Now, lets think back to a common time. Back when Capcom didn’t fucking suck. Yes, believe it or not, Capcom was one of the best video game companies around, with games like Megaman, Street Fighter, Resident Evil, Streets of Rage, Ghosts and Goblins, and Phoenix Wright. But, in the year 2006, Capcom released a new franchise called Dead Rising. It allowed you to fight off hundreds of zombies with amazing, and ridiculous weapons. It was gory, it was violent, it was cruel… and it was fucking awesome. Then, Dead Rising 2 came out, and when I played it, my mind was blown. The game was even better than the original, and it was a hundred times funner to play. So, now that I got Dead Rising 3 (And I pray that Capcom didn’t fuck this one up), I decided to look back at what made the game fun. The bosses. More specifically, the psychopaths. Now, each psychopath is a human enemy who has gone crazy, is using the outbreak to their advantage, or just plain evil in general. So, to celebrate, I will count down all the bosses in Dead Risings 1 and 2. No Case Zero, Case West, or Off The Record. Just 1 and 2, starting with my least favorite bosses to favorite. Now, with that, lets start.
29: Bibi Love (DR2) - Lets start with the psychopath that ISN’T EVEN A BOSS FIGHT!!! Bibi is a famous pop singer who, due to the outbreak, she is forced to make people watch her show by tying them up and placing bombs on their seats to make them watch. This would make the fight better except for one thing… THERE IS NO FUCKING FIGHT!!! Literally, all this psychopath fight is is a fucking fetch quest. Go get a drink, go get a suit, go lure some zombies near the stage. And, after that, you just do a shitty quick-time event mini-game. That’s. It. That’s the whole fight. Worse yet is that, you don’t get the satisfaction of watching her get ripped to shreds by zombies. Instead, you get to save her. BOOO. So, yeah, literally the worst psychopath in the game. Would have been better if there was, I don’t know A FUCKING FIGHT!!!
28: Cletus Samson (DR) - Now, this guy has the most boring backstory in the game. All he is is a redneck who owns a gun store…… That’s it. Though, the fight is good…. right! FUCKING WRONG!!! This guy spams his shotgun attack so many times, that you will mOre likely die before you can even get one fucking hit. Oh, and to make it worse, zombies will latch onto while you’re outside, making it impossible to move, and you’ll get shot some more. Oh, and if you think about going away to get something else to hit him with, DON’T BOTHER! One, you can’t even get close enough to hit him, because you’ll get knocked around with the shotgun, and, if you stop attacking for a short amount of time, HE REPLENISHES ALL HIS FUCKING HEALTH!!! Cletus is without a doubt the most annoying boss in Dead Rising… still better than no fight at all (Bibi….)
27: Leon Bell (DR2) - Wow, this has to be the most unlikable character in the fucking game. Not only does he mock you with every chance he gets, but he is easily the most cheapest boss in the game. First off, his backstory. It’s nothing special, just that he wants to prove he’s better than Chuck, yatta yatta fucking yatta. But, the fight with him is just bullshit. No matter what you do, he will always hit you with his motorcycle. Worse, is that he has to make a bunch of annoying comments to you. And, every time you get one hit off him, he will ride away, only to have you get cut up some more, leaving you saying “Wow, that was real fucking cheap”. So, yeah, if you ask me, Leon is a fucking asshole. Thankfully, he gets burned to death, with Chuck saying one of the few other cheesiest lines he will say after defeating a psychopath. “Yeah, you’re on FIRE”. Oh, that was cheesy. But in a good way.
26: Paul Carson (DR) - Now, Paul is nothing more than a nerd who got picked on, then decided to go around burning people. Okay, but that really doesn’t make up for the SHIT FIGHT!!! All this guy does is run away from you the whole time, throwing bombs all over the place as if he’s fucking Bomberman. He runs so fast that you can’t hit him with melee weapons, or shoot him. Your best hope of hitting this prick is to get lucky, and that is not a good thing… ever. And, worse, after you beat him, he gets caught on fire, so, you have to save him by spraying him with a fire extinguisher. However, its easier said than done, I’m afraid. But, unlike Bibi, you’ll wanna save him, because, when you do, he rewards you with a fucking molotov….. still doesn’t make up for the shit fight, though.
(Spoiler for Dead Rising 2)
25: Raymond Sullivan (DR2) - Wow, was this a disappointment. Sullivan, the whole time, was acting like an alley to you, who kept a calm head and wanted to do what benefit the others. However, it turns out that he was working for Phenotrans, the company that makes Zombrex, and who was responsible for causing the Fortune City Outbreak. Sullivan reveals that they needed to cause the outbreak because zombies held the insect, Queens, which are needed to make Zombrex, and without it, people would soon turn to zombies. Now, this was an amazing plot twist…. Sadly, it’s fucking ruined because of the crappy boss fight. The entire time, Sullivan is shooting the shit out of you with his gun and with fucking bombs, while you run around like a handicapped dog looking for food to heal you. Oh, and if you think your powerful melee weapons will help, think again, because Sullivan will kick your ass faster than Sonic the fucking Hedgehog, as he will punch and kick you like crazy. I do have to admit, his death is satisfying. Seeing him get sliced in half is… wait, Chuck said he wouldn’t get out in one piece. Oooh, I see what you did Capcom. You are very clever….. scratch that, you WERE clever… then you made Resident Evil 6 and…. Uh, anyway….
