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As a proud visitor of forty-four of the fifty United States, I am a bit of a self-taught expert in amusing oneself on long rides in motor vehicles. Whether you are the driver, riding shotgun, or sitting in the back, there is a plethora of ways to make said drive go by much faster.
One way to take a long, boring drive across the never changing flatness of Nebraska or Oklahoma, and mold it into an enjoyable spending of one’s time is to engage in a physical fight with a sibling. This works best when you are driving and the sibling is in the back seat. It does not matter if the said sibling is behind you or the passenger, the fight (and the reactions of the others in the car) will certainly make the drive more interesting. However, this is not the only thing you can do to amuse yourself while behind the wheel. Something I have personally found amusing is to occasionally nick the rumble strip, possibly to the beat of the song playing on the radio. If no song is playing, drive on the strip itself, bobbing your head as if the sound is pleasant. Another thing you can try, if you are passing a car on a two lane road, is stay in the lane with opposing traffic as long as possible, shouting “chicken!” If you stop for gas, pull up to a pump that is on the opposite side of the gas cap. When it is time to switch drivers, point all the mirrors straight down before surrendering your seat to the probably relieved replacement.

There is a reason why everyone wants to ride shotgun, and many don’t realize what it truly is, like I do. When in the passenger seat you have control over the volume and temperature in the car. Adjust both as often as you like, based on the genre of the music or the popularity of the song in the minds of the others in the car. If you find yourself driving alongside a river, or on a bridge (and you have faith in your swimming and emergency vehicle evacuation abilities) wait until a treacherous point and gasp loudly. When going down a hill of any kind (and this works if you are driving, as well, by the way) raise your arms in the air and scream like you are at a theme park.

If you are confined to the back seat (and when on a long drive try to be at the wheel first, since after your backseat or shotgun antics you may never gain that opportunity since the others in the car don’t know how to have fun) there are still many things you can do to pass the time. One of my favorites is to kick the person who is sitting in front of you. I know from experience that it really ticks them off, and they will be sure to tell you this, probably in slightly less school-appropriate language. Yet another tactic is to reach around to the front and unbuckle the driver and passenger’s seatbelts. If you cannot reach them, look to see if the check engine light is on. If it is, announce this every ten seconds. If it is not, and you cannot reach the seatbelts, put on headphones and listen to music or a movie, and laugh hysterically every once in a while. If you can snort, do so. Look as if you cannot understand any dirty looks the others give you. If they voice their opinions, suggest that they lock you in the trunk so you can kick out the taillights and wave to other cars. (Don’t explain that part, however!)

There are many, many ways to have fun on a long car ride. Believe me: it really helps keep the time from dragging on. Many of these ways are undiscovered, so as well as the presented ideas, have fun making up time passers of your own.
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