1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your "problems."
3. If they say they're Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Ask them how to spell "Milpitas." Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if you're male: Telemarketer: Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter & Siegel services... You: Hang on a second. [a few seconds' pause] Okay, [in really husky voice] What are you wearing? Telemarketer: [Click.]
5. Cry out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh, my GOD! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
6. Say "no", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"
8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?" Alternate: "Sorry, my floor is made of stone."
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "uh-huh", "rilly" or "how fascinating". Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them you couldn't just give out your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from WaterTronics." You: "WaterTronics! Hey, I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh...Milpitas, California." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business? The weather?!?" Telemarketer: "Sorry, we can't sell to employees." You: "Oh, okay. Bye!"
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, Shout or scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.
12. (Jerry Seinfeld version) Tell the telemarketer your busy at the moment and if they give you their phone number, you'll call them back. Telemarketer will say "We're not allowed to give out our number". You say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at work, right?" Telemarketer will agree. You say "Now you know how I feel!" Hang-up.
13. Breath heavily and tell them you were in the middle of having sex with your wife/husband. Tell them that the deal sounds good, but you are not waiting for another month to finish the sex.
14. Sound happy to see hear from them, and ask them if they have (a) insurance (b) a burial plot, or (c) a stock broker and that you are one.
15. Say "speak up" and continue to do so.
16. Keep one of those personal siren alarms near the phone.
17. Ask them if they are aware that you are with the District Attorney's Office, Division of Consumer Fraud, and that the conversation is being taped.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Alternately, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your "problems."
3. If they say they're Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Ask them how to spell "Milpitas." Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if you're male: Telemarketer: Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter & Siegel services... You: Hang on a second. [a few seconds' pause] Okay, [in really husky voice] What are you wearing? Telemarketer: [Click.]
5. Cry out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh, my GOD! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
6. Say "no", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"
8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?" Alternate: "Sorry, my floor is made of stone."
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "uh-huh", "rilly" or "how fascinating". Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them you couldn't just give out your credit card number to a complete stranger.
10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from WaterTronics." You: "WaterTronics! Hey, I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh...Milpitas, California." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business? The weather?!?" Telemarketer: "Sorry, we can't sell to employees." You: "Oh, okay. Bye!"
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, Shout or scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.
12. (Jerry Seinfeld version) Tell the telemarketer your busy at the moment and if they give you their phone number, you'll call them back. Telemarketer will say "We're not allowed to give out our number". You say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at work, right?" Telemarketer will agree. You say "Now you know how I feel!" Hang-up.
13. Breath heavily and tell them you were in the middle of having sex with your wife/husband. Tell them that the deal sounds good, but you are not waiting for another month to finish the sex.
14. Sound happy to see hear from them, and ask them if they have (a) insurance (b) a burial plot, or (c) a stock broker and that you are one.
15. Say "speak up" and continue to do so.
16. Keep one of those personal siren alarms near the phone.
17. Ask them if they are aware that you are with the District Attorney's Office, Division of Consumer Fraud, and that the conversation is being taped.
I saw this on cracked.com and I don't have Excel so I want to know if this is real...
1. Open Excel 95 with a blank work sheet
2. Go down to the 95th row
3. Select the whole row
4. Tab over to coloum B
5. Goto Help/About
6. Hold down ctrl-alt-shift and click on the tech support button
7. A window appears call "Hall of Tortured souls"
8. At the end of the hall and all the programmers names
9. Do a 180 turn and type excelkfa. Walk thuorgh the wall and see the pictures.
Sorry i'm just really curious about this.... :/ I'm probably a dumbass for this and have no life for asking, but still! I'm bored...
1. Open Excel 95 with a blank work sheet
2. Go down to the 95th row
3. Select the whole row
4. Tab over to coloum B
5. Goto Help/About
6. Hold down ctrl-alt-shift and click on the tech support button
7. A window appears call "Hall of Tortured souls"
8. At the end of the hall and all the programmers names
9. Do a 180 turn and type excelkfa. Walk thuorgh the wall and see the pictures.
Sorry i'm just really curious about this.... :/ I'm probably a dumbass for this and have no life for asking, but still! I'm bored...
