Trent's pov!
I cant even think anymore...you see,Gwen,my wife for only 3 years,went to Missouri to meet her new boss for her art museum. but..everything didn't go according to the plan.
flashback!
i was giving our 4 month old baby,Elizabeth,her bottle while watching the news. nothing really good on. i burped Elizabeth and laid her down in her crib and went back to the living room. i`m not watching this boring shit..right before i picked up the remote a video of a huge tornado came on the screen. "by 7:20 pm. Tuesday,the death toll in Joplin had reached 124,making it the single deadliest tornado since the National Weather Service began such records 61 years ago.."the weather reporter said. WHAT! that's where Gwen is at! i literally bit my finger nails as i continued to watch. "..the tornado in Joplin brought the number of people who have died in the U.S tornadoes to 489 this year. also,there were many deaths around the down town area..the worst was by an art museum but i cant recall the name of it. only 2 deaths happened there and they were Mathew Simmons and Gwen Howard."i turned off the TV. she's dead...
flashback over!
just one more moment
that's all i needed
like wounded soldiers
in need of healing
time to be honest
this time i`m pleading
please don't dwell on it
cause i didn't mean it
I knew i should have gone with her! and i knew i shouldn't have said "who cares,cause i don't. you can do for whatever the fuck i care." after that she packed her bags and went to Missouri. we were still together...but until she died and when i said that. she did still care about me..but i don't know...she didn't get to tell me that she still loved me and i didn't get the chance to say i was sorry. now i`m just heart broken that she is gone. i don't feel like going back on finding a girl cause i wont. i will stay faithful to Gwen. i just don't know how to make it up to her.
i cant believe i said
i`d lay my love on the ground
but it doesn't matter
cause i made it up
forgive me now
everyday i spent away
my soul's inside out
gotta be someway
that i can make it up
to you now some how
I sat down on my bed. i just cant believe she's gone. i put my face in my hands and started to cry a little. nothing will be the same without you. Elizabeth wont even know her mom cause she's so young. i inhaled deeply. her scent still lingered on her pillow. i cant go on without her. i know guys get more girls after there ex leaves them..but i doubt they would if their love died. i would do anything for Gwen. but the main thing i would do for her is protect her. i didn't do a great job on doing that.
by now you know that
i`d come for you
no one but you
yes,i`d come for you
but only if you told me to
i`d fight for you
i`d lie,it's true
give my life for you
you know i`d always come for you
A picture sat on an dresser. i picked it up. it was me and Gwen in the hospital room. Gwen was sitting on the bed holding our new born baby and i was sitting beside her. we were both smiling at our sleeping baby. a tear fell on the glass and slid down the frame. i miss her so much. i regret everything i done bad to her. fighting,yelling,all of it. even my obsessing on total drama action. i`m so sorry Gwen..
i was blindfolded
but now i`m seeing
my mind was closing
now i`m believing
i finally know just
what it means
to let some one in
to see the other side of me
that no one does or ever will
Depressed you should say? i never wanted it to end this way. i shouldn't have let you died. but now all i do i cry. i loved you with all my heart. and your death is the only thing that broke us apart...
so if you`re ever lost
find yourself all alone
i`d search forever
just to bring you home
here and now,its a vow
Today is her funeral. i was dressed in all black and Elizabeth had her black dress on. when i made it there everyone was very sad and crying that she is gone. Gwen's parents came up to me. "hey."her dad said. "hi."i mumbled. Gwen's mom was to upset to speak. "i`m sorry about your daughter's death."i said. "and also your wife."her dad said. that made my eyes water. i wiped my eyes. "sorry,sorry."her dad said. "no,its cool."i sniffed. i gave her mom Elizabeth and sat down in a chair. i looked at the ground as some tears fell out of my eyes. "hey dude."a guy said. i looked up and saw Duncan and Courtney. "oh hey."i said. "we are so sorry that Gwen is gone."Courtney said. "not your fault."i said. "actually it is! you fucking yelled at her! you should be the one who is sorry!"Duncan shouted. Courtney pulled Duncan away from me. i sighed. i guess it is my fault. she would have offered to take me with her. but after i said those words..i think i didn't mean anything to her anymore.
by now you know that
i`d come for you
no one but you
yes,i`d come for you
but only if you told me to
i`d fight for you
i`d lie, it's true
give my life for you
you know i`d always come for you
you know i`d always come for you
I held Elizabeth close as they lowered Gwen into the ground. everyone was crying. Duncan was still glaring at me. it was all just horrible. i was sobbing a marathon right now. then it was time to say our vows. her parents were the first to go,then it was my turn. "i`d like to thank you all for coming to the funeral. it means allot to Gwen. *sniff* speaking of which,i know i screwed up when i said those hateful words to you,babe. you knew i didn't mean them. i love you with all of my being and so does your daughter. i hope you live happily in heaven...goodbye angel."i could barely talk from all of the crying. i walked back to my seat and sat down. everyone threw flowers onto the coffin. i gave Elizabeth a rose mary and she crawled over and tossed it in. after that they buried her. i stayed there when everyone left. i just cant believe i`m leaving her. i got my guitar and came back and stood in front of her grave. "if you let me try i will let you see again. if i let you die you will let me sleep again. would you sell you soul for a game you like to play? if you let me go i will burn your heart away.."i sang.
