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Song: link

Tim: *Sitting by a campfire with Captain Jefferson* Ah, this is nice.
Captain: Yes it is.
Shayne: *Watching Metal Gloss and Stylo surfing*
Crane: I didn't know ponies could surf.
Shayne: Neither could I.
Wayne: What about trains?
Shayne: Are you kidding? We're too heavy.
Wayne: Try telling that to your silver friend.
Shayne: What? *Sees Sean on a big surfboard surfing along with several humans* In the world?!
Wayne: While Shayne refuses to believe what he's seeing, I shall host tonight's segment of the S.S.S.S. I'm Wayne from The Nut House, and here's what we got lined up for you. Where Eagles Dare. The very first fan fiction created by SeanTheHedgehog back in 2016, so sit back, enjoy the show, and may the force be with you.

Song: link

SeanTheHedgehog Presents

A Star Wars Fan Fiction

Starring Louis Bodine as John Smith

Sean Bodine as Morris Schaffer

Emma Watson as Mary in

Where Eagles Dare

An Imperial Landing Craft was flying through a planet covered in snow, 18 inches thick.

Also starring Keith Wickham as Colonel Turner and Simon Greenall as Admiral Roland

And Rob Rackstraw as Colonel Kramer

The Landing Craft continued to fly as it was getting towards some mountains.

Tom Kane as General Rosemeyer
Jesse Neighbour as Major Von Hapen
Scarlett Johansson as Lieutenant Schwartz
Jordan Carver as Heidi

Also featuring

Brian Connery as Jott McPherson
Kevin Shoemaker as Barkley
Kevin Meizanis as Thomas
RJ Shoemaker as Christianson
Matthew Broderick as Harrod

The Landing Craft was going lower to the ground as it flew to the left of another mountain

And Hugh Laurie as Cartwright Jones

Based off the 1968 film of the same name

The Landing Craft was approaching another mountain. As it got closer, it took a sharp turn to the right, and starting gaining altitude to pass over another section of the mountain.

This takes place just minutes after the events of The Empire Strikes Back. Research for this fan fiction has been done on Wookieepedia, though the planet Chevrelium, and a few vehicles have been created specifically for this fan fiction.

We now go inside the landing craft, to take a look at the men inside. We got the pilot, but he's not important. Not compared to the seven men sitting behind him. The seven men chosen for a daring mission against the Empire, each wearing white snow suits, armed with E-11 blasters, and silenced pistols.

Stop the song

The seven men are John Smith, Morris Schaffer, and their teammates, Barkley, Thomas, Christianson, Jott, and Harrod.

Morris: *Looks to his right, and sees John*
John: *Looks to his left, also looking at Morris*
Pilot: *Flying over another mountain*
Republic Soldier: *Talking on a radio* Affirmative Colonel, we are three minutes away from the drop zone. *Turns on a red light*

The light would turn green, signalling John, and his team to jump out with parachutes, but the red light reminded him of the briefing he had on Coruscant before the assignment.

An alarm went off in his head: link

John: *Thinks about the briefing*

Skip the alarm to 1:26

Colonel Turner: Our man was shot down around 10 AM this morning. A shame it had to happen to an important man. Damn idiots.. Damn idiots for going through that sector, and double damn idiots for ignoring my advice in the first place. Anyway, *Points to a planet on a map* Here he is, on a planet called Chevrelium, at the Schloss Adler. The Castle of Eagles. Believe me, it's well named, because only an eagle can get to it. Our job is to get inside there, and get him out as soon as possible, before they have a chance to get any information out of him.
John: How are you sure he's there sir?
Colonel Turner: The MC40 they were on crash landed on the planet. There were two other planets in the Colonies, but they were further away than the castle. Where else would they take him?
John: How did the ship crash sir? Were there other ships near Chevrelium?
Colonel Turner: Schloss Adler has several Star Destroyers make deliveries for supplies, and reinforcements once a month. Their last shipment was ten days ago. There shouldn't have been any other ships, or, that's what the pilot thought, when a wandering Tie Fighter shot them down. Anyway, that's not important. *Walks away from the map* What is important is that we get him out before he talks. Or I should say, you get him out.
Barkley: What about paratroopers sir? Can they get him out?
Colonel Turner: Not unless you want to get your heads blown off by a Scout trooper. We can't have anyone land too close, otherwise they'll see you, and take your life the first chance they get. You are familiar with one another, but you've never worked together before. I know it's especially true with Lieutenant Schaffer. You see the Lieutenant is a member of the Rebel Alliance. We requested his presence, because we don't have enough men with the skills you have. Stealth, and secrecy are our only hope. You seven, are I trust, stealth, and secretive.
Christianson: There is another way sir. Another way that will get us 100% of guaranteed success.
Colonel Turner: Alright. Would you like to share it with us, and the admiral?
Christianson: We still have a fleet of Y-Wing bombers that we can use to destroy the castle. I don't think anyone in there will ever talk again.
Admiral Roland: Nor do I think that you understand the reality of our situation. The captured man, General Carnaby, is a Rebel. He has plans for a second front against the Imperials. He was sent to Kashyyyk to discuss it with the Wookies, when he passed Chevrelium, and got shot down by that Tie Fighter. If we were to destroy General Carnaby, then I'd think Luke Skywalker, and the rest of the rebels would come after us instead of the Imperials.
Christianson: Oh.
Colonel Turner: Alright then. Ten O' Clock tonight on the dot. Major Smith will lead the group. Anymore questions, Major Smith will answer them.

