Who was that? That name...The taboo of my life. "Bella, is that really you?", the boy said. It seems to be so close but my mind was so far. I felt like I was eight years old again. I felt a soft caress on my shoulder. It was so soft maybe I imagined it but my body reacted on instinct and flinched away from it. Though my mind seems to disagree with my body. Then did I turn and come face to face with those piercing green orbs that haunt my dreams, ensare my senses and send tingles through my body.
Edward... There it was, the shock of the moment made me gasp. In less than a milli second I was enveloped by his strong arms. "Oh Bella, Bella, I missed you so much. Where have you been?", he crooned repeatedly. By then tears were streaming down my cheeks. All the emotion I locked away all those years ago came crashing down. The relief, the hurt, the love and the despair. But through all that one emotion was stronger than the other. Anger.
I ripped myself away from his arm. The shock and hurt of losing the contact clearly evident on his face. "Bella, I...", he began but I silenced him with my hand. "If you are going to utter the word sorry next you are in grave trouble, Edward", my voice barely a whisper but all the more scary. He seemed utterly surprised, hurt and another emotion I couldn't quite place.
"But Bella I...", he began again. "No, Edward. Do you have any idea what I have been through. You said you would always be there for me but you weren't. When I got me first period you were not there. I was so scared. When Madam gave me away to some... to some," I couldn't go on. All the things that happened he wasn't there for me and now he acts like he missed me. My mind screamed that my actions were wrong but I have come a long way without him and now having changes everything that I thought I would be and have been.
I could see he was clearly surprised and his hands twitched at his sides, a nervous habit he has when he wants to touch something. Well in this case, me. I found my arms opening upto him, inviting him and breaking down inside. Even through my anger I couldn't bear to see him sad. The hurt I felt was reflected in his eyes.
And he openly accepted my embrace. He was clearly a foot or more taller than me. His large hands cocooned me. The feeling of protection, love and belonging was humming in the air. I broke out of the embrace to look at him. I still saw the boy I fell in love with. What? No!! I loved as a brother back then. But now his sheek bones were more defined. His mop was penny coloured hair standing out against the pale complexion. Always the most striking part of Edward. His lips... No! I am not going there. In the back of mind I knew he was handsome and he would never be mine.
The very thought broke my reverie. I shook his hands away. "Bella what's wrong sweetheart?" Sweetheart? Oh fate was really testing me. Only if that were true Edward.
"Nothing Edward. Just go. I have a lot to unpack." He looked around the room. He knew it was a lie. I had hardly anything to my name. There certainly wasn't a closet full of clothes to put away.
"Bella I don't understand why you are acting this way," he said in a whisper. "We have met after so long and now this. I don't know what I did wrong"
"Just go Edward. Please. I am very tired," both physically and emotionally I added in my head. Then I turned away from his glorius face. My head punding. I didn't want to look away but I knew I have to. If I let him in, he will leave me. But maybe this time it would be different. Sometimes the heart really does thing for reasons which reasons cannot understand.
The minute he left I felt the emptiness, the lack of warmth and the feeling of belonging. I broke down crying. I was sure he could hear my loud sobs but I didn't care.
The door opened again. "Edward I thought I told you to go," i sighed.
"I am not Edward," it was Alice who said that. The previous friendliness all drained away. When I looked the pure look of hatred shook me. She seemed to have gained height and that scared me.
"You won't listen to Edward but you will listen to me Isabella. You don't know half the things he has been through. You have no idea how he has been. He says you are his best friend, well I don't think you deserve him. You are probably the worst friend anyone could ever have," she shouted in my face and with a loud bang, the door must be, there was silence.
Cruel, loud and impregnable silence. Another bout of tears broke through shaking my entire body until I felt the very familiar darkness envelope. Before I fully blacked out the creak of the door brought a voice, my Edward, "Bella, please...," suddenly stopped then a little louder "Bella! Are you okay? Come on Bella. I can't lose you again. Please. Alice! Alice! Get here! What did you do?" With that I fell into the abyss of darkness.