(Just a heads up for anyone who doesn't take nicely to curse words, they show up in this article. So, viewer discretion advised. Though it is discernibly less profane than most of my other work.)

Hidelly ho, neighborinos! Surprise surprise, I'm not actually dead.

Well, at least not yet anyway. Have I jinxed myself before this article has even started...?

Quite possibly, Jared. You fucking idiot.

Anyway, since I've got some ideas and motivation up my sleeve, I decided to write a song for ya'll. I'm sure the title alone will win myself a million Grammies.

And when I say that, I'm not referring to those evil grandmothers from Cookie Clicker. That'd be absolutely goddamn ridiculous.

Regardless though, I don't write often anymore, so let's make this one count. KICK IT!

*Insert Overly Melodramatic Piano Here*

♫Sometimes you feel useless...♫
♫Like a screen door on a submarine, if ya know what I mean, I'm talking anger, depression, sadness...♫
♫While every other motherfucker's feelin' some bliss!♫

♫Because my name is Deathding and I'm here to say-♫
♫"Because my name is Deathding and I'm here to say!"♫

♫Stop treating me like a child, a bother or a prick!
♫Or else I'll have you all suck my-
Thesaurus.....♫

*More Sad Piano For Ya'll*

♫So I got home from school, slept a bit and shot a cannon♫
♫Watched some Kanon, but the cannon was never canon♫
♫I got up from my sheets, and to my dismay♫
♫I felt my sadness rise as I gazed down the drivewaaaay♫

♫But little did I know that some hope would arise♫
♫My weirdness someday would pay off in my eyes♫
♫Because my name is Deathding and I'm here to say-♫
♫My sexuality's a double entendre 'cause it goes both waaays...♫

♫'Cause it's a play on words, play on words!♫
♫So stop and take a look back and interpret what you heard♫
♫And even though our vernacular ain't so spectacular♫
♫I'm still droppin' rhymes like my vocab was oracular!♫

(Even though it's not.)

*Play That Sad Piano*

♫While I was at school, I practiced coding in Brackets♫
♫Keying out some brackets as I typed a tourney bracket♫
♫But like life itself, there's no way you can hack it♫
♫Just gotta mash buttons and proofread your homework packets♫

♫But fear not, and wipe those tears away!♫
♫Because you're bound to get fucked if your days are gray♫
♫Or is it spelled grey? In the UK, that's what they say♫
♫And while I'm rhymin' sublime, on a dime, to pass the time♫
♫Nobody will notice that I'm not straight or gay...♫
♫'Cause todaaaayyy....♫

♫Yeah it's a play on words, play on words!♫
♫So stop and take a look back and interpret what you heard♫
♫And even though our vernacular ain't so spectacular♫
♫I'm still droppin' rhymes like my name was Mick Jagger!♫

♫Even though it's not!♫

♫Yeaaahhhh! Oh yeah!♫

*More Epic Piano Solo Goodness*

♫This is the part of the song♫
♫Where everything slows down, and time adjusts to a screeching haaaaalt....♫

♫How can that go wrong?♫
♫Killing some time by beating up a clock just to pass the tiiiiiiime♫

Wait, that doesn't rhyme...

♫Now that's not very sublime♫
♫Stopping the flow just to please the proletariat kind♫
♫Mind, don't mind, but it's all in your mind♫
♫Still dropping bars left and right like my fate was intertwined, refined, designed by all of humankiiiiiind....♫

♫Yeah I'm sure you know what's coming up in kiiiiind.....♫

♫Now I'm just screwing with words, screwing with words!♫
♫So stop and take a look back and interpret what you heard♫
♫And even though our vernacular ain't so spectacular♫
♫I'm still dropping bars with the sharpness of a daggeeeeeer!♫

♫Nagging on and oooooooooon!♫

♫Yeeeaaaahhhh!♫

(Take my life.)