(Spoilers for Dead Rising 1)
24: Carlito Keyes (DR) - Oh for fucks sake, why can’t the main villain fights be good… anyway, Carlito is responsible for the Willamette Outbreak, after his hometown of Santa Cabeza was destroyed by the zombie outbreak, caused by the U.S. Government. Wanting revenge, he caused the outbreak, and planned to spread it beyond Willamette and all over America. He was probably my favorite villain in the franchise, as he was a villain that we couldn’t help but feel sorry for. Sadly, his boss fight, or rather, boss fight”s” suck. That’s right, he doesn’t have just one, but three boss fights… they all suck. The first one is where you and Brad (But, mostly you) Fight Carlito as he shoots at you with a sub-machine gun and throws grenades at you. The grenades aren’t that hard to dodge, but the bullets can get a little annoying. He was easy, but, he was the first boss, so, I’ll let it slide. What I won’t let slide is his second boss fight. The entire time, he takes potshots at you with the sniper rifle (To quote Frank). And they are impossible to avoid. You will always seem to get shot with these fucking things, and they take off so much damage, and since this is near the beginning of the game, it is not that hard to die. In fact, I died six times before I finally beat him. Maybe I just suck, but, seriously, why does the sniper rifle have so much fucking damage. And then there’s the third fight, which, isn’t much of a fight. This happens when your trying to defuse the bombs. While this happens, Carlito chases you with a fucking truck, as if you didn’t have enough stress as it is. It is almost impossible to avoid this truck, so, here’s my strategy. Destroy the truck first before continuing with the bombs. It’s easier and less annoying that way. So, Carlito, I like you as a character, but you fail miserably as a boss.
23: Isabela Keyes (DR) - Carlito, of course, sucked, and sadly, his sister didn’t fair much better. Probably runs in the family, I guess. Now, Isabela is helping her brother with his plans to destroy America with the zombie outbreak, but she isn’t as crazy as Carlito. In fact, she is probably the most sane of the psychopaths on this list. But, still, her fight sucks. She will constantly ram you with her motorcycle and when you’re avoiding her from above, she will shoot you. And, when you are not fighting her, she will just drive off, then come back. But, she may just say “Fuck it” and bail from the fight altogether. But, by doing this, it will result in failing all case files. This may be a glitch, I don’t know, but it’s still bullshit. She may have been a great character, but, she falls in the same category as her brother… and that’s being a great character with a shitty boss battle.
22: Randy Tugman (DR2) - I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE the fight with Randy. This fat fuck runs around the stage and hits you with his long as fuck chainsaw. No matter what you do or how hard you try, you can only avoid it by timing your jumps over the blockade right. And you can only hit him when he is out of breathe, but only a few times, otherwise, you get hit with the fucking chainsaw again and lose health. Next entry. NOW!!!
21: Antoine Thomas (DR2) - Now, this is where making this list got hard, because, theses are the psychopaths that had boss fights I enjoyed, so, I decided to go with Antoine, because, HOLY SHIT, is this guy hard to beat. First off, his backstory. He is a famous chef who was waiting for a food critic, but, since the outbreak started before he could get here, he went insane, and then started turning people into food. That’s pretty fucked up. But, like I said, his boss fight is hard. The entire time, he is throwing projectiles at you, which is sometimes hard to avoid, and then he will attempt to shove food down your face. But, try not to stay away from him for long, because, if you do, he will heal himself quickly, and you will have to fight him again… but, it isn’t as annoying as Cletus, at least. Still, Antoine may have been hard, but at least it was still a good fight.
20: Ted Smith and Snowflake (DR2) - Now, what is the first tag-team psychopath you meet in Dead Rising 2? A mentally handicapped man with a fucking tiger. This is a secret boss fight, which you can find in the Yucatan Casino early in the game. By going here, you will meet Ted and Snowflake. Ted is a mentally handicapped man who hates people, but loves animals. When the outbreak started, he started feeding people to Snowflake. Crazy, yes, but he was doing it because he cared for Snowflake….. Okay, it’s still fucked up, no matter what. But, how is the boss fight… Well, I’ll describe it as, take the Cletus fight, but, subtract the replenishing health, and slice in half the damage it does, and make two of him… that’s how hard this fight is. But, one of the best parts is that, you can actually tame Snowflake and give it to Katie as a gift. In video games, a good idea. In real life, oh my god, why would you give a little girl a fucking tiger.
19: Larry Chiang (DR) - Now, this guy is pretty much the original Antoine. He is a Chinese butcher who ends up turning people into meat to sell to people. Though, the odd thing with him is that, even though you can hear his boss theme after the cutscene, he doesn’t attack you unless you attack him. Odd. But, the fight with him is crazy. He charges at you, throws meat cleavers at you, chucks fucking slabs of meat at you and, if you’re not careful, he will place you onto a meat hook and then slice you up for a one hit kill… well, not a one hit kill, but, he will keep hacking you up until you’re dead so… oneish hit kill? Anyway, besides that, the fight is very.. basic. IT’s not too easy, but not too hard, but not boring or fun. Just average. Wish I had more to say, to be honest.
18: Hunters (DR2) - Now, as crazy as it is to get passed these guys, the just reek of unoriginality… we’ll get to why soon. Anyway, these guys share a similarity to someone in the last game (Again, we’ll get to that later). They are always outside, waiting for you to come by. They are always being quiet and can pop up at any moment, and when they do, they will not hesitate to shoot you. It’s fucking crazy, and if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s four of them, so that quadruples the insanity of them. Sadly, they are not the first to be an outdoor group that makes getting to the other half of the area difficult….. you all know what I mean.
