Link: So, Tetra, what do we do now
Tetra: Simple (Grabs hold of him) We head to my private quarters, which is my room really, and do it like bunnies
Link: Oh, gladly
(Meanwhile)
Tetra: (Kicks Link, who is sleeping) Wake up, dumbass
Link: (Wakes up) Huh, what's going on
Tetra: Were you dreaming again
Link: Unfortunately
Tetra: Well, stop dreaming. Idiots like you don't have dreams
Link: (Sarcastic)Wow, thanks
Tetra: You're welcome. Now, get up, we're at Dragon Roost Island
Link: Wait. DRAGON ROOST ISLAND
Tetra: Yeah. Is that a problem
Link: Yes, it is. We can't go on that place
Tetra: Well, we're not leaving until we have solved everything there is to solve.
Link: No, I'm serious. I can't go on that island
Tetra: And I'm serious. Get on that island BEFORE I FUCKING CUT YOU!
Link: Okay. Goddamn it
(Later, At Dragon Roost Village)
Postman: Excuse me, boy, can I ask you something
Link: Sure, if it gets me out of here sooner
Postman: You see, I really want to give my girlfriend a present, so, I thought about giving her twenty golden feathers from twenty deadly birds
Link: And, your telling me this, why?
Postman: Because I'm a pussy and I would rather have a ten year old boy do it for me then do it myself
Link: Wow, you suck
Postman: I know. But, I'll pay you if you do this
Link: You had me at pay
(Later, at the peak of Dragon Roost Island)
Link: Okay, where are the birds
Bird: Hello, boy, welcome to our home. Make yourself at-
Link: (Kills bird) Okay, time to get the rest
(One Massive Bird Genocide Later)
Link: Okay, I have twenty feathers finally. This should do it
(Later, in the village)
Postman: Oh, thank you so much. Here is the money as promised
Link: FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! HOLY SHIT, WHERE DID YOU GET THIS MUCH MONEY!!!
Postman: Well-
Link: Actually, I'm far too happy to give a fuck. Thanks for this huge amount of cash. Now I won't have to kill you in your sleep tonight.
Postman: .......... Oh.......... That's good to hear.
Link: Yes, it is. Well, take care
(Later, on beach)
Link: Oh, god, I am so happy. I can't believe the huge amount of money I got
???: Link, is that you
Link: (Huh, who's that)
Medley: Oh, Link, it is you... or maybe I'm just having illusions from my depression and possible insanity again.
Link: Nope, I'm as real as aliens
Medley: Oh, I'm so glad. Link, I couldn't stop thinking about you, and every time I did, I just got so aroused that-
Link: You're gonna have to hold those thoughts, Medley, because, frankly, I don't really give a fuck. I am way to happy to give two shits. I have just, in one day, become the Bill Gates of this world with five hundred dollars
Medley: Five hundred only?
Link: In this world. that's pretty much a billion, trillion, anything bigger than those-ion dollars.
Medley: Oh, right.
Link: Well, see you soon.... Though, I hope not
Medley: Oh, you will, Link...... Trust me, you will
TO BE CONTINUED