Most of the world's most amazing sights have not been made by people .Nature has some of the best attraction.One of the most beautiful places is Niagara Falls ,which plunges into a canyon about 11 km long .It has a rainbow as the water chases the sun's light and crash down into the steamy canyon below .
In Arizona ,the Colorado River has steadily been giant canyon for about 6 million years.The valley is so deep and steep that nearly a million tourists visit and take the trip down its deep sides every year.
through the heart of South America runs the Amazon River.In some places it feels like a sea .as you can't the other side .Starting in Peru and continuing all the way across Brazil to the Atlantic Ocean ,It is the second longest river in the world after the Nile
want to play test game ?
If you want check this link
link
and if you don't just skip it
In Arizona ,the Colorado River has steadily been giant canyon for about 6 million years.The valley is so deep and steep that nearly a million tourists visit and take the trip down its deep sides every year.
through the heart of South America runs the Amazon River.In some places it feels like a sea .as you can't the other side .Starting in Peru and continuing all the way across Brazil to the Atlantic Ocean ,It is the second longest river in the world after the Nile
want to play test game ?
If you want check this link
link
and if you don't just skip it
HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -waves-
Now it's time to get seres i mean serues NO! uh..
SERIOUS.
Justin Bieber is dating selena gomez.
Well everyoe knew he had to date her or demi.
So have you seen the amazing sci fi movie sharktopus XD.
Now let's see......
I need to get note cards for this.
Well i guess i'm going to have to do this!
Meebo Emoticons
(*)
(pacman)
:-*
(loser)
(liar)
(beaten)
(O_O)
(o.O)
(so)
(panda)
(emo)
(rapper)
(sarcasm)
(ghost)
(hug)
Well i'm getting tired of that
PURPLE FLYING HIPPOS!
Now it's time to get seres i mean serues NO! uh..
SERIOUS.
Justin Bieber is dating selena gomez.
Well everyoe knew he had to date her or demi.
So have you seen the amazing sci fi movie sharktopus XD.
Now let's see......
I need to get note cards for this.
Well i guess i'm going to have to do this!
Meebo Emoticons
(*)
(pacman)
:-*
(loser)
(liar)
(beaten)
(O_O)
(o.O)
(so)
(panda)
(emo)
(rapper)
(sarcasm)
(ghost)
(hug)
Well i'm getting tired of that
PURPLE FLYING HIPPOS!
I started a Language contest on the answers spot in this group. Here are the winners:
Round 1) Winner: darkmintoutau
Language: Greek
Όταν η ζωή σου δίνει το λεμόνι, κάνει το χυμό πορτοκαλιού και στη συνέχεια, καθίστε πίσω και αναρωτιέμαι πώς το κάνατε. Και:
Είμαστε αυστηρότερο από ό, τι σε λιπαρές ουσίες τύπος στο καλσόν!
When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and then sit back and wonder how you did. And: We're tighter than a fat guy in tights!
Round 2) Winner: xXxJDloverxXx
Language: Basque
benetan behar dut off lortzeko webgune honetan!
I really need to get off this site!
Round 3) Open.
Round 1) Winner: darkmintoutau
Language: Greek
Όταν η ζωή σου δίνει το λεμόνι, κάνει το χυμό πορτοκαλιού και στη συνέχεια, καθίστε πίσω και αναρωτιέμαι πώς το κάνατε. Και:
Είμαστε αυστηρότερο από ό, τι σε λιπαρές ουσίες τύπος στο καλσόν!
When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and then sit back and wonder how you did. And: We're tighter than a fat guy in tights!
Round 2) Winner: xXxJDloverxXx
Language: Basque
benetan behar dut off lortzeko webgune honetan!
I really need to get off this site!
Round 3) Open.
(Try reading this story with a cowboy or a hilbilly accent)
Tiffany and Pete sat in the moon light.
"Look at them stars. So bright and shiny." Pete said. "Look more like squares to me." Said Tiffany.
"Nooooo, there stars." Pete told Tiffany.
"Hey that squares gettin' bigger.....and bigger....and bigger." Tiffany gasped. "That square looks like its hurrdelin' at us!"
"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Pete yelled pushing Tiffany out of the way of the falling star. The star landed where Tiffany was sitting but she was now a few feet from it. "YEAH! Gots me a square!" Tiffany squeled
The End.
