This review is just a simple letter from a couple of minutes ago. I am posting this, because by the time you read this, I will be completely insane. And for very good reasons. The reason for my unexpected madness comes from what has to be one of the worst creations ever made in the history of mankind. A creation so evil, that it can even break the most mentally strong. And this abomination that was allowed to walk the earth is none other than the travesty known as Sonichu.
Now, I am not going to be talking about the comics. Instead, I will focus on the character itself, which, honestly, is probably worse than the comics. Sonichu was made by the infamous comic writer Christian Weston Chandler. He made Sonichu as a cross between Sonic and Pikachu….. why…… Why…….. WHYYYYY!? And not only is this idea stupid, he is also one of the most horribly drawn things I have ever seen. I can’t believe I am saying this, but when you look at some of the art on R34 (And I question why you would), and if you ignore the sex, you can see that these people CAN draw… they only use their drawing talents for something awful. But the guy who drew Sonichu didn’t even try. I can draw better, and I can’t even draw a straight line. Okay, I’m going to try to ignore how fucking stupid of an idea that was and just move on.
So, Sonichu goes on adventures. And when I say he GOES on adventures, I mean he RIP-OFF adventures from Sonic, Pokemon, Dragon Ball, and other things. And they didn’t just rip them off, they stole FUCKING DIALOGUE from the fucking original sources. How lazy and uncreative do you have to be to rip something off. That is just pathetic (And don’t any of you bring up that Fluttershy’s Secret fanfic I made two years ago). So, yeah, it’s no doubt that this series was incredibly ignored entirely, with everyone avoiding this guy as much as possible… That is until he decided to make a video series to talk about Sonichu in what he describes as “safe for work”.... So needless to say, he made sure to talk about his sex-life and how he is looking for a girlfriend…. Apparently, this guy has no idea what safe for work means.
Another thing to point out is that Christian was once a troll victim. Now, I understand that being the victims of trolls can either be a minor annoyance, or, if they try hard enough, they could ruin your life. So, Christian decided that instead of ignoring them, he should show Sonichu murdering them… And that is not a joke. At the end of the series, Sonichu finds the trolls and murders them in extremely violent fashion. It makes Cupcakes look like an episode of Sesame Street. Oh, and another thing. This Sonichu guy I was talking about the entire time? He’s not the main character. I had tricked you the whole time. No, the main character is…. Christian…. How fucking arrogant do you have to be (And don’t any of you bring up Wind’s Amazing Quest I made two years ago). So, in the story, Christian is a superhuman, intelligent (Wishful thinking there, buddy), leader of a utopia, which is more of a communist dictatorship if you look at it more closely, can go into supermode, and has literally been given these powers by God himself… Literally, God just came and gave him those powers… HOW IS THIS A FUCKING THING!? I can already tell you that I am positive we have found the biggest fucking Mary-Sue in the world. I mean, if fucking God likes you so much, that he gives you powers, and he thinks everyone else in the world (Like seventy nine billion other people) can go fuck themselves, then there is no one, and I mean NO ONE, who can be a bigger Mary-Sue than this guy.
So, as Sonichu was reaching….. “fame”, all seemed to be good and peaceful for Christian… That is until the Troll’s attacked. This soon got to the point where one troll, named ED (Why named after my high school bus driver, I don’t know) posted an article of Sonichu on Encyclopedia Dramatica, so that hundreds could learn about it. So, Christian only had one way to protest this act…. By posting pornogaphic pictures of Sonichu: THERE IT IS! I’D KNEW WE’D GET TO THE PORN EVENTUALLY! YOU ALL THOUGHT IT WAS JUST GOING TO BE STUPID EVENTS, BUT NO! NOT A FUCKING DAY GOES BY WHERE I FIND GOD AWFUL PORN THAT MAKES ME QUESTION MY EXISTENCE! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! Oh, but it gets worse. Not only did Christian post pornographic pictures of Sonichu, but he also made pornographic art of Christian and one of his real life friends, leading to the friend to leave him and break off contact with him, with Christian not understanding why? Yeah, I don’t understand either. Friends should stick together, even if you make art about having sex with them and post it onto the internet. I know I may sound like a dick, since this guy was a victim of trolls, but that doesn’t excuse posting your art of fucking your friends on the internet. There is no excuses for that. If you do something that bad, then you’re no better than the trolls.
So after these events occurred, people began to make parodies of Sonichu. There was Simonchu, which changed Sonichu’s gender and lead to a conflict between Christian and Evan, Simonchu’s creator. Then there was Asperchu, which made Sonichu more relatable, and surprisingly, more tolerable than Sonichu. There was also……. Pickle….. it made Rosechu, the girlfriend of Sonichu (Because he just wasn’t Mary-Sue-ish enough) Be portrayed as a transvestite, to which Christian responded with “She doesn’t have a pickle”.... and now there is fanart…… of Rosechu…………. with a pickle for a penis…….. Oh fucking god. Fuck it, I’m done here.
So as you can see, Sonichu is…. awful. Not only is he awful, but the huge rage war that spawned due to it’s creation just shows that there is nothing to redeem from this fanfic. You could find something to salvage from a dumpster. In fact, true story, I actually found a perfectly sealed, untouched copy of Peter Jackson’s King Kong in the dumpster. So there you go, it’s proof that you can easily something worth salvaging in the trash can of a McDonald’s before you find anything worth salvaging in this shit… Oh, and one more thing. This got so much fame, that people have had Sonichu tattooed on their penises…… I’m done here. My opinion. Your Take. I don’t care right now