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posted by Mauserfan1910
Well my typewriter is down for repairs at the moment and I need something to keep me from being bored as hell because I’m off work for today and my husband is off at church and I think the cat hid my dildo so what the fuck am I supposed to do with my time?
Some of you may be surprised that I’m an author since I type about like how you’d expect a fucking dumbass ranch worker to talk, but I am an author, and I swear I can type good if I wanna.
Art, in all of the forms that it takes on, exists as the method that we humans use to understand and explain our viewpoints on reality. Reality and fiction in that regard exist in a sort of car and model car or gun and airsoft gun sort of relationship. It may be easier to understand, more accessible, and free of many of the constraints that the real thing is subject to. However, fiction still needs to mimic reality in one way or another because it is dependent on reality in order to exist in much the same way that a model car would have no meaning in a world without any concept of transportation devices. Art, however, can mimic reality in a wide variety of different ways. Vermeer’s Girl With The Pearl Earring gives a glimpse into the way people of his time saw the world both in the way the girl looks, and in the colors used. Picasso’s cubism on the other hand also gives a glimpse into the way Picasso saw the world, but yet people are more often confused by Picasso’s more visceral visual style. Villains in any form of storytelling, be it video games, books, movies, et cetera, can be written in different ways to fit the intentions of the author, however realistic or visceral the author chooses to be. This gives rise to there being a variety of good types of villains. In the body of this article, I will explain different types, how they are used, and examples of these villains.
realism
This is the most basic form of villain writing, and the kind that new storytellers should strive to learn and perfect first. It is often said that you need to learn the rules before you break them, so you need to learn to mimic reality in a realistic way before you learn more surreal techniques. The rule here is that reality is very complex and nuanced, even people with mental disabilities are complex with motivations that can be explained and understood. Most of the time, when you ask people what a good, well written villain looks like, they will describe this kind of villain; one that is nuanced, relatable, and rational. If the writer is very good at his job, he or she might even be able to write a story in which the villain is actually the good guy. As a rule of thumb, you should write a person first, and a trope later, and in this context, villain could be thought of as a trope where the goal is not to write a villain, but to write a human being with motivations contrary to the hero.
Examples of these villains include the Malfoy family in Harry Potter, the Woodsman from Over the Garden Wall, Croix from Little Which Academia
symbolic
Also called force of nature villains, these villains aren’t meant to be characters themselves, also they do often complement character villains in a work of fiction. Just as stated before, you have to know the rules before you break the rules. That is where these types of villains come in. The goal is not to write a character, but to have something symbolic of the concept of evil, or of another concept that you believe to be evil. They often manipulate more nuanced character villains, or act as some far off but powerful being that characters must unite to fight. Just as one fleshed out example, we have Zhaitan from Guild Wars II. Zhaitan is not a fleshed out character with a personality or clear motivations, in fact, the game hints that he has no free will at all. He simply corrupts and destroys. The storyline of the game follows your hero as he or she learns about the threats of elder dragons like Zhaitan, and unites different races, organizations, and governments in order to face the threat. Zhaitan doesn’t appear until the very end, making the idea of him far more important than him as a character, and he fills his role in the story very well without the need for complexity. Now, what Zhaitan represents is a subject of debate.
Examples include: Zhaitan from Guild Wars II, Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars, and The Beast from Over the Garden Wall
antihero
The antihero is one of my favorite characters to write. Many of my friends say that I am an antihero and for how much I antagonize my own friends, I think I can see their point. Technically the antihero is a hero and not a villain, but I have chosen to include them to illustrate one major point. The only difference between a good villain and a good hero is who is telling the story. A good antihero can do both good and bad in different individual situations. It’s not uncommon for an antihero to even be an outlaw who goes out to fight for the greater good outside of legal constrains. Such is true for Han Solo who was a smuggler gone revolutionary.
Examples include: Han Solo from Star Wars, Amanda O’Neil from Little Witch Academia, and Don Draper from Madmen
“the enemy”
Some stories don’t have one specific antagonist, the villain isn’t one or two people, but organizations or ideas. War stories are often like this, the enemy of Call of Duty World at War isn’t Shichiro Tamagawa, or Kristoff Keller, but the whole of the Japanese and German armies. The closest you get to one single bad guy is a General Heinrich Amsel, but even he only appears at the very end of one particular mission. Just like with the symbolic villains, usually “the enemy” villains aren’t meant to create a nuanced character, but to be symbolic of different organizations and the things those organizations represented. These sorts of villains are often employed in video games where there is a need for there to be lots of enemies to fight.
Examples include: The Bandits from Guild Wars II, the French and British armies in All Quiet on the Western Front, or Republicanism in the Harvey Milk documentary, Milk.
Whether you are writing the plotline of a video game, a book, the script of a movie, or whatever other form of storytelling art you prefer, villains are as complex and varied as they come in real life. The goal is to make your reader look at your work, and to be able to spend time thinking about it and what different characters or organizations mean for the real world.
Anyway, my husband is home, it’s time to get knocked up, I can’t wait to see how you lovely bastards rip apart my dumb ass article in about an hour
posted by MsMindlessAztec
1. We dont ALWAYS want sex...only sometimes
2. we dont like it when you tell us wat to do
3. never, ever look at other girls with us...otherwise your kicked out
4. delete any pictures of ANY other girls on your phones/computers
5. you need to listen to us
6. if you going to ignore us at least do a good job at it.
7. dont always say "i love you" like 5 times a day, then we think somethings up
8. bringging us to a club and getting us drunk for sex is a bad idea
9. if you get in a fight, admit that your wrong...we like that
10. never say that your the "king of MY casle"
11. always tell us if your borrowing...
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I got this off an e-mail from a friend, so this is not mine and I take no claim in it. Please don't do these things in real life, it's just for fun and a good laugh. And if you do do these things (number 4 fo example), than I'm sorry but you're really dumb.

