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EPISODE 1:

I reread my old reviews.. I didn't really give this show the proper justice.. There's actually SO MUCH I can say about it.. I just didn't know at the time..

Hellsing is one of the best animes of my opinion.. And even than, I'm very mixed about this show.. I'm just not really a big anime fan.

Today.. I review episode one..

I don't know what I disliked about episode one the first time reviewing it.

But yeah.. Episode one is actually fucking awesome!..

We are opened up with Sera's as a police officer.. Her and hr men fighting. In my opinion a pretty interesting villain. Chedder.. That is his only known name.. I'm not sure what's so great about him, except that he has a AWESOME evil laugh.. Guess that's reason enough for me. Because it can't be for anything else. As his intentions are too rape Seras because.. She's female, I guess..

I'm admittedly mixed about Seras in the show itself, the reason I like her is cause I have her involved as a crossover character in some fanfictions I write, mostly GTA..

Anyway, just as all hope is lost. out comes the KING vampire.. Alucard. Which means Dracula backwards, so that means.. He's Dracula.. I mean it HAD to be more than just coincidence.

Anyway.. Alucard is sent by Hellsing HQ.. Being claimed as a "expert at this shit". Alucard tells Chedder he's there too kill him. And Chedder laughs it off, getting all his ghouls (zombie like creatures, forcibly controlled by vampires, but they can handle guns, so not "exactly" zombies) to kill Alucard. And hr stands there letting himself getting blown too pieces, as his favourite way of messing with enemies, before gets back up. killing all the Ghouls. Making Chedder realize Alucard's a vampire, and considers him a traitor for helping humans.

Again. I'm not sure why I like Chedder so much. In the end he's shown too be a fucking coward. As he uses Seras as a shield and Alcucard shoots though her too kill Chedder.
Later, Alucard offers Seras the choice of dying as a human, or living as a vampire.. She chooses vampire, and Alucard turns her.. She being a virgin, doesn't become a ghoul.

Seras Victoria (pretty name), now a vampire in training. Joins Hellsing.. Lead by Integra (long story).
And Alucard is her "master".

They spend the next few years, killing evil vampires. Alucard showing no remorse towards his own kind.. Long as they are killing innocent people.

Eventually Alucard and Seras are shown gunning down a long horde of Ghouls.

Alucard reminds Seras that killing them is a "kindness" so she'll feel less bad. However. She slowly goes in a blood rage, killing them all sadistically, and with inhuman speed. Witch pleases Alucard. However after the battle, Seras is impailed by bayonets, and we meet, Alexender Anderson..

I realise now that Anderson is my favorite character of the series (so far at least).

For one thing.
Anderson fights for Christ, which, being a Christian and all makes me not help but take his side in some form.

In any other story, Anderson would be the hero. Only difference seems to be that doesn't know the difference between good vampires and bad vampires.. Than again, Alucard is "Alucard", so hard to label Alucard as the good guy.. Just works for them..

Also, I kinda like his voice in the English version.
I looked it up, the guys name is Steven Brand.

I also know the name of his abridged actor.
Ben Creighton.

Anyway, my boy Anderson reveals to be a regenerator and seemingly kills Alucard. But Alucard later comes back, showing he was only messing with Anderson.

The two become sworn enemies.. And both sadistically enjoy this.

Anyway.. That's it for this review..

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EPISODE 2:

This episode has always been one of my personal favourite.. It's all one long battle sequence when as Hellsing Manner is attacked by Jan and Luke Valentine.

Jan, I still like him. But ones opinion of him can be very mixed.. He is a sense of comic relief.. But he is also a sense of disturbance.. Because he gives no fuck if he lives or dies, long as he gets too "kill and drink blood".

But this brings a difference between the two brothers.. Jan seems perfectly aware that this is s sucide mission, and is fine with this when.. But Luke dose NOT seem too realize this.. Especially because he goes alone again the great Alucard.. Bragging that he has all of Alucard's powers, and more.
But after Alucard actually starts TRYING.. Mainly by releasing some sort of Hell hound.

Luke reveals too be "all talk".
And he quickly cowards out and begs for his master. Witch disgusts Alucard, saying.

"I know see you for what you really are. Your pathetic"

Luke, in response, calls Alucard nothing but a Hellsing "pet dog" And Alucard has the best comeback.

