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Alright, everyone, after getting a feel for the game and after being able to experience it at my own friends home, and after hundreds of Youtubers have played it, and after many old fans are still angry over it despite them wanting the franchise to go back to their horror roots, I will be talking about Capcom’s new horror game. It may have taken a long time to get to it, and it may have made people saltier than the Pacific Ocean, but it’s finally time I talk about this game. Let us all take a look at the return to horror game, Resident Evil 7: Biohazard



So as you can see, this game is greatly different from the classic Resident Evil game. First off, it’s in a first person perspective. No other Resident Evil game did this aside from Resident Evil: Survivor, and… I don’t want to talk about this game. In all Resident Evil games, you play as a cool special agent operative or something like that going after zombies and monsters and some terrorist who becomes a giant eyeball creature in the end. In Resident Evil 7, you play as an average guy named Ethan who is heading to Louisiana to find his wife, Mia, who has been missing for three years. When Ethan arrives to the last known location of Mia, he is met with her, but is also attacked by her due to her being under the influence of something… evil within the residence……. (Goddamnit). After meeting Mia, Ethan meets… The Bakers. The father, Jack, a man who can heal any of his injuries, no matter what they may be, and is strong enough to break through walls and rip cars apart. Marguerite, the mother who is prone to anger and manipulates bugs in the area. And last, the son, Lucas, who creates insane deathtraps like a sort of game. There’s also the grandma, but we’ll get to her later. There’s also a girl named Zoe who helps you along the way and is related to the Bakers, and just managed to avoid becoming like them. The Bakers are probably one of the most tragic Resident Evil characters out there, but we’ll get to them later. First, let’s talk about the gameplay.



In Resident Evil 7, you play as Ethan, and like I said, you aren’t some badass going around a zombie infested area. You aren’t suplexing evil cultists and roundhouse kicking carriers of Las Plagas or whatever. No, you’re just a guy who is looking for his wife and came to the wrong bayou. You aren’t made to be the perfect killing machine. You just have to survive, and try using weapons as best as you can. Though, for an average man, Ethan sure does know how to use dozens of guns. Than again, so does….. Every horror game protagonist ever. Aside from that, Ethan is able to carry limited items, but can increase his carrying space as the game continues. He also has a cassette tape to save his game, being similar to the typewriters from the older games. You don’t have limited saves on normal modes, but on harder difficulties, it is harder. The game also get’s rid of the linear levels like in later games and goes back to fullon exploration. Having to use the small environment to solve puzzles and avoid enemies? It sounds so much like the first Resident Evil game. And you know how much I love the first Resident Evil game. And seeing the franchise go back to that style really does make me happy. Even if we aren’t playing as a S.T.A.R.S. operative. Then again, I wouldn’t like seeing more of Chris’s jacked to fuck body or Jill’s jiggle physics. So I think that this Ethan guy is pretty good, and he is. Just a normal guy who was at the wrong place at the worst possible time. He’s not as awesome as the other characters in the series, but he is a very good character to have in your horror game.



Okay, so let’s talk about some complaints I have with the game. I could say the story is nonsensical, but it’s Resident Evil. The story has always made no sense and the series has just kinda rolled with it ever since. What I can complain about, however, is that the game becomes pretty generous near the end. I understand that it’s a big boss coming up and lots of enemies are coming out, but the original Resident Evil was never this generous with it’s weapons. And Ethan just happens to know how to use all of these weapons. Then again, getting into a chainsaw duel with Jack prior to this kind of makes this point void. But what is still easy to criticize is the other types of enemies in the game. You thought the Bakers would be scary the entire game? Well, you’re right, but I guess they still needed something for you to kill. Introducing the Molded, the laziest enemy in a Resident Evil game. The Molded are just Regenerators, only they don’t really regenerate and they are killed easily with a shot to the head. I wouldn’t mind them too much, since they were creepy at first, but then you notice that this is ALL you fight. Just different versions of them. You got the ones that crawl on their legs, and then you got the fat ones that vomit. Other than that, they are just the same, and there is barely any difference. Just shoot them in the head and you will kill them easily. It’s not that hard. But, I can’t be too mad. These guys were clearly not the main focus. The Bakers were the main focus of Resident Evil 7, and I’m glad they were.



