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50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time you turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him or her that you’ve lost your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he or she has anything for body lice.

8. After visiting the bakery section, go up and down the aisles exclaiming, “My buns are squishy!”

9. While arguing with an invisible friend, you proceed to play tug-of-war over an item.

10. Hold your nose while standing in line at the meat department.

11. Ask the deli clerk how much potato salad it would take for two people to comfortably wrestle in.

12. Fake cell phone conversation: “Doctor, I couldn’t possibly have malaria. That was weeks ago!”

13. Start doing a river dance in front of the corned beef.

14. Tell the checkout cashier that you have to hurry, or your spaceship will leave without you.

15. Tell the checkout bagger that you knew him in a former life, and ask why he left without a note.

16. Ask someone if they saw your picture in the post office and remark that it was one of your best.

17. On a hot summer day, ask the manager if someone can help you clean the snow from your car.

18. Tell a customer that you’re from the future and have just zapped back for an historic vacation.

19. Walk around holding a copy of the Scarlet Letter while sporting a big red “A”.

20. Ask a clerk if you can test several types of deodorant before making a decision to buy one.

21. Using a stethoscope, listen intently to several coconuts in the produce aisle.

22. Tell one of the lobsters that you’ve brought the potion to turn him back into a man.

23. Run up to the fresh vegetables in the produce aisle and yell, “Boo!”

24. Play peek-a-boo with a little old lady while waiting in the checkout line.

25. When the clerk in the deli asks for your order, mime it.

26. Walk around smoking an invisible cigarette – and get great satisfaction from it.

27. Pretend to cook a meal using the pots and pans in the housewares aisle.

28. Bring a concealed whoopie cushion with you and activate it every couple of minutes.

29. Ask if anyone has seen your pet snake – he was just in your pocket a minute ago.

30. While waiting in the deli line, pretend to read an invisible book – be sure to turn the pages.

31. Hold up a can of bug spray and ask someone what type of cracker would go best with it.

32. Shout out, “OK, who squeezed my melons?!”

33. If you see someone offering samples, keep circling like a shark and snatch snacks at each pass.

34. Invite other customers to join you in a game of limbo using a pepperoni stick.

35. Go up to a dead fish on ice, sob and say, “We were supposed to be married on Saturday!”

36. In the middle of one of the aisles, scream, “Food fight!”

37. Stand in front of the ice cream freezer, look intently at it, and scream intermittently.

38. Squirm around a lot and shout, “Quick – where’s the hemorrhoid cream?”

39. Pick up bananas at random; act as though you’re on the phone and say, “Sorry, wrong number!”

40. Point accusingly at one of the cucumbers and say, “I thought I told you to wait in the car!”

41. Holding a flea collar, ask a clerk how you get the flea to hold still so that you can put it on him.

42. Look for someone holding a jar of honey, and then explain that this is actually bee vomit.

43. Every time you pass a particular type of meat, imitate the sound of the animal.

44. Walk down the aisles like a turkey, while opening your eyes as wide as physically possible.

45. As you pass the lettuce, turn toward it, fold your arms and say, “You’re out of your head!”

46. Pick up a jar of pickled pig’s feet and – in a distraught voice – say, “Oh, no! It’s Babe!”

47. As you pass people in the aisles, look startled and run in the opposite direction.

48. Bring a ventriloquist dummy and argue about what to buy for dinner as you go through the store.

49. Tell the produce clerk that the bananas are fighting again, and that they’re all getting bruised.

50. Tell the manager to call for a clean-up in the laxative aisle.
posted by blaise_jez
I found this on the internet.
Add up all of the letters in your first
name using this:
A=100 N=450
B=14 O=80
C=9 P=2
D=28 Q=12
E=145 R=400
F=12 S=113
G=3 T=405
H=10 U=1
I=200 V=10
J=100 W=10
K=114 X=3
L=100 Y=210
M=25 Z=23

60 points and under= not sexy
From 61 to 300 points= not too sexy
From 301 to 599 points= pretty sexy!
From 600 to 1000 points= very sexy!
From 1000 to 1500 points= very, very sexy!
1501 points and over= very, very, very sexy!

Example
Carly {my name}
C A R L Y
9 + 100 + 400 + 100 + 210= 819 points
819 points = very sexy!
found this on the net:

20 Ways to Annoy Public Bathroom Stallmate

1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?”

2. Say, “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t have put my lips on that.”

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Damn, this water's cold!"

5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh sh*t, my glass eye!!"