Enjoy!

__________________________________________________

6 Ways On How To Deal With Shark Attacks:

1) DON'T SWIM IN THE SEA
More than 99% of shark attacks happen in large watermasses- also know as oceans. An easy way to tell if you are in an ocean is to taste the water- it will taste like salt.

2) SWIM ALONGSIDE FAT PEOPLE
Make sure that there...
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posted by mehere
Im sorry if you dont like me Im sorry if you think I suck but most of all Im sorry, I dont give a fuck

Worry about your character and not your reputation, because your character is who you are, and your reputation is only what people think of you.

I think Ive finally come to the point in my life where Im happy with myself and know that I dont have to change or be a certain way for people to like me anymore. Im just fine and if someone doesnt think I am, screw them.

If you don't like my words, don't listen. If you don't like my appearance, don't look. If you don't like my actions, turn your head; It's as simple as that.

Although Ive been hurt I still remain strong. You think I have regrets? Well, youre wrong.
Note; This song is based off of My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic's very own Pinkie Pie's song, 'Giggle at the Ghostie'.

Come on, Fanpop, don't you see!
When I was a little silly and the trolls would bring me down!
Their malice and their hatred was starting to make me frown!
I'd cry in my own bedroom, from what I thought I read! But this shouldn't be the reason that I should end up dead!
They say, "Phoenix, you gotta stand up tall, and deal with these dumb fags! They're just idiots who try to be a dirtbag!"
'Teehee' at the Troll!
Do a barrel roll!
Slap the swearing jerks!
Always have your perks!
Ignore the idiot!
Report the hypocrite!
And tell that stupid jerk to leave you alone
And GTFO off the computer because if they don't they got another thing coming for them and TROLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLL!
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan them!

Now don't let those trolls get to you. Kick their asses and get them off of Fanpop and ze internetz. :3
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!"were screwed"!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS:...
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This is a true story of Mother’s Sacrifice during the China Earthquake.
After the Earthquake had subsided, when the rescuers reached the ruins of a young woman’s house, they saw her dead body through the cracks. But her pose was somehow strange that she knelt on her knees like a person was worshiping; her body was leaning forward, and her two hands were supporting by an object. The collapsed house had crashed her back and her head.

With so many difficulties, the leader of the rescuer team put his hand through a narrow gap on the wall to reach the woman’s body. He was hoping that this woman...
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1) Lean over them when there asleep and sing a lullaby really loud and out of tune.

2) Every five minutes yell "The aliens are coming!"

3) Choose a specifice piece of cutlery (eg. a fork) and stare accusingly at that item every time you see it.

4) Buy face paints and paint their face when there asleep. Try doing something the person is afriad of. (eg. clown, zombie)

5) Announce that you are actually a secret agent, spying on somone who lives in your house.

6) Call your house number and announce that you are going on strike. If they ask for a reason, hang up. Caution: Make sure you dont get a wrong number!!

7) Put ice cubes in everyone's warm drink.

8) Every time they speak interrupt them with "Curiosity killed the cat."

9) Set alarms on your mobile/cell phone that go off every 10 minutes.
posted by MJlover101
-New York City has 11 letters.

-Afghanistan has 11 letters.

-Ramsin Yuseb (the terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.

-George W Bush has 11 letters.

-The Twin Towers make an "11",

-New York is the 11th state.

-The first plane that crashed into the Twin Towers was flight number 11.

-Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. (9+2=11)

-Flight 77 which also hit the Twin Towers was carrying 65 passengers. (6+5=11)

-The tradegy was September 11, or 9/11. (9+1+1=11)

-The total number of victims inside the planes was 254. (2+4+5=11)

-September 11 is the 254th day of the year....
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Note:I wrote that only for fun! i don't even believe if the world is going to end in 2012 cause God only knows when! so don't put stupid comments please!


-How to Survive:

1-Make sure that you've got a back pack full of food and drink

2-Build a room under the ground make sure,that it's ready to use.

