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posted by Windwakerguy430
Today we will be looking at one of my favorite horror franchises of all time, Silent Hill…. And how Konami just shat all over it. I think the last decent Silent Hill game I have any memory of playing was Shattered Memories…. For PSP…… Because we all know how wonderful that console was. But after that, we had some awful Silent Hill games. Some that come to mind are Origins Downpour, and don’t even get me started on the HD Collection. So, when I heard of the game P.T., I had no idea what that was.
P.T. was a horror game on Playstation Network. When I first played through it, I was expecting it to be like any first person jump-scare filled horror game… I was dead wrong. Throughout the game, you are walking through a house that has so much horrifying things happening in it while you are just walking. And I am not kidding, there is ALWAYS something happening. The lights will go off, you will end up in the same room you were at before, you will see a person looking at you, blood will be on the wall, oh, and there is also a fetus crying in a sink…. Because why not.
What I like about this game is that this is a horror element that has never been done before. Being stuck inside a house that constantly repeats but changes from the original room, just hoping you won’t die. What an awesome idea. But what is the story of P.T? Well, beats me. You wake up in a haunted house while a crazy ghost lady follows you while you try to solve puzzles… That’s all I got for a story. It isn’t much, but there is a reason for it. It is because this little game isn’t a game at all. It happens to be a simple demo of the upcoming game Silent Hills…. And oh boy, is this where Konami fucked up.
Silent Hills was going to be the game that saved the franchise, made by video game making legend, Hideo Kojima, who was behind the Metal Gear Solid series. He had been working alongside filmmaker Guillermo del Toro, who worked on Pan’s Labyrinth and both Hellboy movies, and horror manga artist, Junji Ito, who was behind manga like Uzumaki and Tomie. With such an amazing group of people involved in the project, you’d think this would become their magnum opus, right? WRONG! Hideo Kojima was facing tons of problems with Konami at the time he was making the game. The problems had gotten so bad, that Kojima had decided to leave Konami after Metal Gear Solid V was finished. So, after the game was released, Kojima left, and Konami decided to forget Kojima ever existed. Kinda hard when you literally make money of of MGS V. But what about Silent Hills? Well, as much as I hate to say this, Konami cancelled the game days after Kojima left. And just to add insult to injury, they took P.T. off of the Playstation Network. I mean for fucks sake, at least let us enjoy the demo.
Yeah, it really sucks. It may be hard now to actually enjoy the game, seeing as how Konami decided to give everyone the middle finger. Because as we all know, we need another HD Collection of Silent Hill…. NAH, they’ll just make another Pachinko machine. I wouldn’t be surprised. For those who have played P.T., good for you. As for those who haven’t, I can’t recommend it because…. Obvious reasons. Just trust me when I say this game was incredible, and it will indeed be missed. But hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take.
Today, I will be reviewing Sonic.EXE 2. Well, how is it. Well, lets just say second verse same as the first.... In other words, IT SUCKS.
So, it is about these two detectives, Derek and Chelsea who, oddly, are brother and sister. So, they are investigating this crime about this killer who rips open peoples mouth and carves a number into there chest. The only evidence is a busted computer with the Sonic.EXE game downloaded on it... and let me remind you, they were able to find this on a fucking broken computer.
Anyway, Chelsea starts acting weird and Derek comes to the conclusion that Chelsea...
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Oh look, its Jeff the Killer. Jeff the Killer. Jeff the motherfucking Killer. Yeah, well fuc you you overrated prick. You suck.
Incase no one noticed, I fucking hate the Jeff the Killer story. I do. I really do. And why. Well, its a fucking disaster, that's why. It is poorly written, and there was no effort put into it at all. Lets start with that Jeff's brother gets arrested for defending himself. And the court instantly finds him guilty. What kind of fucking trial is that. The court system in Phoenix Wright are better then this fucking place.
Also, when Jeff gets set on fire, I'd like to point...
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???: get in the car Dex

Dex: *gets in car* this is what the hell you do!

???: yep *starts driving*

Dex: I almost got killed 3 times!

*BANG BANG BANG BANG*

Both: holy shi*!

Dex: make that 4 times!

???: hold on!

*ERRRCH*

Dex: why the hell did you bring me along!?

???: you figured out!

Dex: that does not mean that you have to bring me with you!

???: in the movies people usually want to tag
along!

Dex: why would you think I would want to tag along on a dangerous mission!?

???: I thought it would be a quick diplomat thing!

Dex: there are 10 guys chasing after us in sport cars!