Song: link

John, Morris, and the others in their group stood up, preparing to jump off the landing craft.

Republic Soldier: *Opens the back door*
Morris: *In front of everyone else*
Harrod: *In the middle, behind John, Morris, and Jott, but in front of Barkley, Thomas, and Christianson*
Republic Pilot: Get ready, we're approaching the drop area.
Republic Soldier: Stand by!
Harrod: *Looking back at Barkley, Thomas, and Christianson*
Barkley: *Looking at Harrod's radio*
Republic Pilot: *Heading towards a mountain. He gains altitude to fly over it*

Within a few seconds, the red light turned green, signalling the time to jump. Stop the song.

Republic Soldier: Green light, go! *Deploys a drop pod*
Morris: *Jumps off first*
John: *Jumps*
Jott: *Jumps*
Harrod: *Jumps*
Barkley: *Jumps*
Thomas: *Jumps*
Christianson: *Jumps*

After jumping, they deployed their parachutes, and decreased speed as they fell toward the snowy surface. Their snow suits, being white, blending in with the snow.

Back on the landing craft.

Republic Soldier: *Looks at a woman with a parachute, and also wearing a snowsuit*
Woman: *Jumps off the landing craft, and deploys her parachute*

The men were getting close to landing.

Harrod: *Lands next to a tree*
Morris: *Lands in an open field*
John: *Lands near a hill*
Morris: *Stands up, and begins to move towards the drop pod*
John: *Moves his parachute towards him*

After three seconds of getting rid of the parachutes, everyone was heading for the drop pod. Well, almost everyone.

John: *Makes it to the drop pod first, and opens it. Seven white backpacks are inside*

Everyone except Harrod made it. John was the first to notice.

John: Where's Harrod?

By the time he asked, everyone stood frozen while staring at John.

Morris: Well, last time I saw him he drifted towards those trees over there.
John: Alright. Spread out. Let's go find him.

Leaving the drop pod with four of the backpacks, the six men went to look for Harrod.

John: *Searching with Morris*
Jott: *With Barkley, he points at something in the snow*

Song (Start at 0:49): link

It was Harrod.

Jott: MAJOR!!
John: *Hears Jott, and walks towards him*
Morris: *Follows John*

They arrived. Thomas, and Christianson made it too. Then, they saw Harrod, laying in the snow on his back.

John: *Kneels down, and looks over Harrod* His neck's broken.
Thomas: Dammit!
John: *Takes the radio off Harrod*
Jott: Well what do we do now? Do we bury him, or do we leave him here?
John: We leave him here. The snow will cover him in a couple of hours. It's best if you go back, and pick up the rest of the equipment. I want to see if the radio is still working.
Morris: *Leading the men back to the drop pod*
John: *Places the radio in the snow. He turns it on, and everything seems fine.

Next, John moved Harrod up, and looked at the snow below him. He moves it out of the way so Harrod can get closer to the ground, and get covered up by the snow quicker.

Morris: *Returns to the drop pod with the others*
Thomas: *Takes two backpacks*
Christianson: *Takes the last backpack*

There was one more thing John wanted to check before the rest of his team got back. The cause of the broken neck.

