Hi everyone, this is first fanfiction for Fanfiction.net, I’ve only ever written a hand full of fanfiction over in fanpop.com but I thought to myself , I might give it a shot.

I do not own or possess any rights over Twilight, Meyer does.
Rated T
Summary: Once Edward left during New Moon, Bella never fully recovered, in her depression she committed suicide, leaving Jacob behind. Will Bella live on forever in the life of Jacob or is it time to let her go. No Victoria.

            ~Chapter 1 ~

Many people can say that waking up in the morning is the most excruciating chore of the day, I however beg to differ. Sleeping for I is perhaps my most prized routine. A slice of heaven you could almost suggest. I sleep in order to experience my precious dreams continuously. I dream of her, her sweetness and her absolute beauty with her eyes full of the life she still had remaining. I feel her in my arms whilst I rest, she speaks ever so sweet and I truly hear her tender voice despite all. It brings me to my knees.

I’m solemn man these days. The days and nights are a continuously cycle, merging together, I can say with pure honestly that I do not know what day it is or simply what time of hour it could possibly be. Because after the first two months of losing her, time rather didn't matter, what really mattered was that Bella was no longer here, not even for me.

Looking up at my fan and thinking of the beautiful and warm dream I just experienced, I can’t help but wonder that perhaps “this is as good as it ever going to get”

‘knock knock’ My door greeted me.

Was it truly worth it, I’m still tossing up if am in a acceptable mood to speak with others.
‘Jacob’ The door pondered. The voice of my old man curiously and cautiously inquired from the other side.

Dad quickly catched on during the first few weeks, speaking was off limits, just the necessities, such as dinner or the pack needs you, which lately hasn’t been a lot, in modern sense I’m thought of excess baggage, the lost depressed kid that works effortlessly. Despite that I’m no longer fussed, I never want to leave my room, especially my bed, where she once slumbered beside me after a long session in my garage. Her smell is wearing off and so am I.

‘Can I come in son?’ Father followed on, with a really obvious streak of caution in his voice, as if any word that he pronounces may spin me into limbo.

Ahh, not really, but if he must, I like to be alone these days, it’s easier, talking about my problems was never my thing, only with her, she was my best-est friend.. Plus some more.

‘Sure, I suppose’ I grumbled with a morning croaked voice. It is in saying this I soon realized that I haven’t spoken in what seems a series of lonely lifetimes. Have I truly been silenced this entire saddened period? My throat cried in pain from lack of routine.

The door creaked open in response, it took a few seconds for my father is gradually make an appearance in my gloomed and daft shaded room. Authors of novels that Bella would read would poetically describe my room as rather a tomb then a space of personal sanctuary, a cell in which only the light lurking is within the walls deeply stored in the strongest vaults. But that’s dead now; Bella is gone so it’s totally irrelevant.

“Ah, Jacob, the pack called in this morning, there's an immediate meeting. They need you.” Billy spoke with an uncertain voice, shy almost.

What could they possibly want! If it’s not something, it’s always something else, why can’t things stay safe? Despite that the pack, Sam especially, are so paranoid about the unrelated crises. Let’s face it; the wolf-form shifting is powerless and protective less. If we were supposed to be able to protect, serve and support our loved ones and tribe then why did I fail to see Bella jump from that cliff on my own flipping turf while patrolling?

Sighing in defeat (Was there ever victory in this sort of situation anyway?) I rose to my feet, feeling all the blood ring out of my head, spinning me in small cluster of dizzy nausea, however this feeling was only too familiar to me by this stage. Scanning the room in its glorious filth, my eyes ventured for denim cut-off’s or any of the sort. I was out of luck, it is in times like this that I revise myself that due to my father’s condition that the house-keeping duties were bestowed upon me, thus the washing which was ominitley behind. Settling for a mud stained khaki pants I set off for the woods surrounding my shack.
*Shift* Out of Jacob’s perspective.