17: Convicts (DR) - Now, there guys are even more deadly than the Hunters, because instead of one weapon, they have three. If they even catch a glimpse of you, they will drive as fast as possible towards you and run you over. Not only that, but, they will shoot at you with the gun on the back. And if you get close to them, the will hit you with the baseball bat on it as well. They make the game more horrifying, because you just want to get across, but they make it harder. And, what’s more awful, is that, even after you kill them, they come back. They are the only psychopath in the series to come back from the dead. They are unstoppable. Thank god these aren’t the convicts of reality, otherwise, we’d be screwed.
16: Kent Swanson (DR) - This here is the living equivalent of a sore loser. Kent is a photographer who you meet on the first day. He will ask you to take some pictures of him, then you will have to do a challenge, where you will have to take a better picture than he did. If you fail, he will laugh, mock you, and never be seen again. But, if you beat him, he will ask for one more contest. On the final day, you will get to meet him. If you get there early, he will have a survivor tied up and at gunpoint, who he plans to turn into a zombie to get a picture of him. But, after Frank stops him, Kent goes insane, and tries to kill Frank. But, if you get there later, he will have already killed the survivor, have you chained up (And half naked for some reason) and then try to kill you. Kent’s fight is pretty fun, as he tries to hit you with flying kicks and shoots at you. You could say he is the anti-Frank. Sure, he is a sore loser, but at least his fight was okay.
15: Jo Slade (DR) - Jo is an….. interesting character, we’ll say. She is a sexist cop who, during the outbreak, kidnaps young girls and uses them for her selfish needs. Now, she may be a perverted psycho, but, the thing is, she really isn’t that hard. All she does is chase you with her tasser, occasionally shoot at you, and try to hit you with her nightstick, which she will never succeed at doing. She is just real easy, especially since she is real close to the chainsaw’s you get after defeating a certain psychopath we will talk about later, which is a real powerful weapon. So, yeah, Jo may not be that fun to fight…. but she’s still more fun than Randy the fat-pervert.
14: Hall Family (DR) - The Hall Family consist of a man with his two sons who are trying to survive the zombie apocalypse by shooting whatever they see, including people. Now, when you think back to the shit sniper fight with Carlito, your first thought is “Oh God, just fucking kill me”. But, they are not as bad as you think they are. They just shot, but, the rifles don’t do much damage, which is a real sigh of relief, considering there are three of them. Killing them isn’t much of a problem either, but, they do run around a lot, and it does get pretty annoying at times. Their not to bad, but they’re not to good either. They are average, we’ll say.
13: Carl Schliff (DR2) - Now, Carl is a postman who just doesn’t like Chuck…. that isn’t new, by this point of the game. Anyway, he shoots at you with a shotgun and has exploding packages. That’s screwed up. Sounds hard, but, really, he is the easiest boss in the whole series. He has low health, he does barely any damage, and you could easily kill him in a second. Shame too, he was very enjoyable in a crazy sort of way.
12: Seymour Redding (DR2) - Now, Seymour really got under my skin with his opening. He is security guard who ended up using the outbreak to become a sheriff and started hanging people who he accused as looters. He will attacking you with a nightstick, a six shooter, and a… lasso? Yeah, he lasso’s you and then beats you with a nightstick. Is it bad that I find it amusing that Chuck is getting beaten while he is hogtied. Oh well. Anyway, Seymour wasn’t really that hard (To me at least) and he died pretty quickly, but, with Chuck adding another cheesy line, which is, and I quote, “I saw what you did there”. Sheesh, just put him in the next episode of CSI, why don’t you?
11: Roger Withers and Reed Wallbeck (DR2) - Now, this is another tag-team psychopath battle. Roger and Reed are two mediocre magicians that are trying to perform the “Worlds Most Dangerous Trick”, but always end up the same. Their volunteer getting sliced in half. But, after Chuck points this out, this angers Roger and Reed and the fight starts. It’s pretty fun, I’ll say. While dodging Reed’s canon, you will need to fight off Roger’s crazy sword attacks. It is actually real fun, but, sadly, short lived, as they are, you guessed it, pretty easy. Still, it is great fun to fight these guys with every playthrough.
10: Brandon Whittaker (DR2) - This is a psychopath that really works well due to his atmosphere. Brandon is a C.U.R.E member who believes that the only way to save the zombies is to turn the whole world into zombies, but, after Chuck tries to stop him, Brandon tries to kill him. Like I said, the atmosphere in this fight is real amazing, making it show how psychotic Brandon is. Also, his fight is insane, in a good way. He hides in bathroom stalls, and comes out only to attack, which is your only chance to do some damage, but he has some crazy attacks, which, I can only say to it is “HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU DO THAT WITH JUST A PIECE OF GLASS”!!! Anyway, Brandon is a crazy son of a bitch, and that’s what makes him great.
9: Steven Chapman (DR) - Steven is this high, not for his fight, but his quotes. I can’t do them justice, so, here they are.
“THIS IS MY STOOOOOORE”!
“You… came to vandalise…. my store…. huh? NOT ON MY WATCH”!
“HURT!? That’s just what this bitch said when she came to vandalise my store”!
“I don’t take kindly to vandalism. I won’t allow it. Listen to me, and listen good, partner. I DON’T ALLOW VANDALISM IN MY STOOOOOOOOOOORE”!!!
“My store…. my…. store. Who will run my store when I’m gone…. My store…. my food…. my sales…. my… customers…. Have a nice day”.
“..................... CLEAN UP! REGISTER 6”!
Need I say more?