???: WELCOME TO MY WORLD!
Court Lobby

Swift: Dear lord, that was too close
Lilly: Don't worry. It could have been worse
Swift: Worse?! I don't have much evidence and were bringing in a witness who saw you commit the crime. If I can't get any actual proof, were going to lose this case
Lilly: Don't worry. I know you can do it
Swift: !! W-what
Lilly: Here, I have this
Swift: What's this? A letter... I would like to see you tonight. I only want you to help me bring back the good old days. Please don't refuse. Come to my house at 10:00 on April 1st. Come alone. Signed... MARIAH
Lilly: Yeah, I was a little surprised too
Swift: Why...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Hello, everyone. Now, Halloween is only a few days away…. Like, ten weeks away… Well, I want to get an early start, so, for all of you, I am going to make ten different top tens for the next following Saturdays. And what better way than to start with the top ten demons. Now, demons are the little red creatures that you find lurking the in the depths of hell, or in some part of the media. Now, first some rules. Only one demon per franchise, and only from what I have seen, or played. Also, I am including ANYTHING! Be it movies, games, TV shows, whatever. It’s so that way, I can make these...
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Guys, I am not making this up, this is probably the darkest one by far. Sure, it may not be so bad when we get to later stories, but trust me, by far, this is my darkest one. So, back when I was like nine, and I was still living in a suburban neighborhood. And let me tell you, this neighborhood is like one of those late 70’s sitcoms. I mean, this place was so caucasian, that I felt like I was in a winter wonderland. But anyway, we went to this one park called Hueston Woods back when we all actually gave a shit about going outside (Yeah, imagine that. Kids actually used to go outside). Anyway,...
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Link: Man, this job is a lot more fun than I thought (Kills monster) I mean, when do I get to help someone by killing someone (Kills another monster) It’s very rare I get to help out someone and actually have fun doing it (Kills another monster) Okay, I think I finally have enough of these things hearts…. But, I’m in no rush (Continues to kill monsters, then, hears music) What is that? Is it an angel. I got to find it (Hears music behind waterfall) What is this. The music is coming from behind this waterfall (Climbs through waterfall, leading to an empty cave) Oh, a secret cave. Good...
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(Some readers may find this disturbing)

