i diddnt know how to take Edward patience and becoming obession when i saw him waiting at my home.
I dont know what was growing inside me, but i just made me mad, and angry and wanted to lash out. Was i jealous? OMG YES I WAS! that leah girl stole my boyfriend!!
i'd never been a bitchy girl that seeked revenge only because i never had any reason too, but this is jacob! and i could see that there were parts of him that still wanted me, and i wasnt going to give up, i still have my chance.
Maybe she forces him... i always knew i was a very lucky girl when jacob was the one that showed interest first.
But i had a bigger connection with jacob then any other girl. where was leah there when his mother died in that crash?
Or stayed on the phone all night when his twin sisters left home, and left him alone with his father. He was soo close with them.
No girl could grow something more powerfull then that with jacob then what we already have.
Parking my truck on the pavement just outside charlies house. Slamming the door, i wouldnt say by accident. But i expected it to wake up the entire neighbourhood, even the skeltons on their closests.
Fact: small towns have more secrets then anywhere else.
edward ran fast then i thought any other ordinary boy could, but he already as beautiful as a god, i bet he proberly was one and could do anything with his amazing perfection.
His perfection just made me mad, made me feel ugly, like i was be-littled by him. Like i diddnt deserve him.
was that it? Did he think Leah was prettier then me? Was it because i wasnt quillette and she was?
Was it some relgious custom? that you had to love within the culture?

"Bella, are you ok?" Edward was soft, but his lines in his forward were hard, he was like markle cracking. But he was like an angel.
OMG! why was he soo perfect. but i couldn't control it. and i wasnt particulary angry at edward himself, more angry at myself. But i diddnt want to admitt that losing jacob was all my fault.

"GET OFF ME! its your fault! JACOB DOESNT WANT ME ANYMORE! if you hadnt liked me, GO AWAY!!! GOOO!! ok!,"
I screamed. No doubt i spat. But i didnt have control over what i was saying , i was just saying it , but it was helping me realise my angry, if that were even possible. I just wanted him back.

"IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT ME HUH? THEN GO DOWN THERE AND BRING HIM BACK TO ME! MAKE HIM LOVE ME AGAIN!! AND WHILE YOU AT IT, BRING MY BABY BACK TOO! its your fault!"
I wailed again in the deepth in his face, his rador was alarming and he was tangling me up in his arms, but i fought. i was afraid to meet his eyes. i could sense the hurt.
i knew i was lying. It wasnt his fault. i just wanted it to be his fault. i wanted to be sure that it wasn't my fault.
Before to long i heard charlie rushing downstairs and jogging heavily now the driveway.
"BELLA!"
Charlie was like glowing to me. he was haven. i felt like a 3 year old that just grazed her knee and runs over to daddy for a cuddle. then pats her hair and tells them he will kiss it better.
I felt that charlie could heal this heartache.
I fell into him wrapping my arms around him tighter. i wanted to be safe, to be in spot. to stop moviing.
"Its ok edward, i sugest that you just go home, shes fine, im so sorry" Charlie spoke peacefully throught my hair.
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"Bella, you have to go school today! its monday! i think today you should apoligise to Edward. I will call Billy today. " He said on his way down the stairs. stomping hard to make sure i was awake. BUt he diddnt know i had been awake all night.
i diddnt want to go to school, nor did i even want to move. I wanted to stay in bed, warm as jacob chest was. The sheets will smells like him, from the times he stayed and we made love. Times like that made makes me think if they were even real? But really? There is nothing there to support them. My pregancy was over before it even began or that it even was. so i cant really use that as evidence.
His light spteps climbed up the steps once more. softer in rythem this time. He paused in door-frame, shaking off his usual dad pose.
he solemanly paced to the side of my bed, with his eyes on the floor below, i wouldnt blame him if he diddnt want to look at me, what with me not have slept last night.
"Bella, when i lost your mother, i couldn't nor did i know how to go on, she took you too. A man cant survive without their little baby girl. You were my little baby. I wanted look after you. One second i was holding you, then next you werent and there was nothing i could to get you back.
Ok im not soo good at this, from a girls point of view, but being a teenager, this heal faster and the ocean of wider and deeper. I know you loved jacob, but maybe it was a sign, and you read it wrong. So dont be unhappy, bella, you will move on."
"Dad, i diddnt just love him, i was bonded to him, he said a word that fully described it, i was imprinted to him, and i think you know how we were" i said throught the sheets, sharing at the wolf picture that balanced on my laptop.
The wolfs eyes were brown, like jacobs.

"Hmm, well by law, you have to go to school, here i will drive you, and if i can, i will pick you up early? want that?" he said in a new tone. But his tone diddnt sink into my mine.
I felt like my was skin was pourless, that no emotion could come in or out, i was a shell, that i could curl up in and hide away.
"No i can drive myself."


____________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Bella? can you hear me? "
Beep beeep beep.