8: Sean Keanan (DR) - Now, it is amazing how crazy his fight is. Sean is the leader for a cult called True Eye, who believe that they must kill people to cleanse their tainted blood. The cult consist of a bunch of guys wearing green masks and raincoats….. Okay. So, when you meet him again, he will then fight you, and by god, its fucking crazy. He jumps around all over the place, and swings his sword everywhere, and, let me remind you, he is fucking sixty two. What kind of sixty two year old man is this limber. Anyway, after you kill him, you get a gruesome death… or at least, gruesome at first, but really, a mannequin? Imagine how that would be in the obituaries. Sean Keanan. Died from a fucking mannequin. Still, it is a fun fight. Crazy as shit, but fun.
7: Amber and Crystal Bailey (DR2) - Now, this is the last of the tag-team psychopath fights, and what a great way to finish it up with. Amber and Crystal are TK’s helpers who are also Rebecca Chan’s source. However, they then use her to get to Chuck in order to kill him. Throughout the fight, they hide behind found walls, and come out at random, making the fight more mysterious. I would compare it to The End from Metal Gear Solid 3, but, this fight isn’t THAT great. They also swing their sword like crazy, making it odd how and when to dodge. Also, throughout the fight, they are speaking in a rather suggestive way…. okay. Still, this fight is damn good fun, and, it’s crazy, in the words of SNI, “How can something so hot be so fucking painful”. That quote is no where more true than here.
(Spoilers for Dead Rising 2)
6: Tyrone King (DR2) - Now, Tyrone King is Dead Rising 2’s main villain. He was working with Phenotrans to get the zombies out, but, he got greedy and began to rob all the casinos for more money. He then framed Chuck for the outbreak and then began to plan his escape. Sure, its better to let him die, and it is the canon ending, but when you get Overtime Mode, you can get to the real fight. After you get knocked out by TK, you wake up in the Arena, where he has you, Stacy, and Katie hanging from a rope. After you climb back up, you then fight TK. You will notice that all your weapons are gone, making the fight more intense. You will also need to keep your eye on Stacy and Katie and make sure they do not fall down to the zombies and get eaten. This fight is just crazy, but, goddamn, its so satisfying to beat up TK. It’s about time I finally get to kick his ass.
5: Sgt. Dwight Boykin (DR2) - What I like about Boykin is that, unlike the other psychopaths, you actually get to see him slip into insanity. He comes in to save the survivors, only to watch all his men get murdered by gas zombies, which are much stronger than the original zombies. After this, he heads to the Underground, kidnaps Rebecca, and then starts fighting off the zombies… while talking to dead bodies. Yep, he’s crazy. Also, he is one of the hardest fights in the game. You will need at least some high healing food for this fight, because the Underground is scarce with food. Also, bullets won’t work, because he has a bullet proof vest. Your best option is melee weapons. Be careful, though, as he can shoot at you with his machine gun, throw grenades, and just punch you. Boykin has to be the most developed psychopath of them all, and he is awesome to boot.
4: Slappy (DR2) - Now, Slappy has to be the least craziest psycho in Dead Rising, minus those involved with the story. Why? Well, lets start with his backstory. He was a man who worked at a kids store, when he met a girl, Louise, who he was going to go on a date with, but, once the outbreak came, she died, driving Slappy mad. He has a flamethrower which does massive damage and he rolls around on his skates, and, no matter where you go in the Palisades Mall, he will always chase you. Also, if you listen to his boss theme, you will hear voices, which adds well to Slappy, who is on the brink of insanity. Now, the reason Slappy isn’t completely insane is because he isn’t wanting to kill everyone or anything like that, he is just angry because he lost a loved one. Anyone would do that in that situation (We’ll get to that later). So, Slappy is a pretty awesome boss, but, he just barely lost his place in the top 3.
3: Adam Macintyre (DR) - Now, this is where shit gets real. Adam is a clown who worked at the mall in the Wonderland Plaza, but, when the outbreak came, he lost his mind. He is actually the most intelligent psychopath, as he notices the noise of the Space Rider ride keep the zombie, and uses it to his advantage. He is like the clown version of Hannibal. But, his fight is amazing. He chases you around the Wonderland Plaza with two mini chainsaws, throws knives at you, makes exploding balloons around the area, can block bullets, and he breathes fire. Also, once you kill him, its no doubt he has one of the most gruesome deaths in video games, as he falls onto his chainsaws and laughs like a psycho- Oh, right.
(Spoilers for Dead Rising)
2: Brock Mason (DR) - Now, Brock may have come out of bumfuck nowhere, but he is still an amazing psychopath. He is the leader of the Special Forces and he lead the Santa Cabeza Clean-Up Operation, where he killed not only zombies, but people as well. He also did not care for the deaths of human life in the Willamette cleanup. He has no care for human life and finds their deaths nothing more than a mission. The first fight is a rail shooter where you have to shoot obvious weak spots on the tank…. Okay, a minor bump. But, the second half is so much better. You then engage in a hand to hand fight on top of a tank surrounded by zombies. Holy shit, this is awesome. This shows how much you have learned throughout playing the game. It’s fucking amazing, I must say. Also, his death is just… amazing. But, who could be better?... Well….
1: Cliff Hudson (DR) - Now, how did this guy manage to surpass all the others. Simple. He has an amazing backstory, he has a great purpose, an awesome boss fight, and is just an overall awesome psychopath. He was a Vietnam War veteran who was in Willamette with his granddaughter when the outbreak started. After his granddaughter died, he had flashbacks about the war, and then lost his mind, killing, decapitating, and hanging zombies upside down in the hardware store, and accusing everyone he met of being Vehicons. His fight is one of the craziest and one of the funniest, as if you are really in the Vietnam War. He throws smoke bombs, which stun you, and grenades, he runs around with a bloody machete, hides in holes around the area, and can come at random spots. Also, he is one of the psychopaths that we can feel sorry for, as, once you beat him, he snaps back into reality, and tell you what happened to his granddaughter and why he went crazy. It’s real sad for that to happen. His fight is awesome, his backstory is awesome, his purpose is awesome, and that is why Cliff is my favorite psychopath in Dead Rising.