ALUCARD: If I'm a dog.. Than your dog food.

And the hell hound eats Luke.

At the mean time. Jan and his army of powerful ghouls.

Kill all of interga's men, and turning than into Ghouls.
But than has too fight Walter and Seras.. Who kill his ghoul army, and Jan reveals that all the Hellsing guards are ghouls and than attempts manages too get to Integra and the round table. But unfortunately for him. They were waiting for him, and he is shot down. Gravely injured, and near death, Jan is interrogated.

While this happens, Sera goes into another blood rage, killing all of Interga's undead soldiers. (which, after seeing Interga's face, did admittedly make me feel bad).

But I consider Jan too be honourable death.. He never tries too beg for mercy knowing that the people who sent him are gonna kill him for failing.. He gladly accepts his fate. And goes out with no regrets.. And gives Hellsing a clue by his last words.

JAN: Beware.. The.. Millennium

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EPISODE 3:

In a bid to increase manpower following the devastating attack on Hellsing headquarters, by Jan and Luke Valentine. Walter recruits the mercenary group known as Wild Geese (lead by Pip)

After being shown that Vampires do in fact exist (by using Seras as proof) Hellsing integrates them into Hellsing's security forces.

Integra receives information from Enrico Maxwell, the fanatical leader of Iscariot, that confirms her suspicions of Millennium's origins. She soon deploys Alucard, Seras and Pip Bernadotte, leader of the Wild Geese, to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil to find the whereabouts of Millennium.

Alucard and Seras are later attacked by BOPE units of the Brazilian military police after being declared in public as international terrorists, a ruse perpetrated by Brazilian officials in exchange for immortality promised by Millennium. After receiving orders from Sir Integra, Alucard sadistically massacres the BOPE officers (showing anger when one of them shoots himself rather than facing Alucard). Honestly this was one of those moments where Alucard can be a bit unlikable.. He's just such a sadist that he can hard to root for. But that's just me

Anyway, once outside, Alucard faces Tubalcain Alhambra. AKA: The Dandy Man

Mr Alhambra fights with magical playing cards they could cut through nearly anything (including flesh, stone, and a bullet), explode, and appear from thin air or other impossibly small hiding places. Before unleashing his Level One form, Alucard appeared to have great difficulty regenerating from damage inflicted by the cards.

But unfortunately for Tubalcain, after unleashing said power, Alucard manages to grab the enemy vampire, delivering a powerful kick that severed Alhambra's left leg below the knee.

In a last attempt to protect himself, Tubalcain attempted to slash Alucard with a card held between his fingers. In response, Alucard used his own hand to meet the attack, tearing both vampires' arms apart. As Alhambra reeled in pain, Alucard regenerated from his wound and seized the Dandyman's head, explaining that he had been ordered to "thoroughly" interrogate him to learn more about Millennium. Unfortunately for Tubalcain, Alucard's "interrogation" involved drinking his blood and absorbing his soul, thus gaining access to Alhambra's memories and a record of Millennium's plans. After Tubalcain expired, the Doctor used his implanted transmitter to cremate his remains.

This makes Alucard realize that THE MAJOR has returned..

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EPISODE 4:

As Hellsing and Iscariot hold a meeting with the Queen of the United Kingdom their conference is interrupted by a message from The Major (via live video transmission brought in by the ubiquitous Schrödinger) citing his intention to wage war on England. Intrgra questions the purpose of such an act.. And Major's response is actually pretty awesome.

Basically, Major says. There IS no purpose for the act.. Frankly, he just does it for the hell of it. (mixed with a scene of the nazi's smiling at a hostage, which really gave me shivers).

Meanwhile, a VTOL aircraft carrier called the Eagle gets hijacked by Millennium. The ships entire crew is turned into ghouls by a English traitor and the millennium Lieutenant Rip van Winkle boards the ship with her battalion of Millennium troops. Shooting down anyone that tries too board with her "special bullets".. First used too betray the english traitor (ironically). Till eventually, Alucard crashes into it with a Blackbird jet, dramatically destroying it.

Rip is utterly terrified of Alucard, who she equates with Zamiel, the "Black Huntsman" who eventually kills Kaspar at the end of Der Freischütz. Notably, Rip senses Alucard's approach long before he actually arrives on the Eagle, and immediately begins panicking. She also exhibits extreme reluctance to fight Alucard, only briefly gathering herself when she remembers the Major asking her how she would act when faced with impending death. But unfortunately for her. Alucard shows no mercy. And slowly kills her.. Shoving her rifle into her heart, and slowly drinking all her blood. As Major "respects" her by, not allowing her too be put out of her misery, by killing her with that blue fire.