3-Sell your Home

4-If your mum or dad is a Doctor ask him/her to teach you some stuff about nursing

5-go to the room you built under the ground and put some food and drinks there!

6-When the day comes! go to the room you built under the ground at 4:00 am before the sun comes!


How to get Ready:(2 Days before...
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posted by animefreak21
do this stuff if u dare but it would be funny 2 c
something like this happen i also made this up myself

1. start caramelldansen in the middle of the store

2. go up 2 a random person and hand them a paper
that says death on it when u hand it 2 them say
wakarimasen (i don't understand) in a really weird
voice then run away

3. sing a really annoying song at the top of your lungs repeatedly

4. follow random people all over the store or where ever they go except the bathroom (that would just be
creepy)

5. say there u r i was looking all over 4 u and glomp (hug some 1 really tight) a random person

6. go up...
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posted by Ninjacupcake
Hate is everywhere. It can be because of race, gender or if someone is gay/lesbian/bi. Sadly, a lot of us have to live with it. What I want to speak about are the hatings of people with different sexual orientations.

Most of you have heard Born This Way by Lady Gaga. I want to say that everyone IS beautiful in their way cause God makes no mistakes. Even though I'm straight, that does NOT mean that I hate others. I love everyone. It makes me mad, but also sad, because that's a human being you are hating. They have red blood when they bleed, need food when they are hungry, and DANG, their poop...
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posted by iluvsmj
"I'm hungry." = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired." = I'm tired.

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = Same as Above

"Can I call you sometime?" = Same as Above

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I...
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this is something that was in the news box on yahoo.



New term: mom-zilla. We know all about temporary bridal insanity, and the underreported groom version, but in some families, it’s the parents who are seized by irrational wedding meltdowns.

Last month, 60-year-old British florist and total mom-zilla, Carolyn Bourne attacked. After her stepson’s bride-to-be, Heidi Withers, was a guest in her house she had a thing or two to teach her before she entered the Bourne family.

So Bourne sent the 29-year-old a soul-crushing email. The subject line: “Your lack of manners.” The bullet points...
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1.You abuse our love you lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we love him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our love is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we love be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape or form.
6.Guys you should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with you (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly love we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When you (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
posted by iamagagamonster
~ In my opinion! alright! You can think what ever you can think about the heros on here ~

5. Batman: The majority of people love batman, I go for Superman. Batman dosn't even have super powers he only has gadjets [spelling?] and gizmos. One day he's gona be in deep danger and then he won't be able to reach his "special" button. Without the help of his sidekick, which brings me to my next hero

4. Robin: Robin is a superhero named after a migratory songbird that you can find in your backyard and feed bird seed to. Can someone tell me why they would name Batman’s sidekick after a songbird? What...
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How to Tell if a Guy likes You
How to Know that a Guy Likes You

Here are the 500 ways to tell if a guy likes You....

01. He smiles at you a lot.

02. He likes talking to you.

03. He compliments you a lot.

04. He always agrees with you.

05. He asks if you are single.

06. He asks you out for lunch.

07. He asks you out on a date.

08. He knows your zodiac sign.

09. He never burps around you.

10. He really cares about you.

11. He treats you like a lady.

12. He walks you to your door.

13. He wants to see you often.

14. He always wants to hug you.

15. He tells you he likes you.

16. His friends know...
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posted by sierradawn9
Ok, so I'm a redhead. I have freckles and light skin. So I'm considered ginger. Until a few weeks ago, I didn't even know what that term meant.
 I learned what it meant when I was on the bus and this guy took something from me. He said he wouldn't give it back until I admitted I was a ginger. So I said "I'm a ginger...?", and he yelled "You have no soooouuul!"
 That got me mad, sad, and confused.
 Seriously guys. Really? Just because some (and I do mean some) redheads have attitudes and act bitchy, that does NOT give you the right to make a stereotype out of the rest of us redheads.
 I'm not...
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10. When being pulled over by a cop and he or she says, "Sir(/)Ma'am, you have been caught speeding, how much do you think you were going?" Don't say, "Well you must've gone AT LEAST 90 to catch up with me."

9. When your teacher asks where your homework is when you haven't handed it in don't say, "My dog ate my homework." That's the oldest excuse in the book. Plus, nobody ever buys it unless they are a complete moron or born yesterday.

8. When your older sister is having her period or PMS-ing don't say, "Hey sis, have you been putting on a little weight?" It's a bitch slap waiting to happen.

7....
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posted by greenstergirl
1. I asked God for a bike. But I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down and beat you with experience.

3. Going to church doesn't make you Christian even more then standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. Its still on the list though.

5. war does not determine who is right- only who is left.

6. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, please notify....." I put DOCTOR.

7.Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home even if...
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posted by JoannaVonDoom
Im sorry if this has been posted before
If not, do not give me credit


1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat...
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