Well, there you have it. My opinion on the psychopaths of Dead Rising. Do you agree with it? Tell me what you think. With that, I will see you all later. I’m gonna go play Dead Rising 3 (I swear, Capcom had better not fucked it up)
29: Bibi Love (DR2) - Lets start with the psychopath that ISN’T EVEN A BOSS FIGHT!!! Bibi is a famous pop singer who, due to the outbreak, she is forced to make people watch her show by tying them up and placing bombs on their seats to make them watch. This would make the fight better except for one thing… THERE IS NO FUCKING FIGHT!!! Literally, all this psychopath fight is is a fucking fetch quest. Go get a drink, go get a suit, go lure some zombies near the stage. And, after that, you just do a shitty quick-time event mini-game. That’s. It. That’s the whole fight. Worse yet is that, you don’t get the satisfaction of watching her get ripped to shreds by zombies. Instead, you get to save her. BOOO. So, yeah, literally the worst psychopath in the game. Would have been better if there was, I don’t know A FUCKING FIGHT!!!
28: Cletus Samson (DR) - Now, this guy has the most boring backstory in the game. All he is is a redneck who owns a gun store…… That’s it. Though, the fight is good…. right! FUCKING WRONG!!! This guy spams his shotgun attack so many times, that you will mOre likely die before you can even get one fucking hit. Oh, and to make it worse, zombies will latch onto while you’re outside, making it impossible to move, and you’ll get shot some more. Oh, and if you think about going away to get something else to hit him with, DON’T BOTHER! One, you can’t even get close enough to hit him, because you’ll get knocked around with the shotgun, and, if you stop attacking for a short amount of time, HE REPLENISHES ALL HIS FUCKING HEALTH!!! Cletus is without a doubt the most annoying boss in Dead Rising… still better than no fight at all (Bibi….)
27: Leon Bell (DR2) - Wow, this has to be the most unlikable character in the fucking game. Not only does he mock you with every chance he gets, but he is easily the most cheapest boss in the game. First off, his backstory. It’s nothing special, just that he wants to prove he’s better than Chuck, yatta yatta fucking yatta. But, the fight with him is just bullshit. No matter what you do, he will always hit you with his motorcycle. Worse, is that he has to make a bunch of annoying comments to you. And, every time you get one hit off him, he will ride away, only to have you get cut up some more, leaving you saying “Wow, that was real fucking cheap”. So, yeah, if you ask me, Leon is a fucking asshole. Thankfully, he gets burned to death, with Chuck saying one of the few other cheesiest lines he will say after defeating a psychopath. “Yeah, you’re on FIRE”. Oh, that was cheesy. But in a good way.
26: Paul Carson (DR) - Now, Paul is nothing more than a nerd who got picked on, then decided to go around burning people. Okay, but that really doesn’t make up for the SHIT FIGHT!!! All this guy does is run away from you the whole time, throwing bombs all over the place as if he’s fucking Bomberman. He runs so fast that you can’t hit him with melee weapons, or shoot him. Your best hope of hitting this prick is to get lucky, and that is not a good thing… ever. And, worse, after you beat him, he gets caught on fire, so, you have to save him by spraying him with a fire extinguisher. However, its easier said than done, I’m afraid. But, unlike Bibi, you’ll wanna save him, because, when you do, he rewards you with a fucking molotov….. still doesn’t make up for the shit fight, though.
(Spoiler for Dead Rising 2)
25: Raymond Sullivan (DR2) - Wow, was this a disappointment. Sullivan, the whole time, was acting like an alley to you, who kept a calm head and wanted to do what benefit the others. However, it turns out that he was working for Phenotrans, the company that makes Zombrex, and who was responsible for causing the Fortune City Outbreak. Sullivan reveals that they needed to cause the outbreak because zombies held the insect, Queens, which are needed to make Zombrex, and without it, people would soon turn to zombies. Now, this was an amazing plot twist…. Sadly, it’s fucking ruined because of the crappy boss fight. The entire time, Sullivan is shooting the shit out of you with his gun and with fucking bombs, while you run around like a handicapped dog looking for food to heal you. Oh, and if you think your powerful melee weapons will help, think again, because Sullivan will kick your ass faster than Sonic the fucking Hedgehog, as he will punch and kick you like crazy. I do have to admit, his death is satisfying. Seeing him get sliced in half is… wait, Chuck said he wouldn’t get out in one piece. Oooh, I see what you did Capcom. You are very clever….. scratch that, you WERE clever… then you made Resident Evil 6 and…. Uh, anyway….
