.
After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went camping.
They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes said: “And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
During a cold winter day a wife messaged to her husband that “the Windows frozen”.
Husband replied to pour some warm water on them.
After a while husband received a message again “No way, the computer is completely spoilt now”.!
Patient: Doctor, please can you help me out?
Doctor: Yes, you may make your way out the same way you come in.
Teacher: John, tell me your date of birth?
John: July 13th
Teacher: on which year?
John: it is in every year, Ma’am!
What is the difference between a teacher and train?
A teacher always says “spit your gum”, while the train says “chew chew chew…”!
What will be a Math teacher’s favorite dish?
Pi!
Sam called helpdesk to solve his computer issue.
Helpdesk: “Sir click on “my computer” icon to the left of computer screen”
Sam: “my left or your left?”!
AND ONE MORE FOR APPRECIATING MY PREVIOUS ARTICLE
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes”
WOMAN: “I’m at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new2006 models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$68,000.”
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing….The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer
$900,000.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!”
MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: “Does anyone know whose phone this is?
WILL TRY TO POST MORE LATER!
* Orange Lavaburst
* Peach (no longer produced)
* Poppin' Pink Lemonade
* Strawberry Kiwi Kraze
* Torrential Tropical Punch
* Wild Cherry
* Candy apple cooler
[edit] Hi-C Blast
* Berry Blue
* Blue Watermelon
* Fruit Pow
* Fruit Punch
* Orange
* Orange Supernova
* Pink Lemonade
* Raspberry Kiwi
* Strawberry
* Strawberry Kiwi
* Wild Berry
[edit] Hi-C Sour Blast
* Green Apple
* Strawberry
* Wild Cherry
__________________________________________________
THE WORD HI 61 TIMES
hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
* Peach (no longer produced)
* Poppin' Pink Lemonade
* Strawberry Kiwi Kraze
* Torrential Tropical Punch
* Wild Cherry
* Candy apple cooler
[edit] Hi-C Blast
* Berry Blue
* Blue Watermelon
* Fruit Pow
* Fruit Punch
* Orange
* Orange Supernova
* Pink Lemonade
* Raspberry Kiwi
* Strawberry
* Strawberry Kiwi
* Wild Berry
[edit] Hi-C Sour Blast
* Green Apple
* Strawberry
* Wild Cherry
__________________________________________________
THE WORD HI 61 TIMES
hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
10. we have a slim chance we might be able to make a non hangover wine.....more amazing things have happened.....Actually that might be a lie.
9. We've all got our friends and family....And chocolate.
8. We also have light chocolate!
7. we also have dark chocolate!
6. Did I mention we have chocolate?
5. If the "Waters of mars" doctor who special scared the cra* out of you, at least your not alone...
4. Even if you sometimes feel sad or depressed, the sun will come out tomorrow....OR if your used to typical british wheather then this doesn't apply to you sorry, but if your in any other country, then you still have ten reasons to stay sane!
3. When you think of chocolate everything seems to go your way...
2. There's someone for everyone!
1. Thats the lot! :)
-Pandawinx. :)
(PS thanks for reading! :) )
9. We've all got our friends and family....And chocolate.
8. We also have light chocolate!
7. we also have dark chocolate!
6. Did I mention we have chocolate?
5. If the "Waters of mars" doctor who special scared the cra* out of you, at least your not alone...
4. Even if you sometimes feel sad or depressed, the sun will come out tomorrow....OR if your used to typical british wheather then this doesn't apply to you sorry, but if your in any other country, then you still have ten reasons to stay sane!
3. When you think of chocolate everything seems to go your way...
2. There's someone for everyone!
1. Thats the lot! :)
-Pandawinx. :)
(PS thanks for reading! :) )
Hey,it's werewolflover.you seemed to like my other article like this so here's another one.I hope you enjoy and please rate and comment.
#1 sit in your front yard and every time someone walks by (even a dog) moo where they can hear.
#2 Have a tea party with Mr.Wiggles.If anyone wals by say "would you like to join us?"
#3 scream at everyone to hide because the pink fuzzy bananas are taking over the world.
#4 go to a park/any large grassy area where people are,sit down and scream.
#5 Start coughing and then say "sorry my chipmunk,Fred was trying to get out of my stomach.Then say to Fred,be good or I'm taking your DS away.
I personally think my first one was better,but what do ya think?
#1 sit in your front yard and every time someone walks by (even a dog) moo where they can hear.
#2 Have a tea party with Mr.Wiggles.If anyone wals by say "would you like to join us?"
#3 scream at everyone to hide because the pink fuzzy bananas are taking over the world.
#4 go to a park/any large grassy area where people are,sit down and scream.
#5 Start coughing and then say "sorry my chipmunk,Fred was trying to get out of my stomach.Then say to Fred,be good or I'm taking your DS away.
I personally think my first one was better,but what do ya think?
"ATTENTION TDI AND TDA FANS!!!! GUESS WAT... FOR TOTAL DRAMA ACTION EPISODE 14 IS COMING OUT IN 3WEEKS!!!!!!! I REPEAT 3 WEEKS!!!! OMIGOSH THIS IS BIG NEWS THE EXACT DATE IS: September 1, 2009 in both canada and the usa every1 should watch!!!!!!"
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one in 10 of the world's population is left handed.
four out of five machintosh computer designers were left handed,and one out of four Apollo astronauts were left handers too.
more famous left hander:
drew barry more
Angelina jolie
nicole kidman
Marilyn monroe
demi moore
Mary-kate and ashley olsen
julia roberts
Hans christian anderson
mark twain
Billy ray cyrus
celine dion
Pierce brosnan
jim carry
Hugh jackman
brad pitt
Michelangelo
leonardo davinci
Picasso
newton
Albert einstein
george bush
charlie chaplin
cary grant
napeleon bonaparte
bill gates
marie curie
rachel adams
mark spitz
four out of five machintosh computer designers were left handed,and one out of four Apollo astronauts were left handers too.
more famous left hander:
drew barry more
Angelina jolie
nicole kidman
Marilyn monroe
demi moore
Mary-kate and ashley olsen
julia roberts
Hans christian anderson
mark twain
Billy ray cyrus
celine dion
Pierce brosnan
jim carry
Hugh jackman
brad pitt
Michelangelo
leonardo davinci
Picasso
newton
Albert einstein
george bush
charlie chaplin
cary grant
napeleon bonaparte
bill gates
marie curie
rachel adams
mark spitz