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#1:
"It would be years later before Henry, for some foolish reason, decided to cut down that old tree. However, he experienced great difficulty in doing this. Perhaps Henry should have broken up with the tree, then maybe it would have cut itself."


#2:
JUSTIN: I just.. I thought better of you.
ROB: For hanging out with Derek?
JUSTIN: Yeah, but, you know what.. Whatever, it doesn't matter. I'm gonna head out (leaves)
ROB: Waiit, what you got against Derek? .. Bro! Derek! Bro! Bro, it's Derek! BRO!! BRO IT'S DEREK!! BROOOOOO!!! BROOOOOOOO!!!!


#3:
"Matthew Santoro's teeth are so white the KKK have been trying to recruit them for years."


#4:
(WWYPTOTI post has picture of disgusting home made speggetti) Bon app a teeth.
Rob: Bon app a- Bon app a teeth, that looks disguesting as hell!


#5:
Submisson: (has picture of a angry Flutttershy at his bed) She is the one pony I want to remain a virgin. But something tells me she doesn't want to be a virgin anymore..
Rob: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? What are doing i- What is that, Buttershit!? I don't know, I don't, I don't know the ponies name! What are yo- The ponies pretty hot! I give you that! But what are you doing, it's not real! JESUS!!!


#6:
Submission: I put my hand down my pants to adjest my balls, now my palm smells! #Gross
Rob: #NoShit! #Don't! #Stop! #What-The-Hell-Is-Wrong-With-You-Wash-Your-Damn-Hands! And I bet you didn't, and bet it smells like the other guys fucking speggitti! Bon ap a teeth bitch!!


#7:
"Be true to yourself, or you never know what your get, right, buddy, o-boy, oh-pal,- oh-bubby, oh-boypal!


#8:
Submission: Who trying to get me pregnant? I'll abort it by summer.
Rob: I ......... (picture rolls in of cat leaning over tub trying not to fall in, with the meme "NOPE" over it)


#9:
Rob: This real life Romeo and juliet shit here!
Submission: I have been dating this guy for several months, and his wife is great two. But his visits are dropping from twice a week, once every 2 weeks, he says the only way he can see me more is to say he got a job and had the money to show for it. How much is worthy to give him to keep seeing him? Now before you call me stupid, this was my idea!
Rob: Than it's not! Not stupid at all, if it was his idea yes, but sense it's yours, your smart as fuck! (throphy clipart appears) You get the "smartest fuck!" awards!!


#10:
Man, there are lot of rules to not be a Temblr rapist. Not a regular rapist, a temblr rapist.. Which is basically, uhh, "having a penis".. At which point, it's too late.


#11:
Submission: My professer put his dead cat in the freezer so we had to clean it. #Gross.
Rob: If your a professor. And your cat died. And you put it in the freezer so others have to clean it.. You shouldn't be a professor!


#12:
Rob: (reads submission where it says something about the afterlife but there's so spelling errors)
Rob: ... (voice echos) WHAT!?!
Rob: Hopefully the afterlife provides a dictoranary.


#13:
"There are new headphones for sale, so you can watch my videos in public cafe's without getting the "stank eye" from some mother, cause she doesn't want her toddler to hear how some guy ate a man's face while touching himself. I mean, it's really quite innappropiate, bringing a toddler to a cafe, get your shit together "mom"!


#14:
Yes, the shave kit can go to anyone.. Even if your your a hermit, and you never leave the house, and you feel a little ... GOLLUM!! GOLLUM!!


#15:
With this shave your have a face as smooth as a baby's bottom.. And we all know how woman LOVE to make out with a baby's bottom.


#16:
Yes fokes, your beloved Matthew Santoro is dead.. And by dead I mean he let me post from his channel for the day.


#17:
Text: I'm hearing scary noises everywhere!
Rob (imitating her): Yes, almost like it's an old building, makes noises.. But it has to be ghosts, can't just be old building noises!


#18:
BECKY! (stab) BECKY! (stab) BECKY!!


#19:
Yes, I brought guns around school. It was fine though, I didn't tell them how to use them.. Annnnd, the cops ARE looking for me ...


#20:
Rob: (bumps hand on mic when talking) ... (to Mic) Fuck you.


#21:
Remember, you may not believe it, but anything is possible in a world so seriously strange.


#22:
Let's open the Serial Killer Files.




I could give them forever, but at the time my internet wasn't great, so gave me the excuse to limit myself..
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