(Spoilers for Dead Rising 1)
24: Carlito Keyes (DR) - Oh for fucks sake, why can’t the main villain fights be good… anyway, Carlito is responsible for the Willamette Outbreak, after his hometown of Santa Cabeza was destroyed by the zombie outbreak, caused by the U.S. Government. Wanting revenge, he caused the outbreak, and planned to spread it beyond Willamette and all over America. He was probably my favorite villain in the franchise, as he was a villain that we couldn’t help but feel sorry for. Sadly, his boss fight, or rather, boss fight”s” suck. That’s right, he doesn’t have just one, but three boss fights… they all suck. The first one is where you and Brad (But, mostly you) Fight Carlito as he shoots at you with a sub-machine gun and throws grenades at you. The grenades aren’t that hard to dodge, but the bullets can get a little annoying. He was easy, but, he was the first boss, so, I’ll let it slide. What I won’t let slide is his second boss fight. The entire time, he takes potshots at you with the sniper rifle (To quote Frank). And they are impossible to avoid. You will always seem to get shot with these fucking things, and they take off so much damage, and since this is near the beginning of the game, it is not that hard to die. In fact, I died six times before I finally beat him. Maybe I just suck, but, seriously, why does the sniper rifle have so much fucking damage. And then there’s the third fight, which, isn’t much of a fight. This happens when your trying to defuse the bombs. While this happens, Carlito chases you with a fucking truck, as if you didn’t have enough stress as it is. It is almost impossible to avoid this truck, so, here’s my strategy. Destroy the truck first before continuing with the bombs. It’s easier and less annoying that way. So, Carlito, I like you as a character, but you fail miserably as a boss.
23: Isabela Keyes (DR) - Carlito, of course, sucked, and sadly, his sister didn’t fair much better. Probably runs in the family, I guess. Now, Isabela is helping her brother with his plans to destroy America with the zombie outbreak, but she isn’t as crazy as Carlito. In fact, she is probably the most sane of the psychopaths on this list. But, still, her fight sucks. She will constantly ram you with her motorcycle and when you’re avoiding her from above, she will shoot you. And, when you are not fighting her, she will just drive off, then come back. But, she may just say “Fuck it” and bail from the fight altogether. But, by doing this, it will result in failing all case files. This may be a glitch, I don’t know, but it’s still bullshit. She may have been a great character, but, she falls in the same category as her brother… and that’s being a great character with a shitty boss battle.
22: Randy Tugman (DR2) - I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE the fight with Randy. This fat fuck runs around the stage and hits you with his long as fuck chainsaw. No matter what you do or how hard you try, you can only avoid it by timing your jumps over the blockade right. And you can only hit him when he is out of breathe, but only a few times, otherwise, you get hit with the fucking chainsaw again and lose health. Next entry. NOW!!!
21: Antoine Thomas (DR2) - Now, this is where making this list got hard, because, theses are the psychopaths that had boss fights I enjoyed, so, I decided to go with Antoine, because, HOLY SHIT, is this guy hard to beat. First off, his backstory. He is a famous chef who was waiting for a food critic, but, since the outbreak started before he could get here, he went insane, and then started turning people into food. That’s pretty fucked up. But, like I said, his boss fight is hard. The entire time, he is throwing projectiles at you, which is sometimes hard to avoid, and then he will attempt to shove food down your face. But, try not to stay away from him for long, because, if you do, he will heal himself quickly, and you will have to fight him again… but, it isn’t as annoying as Cletus, at least. Still, Antoine may have been hard, but at least it was still a good fight.
20: Ted Smith and Snowflake (DR2) - Now, what is the first tag-team psychopath you meet in Dead Rising 2? A mentally handicapped man with a fucking tiger. This is a secret boss fight, which you can find in the Yucatan Casino early in the game. By going here, you will meet Ted and Snowflake. Ted is a mentally handicapped man who hates people, but loves animals. When the outbreak started, he started feeding people to Snowflake. Crazy, yes, but he was doing it because he cared for Snowflake….. Okay, it’s still fucked up, no matter what. But, how is the boss fight… Well, I’ll describe it as, take the Cletus fight, but, subtract the replenishing health, and slice in half the damage it does, and make two of him… that’s how hard this fight is. But, one of the best parts is that, you can actually tame Snowflake and give it to Katie as a gift. In video games, a good idea. In real life, oh my god, why would you give a little girl a fucking tiger.
19: Larry Chiang (DR) - Now, this guy is pretty much the original Antoine. He is a Chinese butcher who ends up turning people into meat to sell to people. Though, the odd thing with him is that, even though you can hear his boss theme after the cutscene, he doesn’t attack you unless you attack him. Odd. But, the fight with him is crazy. He charges at you, throws meat cleavers at you, chucks fucking slabs of meat at you and, if you’re not careful, he will place you onto a meat hook and then slice you up for a one hit kill… well, not a one hit kill, but, he will keep hacking you up until you’re dead so… oneish hit kill? Anyway, besides that, the fight is very.. basic. IT’s not too easy, but not too hard, but not boring or fun. Just average. Wish I had more to say, to be honest.
18: Hunters (DR2) - Now, as crazy as it is to get passed these guys, the just reek of unoriginality… we’ll get to why soon. Anyway, these guys share a similarity to someone in the last game (Again, we’ll get to that later). They are always outside, waiting for you to come by. They are always being quiet and can pop up at any moment, and when they do, they will not hesitate to shoot you. It’s fucking crazy, and if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s four of them, so that quadruples the insanity of them. Sadly, they are not the first to be an outdoor group that makes getting to the other half of the area difficult….. you all know what I mean.
17: Convicts (DR) - Now, there guys are even more deadly than the Hunters, because instead of one weapon, they have three. If they even catch a glimpse of you, they will drive as fast as possible towards you and run you over. Not only that, but, they will shoot at you with the gun on the back. And if you get close to them, the will hit you with the baseball bat on it as well. They make the game more horrifying, because you just want to get across, but they make it harder. And, what’s more awful, is that, even after you kill them, they come back. They are the only psychopath in the series to come back from the dead. They are unstoppable. Thank god these aren’t the convicts of reality, otherwise, we’d be screwed.