6. Say, "Hmm, I've never seen that color before,. . ."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly....
continue reading...
added by adultswimperson
Source: Google
The List

1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can you fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”
——————————————————————————————————-
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, “I’m...
continue reading...
1.1 out of every 8 couples married in the U.S. last year met online?

2.New York City has 578 miles of waterfront?

3.In New York, at the top of a skyscraper it is possible for people to see snow falling while people on the ground see rain?

4.Passports issued by the US after January 1, 2007 have always-on radio frequency identification chips?

5.Shopping is the most popular domestic trip activity by American travelers?

6.There are almost two million women veterans in the US?

7.The average American woman weighs 140 pounds?

8.The average clothing size for women in America is size 14?

9.The longest street...
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posted by EmzLovesCheryl
Hey, this is my piece for my drama exam, without the stage directions. I started writing it out on here as a way of learning it, then I thought, why no post it? I may as well, it's going to do no harm. :D
So here it is, its rather depressing though. So if you don't need to be depressed right now, then I suggest you don't read it. :)




[Give me a break. You’re going to go back to your friends and either forget all about us or tell a story about the hideous freak you met tonight. You don’t know me, if you did, you’d never think we’d be friends. I don’t have friends - except my brother....
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I'll do my best not to give out spoilers.. Would be hard though...


#1: JOHN MARSTON:
"Give the Devil my regards."
"Give the Devil my regards."


Lets start the obvious choice. The man we all know.. Johnny Marston.

When we met him. He a man on a mission.. Track down everyone in his old gang, so he can return to his family.. His sassy nature. Badass look. And introduction to 'deadeye', quickly regarded John as one of the most memable protagonists of Rockstar games. Extra points cause, Bill and Javier are expert fighters. John is just "that good" by comparison.

I can't really say much without spoiling the end of...
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Beauty and talent don't always go hand and hand, but Natalie Wood was a perfect example of both. When I last made my list of "Most Beautiful Women That Ever Lived" I put Natalie at like number six or something...Boy, was I stupid! I've been watching some of her movies lately and I couldn't get over what a knock-out she was. She is definitely number one! She had such beautiful dark hair, big doe eyes, pretty lips, an adorable nose, a heavenly complexion, and a perfect body. I've been having her in my dreams lately...I've got a huge crush on her! The other night, I was dreaming about her and...
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When we watch a show, we enjoy characters for their heroic actions, brave hearts, and winning personalities. We like them basically because of the kind, sweet people that they are. Well...THIS IS NOT THAT LIST. This list is about the characters who are known (and even celebrated) as downright jerks. Granted, most of these characters do have good hearts but what makes them memorable is their extremely flawed personalities. Whether it be cockiness, grouchiness, racism, or just bossiness. These characters have a place in our hearts despite their unpleasant personalities, because we just can't help but like them.
10. Maxwell Smart from "Get Smart".
10. Maxwell Smart from "Get Smart".
9. Alexandra Cabot from "Josie and the Pussycats".
9. Alexandra Cabot from "Josie and the Pussycats".
8. Vernon Fenwick from "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles".
8. Vernon Fenwick from "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles".
7. Archie Bunker from "All in the Family".
7. Archie Bunker from "All in the Family".
6. Helga Pataki from "Hey Arnold".
6. Helga Pataki from "Hey Arnold".
5. Miss Finster from "Recess".
5. Miss Finster from "Recess".
4. Binky Barnes from "Arthur".
4. Binky Barnes from "Arthur".
3. Barney Fife from "The Andy Griffith Show".
3. Barney Fife from "The Andy Griffith Show".
2. Skipper from "Gilligan's Island".
2. Skipper from "Gilligan's Island".
1. Fred Flintstone from "The Flintstones".
1. Fred Flintstone from "The Flintstones".
Dog
added by tanyya
posted by deathding
Welcome to my list! ^__^
Welcome to my list! ^__^
Ah, the Sega Genesis. Such a classic video game system that so many of us played when we were just kids, and it's time I started showing some appreciation for this fantastic system.

But before I do, for those of you who aren't familiar with the console, the Sega Genesis was released by sega around the late 80's and was meant to compete with Nintendo, and it actually WORKED!

Yes I said that, another human being company actually had a chance to beat Nintendo.

My reaction: &*#!$%*@&%$&@*W$%&@!!!!!!!!!!!!

But to avoid wasting my time and for you to get more detailed information, just...
continue reading...
added by levinstein
WARNING: This Video Contains Some Sensitive Themes, Strong Violence & Drugs. Viewer Discretion is Advised.
video
random
music
funny
hilarious
weird
stupid
dumb ways to die
metro
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