John: *Rolls Harrod over on his side. He moves the zipper of his snow suit down, and moves the top of the coat away from the neck so he can examine it. When he looks at the neck, he finds a big bruise*

While John was thinking about this, the others returned with the rest of the equipment.

John: Alright. There's a valley down below. We can go inside one of the buildings to check our equipment.
Barkley: What about the people that live in it?
John: There aren't any. People only go there for the summer. They come here in May, and leave in September. Come on. Let's go.

Skip the song to 4:02

Following John, the men walked to the valley below. As they started walking downhill, they passed several alpine trees. The valley was small. In front of them was one of the houses with a wooden shed next to it. As they got closer, it stopped snowing, and it began to get darker.

Once everyone was inside, they took off their snowsuits, and were now wearing Imperial Officer's uniforms.

John: *Lights a lamp*
Jott: I don't feel like myself for some reason.
John: Neither do any of us Jott. You're the cook, so cook some hot tea, or maybe some coffee, and I'll...call the admiral at Coruscant. Damn I left the notebook with Harrod.
Barkley: I'll go get it.
John: No it's my own mistake, I'll get it. *Putting his snowsuit back on* If I'm not back within in hour, signal me with a flare, it can bring a blind man home.
Barkley: Yeah, and maybe even the Imperials.
John: There's not a single Imperial within a five mile radius. They won't see it. Nobody leaves here until I get back. *Walks to the door* Jott. *Looks at him* Save me some coffee.
Jott: It'll be cold by then.
John: That's an advantage for me, since you can't taste cold coffee. *Leaves*

John walked outside. He took a look at the dark sky above him. It began to snow again, but the flakes were slower than the previous ones.

John: *Goes to the right. He walks into a shed next to the house*
???: *Cocks a DL44 Blaster*

Song: link

John: *Hears the blaster, and slowly lights a lantern with a match. After lighting the lantern, he blows out the match*
Mary: Halt.
John: *Stops moving*
Mary: *Holding the DL44, pointing it at John* Turn around.
John: *Turns around, and looks at Mary*
Mary: *Puts her blaster away* Took your time getting here.
John: We had some trouble upon landing. Did you make it here alright?
Mary: Hardly, I nearly froze to death on that damn shuttle. *Walks towards John* Why couldn't you have provided me with a warm white heated suit? I thought you loved me.
John: You made it here alright, didn't you?
Mary: Is that all the greeting I'm going to get?
John: I'm afraid so, for the time being. My radio operator was killed.
Mary: What happened?

The song fades away as the conversation continues.

John: He was hit in the neck, either with the back end of a lightsaber, or a blaster. It was badly bruised, which means someone hit him immediately after we landed, and made it look like an accident. I don't know who it was yet, but I will find out. Now listen. I'm gonna take the group across the woods, down into the village. In that village is a bar called Alpine. Behind it is a wood shed called Heizung liefert. Meet me there at 8 O' Clock tomorrow night. *Opens Mary's suitcase, and pulls out one of her panties* Well, I see you came fully prepared.
Mary: Never mind that, how do you know all these things? The village, the alpine bar, and Heizung liefert?
John: *Walks to the lantern*
Mary: I'm entitled to know.
John: You're entitled to know, nothing. *Blows out the lantern's lights*
Mary: We've been working together for three years now, and I'm a professional.
John: *Goes back to Mary* So am I.
Mary: If I were the marrying kind-
John: *Kisses Mary*
Mary: *Hugging John* I thought you were in a hurry.
John: I was, and I still am.

Back inside the house, Morris was taking apart an E11, to make sure it was working properly. Jott was also awake, looking out a window. Everyone else was asleep.

John: *Walks out of the shed, and back into the house*
Morris: *Hears the door open, and pulls out his silenced blaster*
John: *Looks at Morris*
Morris: *Puts his blaster away when he sees John* What kept you?
John: Well I was about to receive the notebook, when a group of Korienas arrived. I had to use my blaster to scare them away. Anyway, thanks for waiting up for me. *Sits down, and turns on the radio*
Morris: No problem. *Begins to put the E11 back together*
John: Lieutenant, why don't you get some sleep? It's almost dawn. *Looks back at Jott* You too Jott.
Morris: I figured I'd wait for you.
John: *Listens to the radio. There is nothing, but static* I can't hear anything.
Morris: Probably the storm, huh?
John: Yes, maybe. We'll try again in the morning.

Next morning, John lead his group into the forest. They stopped, and John checked his watch.