no matter what gets in my way
as long as there's still life in me
no matter what,remember
you know i`ll always come for you
After the funeral everything just went downhill. by that i mean so many flashbacks of the great and bad times i had with her pop up in my mind. but mainly just the good times. i remember like it was yesterday we met. i walked off the boat and talked with Chris for a second. then i looked at the group of people that have already arrived. a dude digging in his nose,a nerdy girl with braces,a slut looking stripper,a kind hearted African American,a party guy,a dumb blond,a punk,an accident prone,and wow,the beautifulest girl i ever seen. she didn't look like a team player,but i still thought she was amazing. something else has started and i really shouldn't be doing..but it's just all this damn stress...i have been cutting myself with Gwen's knife. i know its weird,but it still had Gwen's blood on it and i wanted to be able to still feel her. i`m feeling not so better..i still feel sorrow. i just want this pain to go away! not even my daughter's cute smile could cheer me up. i don't think i have a life purpose anymore. i know i have to stay alive because of Elizabeth,but i need Gwen too. someone to make me feel loved. i want to see her smile everyday..not anymore.
yes,i`d come for you
no one but you
yes,i`d come for you
but only if you told me to
i`d fight for you
i`d lie,it's true
give my life for you
you know i`ll always come for you
i don't want to live anymore. i ran down to the basement and grabbed my hand gun. i use this for emergency only..and i think me dieing for Gwen is an emergency. what about Elizabeth? i grabbed my cell phone and dialed my mom's number. "hello?"she asked. "mom i need you to come get my daughter."i said. "but why?"she questioned. i started to get choked up. "just please hurry."my breathing started get hard. "Trent James Howard,you tell me right now why i have to come get your daughter."she demanded. "fine,i`m going to go see Gwen."i said. "are you crazy! she's dead! why would you die to go see her?"she screamed. "what would you do if dad died?"i said. "well,i..."she trailed off. "exactly."i said. "but still,you have a daughter. who do you love more?"she said. i hesitated. "i really don't know."i said. "then don't kill yourself."she said. i saw Gwen in my head again. "i`m sorry,but i cant live without Gwen..i`ll miss you."i said. "TRENT! NO-!"i hung up the phone. i walked upstairs into Elizabeth's room. she was playing with her ABC blocks. "ooh da da."she put her arms up at me. i picked her up and cradled her in my arms. she yawned and started to close her eyes. i lied her down softly in her crib and tucked her in. i leaned down and kissed her forehead for the last time. "i love you."i whispered before i walked back into my room. i locked the door. "i`m coming Gwen.."i barely said. i aimed the gun at my head and pulled the trigger. i heard someone scream my name. but i couldn't see who it was. it sounded like my parents. i picked up the gun with little strength i had and shot myself in my stomach. i was dead completely now.
no matter what gets in my way
as long as there's still life in me
no matter what,remember
you know i`ll always come for you
i was walking in slow motion on a cloud. i could see light ahead. i was in heaven. "Gwen? where are you?"i was turning in circles trying to find her. "T-Trent?"a voice whispered. i turned around and saw my Goddess standing before me in a white dress. tears started whelming up in my eyes. "Gwen."i said. "what are you doing here?"she sounded pissed and excited at the same time. "seeing you."i put my fingers in her hair. she pushed me away from her. "why would you die!"she screamed. "i want to say the same thing."i said. she started to cry. "i died not on accident,but on purpose."she said. "why?"i asked. "because..i thought you didn't care about me and all you cared about was yourself,after you promised you would always care and love for me."she said. i was hurt from that. "i`m sorry Gwen. i died cause i knew i couldn't bare living without you. you were my wife a-and i couldn't get another one. and-."she put a finger on my lips. "i get your point. but you left our baby all alone?"she started to get more upset. i put a hand on her cheek. "no,i asked my mom to care for her."i said. she put her hand over my hand that was on her cheek. one of her tears went onto my hand. "promise you`ll care and love for me this time?"she asked. "i will always love you."i said. she smiled threw her tears and wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a sweet kiss. i wrapped my arms around her waist and held her close. i never wanted to let her go.
i`d crawl across this world for you
do anything you want me to
no matter what,remember
you know i`ll always come for you
you know i`ll always come for you....