Short but it was an idea that came to me in the shower...and the idea credit goes to my non fanpopping friends Liz and Tiffany who showed me the "Looks more like squares to me" thingy....any way what do you guys think????
Tiffany and Pete sat in the moon light.
"Look at them stars. So bright and shiny." Pete said. "Look more like squares to me." Said Tiffany.
"Nooooo, there stars." Pete told Tiffany.
"Hey that squares gettin' bigger.....and bigger....and bigger." Tiffany gasped. "That square looks like its hurrdelin' at us!"
"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Pete yelled pushing Tiffany out of the way of the falling star. The star landed where Tiffany was sitting but she was now a few feet from it. "YEAH! Gots me a square!" Tiffany squeled
The End.
Short but it was an idea that came to me in the shower...and the idea credit goes to my non fanpopping friends Liz and Tiffany who showed me the "Looks more like squares to me" thingy....any way what do you guys think????
When I resolve into the essence
Tlhat I mostly am‚
I feel a deep connection
With every living thing.
For that which most imbues me
With my identity
Is somehow in the other‚ too‚
So that when I look around
I see myself- reflected
Hidden is this union
Is the wonderful discovery
That if indeed the angels
Have wings-
Then so do I.
And if the essence of a flower
Drifts out of a gentle breeze-
Then so do I.
And if the midnight sky
Is radiant with light-
Then so am I.
And if the silent mystery
Somehow becomes revealed
In tiny dewdrops fair-
Then so willI.
For every lovely thing
Manifests the essence
Of which I am a part‚
So beware‚ my soul‚ beware‚
And move with gentle heart
Throughout theis mystic veil.
For if Love has left its imprint here-
Then so have I!
This is not mine‚ this was written by Donna Miesbach
Tlhat I mostly am‚
I feel a deep connection
With every living thing.
For that which most imbues me
With my identity
Is somehow in the other‚ too‚
So that when I look around
I see myself- reflected
Hidden is this union
Is the wonderful discovery
That if indeed the angels
Have wings-
Then so do I.
And if the essence of a flower
Drifts out of a gentle breeze-
Then so do I.
And if the midnight sky
Is radiant with light-
Then so am I.
And if the silent mystery
Somehow becomes revealed
In tiny dewdrops fair-
Then so willI.
For every lovely thing
Manifests the essence
Of which I am a part‚
So beware‚ my soul‚ beware‚
And move with gentle heart
Throughout theis mystic veil.
For if Love has left its imprint here-
Then so have I!
This is not mine‚ this was written by Donna Miesbach
WINKWAKER430:
Much as we tease each other, he's always been there for me. Sense the beginning, like Sean.. He's even more sarcastic than I am.. Usually I can't tell if he's serious or not..
DREAMTIME:
Oh how I miss her.. Only person here I considered a stronger friend that Wind..She was here secretly for a while.. But now seems permentally gone.. Doesn't really responde to my Gmail's either.. So just a memory now I suppose..
SEANTHEHEDEHOG:
I may get annoyed at his random videos, but he's always there, and still includes me in some of his forum stories.. So yeah..
COKETHEUNBREAN:
Well, we may not talk much, but he's always been there, so why not.. Aqua two..
THELEFERIS24:
Well, their relatively new. But the fact I added them to facebook should count as a huge thing.. So thanks for always being nice.. Oh, and why not add Nuri..
If I left anyone out, I'm sorry.. just used the first ones that came to my head..
Much as we tease each other, he's always been there for me. Sense the beginning, like Sean.. He's even more sarcastic than I am.. Usually I can't tell if he's serious or not..
DREAMTIME:
Oh how I miss her.. Only person here I considered a stronger friend that Wind..She was here secretly for a while.. But now seems permentally gone.. Doesn't really responde to my Gmail's either.. So just a memory now I suppose..
SEANTHEHEDEHOG:
I may get annoyed at his random videos, but he's always there, and still includes me in some of his forum stories.. So yeah..
COKETHEUNBREAN:
Well, we may not talk much, but he's always been there, so why not.. Aqua two..
THELEFERIS24:
Well, their relatively new. But the fact I added them to facebook should count as a huge thing.. So thanks for always being nice.. Oh, and why not add Nuri..
If I left anyone out, I'm sorry.. just used the first ones that came to my head..