Leah of course the standing out low-ranker with the serious attitude Mal-function was making her thought well heard.
Sam: Settle it, I said calm it, everybody. ~emilyemilyemily~ I said can it Leah!

Paul: What’s the urgency? I mean I have a ridiculously pregnant wife chomping at the bit on my commitments Sam! Make it snappy yeah? ~RachelRachelRachel~

Sam: Patience, Where is Jacob firstly? ~emilyemilyemily~

Jared: Always the downer! Also waiting on Jake, I swear his hinny in slowing down as much as his loyalty.

Embry: Hey! Cool it off Jake put yourself in his fur for once.

Jared: It’s a little different buddy, I have a imprint, Jake don’t.

Embry: And that’s in the smallest difference, nothing you’ve felt for Rachel, Jake didn't feel for Bella, you have your imprint, Jake lost his love, you never know Jake may never imprint, it may have been the closest he would’ve had to an eternal partner. In his eyes, he did imprint on her.

Quil: Alright boys, I can hear him approaching.
                
Jacob’s POV

And so enough their thoughts came louder and louder from mumbles to whispers, due to my lack of communication and loyalty has dimmed my connection to the pack, thus the telepathy between us is harder for me. My supernatural eyes exposed me to ever-green of the post rained forest, it was alive, glowing, the grass’s mildew dampened my paws, it was beautiful at this time of year. I remember taking Bella on our hikes in this forest.

I prowled quicker, Sam’s black wolf now visual behind a distant fern. In the small pace of a few three steps I was sucked into what felt like a force field of dimension. The thoughts of the other pack flooded my mind, clamping my eyes in surprise. The distance of connection has been reached on full strength.

Seth: Man, am I tired; being awaken in what could’ve been the only time for sleep in three days is not a mood bonus. Better be worth it is all I can say.

Colin: You know, you keeping it from us any longer Sam is not at all doing any better to our curiosity. Just saying, you know.

Quil: Jacob! It’s about bloody time! I’m shocked Billy even bothered, good to see you nevertheless.

Sam: Jacob! Hurry it up; we’ve been waiting on your furry butt for 15 minutes, when I say it’s urgent it generally means hurry it up! Come on!
In saying that, I proceed to the right of Embry and Quil, my wing brothers and my closest buddies. Well they were.. Times are different now.

Paul: NOW! Spit it now Sam! What’s the news that dragged us all here?

Leah: Yeah, better be good Sam,

Sam: Oh shut up! Now, if ya’ll be quiet.--- Right, now, to put it simple and cute; Vampires are on the rise again in Forks.

Seth: What? You serious?!

Leah: This is a joke? Good one Sam.
Sam: I wish I was Leah. I sincerely wish I was, because everyone knows that means, I apologise.

Jared: This is bullshit! Sam, this isn’t fair, we have families now! We have change our ways from the last time. I have a two year old and 5 week old!

Embry: You don’t think it’s the red-head Bella told us about, you think she thinks Swan is still alive and finally coming for her?
I flinched at the sound of her name. I over-came repeating her name in my head. When hearing it from another stung at the wound on the heart, burning the rim. The possibility of this bellowed my head in defeat and disgust. This couldn’t happen, right?

Embry: I'm sorry bro.
I replied in silence.

Sam: Who knows, but my guts tells me that they have sensed us as well. I smelled their scent on the brinks of the border, as if they pick up wolf and hesitated. That’s why I doubt it was Victoria.

Colin: You don’t it’s the Cullen's do you? You know there are millions of vampires, maybe it’s not a real threat, like you said that it only went to the border and vanished, maybe, well you know, there’s no threat.

“You don’t think it’s the Cullen's do you?” It rang in my ears over and over. I lost my focus in my eyes, zoned out, tranquiled in racing beat of my heart, heating up in the cheeks of my face. Edward. Fault. Were the only words that came to thought. Bella, lost all faith in herself, lost her hope and reason when he abandoned her. For four years I’ve blamed him, resented him.

Sam: Perhaps, that opens the same door, If were the Cullen's’ they would have obeyed the treaty border, explains why.