16: Kent Swanson (DR) - This here is the living equivalent of a sore loser. Kent is a photographer who you meet on the first day. He will ask you to take some pictures of him, then you will have to do a challenge, where you will have to take a better picture than he did. If you fail, he will laugh, mock you, and never be seen again. But, if you beat him, he will ask for one more contest. On the final day, you will get to meet him. If you get there early, he will have a survivor tied up and at gunpoint, who he plans to turn into a zombie to get a picture of him. But, after Frank stops him, Kent goes insane, and tries to kill Frank. But, if you get there later, he will have already killed the survivor, have you chained up (And half naked for some reason) and then try to kill you. Kent’s fight is pretty fun, as he tries to hit you with flying kicks and shoots at you. You could say he is the anti-Frank. Sure, he is a sore loser, but at least his fight was okay.
15: Jo Slade (DR) - Jo is an….. interesting character, we’ll say. She is a sexist cop who, during the outbreak, kidnaps young girls and uses them for her selfish needs. Now, she may be a perverted psycho, but, the thing is, she really isn’t that hard. All she does is chase you with her tasser, occasionally shoot at you, and try to hit you with her nightstick, which she will never succeed at doing. She is just real easy, especially since she is real close to the chainsaw’s you get after defeating a certain psychopath we will talk about later, which is a real powerful weapon. So, yeah, Jo may not be that fun to fight…. but she’s still more fun than Randy the fat-pervert.
14: Hall Family (DR) - The Hall Family consist of a man with his two sons who are trying to survive the zombie apocalypse by shooting whatever they see, including people. Now, when you think back to the shit sniper fight with Carlito, your first thought is “Oh God, just fucking kill me”. But, they are not as bad as you think they are. They just shot, but, the rifles don’t do much damage, which is a real sigh of relief, considering there are three of them. Killing them isn’t much of a problem either, but, they do run around a lot, and it does get pretty annoying at times. Their not to bad, but they’re not to good either. They are average, we’ll say.
13: Carl Schliff (DR2) - Now, Carl is a postman who just doesn’t like Chuck…. that isn’t new, by this point of the game. Anyway, he shoots at you with a shotgun and has exploding packages. That’s screwed up. Sounds hard, but, really, he is the easiest boss in the whole series. He has low health, he does barely any damage, and you could easily kill him in a second. Shame too, he was very enjoyable in a crazy sort of way.
12: Seymour Redding (DR2) - Now, Seymour really got under my skin with his opening. He is security guard who ended up using the outbreak to become a sheriff and started hanging people who he accused as looters. He will attacking you with a nightstick, a six shooter, and a… lasso? Yeah, he lasso’s you and then beats you with a nightstick. Is it bad that I find it amusing that Chuck is getting beaten while he is hogtied. Oh well. Anyway, Seymour wasn’t really that hard (To me at least) and he died pretty quickly, but, with Chuck adding another cheesy line, which is, and I quote, “I saw what you did there”. Sheesh, just put him in the next episode of CSI, why don’t you?
11: Roger Withers and Reed Wallbeck (DR2) - Now, this is another tag-team psychopath battle. Roger and Reed are two mediocre magicians that are trying to perform the “Worlds Most Dangerous Trick”, but always end up the same. Their volunteer getting sliced in half. But, after Chuck points this out, this angers Roger and Reed and the fight starts. It’s pretty fun, I’ll say. While dodging Reed’s canon, you will need to fight off Roger’s crazy sword attacks. It is actually real fun, but, sadly, short lived, as they are, you guessed it, pretty easy. Still, it is great fun to fight these guys with every playthrough.
10: Brandon Whittaker (DR2) - This is a psychopath that really works well due to his atmosphere. Brandon is a C.U.R.E member who believes that the only way to save the zombies is to turn the whole world into zombies, but, after Chuck tries to stop him, Brandon tries to kill him. Like I said, the atmosphere in this fight is real amazing, making it show how psychotic Brandon is. Also, his fight is insane, in a good way. He hides in bathroom stalls, and comes out only to attack, which is your only chance to do some damage, but he has some crazy attacks, which, I can only say to it is “HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU DO THAT WITH JUST A PIECE OF GLASS”!!! Anyway, Brandon is a crazy son of a bitch, and that’s what makes him great.
9: Steven Chapman (DR) - Steven is this high, not for his fight, but his quotes. I can’t do them justice, so, here they are.
“THIS IS MY STOOOOOORE”!
“You… came to vandalise…. my store…. huh? NOT ON MY WATCH”!
“HURT!? That’s just what this bitch said when she came to vandalise my store”!
“I don’t take kindly to vandalism. I won’t allow it. Listen to me, and listen good, partner. I DON’T ALLOW VANDALISM IN MY STOOOOOOOOOOORE”!!!
“My store…. my…. store. Who will run my store when I’m gone…. My store…. my food…. my sales…. my… customers…. Have a nice day”.
“..................... CLEAN UP! REGISTER 6”!
Need I say more?
8: Sean Keanan (DR) - Now, it is amazing how crazy his fight is. Sean is the leader for a cult called True Eye, who believe that they must kill people to cleanse their tainted blood. The cult consist of a bunch of guys wearing green masks and raincoats….. Okay. So, when you meet him again, he will then fight you, and by god, its fucking crazy. He jumps around all over the place, and swings his sword everywhere, and, let me remind you, he is fucking sixty two. What kind of sixty two year old man is this limber. Anyway, after you kill him, you get a gruesome death… or at least, gruesome at first, but really, a mannequin? Imagine how that would be in the obituaries. Sean Keanan. Died from a fucking mannequin. Still, it is a fun fight. Crazy as shit, but fun.
