Drunk: I’m telling you, Goku would win
Wind: And I’m telling you Batman would win
Drunk: But Goku can go super sayian
Wind: But Batman’s Batman…. So that’s an instant win

Girl: (Looking at Drunk)
Drunk: Damn (Walks over to her, then pushes her out of the way) Someone dropped a quarter

Wind: (Trying to solve a Rubix Cube)
Drunk: (Trying to untie a pair of headphones)
Wind: (Places solved Rubix Cube on the table) Done
Drunk: (Throws tangled headphones on the ground) Motherfucker

Wind: Okay, now, what’s two plus two
Child: (Jokingly) 21?
Wind: …….. Well, time to get acquainted with the belt again

Wind: Hey mom, I want an XBox for Christmas. What do you want?
(His father walks in, drunk)
Wind’s Mother: A divorce

Wind: (Sitting by the pool)
Drunk: (Splashes him, laughing)
(5 Seconds Later)
Wind: (Trying to drown Drunk)

Drunk: (Playing Operation)
Wind: Drunk, it’s too small
Drunk: I can do i- (The buzzer goes off) (Begins crying as Wind places a white sheet over the Operation board)

Girl: Does this dress make me look fat
Drunk: No, not at all
Girl: (Starts crying) You’re such a fucking liar

Wind: Let me tell you, I love children
Child: (Dances to a bunch of rap music)
Wind: (Shoves the child out of his way violently) They are just so young and full of life)

Wind: (On Skype) I already told you I can’t come over
???: But I’m home alone
Wind: Well, no shit (Shows he is talking to a Home Alone DVD)

Drunk: Goddamn, look at all these hot girls
Wind: Man, you are in a high school

Drunk: (Types “Hey, your a funny guy)
Grammar Nazis: (Walk in) You son of a bitch. It’s spelled you’re (They grab Drunk) You’re coming with us back to the camp
Drunk: Motherfucker, it’s just a grammar error (Grammar Nazis take Drunk to middle school)

Girl: Does this dress make me look fat
Drunk: (Okay, don’t make the same mistake you did last time) Well, actually-
Girl: (Throws him out) You asshole (Slams the door shut)
Drunk: Are you kidding me