John: Lieutenant, come with me. The rest of you stay here. *Walks with Morris*
Morris: *Walks down a hill*

They were walking towards the edge of a cliff.

Morris: *Looking at mountains far away*
John: *Walking towards the edge*
Morris: *Following John*
John: *Sees the castle*

Song (Start at 1:21): link

The song is literally six seconds long, so stop it at 1:26

Morris: These guys have got to be crazy. Just how does your Colonel expect us to get in there?
John: Turner's gone through more complicated situations. At the start of the Galactic Civil War, he penetrated the Imperial system.
Morris: He did what?
John: He went onto Endor, and destroyed several Imperial vehicles, and weapons. Even got to shake Lord Vader's hand before his sabotage started.
Morris: Well I thought he looked a little nuts.
John: He probably still is, but we got problems of our own. Take the rest of the group to the end of the forest.
Morris: Alright. What about you?
John: I'll be along with you shortly.
Morris: *Walks back up the hill*
John: And be sure to stay behind the trees.
Morris: Gotcha.
John: *Pulls out his macrobinoculars. He looks at the castle*

A steam train was heard in the distance. It blew it's whistle twice.

John: *Puts his macrobinoculars away, and turns on the radio. He hears the train blow it's whistle again as he picks up the receiver from the radio* Broadsword calling Danny Boy. Broadsword calling Danny Boy. Over.
Republic Corporal: Danny Boy calling Broadsword. Please wait for Admiral Roland.
Admiral Roland: This is Admiral Roland Broadsword. What is your present position?
John: Woods due west of castle. Descending at dusk. Harrod dead, over.
Admiral Roland: Was Harrod killed accidentally, over?
John: No, over.
Admiral Roland: By the Imperials, over?
John: No. Time of next broadcast uncertain. Will you standby?
Admiral Roland: Colonel Turner and I will standby until operation is complete. Over, and out. *Stands up from his chair, and walks with Colonel Turner into another room*

Two ships were heard flying past as they walked into the other room.

Colonel Turner: It looks as though you're right sir.
Admiral Roland: Yes I'm afraid so. Who's next I wonder? Smith himself maybe.
Colonel Turner: Oh I doubt that. *Walks to the other end of the room* Some people have a sixth sense. Smith has a sixth, seventh, and an eighth. He's our best man.
Admiral Roland: Yes he is. Still, even if he is the best, this whole operation seems impossible now.

Song (Start at 1:28): link

Morris: *Laying down, looking through his macrobinoculars at the castle*

He looked to the left, and saw a cable car station.

Morris: *Continues to look at the castle*
John: *Walks down the hill, and lays down next to Morris, also looking at the castle*

Stop the song

Morris: Take a look down there. *Points to an area on the ground below the castle*
John: *Looks at an Imperial Troop Transport passing a fence. It passes an astro droid with small cannons attached to it's side* That little droid has powerful cannons.
Morris: Yeah. Astro droids with cannons, a guard tower, and a wire fence.
John: Fences can be climbed or cut Lieutenant.
Morris: I doubt if that one could be climbed, it looks like it's got 3,000 volts around it. *Points to the right* If I'm not mistaken Major those are some army barracks over there.
John: *Looks to the right*
Stormtroopers: *Marching in the area that Morris was pointing at*
John: No mistake Lieutenant, this is where they train some of the best storm troopers, and officers in the Empire.
Morris: Okay. As long as we don't go anywhere near there, I don't have to know about it.
John: I thought you knew Lieutenant. Why do you think we're dressed as Imperials? Training troops come in, and out all the time. One of six new faces among hundreds of other new faces.
Morris: Look Major. This is primarily a Republic operation. I'm in the Rebellion. I don't even know why the hell I'm here.
John: Lieutenant you're here because, you're in the Rebellion.

They heard the sound of a Tie Fighter. Only this ship looked completely different. It was a brand new Tie Interceptor.

John & Morris: *Watching the Tie Interceptor hover above the castle*
Imperials: *Watching the Tie Interceptor*

It was getting close to landing.

Imperial Officer 853: Go!
Imperials: *Running into position*
Imperial Officer: Storm troopers to the right, everyone else to the front, and left side of the ship!

Once everyone was in position, five officers walked up to the Tie Interceptor. Four stopped, but one walked up close to it.