7: Amber and Crystal Bailey (DR2) - Now, this is the last of the tag-team psychopath fights, and what a great way to finish it up with. Amber and Crystal are TK’s helpers who are also Rebecca Chan’s source. However, they then use her to get to Chuck in order to kill him. Throughout the fight, they hide behind found walls, and come out at random, making the fight more mysterious. I would compare it to The End from Metal Gear Solid 3, but, this fight isn’t THAT great. They also swing their sword like crazy, making it odd how and when to dodge. Also, throughout the fight, they are speaking in a rather suggestive way…. okay. Still, this fight is damn good fun, and, it’s crazy, in the words of SNI, “How can something so hot be so fucking painful”. That quote is no where more true than here.
(Spoilers for Dead Rising 2)
6: Tyrone King (DR2) - Now, Tyrone King is Dead Rising 2’s main villain. He was working with Phenotrans to get the zombies out, but, he got greedy and began to rob all the casinos for more money. He then framed Chuck for the outbreak and then began to plan his escape. Sure, its better to let him die, and it is the canon ending, but when you get Overtime Mode, you can get to the real fight. After you get knocked out by TK, you wake up in the Arena, where he has you, Stacy, and Katie hanging from a rope. After you climb back up, you then fight TK. You will notice that all your weapons are gone, making the fight more intense. You will also need to keep your eye on Stacy and Katie and make sure they do not fall down to the zombies and get eaten. This fight is just crazy, but, goddamn, its so satisfying to beat up TK. It’s about time I finally get to kick his ass.
5: Sgt. Dwight Boykin (DR2) - What I like about Boykin is that, unlike the other psychopaths, you actually get to see him slip into insanity. He comes in to save the survivors, only to watch all his men get murdered by gas zombies, which are much stronger than the original zombies. After this, he heads to the Underground, kidnaps Rebecca, and then starts fighting off the zombies… while talking to dead bodies. Yep, he’s crazy. Also, he is one of the hardest fights in the game. You will need at least some high healing food for this fight, because the Underground is scarce with food. Also, bullets won’t work, because he has a bullet proof vest. Your best option is melee weapons. Be careful, though, as he can shoot at you with his machine gun, throw grenades, and just punch you. Boykin has to be the most developed psychopath of them all, and he is awesome to boot.
4: Slappy (DR2) - Now, Slappy has to be the least craziest psycho in Dead Rising, minus those involved with the story. Why? Well, lets start with his backstory. He was a man who worked at a kids store, when he met a girl, Louise, who he was going to go on a date with, but, once the outbreak came, she died, driving Slappy mad. He has a flamethrower which does massive damage and he rolls around on his skates, and, no matter where you go in the Palisades Mall, he will always chase you. Also, if you listen to his boss theme, you will hear voices, which adds well to Slappy, who is on the brink of insanity. Now, the reason Slappy isn’t completely insane is because he isn’t wanting to kill everyone or anything like that, he is just angry because he lost a loved one. Anyone would do that in that situation (We’ll get to that later). So, Slappy is a pretty awesome boss, but, he just barely lost his place in the top 3.
3: Adam Macintyre (DR) - Now, this is where shit gets real. Adam is a clown who worked at the mall in the Wonderland Plaza, but, when the outbreak came, he lost his mind. He is actually the most intelligent psychopath, as he notices the noise of the Space Rider ride keep the zombie, and uses it to his advantage. He is like the clown version of Hannibal. But, his fight is amazing. He chases you around the Wonderland Plaza with two mini chainsaws, throws knives at you, makes exploding balloons around the area, can block bullets, and he breathes fire. Also, once you kill him, its no doubt he has one of the most gruesome deaths in video games, as he falls onto his chainsaws and laughs like a psycho- Oh, right.
(Spoilers for Dead Rising)
2: Brock Mason (DR) - Now, Brock may have come out of bumfuck nowhere, but he is still an amazing psychopath. He is the leader of the Special Forces and he lead the Santa Cabeza Clean-Up Operation, where he killed not only zombies, but people as well. He also did not care for the deaths of human life in the Willamette cleanup. He has no care for human life and finds their deaths nothing more than a mission. The first fight is a rail shooter where you have to shoot obvious weak spots on the tank…. Okay, a minor bump. But, the second half is so much better. You then engage in a hand to hand fight on top of a tank surrounded by zombies. Holy shit, this is awesome. This shows how much you have learned throughout playing the game. It’s fucking amazing, I must say. Also, his death is just… amazing. But, who could be better?... Well….
1: Cliff Hudson (DR) - Now, how did this guy manage to surpass all the others. Simple. He has an amazing backstory, he has a great purpose, an awesome boss fight, and is just an overall awesome psychopath. He was a Vietnam War veteran who was in Willamette with his granddaughter when the outbreak started. After his granddaughter died, he had flashbacks about the war, and then lost his mind, killing, decapitating, and hanging zombies upside down in the hardware store, and accusing everyone he met of being Vehicons. His fight is one of the craziest and one of the funniest, as if you are really in the Vietnam War. He throws smoke bombs, which stun you, and grenades, he runs around with a bloody machete, hides in holes around the area, and can come at random spots. Also, he is one of the psychopaths that we can feel sorry for, as, once you beat him, he snaps back into reality, and tell you what happened to his granddaughter and why he went crazy. It’s real sad for that to happen. His fight is awesome, his backstory is awesome, his purpose is awesome, and that is why Cliff is my favorite psychopath in Dead Rising.
Well, there you have it. My opinion on the psychopaths of Dead Rising. Do you agree with it? Tell me what you think. With that, I will see you all later. I’m gonna go play Dead Rising 3 (I swear, Capcom had better not fucked it up)