So, what do you get when you get sex, rape, and poor writing..... well, pretty much most of the shit I reviewed, but what if it was a Creepypasta.... Okay, without involving My Little Pony........ You get Dirty Movie.
Now, lets start off with saying the main character is a porn director.... Hate this story already. Anyway, he retires, because I don't know. This couple comes to him, because I don't know, and they ask him to help with their sex life, because I don't know, and the porn director comes out of retirement to help them......... Because I don't...
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................... What the fuck.............. Seriously......... What the fuck................... What is this abomination of a fanfic................ just what the fuck is this disaster..................... Well, one things for sure, it's known only as Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life.
Now, first off, Warning, this is not something you want to see. Unless you are okay with its awfulness, turn back now. Anyway, this fanfic is, THANKFULLY, short. But, there is so much a fanfic can do in just twenty seconds. Trust me, this fanfic does it. And it is horrible. Anyway, it starts with a nine-year-old..........
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Narrator: Long ago, in the kingdom of Hyrule, there lived lots of farmers and only one horse. Suddenly, a giant black guy came and set houses on fire. All hope was lost, until a boy dressed in girls clothes came and defeated the giant black man. The possibly homosexual boy was known as the Hero of Time. The land was in peace for years, until the black guy came back, for some reason, and set stuff on fire again. People hoped the hero would return, but he never did and everyone realized he was just a fucking poser. What happened to the land of Hyrule. None remain who know....... Wait, then how...
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So, I want to talk about an amazing anime that has so many fans. I watched it, and I can see why people like it so much… BUT, although I do like it… It has its problems. That anime is Death Note.
Now, Death Note is an anime that is about a school student named Light Yagami, who finds a dangerous book called the Death Note, which gives him the ability to kill anyone whose name is written in the book. This then leads him to create a new world order and kill all the worlds criminals, but he is then being hunted down by the police and L, the worlds greatest detective, but always manages to stay...
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Link: I swear to god, this is a bunch of bullshit. We have met two people, and got shitty rewards.
Tetra: Well, we still got one more person on this island to talk to. Mesa
Link: Mesa. You mean the lazy bum
Tetra: Well, I'm sure he has a good quest for us
(Later, at Mesa's house)
Mesa: Cut my grass
Link: ........ Really. Cut the grass. I swear, I am doing chores for lazy as shit people.
Mesa: You want your reward or not
Link: Well, fine (Walks out and cuts the grass)
Tetra: Well, sure, things may be boring, but, at least we're getting a reward
Link: Really? What? Ten dollars for the candy store
Tetra:...
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Nate: (Driving through city with Emma and Chris) I can't believe we have to go and get money for a couple of punks
Emma: At least we'll be safe
Chris: Yeah. I just want to find a place where we can eat. God, I'm starving
Nate: Christ, please, just, stay quiet
Chris: Fine, I'll just keep quiet and starve to death
Nate: Good. Do that (Keeps driving, until he comes to bank, only to see a large truck in front of it) What the- (Nate gets out of car) Guys, stay here. I'll be right back (Walks into bank to see robbers trying to brake into the safe, by setting explosives on it)
Robber 1: Come on, man. We...
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Tingle: Oh, hello aga-
Link: GIVE ME THE FUCKING MAP
Tinge: Well, lets see (Counts bag of rupees) Well, it seems to be about right. Here is your map
Link: GREAT! HOW MUCH MAPS DO I NEED LEFT
Tingle: Hmm...... About four
Link: THANK YOU (Leaves)
King of Red Lions: So, where is the next Triforce shard
Link: ON SOME STUPID ISLAND
King of Red Lions: Then let us be off
Link: GOOD IDEA
King of Red Lions: ......Um...... Why are you still yelling. You've been doing that ever since we left the Wind Temple
Link: I TOLD YOU! I'M REALLY FUCKING PISSED
King of Red Lions: Oh right
TO BE CONTINUED
Final Fantasy 7 - Cloud: Okay, everyone, now once were inside, we will have to face an large amount of enemies that come out of nowhere, for some reason, is everybody ready
Everyone: No
Cloud: Okay, lets go (Runs in)
Enemy: Boo, mother fucker
Cloud: Quick, everyone, lets kill him. Barret. Tifa. Go
Barret: Alright, take this (Shoots and misses) Shit
Tifa: Okay. Here I go (Punches but misses) What the fuck. How stupid does someone have to be to miss a punch. They enemies aren't even moving
Enemies: Okay, our turn
Tifa: Quick, while they're attacking, lets kick their asses
Cloud: Tifa, we can't do that,...
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People say that My Immortal is the worst Fanfic ever. Yes, its bad. I mean really bad, but no, it is not the worst. That is The Pokemon Story. Fuck, My Immortal isn't even the worst Harry Potter fanfiction. Yeah, I was surprised to find a fanfic worse then My Immortal, but I'm surprised I found a worse Harry Potter fanfic. The story in question is Lucius and Draco Malfoy in Squick... Don't know what Squick means. Don't worry, you will after this review and you'll regret it in the end.
So, we start of with Lucius being disappointed in his son, Draco, and is going to punish him. Okay, so it doesn't...
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Swift Justice: Ace Attorney

Case 1-3

Heartbroken Turnabout

Lilly: I-I didn't do it. I swear
Police: LIAR!!! You had every right to
Lilly: I swear I didn't
Police: We found evidence that you were there. There's no use denying it
Lilly: Please. You have to believe me
Police: Well just see how the Judge thinks of this tomorrow. Your going to pay for what you did
Lilly: I didn't do it. I didn't kill him
Police: you'll get your just desserts. A bit of cold, hard swift justice, to be exact

Court Lobby
April 2nd 10:27 a.m.

Swift: *Okay, Swift. You can do this. Its just like the old days, only your on the opposite...
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(NOTE: This is an old article I was going to do but NEVER got around to, sorry. Here's all I had done, I know it's not much.)

Villains! Often the antagonist in a show that likes to do generally bad things for their own good. Now, there's a LOT of great villains out there, and I had to cut out a few of my favorites as well, so understand that before reading this article.

Also, when I say media, I mean ANYTHING. Whether it's a cartoon, an anime, a movie, a sitcom, pretty much ANYTHING counts.

Now, without further ado, let's GO! =D

#10. Dr. Claw (Inspector Gadget)



IF YOU THINK I'M TALKING ABOUT...
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Link: So, Tetra, what do we do now
Tetra: Simple (Grabs hold of him) We head to my private quarters, which is my room really, and do it like bunnies
Link: Oh, gladly
(Meanwhile)
Tetra: (Kicks Link, who is sleeping) Wake up, dumbass
Link: (Wakes up) Huh, what's going on
Tetra: Were you dreaming again
Link: Unfortunately
Tetra: Well, stop dreaming. Idiots like you don't have dreams
Link: (Sarcastic)Wow, thanks
Tetra: You're welcome. Now, get up, we're at Dragon Roost Island
Link: Wait. DRAGON ROOST ISLAND
Tetra: Yeah. Is that a problem
Link: Yes, it is. We can't go on that place
Tetra: Well, we're not leaving...
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