General Rosemeyer: *Climbs out of the Tie Interceptor's cockpit, and jumps down next to it*
Colonel Kramer: It's a pleasure to see you again General.
General Rosemeyer: You too, but you had more hair last time we met.
Colonel Kramer: How is Endor sir?
General Rosemeyer: Nothing has changed. You like our new fighter?
Colonel Kramer: It seems a little dangerous-
General Rosemeyer: Well you must try it someday.
Colonel Kramer: Major Debeldun, in charge of shipping in weapons.
Major Debeldun: *Salutes Colonel Kramer*
Colonel Kramer: Major Enn, commodities.
Major Enn: *Salutes Colonel Kramer*
Colonel Kramer: Colonel Weissner, head of security.
Colonel Weissner: *Salutes Colonel Kramer*
Colonel Kramer: Major Von Hapen, in charge of storm troopers.
Major Von Hapen: *Salutes Colonel Kramer*
General Rosemeyer: *Looking over Major Von Hapen* That will be all. *Walks with Colonel Kramer*
Colonel Kramer: Is everything to your liking?
General Rosemeyer: There is one thing. That Major Von Hapen. Does he know the General is here?
Colonel Kramer: I have informed him about the General, but not of his importance.
General Rosemeyer: Good, good. If possible we must keep the storm troopers out of this.
Colonel Kramer: Why?
General Rosemeyer: This is strictly an Imperial matter, for the time being. The storm troopers are better at killing than interrogating. *Walks inside the castle, and walks downstairs* I've had a very tiring day. I'd like to freshen up a bit.
Colonel Kramer: I'll see you to your room. Oh, and the meeting will begin, whenever you're ready.

In a village near the castle, a steam engine blew it's whistle, pulling seven hopper cars. Once the train was gone, it was safe for John, and his men to cross the tracks. They had to pass between two more freight cars, marked for the Imperials.

Morris: You know Major, I thought this galaxy got rid of trains over 200 years ago.
John: Not on this planet. They're preserved for recreational, and educational purposes. Let's go into the depot across the street.

Song: link

Quickly, and quietly, John and the others got to the depot. John held the door open for the others as he watched to make sure no Imperials spotted him. Once the other five got in, John walked in, and closed the door.

Barkley, Thomas, Christianson: *Putting their bags on a shelf*
Jott: *Puts his bag next to Barkley's*
Morris & John: *Put their bags on a different shelf*

Next, they took off their snow suits, once again revealing their Imperial Officer uniforms.

Morris & John: *Putting on their Officer hats, and grey winter coats*
Jott: *Puts on his hat, and wearing a camouflage sweater*
Barkley, Thomas, Christianson: *Also wearing camouflage sweaters over their Imperial Officer uniforms*

They left their E-11's with the bags so they wouldn't look suspicious, but kept their silenced blasters with them.

John: *Walks towards the door*
Others: *Following John*
John: *Signals them to stop*
Others: *Waiting behind John*
John: *Puts his hand on the door knob, and slowly opens the door*

Stop the song. John looked around to make sure no one was watching them. He only saw three storm troopers walk into an orange building across the street.

John: *Signals the others to follow him outside*
Others: *Following John outside*

An IFT-D passed with three storm troopers inside. It began to cross a bridge.

IFT-D's picture: link

John: *Signals the others to follow him. They cross the same bridge*

A clock tower began to ring, and another train was heard.

John: *Looking at the IFT-D in front of them*
Driver: *Getting checked by another storm trooper at a security gate*
Morris: *Looks at the gate*
Storm Trooper Guard: *Raises the gate, letting the IFT-D pass*
John: *Watching the IFT-D speed away from them*
Imperial Officers: *Walking by*
Storm Trooper Guard: *Lowers the gate* Halt. Show me your papers.
John: I've been here many times of course, so it's not like the guard to forget me.
Storm Trooper Guard: *Raises the gate*
John: These five are with me.
Storm Trooper Guard: Yes sir. *Watches the six of them pass*
John: I also remember having the toughest instructor when I was first recruited in the outer rim.
Morris: Yeah, I think I had him too. What was his name anyway?
John: Fred.
Morris: Fred? Oh yeah I remember Fred. Dark skinned human with a big mustache.
Storm Troopers: *Pass them in an Imperial Troop Transport*

They walked into the center of the village. It was busy with many different creatures, and speeders going in all directions. It was very loud too since almost everyone was talking at the same time.