Meanwhile the Major and his minions make their way toward London, revealing that Rip was a "set up" and they got Alucard exactly where they want him.. And now London is "fucked"..


"My friends, it has often been said that I like war.
My friends, I like war...
No, friends, I love war!
I love holocausts.
I love blitzkriegs.
I love defensive lines.
I love sieges, charges, I love mop-up operations, and retreats.
Wars across prairies, in streets, in trenches, in grasslands, in frozen tundras, through deserts, on the sea, in the air, I love every act of war that can occur upon this earth.
I love blasting the enemy to smithereens with artillery salvos that thunder across the lines of battle.
My heart leaps with joy whenever a soldier is tossed high into the air and cut to pieces by well placed sniper rounds. And there is nothing like a tank operator using a Tiger acht acht (88) to destroy enemy tanks. And the feeling that comes when a soldier runs screaming from his blazing tank only to be mowed down by heavy machine gun fire, is such an exquisite feeling. Like when ranks of infantry brandish their bayonets rushing into the enemy line. It moves me deep within my heart to watch a fresh recruit stabbing over and over into the bloated chest of a long-dead enemy.
The sight of deserters being strung up from a street lamp is an irresistible pleasure. And there is nothing more arousing, than the sounds made by prisoners of war dropping like flies, screaming in agony as they're mowed down by ear piercing schmeissers !
When a band of pitiful resistance fighters makes their final stand with nothing but small arms, only to have their city smashed to atoms block by block by 4.8 ton bombshells, I'm in ecstasy.
I love it when my forces are ravaged by a Russian armored division. It's so sad to see towns and villages that were supposed to be defended at all costs, being laid to waste, their women and children being raped, and killed.
I love to be squashed under the heel of the British and American war machines. The humiliation, as my men crawl around like vermin, ducking the jagdbombers flying overhead.
Gentlemen... All I ask for is war, a war so grand as to make Hell itself tremble. Gentlemen, I ask you as fellow brothers in arms, what is it that you really want? Do you wish for further war as I do? (Voice begins to raise) Do you wish for a merciless, bloody war? A war whose fury is built with iron, and lightning, and fire? (Dramatically raises voice) Do you ask for war to sweep in like a tempest, leaving not even ravens to scavenge, from this Earth!?
...Very well. Then krieg is what you shall have. We are a clenched fist, ready to strike down all who oppose us, with our might.
But... After enduring over half a century wallowing in the darkness, for us, a simple "ordinary" war will no longer be sufficient.
We need a MASSIVE war! A war beyond any other that man's history has ever known!
We are but a single battalion... The remnants of a defeated army numbering less than a thousand strong. However, I believe that each of you old warriors is equal to a thousand of their sickly soft children! We represent a force that could easily defeat an army of a million and one men!
It is time for them to awake the ones who sent us screaming into oblivion, and who now lie sleeping. Let's drag them out of bed by the hair, and remind them of what we are! We will remind them of what it feels like to live in fear. We will remind them of the sound our jackboots make against their throats
We will remind them, that there are more things between Heaven and Hell than are dreamt of in their philosophy.
Our Kampfgruppe of one thousand vampires is going to burn this world down to ash.
(Cuts to window scene)
Yes, my friends! Soon, Europe's charred remains will illuminate the night sky!
I have brought you all back just as I promised I would. Back to our favorite battlefield. Back to our beloved war!
...At last, the sea lion has crossed the ocean and is heading up the hill. Attention, all soldiers of the Millennium Battalion! This is a message from your commander…Friends...let’s bring them hell."

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EPISODE 5:

We didn't see Alucard.
And having seen the ending bonus scenes, apparently its gonna be like that for a few other episodes as well.
As much Alucard can be a bit much for me sometimes, it's still gonna be weird not seeing him.

If your wondering about my thoughts of Penwood's death.
I don't have too much.
We don't know about him.
But still he died with honor, and I still solute to him.