There is a lot you can see in these people, and how interesting and unique they are to the franchise. They are driven completely insane, but not under a parasitic life form like the ones from Resident Evil’s 4 and 5, and they sure as hell aren’t zombies. They live a… “normal” life in the house, despite their insane regeneration abilities, and just being insane in general. They are nearly unstoppable and are hard to kill, as you will mostly be avoiding them as the game goes on. Jack will chase you and attempt to beat you to death, and in one boss fight with him, will either run you down the a car or try to crash the car you are in into beams. It’s a great boss fight that has many different outcomes, and all of them are great. The second time has you having to have a chainsaw battle with him as he spews Evil Dead quotes until you kill him. Marguerite is definitely affected the most, her mood changing constantly from soft and caring to angry and violent, attacking with her large amount of centipedes and wasps, and probably having one of the grossest transformations in a Resident Evil game. Lucas is by far the least messed up… physically. Mentally, however, you could say Lucas is the most damaged of them all. Even before the events of Resident Evil 7, Lucas had already killed a boy, a local bully, who he trapped in the attic and left to starve to death. He even states that he was able to keep himself from falling victim to what his parents had fallen to, implying that he isn’t truly under any influence and is just insane. The SAW like games he makes don’t really help disprove that claim. But let’s get to what makes them truly tragic…. Also, I am spoiling the rest of the game here. So don’t continue if you want the game spoiled



So as it turns out, Mia is actually part of an organization who created a bio-weapon called Eveline. Eveline is a little girl who uses her powers to turn those around her into her minions through a sort of strange mold. As it grows, the people become more and more insane, and are devoted to her completely, doing everything she says and everything she wants. No matter what, they are stuck, and can’t even die, as shown by the Bakers, who have been stuck this way for years. Before you kill Eveline, you meet Jack again, but this time, he doesn’t want to kill you or attack. He actually is speaking with you and wants you to end his family's suffering by killing Eveline. It’s the first time we see him before he turned, and it’s kinda tragic. It’s made even worse in the DLC that was released for the game called Daughters where you see the family before they were turned evil by Eveline. Jack was a caring family man who served in the war, Marguerite was a loving mother and wife, Lucas was still a piece of shit as always, and Zoe was just an average girl. You see their typical days before they are turned by Eveline, and you see them trying to fight it off and trying to keep the rest of them from turning and it’s one of the most tragic stories you can tell. I’d go so far as to say the Bakers are just as tragic as Lisa Trevor from Resident Evil Remake. Yes, the little girl who was forced into experiments by a corrupt man as her father died in a hidden hole and her mother was slowly dying from experiments and was unable to die herself and forced to live as a creature without a family is almost as tragic as the Bakers’ story. That is damn good writing, right there, even if it’s from a game about zombies. And to be honest, Eveline, for how evil she is, is also just as tragic. As a bioweapon, she wasn’t able to experience anyone who cared about her, as if she got near anyone, they would turn and be made to be mindless killers, and she wanted to live a normal life with a family, but that never happened, and she ended up aging incredibly fast to where she became an old woman… Yes, the old woman you see in the Bakers estate is little Eveline. It sounds dumb, but trust me. It makes sense.



Resident Evil 7 is a game that truly did manage to go back to the horror roots. It has the creepy atmosphere, haunting music, disturbed characters, and a very nerve wracking story about it. But that’s just the main game. The DLC offers so much more, like survival mode, two new pieces of the story, and deadly blackjack to play against numerous characters. It truly is one of the most well done Resident Evil games. I can’t say it’s as good as Resident Evil Remake, probably because nostalgia won’t let me move on from it, but I can definitely say it’s one of the best Resident Evil games we’ve had in a long time. Even if there are many who say it’s utter garbage. But hey, at least Capcom is actually trying to make its iconic horror franchise good again. Isn’t that right, Konami? Take care.

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There are quite a lot of video games that give you the freedom to do whatever it is that you want to do. You may not be able to do EVERYTHING, but video games give you enough of what it has to let you do what you want, when you want. However, there are some games that won’t take crap from anyone, including the player. So, these games have a way to punish you for your cruel actions. So today, I want to share with you all not ten, but fifteen things in games that punish you for your actions. Now, these have to be things that punish you for small things, that would not bat the eye of anyone...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
In the first CHiPs fan fic, the Canterlot Highway Patrol dealt with ponies stealing cars. Now they're going to deal with robbers.

For future reference, you can find every CHP pony's picture from the roleplay. Their pictures are on pages 1-7: link

SeanTheHedgehog Presents

Larry Wilcox as Jon Baker
And Erik Estrada as Frank Poncherello in...

Jon & Frank: *On their police motorcycles, riding on the highway*
Frank: I can't wait to get my brand new Camaro partner.
Jon: I can't wait either. You've been talking about it so much, I think that everyone we chase drive's one of those, and I mess up...
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