Wind: Okay, Professor, I think I’ll take a Charmande-
Gary: I WANT A SQUIRTLE
Wind: Okay, nevermind. I’ll take a Baulbasua-
Gary: I WANT THE CHARMANDER
Wind: Screw it, give me a Squirtl-
Gary: I WANT THE BULBASAUR!
Wind: Okay, you know what, screw it. I’ll just buy a Pokeball and find some random Pokemon in the grass or something (Leaves)

Little Girl: Hey, you looked at me funny
Wind: Well, duh. You’re a spoiled brat who thinks she owns the whole dirt road. I’m obviously not gonna look at you like you’re a human being with rights
Little Girl: I challenge you to a battle
Wind: Um… Okay (Enters a battle)
Little Girl: (Releases a Caterpie) This is my Caterpie. We’ve been friends since he was little. And with him, I will defeat yo-
Wind: That’s great. I chose you Cubone (Releases a Cubone) This is my Cubone. He wears the skull of his dead mother. It’s cute, really.
Little Girl: Caterpie, use Snore
Caterpie: (Uses snore)
Cubone: (Not effective)
Wind: Okay, Cubone. Now bludgeon the thing to death
Little Girl: Wait, that’s not a move
Cubone: (Beats Caterpie with the bone)
Wind: (Watches)
Little Girl: (Watches in horror)
Cubone: (Walks back to Wind with a bone covered in blood)
Wind: Well, it looks like I win. And, if Pokemon logic is correct, the winner is rewarded with cash rewards and compliments. I’ll take those rewards now
Little Girl: (Crying, as she hands Wind money) You are….. a great trainer (Cries loudly)
Wind: I sure am

Team Rocket Leader: So what you’re saying, is that some boy, who is pretty much a sociopath, managed to beat our entire criminal organization with a goddamn Cubone?!
Team Rocket Member: …. Did we mention it knew bludgeon
Team Rocket Leader: (Sighs) All our hard work and we were defeated by a kid…. men, get the cyanide pills. Our lives our ruined.

Gary: Hey, Wind
Wind: Hello, douchebag
Gary: Looks like I became the Pokemon champion before you. How does it feel to know that I am a better trainer than you
Wind: Oh, it’s fine. Hey, how about we have a Pokemon battle. Just for fun
Gary: You must be stupid. But alright (Enters battle)
Gary: I choose you, Alakazam (Sends out Alakazam)
Wind: Aww, how cute. You think you’re better than me. (Sends out Heatran)
Gary: HEY, NO FAIR! THAT’S NOT A GEN ONE TYPE
Wind: Maybe not, but here’s the thing. Ever hear the moral, “Cheaters never prosper”. Well, I decided to fix that moral so it makes a bit more sense. Cheaters never prosper, unless their name is Wind. Okay, Heatran. Use “F**king Obliterate”.
Heatran: (Ends up killing Alakazam)
Gary: …….. Um….. I’m just gonna-
Wind: Heatran, leave no survivors (Heatran burns down the building, killing everyone inside as Wind leaves) And that is how I became a Pokemon master
Wind’s Mother: … I knew I shouldn’t have let you leave on your Digimon adventure
Wind: Pokemon mom. Get it right