Like all other Hellsing episodes I saw so, the battles are awesome, so no complaints there.
Though it's weird how they have to read from books before they attack.
But it's also kinda cool to see the nazi soldiers talking.
I always thought they were jusy brainless ghouls.
But there clearly full on vampires, and they actually seem pretty intelligent, so I can't help but give them credit for that.

Oh well..
Till next time.

Connor/Canada24

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EPISODE 6:

It's been while since I watch this show, but the episode was good.

Most times I just watch this show for the violence. So at first I was a bit mad when they blew down the zeppelin, thought it meant their will be no epic fight against the crazy nazi bitch.
But.. I was proven wrong, she and her men servived.
And apparently she can make illusions to have herself bigger (yeah, cause that's "totally" playing fair)..

But I didn't see too many of Pip's men die.
I hate seeing army men die in shows like this. Not sure why..

Well anyway.
That's all I got.

Let's await episode 7.
And see what the crazy nazi bitch has in store..

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EPISODE 7:

Wow..

Thats all I can say.
Wow..

I'm glad the Nazi bitch died so horribly, she was really starting to piss me off. All she dose is fuck with peope's minds, instead of fighting fairly.

And as much I wasn't huge on Seras back when I made these reviews orginally.. I mean, she's a good character, but, I don't know. Maybe the whole boob thing was kinda awkward to me, which is werd coming from a guy I know, but that's not over attractive to me, smaller ones are.. That didn't excatly make it any easier to hear her suffering, so.. Yeah..

But anyway.
Let's move onto the elephant of the room.
Pip's death.. THAT elephant in the room.

And as sad depressing as it was, I can't say it came as a complete serprise to me.
I read certain spoilers once, so I also am aware that Anderson dies, nd Walter backstabs them, so.. I'm aware of that.
So.. Yeah.

Still though, Pip has earned his rest, so. We can think of it that way..

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EPISODE 8:

Well.
We are almost done..

I can't say I really approved of Maxwell betraying everyone, but I came to accept it, considering we don't know all that much about him.
And, karma reached him, as it dose all Hellsing villains, or well.. All villains in general.

Anyway.
Even though I don't always like him, it's good to see Alucard again. It's just, not the same without him.
Like South park without Kenny, and Family guy without Brain.

As I said before, I can't say I was serprised by Waltor joining them.
I was told that it was gonna appen, so was just waiting for it.

There was one thing I didn't really get though, Major pretending to be a conductor..
Well. I DO get it actually,
But didn't hear any gun shots or screas, or explosions. And I'm pretty that was meant to the point, he's conducting the war sounds.. But I never heard any, unless it was being outnoised by the music of the episode (may it was the music itself he was meistering.. Who fuckin knows anymore)..

Anyway.
Anderson is still my favorite character.

He's not a good guy character.

But he's not completely a villain either.

He's just a guy who views vampires as the enemy.
The type of character that any other vampire themed as the protagonist.
He stands for the church.
And considering I'm Christian myself, I hold respect for that.

Though, I actually agreed with Alucard at the end.
He turned himself into a "thing".
That isn't very honorable when you think about it..

Damn it Alex, I was voting for you!

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9 AND 10:

Well.. Can't remember my actual thoughts, never saw them posted,, Just my end rating...

We're finally done this show.

All in all.
I give it 8/10..

I don't really have anything to say about the episodes themselves. defiantly intense.

Though, I guess I have something to say about Major's death.

I have to admit.
I actually kinda like the Major.

He's what I call a "true villain".
He dose evil, for the sake of doing evil.
But yet he still somehow manages to die in honor.

That's the perfect villain, in my eyes.

A villain who dosen't fear death.
But embraces, it.
Smiles at it..

And, he shall strangely be in my thoughts.

Anyway.

Please leave comments..



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posted by karpach_13
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin


Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert


If you want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy


Happiness is never stopping to think if you are. ~Palmer Sondreal


Most people would rather be certain they're miserable, than risk being happy. ~Robert Anthony


The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain


If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton


Happiness...
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9. You Forget 90% of your Dreams

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1. paint everything in your sisters room black see what happens

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Like, PINK! It sounds like a Barbie porno spin-off, LAME!

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My friend and I were bored so we wrote this, a parody of the song "Don't Stop Believing" By Journey.

just a small town meme, living in a lonely world, took the trolling train going annnyyywhheeerrreee

just a city meme, born and raised in 4chan threads, took the trolling train going anyyyywheeeeree

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