I cant even think anymore...you see,Gwen,my wife for only 3 years,went to Missouri to meet her new boss for her art museum. but..everything didn't go according to the plan.
flashback!
i was giving our 4 month old baby,Elizabeth,her bottle while watching the news. nothing really good on. i burped Elizabeth and laid her down in her crib and went back to the living room. i`m not watching this boring shit..right before i picked up the remote a video of a huge tornado came on the screen. "by 7:20 pm. Tuesday,the death toll in Joplin had reached 124,making it the single deadliest tornado since the National Weather Service began such records 61 years ago.."the weather reporter said. WHAT! that's where Gwen is at! i literally bit my finger nails as i continued to watch. "..the tornado in Joplin brought the number of people who have died in the U.S tornadoes to 489 this year. also,there were many deaths around the down town area..the worst was by an art museum but i cant recall the name of it. only 2 deaths happened there and they were Mathew Simmons and Gwen Howard."i turned off the TV. she's dead...
flashback over!
just one more moment
that's all i needed
like wounded soldiers
in need of healing
time to be honest
this time i`m pleading
please don't dwell on it
cause i didn't mean it
I knew i should have gone with her! and i knew i shouldn't have said "who cares,cause i don't. you can do for whatever the fuck i care." after that she packed her bags and went to Missouri. we were still together...but until she died and when i said that. she did still care about me..but i don't know...she didn't get to tell me that she still loved me and i didn't get the chance to say i was sorry. now i`m just heart broken that she is gone. i don't feel like going back on finding a girl cause i wont. i will stay faithful to Gwen. i just don't know how to make it up to her.
i cant believe i said
i`d lay my love on the ground
but it doesn't matter
cause i made it up
forgive me now
everyday i spent away
my soul's inside out
gotta be someway
that i can make it up
to you now some how
I sat down on my bed. i just cant believe she's gone. i put my face in my hands and started to cry a little. nothing will be the same without you. Elizabeth wont even know her mom cause she's so young. i inhaled deeply. her scent still lingered on her pillow. i cant go on without her. i know guys get more girls after there ex leaves them..but i doubt they would if their love died. i would do anything for Gwen. but the main thing i would do for her is protect her. i didn't do a great job on doing that.
by now you know that
i`d come for you
no one but you
yes,i`d come for you
but only if you told me to
i`d fight for you
i`d lie,it's true
give my life for you
you know i`d always come for you
A picture sat on an dresser. i picked it up. it was me and Gwen in the hospital room. Gwen was sitting on the bed holding our new born baby and i was sitting beside her. we were both smiling at our sleeping baby. a tear fell on the glass and slid down the frame. i miss her so much. i regret everything i done bad to her. fighting,yelling,all of it. even my obsessing on total drama action. i`m so sorry Gwen..
i was blindfolded
but now i`m seeing
my mind was closing
now i`m believing
i finally know just
what it means
to let some one in
to see the other side of me
that no one does or ever will
Depressed you should say? i never wanted it to end this way. i shouldn't have let you died. but now all i do i cry. i loved you with all my heart. and your death is the only thing that broke us apart...
so if you`re ever lost
find yourself all alone
i`d search forever
just to bring you home
here and now,its a vow
Today is her funeral. i was dressed in all black and Elizabeth had her black dress on. when i made it there everyone was very sad and crying that she is gone. Gwen's parents came up to me. "hey."her dad said. "hi."i mumbled. Gwen's mom was to upset to speak. "i`m sorry about your daughter's death."i said. "and also your wife."her dad said. that made my eyes water. i wiped my eyes. "sorry,sorry."her dad said. "no,its cool."i sniffed. i gave her mom Elizabeth and sat down in a chair. i looked at the ground as some tears fell out of my eyes. "hey dude."a guy said. i looked up and saw Duncan and Courtney. "oh hey."i said. "we are so sorry that Gwen is gone."Courtney said. "not your fault."i said. "actually it is! you fucking yelled at her! you should be the one who is sorry!"Duncan shouted. Courtney pulled Duncan away from me. i sighed. i guess it is my fault. she would have offered to take me with her. but after i said those words..i think i didn't mean anything to her anymore.
by now you know that
i`d come for you
no one but you
yes,i`d come for you
but only if you told me to
i`d fight for you
i`d lie, it's true
give my life for you
you know i`d always come for you
you know i`d always come for you
I held Elizabeth close as they lowered Gwen into the ground. everyone was crying. Duncan was still glaring at me. it was all just horrible. i was sobbing a marathon right now. then it was time to say our vows. her parents were the first to go,then it was my turn. "i`d like to thank you all for coming to the funeral. it means allot to Gwen. *sniff* speaking of which,i know i screwed up when i said those hateful words to you,babe. you knew i didn't mean them. i love you with all of my being and so does your daughter. i hope you live happily in heaven...goodbye angel."i could barely talk from all of the crying. i walked back to my seat and sat down. everyone threw flowers onto the coffin. i gave Elizabeth a rose mary and she crawled over and tossed it in. after that they buried her. i stayed there when everyone left. i just cant believe i`m leaving her. i got my guitar and came back and stood in front of her grave. "if you let me try i will let you see again. if i let you die you will let me sleep again. would you sell you soul for a game you like to play? if you let me go i will burn your heart away.."i sang.
no matter what gets in my way
as long as there's still life in me
no matter what,remember
you know i`ll always come for you
After the funeral everything just went downhill. by that i mean so many flashbacks of the great and bad times i had with her pop up in my mind. but mainly just the good times. i remember like it was yesterday we met. i walked off the boat and talked with Chris for a second. then i looked at the group of people that have already arrived. a dude digging in his nose,a nerdy girl with braces,a slut looking stripper,a kind hearted African American,a party guy,a dumb blond,a punk,an accident prone,and wow,the beautifulest girl i ever seen. she didn't look like a team player,but i still thought she was amazing. something else has started and i really shouldn't be doing..but it's just all this damn stress...i have been cutting myself with Gwen's knife. i know its weird,but it still had Gwen's blood on it and i wanted to be able to still feel her. i`m feeling not so better..i still feel sorrow. i just want this pain to go away! not even my daughter's cute smile could cheer me up. i don't think i have a life purpose anymore. i know i have to stay alive because of Elizabeth,but i need Gwen too. someone to make me feel loved. i want to see her smile everyday..not anymore.
yes,i`d come for you
no one but you
yes,i`d come for you
but only if you told me to
i`d fight for you
i`d lie,it's true
give my life for you
you know i`ll always come for you
i don't want to live anymore. i ran down to the basement and grabbed my hand gun. i use this for emergency only..and i think me dieing for Gwen is an emergency. what about Elizabeth? i grabbed my cell phone and dialed my mom's number. "hello?"she asked. "mom i need you to come get my daughter."i said. "but why?"she questioned. i started to get choked up. "just please hurry."my breathing started get hard. "Trent James Howard,you tell me right now why i have to come get your daughter."she demanded. "fine,i`m going to go see Gwen."i said. "are you crazy! she's dead! why would you die to go see her?"she screamed. "what would you do if dad died?"i said. "well,i..."she trailed off. "exactly."i said. "but still,you have a daughter. who do you love more?"she said. i hesitated. "i really don't know."i said. "then don't kill yourself."she said. i saw Gwen in my head again. "i`m sorry,but i cant live without Gwen..i`ll miss you."i said. "TRENT! NO-!"i hung up the phone. i walked upstairs into Elizabeth's room. she was playing with her ABC blocks. "ooh da da."she put her arms up at me. i picked her up and cradled her in my arms. she yawned and started to close her eyes. i lied her down softly in her crib and tucked her in. i leaned down and kissed her forehead for the last time. "i love you."i whispered before i walked back into my room. i locked the door. "i`m coming Gwen.."i barely said. i aimed the gun at my head and pulled the trigger. i heard someone scream my name. but i couldn't see who it was. it sounded like my parents. i picked up the gun with little strength i had and shot myself in my stomach. i was dead completely now.
no matter what gets in my way
as long as there's still life in me
no matter what,remember
you know i`ll always come for you
i was walking in slow motion on a cloud. i could see light ahead. i was in heaven. "Gwen? where are you?"i was turning in circles trying to find her. "T-Trent?"a voice whispered. i turned around and saw my Goddess standing before me in a white dress. tears started whelming up in my eyes. "Gwen."i said. "what are you doing here?"she sounded pissed and excited at the same time. "seeing you."i put my fingers in her hair. she pushed me away from her. "why would you die!"she screamed. "i want to say the same thing."i said. she started to cry. "i died not on accident,but on purpose."she said. "why?"i asked. "because..i thought you didn't care about me and all you cared about was yourself,after you promised you would always care and love for me."she said. i was hurt from that. "i`m sorry Gwen. i died cause i knew i couldn't bare living without you. you were my wife a-and i couldn't get another one. and-."she put a finger on my lips. "i get your point. but you left our baby all alone?"she started to get more upset. i put a hand on her cheek. "no,i asked my mom to care for her."i said. she put her hand over my hand that was on her cheek. one of her tears went onto my hand. "promise you`ll care and love for me this time?"she asked. "i will always love you."i said. she smiled threw her tears and wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me a sweet kiss. i wrapped my arms around her waist and held her close. i never wanted to let her go.
i`d crawl across this world for you
do anything you want me to
no matter what,remember
you know i`ll always come for you
you know i`ll always come for you....