Storm Troopers: *Driving an IFT-T through the village, passing two Imperial Troop Transports*
John: *Looks a bar marked Alpine* We'll try here. If this place is the same as the rest of this planet, there should be lots of Imperials inside. Keep your ears open for anything about General Carnaby. We'll meet back here in half an hour.

John, and the others walked into the bar. A band was playing music: link

The six men took their coats off, and put them on a coat hanger.

Jott: *Sits at a table with Thomas, Barkley, and Christianson*
Morris: *Walks to a counter with John. He looks at the bartender* Two beers.
Bartender: *Goes to get the drinks*
John: *Looks around the bar, and sees Heidi*
Heidi: *Serving drinks to two Imperials*
John: *Sees another table with three officers* Excuse me.
Morris: *Watches John go to the table*
John: *Sits down at the table*

One of the officers had black hair, and stared at John.

Heidi: *Arrives at the table* Anything else I can get for you?
John: *Puts his arm around Heidi, and pulls her towards him*
Heidi: Oh!
John: And who might you be my pretty alpine rose?
Heidi: Heidi. Stop Major, I got work to do.
John: There's no more important work than to entertain the men who keep the galaxy in order. Shall I sing you a song?
Heidi: No thank you.
John: Alright, I'll whistle it to you, it goes like this. *Whistles a song*
Heidi: *Laughs* I bet you have beautiful singing voice too.
John: Yes. *Hugs Heidi, moving his mouth closer to her ear, and whispers* meet me in the wood shed in the back in five minutes. now slap me across the face as hard as you can.
Heidi: Oh! *Backs up, and slaps John in the face, walking away*
Officer With Black Hair: Major?
John: *Looks at the officer*
Officer With Black Hair: Your position as an officer does not permit you to harass civilians.
John: *Glares at the officer* When you address me, you address me as sir. My full name is Nathan Sidious. Does that name mean anything to you?

All the officer could do was nod. He was too nervous to say another word.

John: I advise you mind your own business from now on. Is that understood?
Officer With Black Hair: *Nods*
John: *Walks away*
Officer With Black Hair: *Lets out a sigh of relief*
John: *Returns to the bar, and sits next to Morris* Another beer please.
Morris: Make that two. *Looks at John* I don't suppose you found out anything about General Carnaby.
John: We never got to discuss him.
Morris: What were you, and that Major talking about?
John: I told him I was The Emperor's brother.
Morris: *Looks back at the officer, noticing how scared he is* I can see why that would shake him up a little.
John: More than a little I should think. Keep an eye on things, I'll be back. *Walks away*

As John left the Alpine Bar, another song was heard: link

John: *Turns right, and walks down the street*

As he walked away from the bar, the song began to fade away.

Stormtroopers: *Passing by in an IFT-D*
Officer 94: How's it going?
John: Fine, thank you. *Salutes two Stormtroopers*
Stormtroopers: *Return their salutes*
Astro Droid: *Beeping as it exits a house, moving towards the two stormtroopers*
John: *Sees the wood shed, and opens the door, walking inside*

Mary was waiting for him. As soon as she saw John, she began to hug him, and the two kiss.

John: Take your clothes off.
Mary: But I-
John: Don't argue. Take your clothes off.
Mary: *Takes off her coat*
John: Relax, I didn't mean it. I need you to help me get into the castle.
Mary: How? Naked?
John: Seems like a good idea, but a bit too obvious. The Imperials are short on secretaries, and Schloss Adler is no exception. You're cousin is Heidi. She works at the Alpine Bar, and it's because of her you got the job. You used to live in Toydaria, and were one of the very few humans on that planet. You were a T.V star, but were forced to give up your job, when the Hutts killed your director, and the CEO of the company producing your show.
Mary: Where are my identity papers?
John: Here. *Pulls them out of his pocket*
Mary: What's all this about?
John: I got to get in there before the Imperials find out that they don't have General Carnaby. The man they got knows no more about the second front than I do about other planets from different galaxies.
Mary: I thought General Carnaby's ship crash landed on this planet early yesterday morning.
John: That's what they want us to think. The ship landed perfectly on the planet, but it was riddled with holes from blasters. Republic blasters, but what the hell? A blaster is a blaster to some.
Mary: Are you trying to say that they're risking the life of another man for a phony rescue mission?
John: Oh not at all. The man inside that castle is a Rebel. Corporal Cartwright Jones. He wants to retire one day, and get a new career in acting.
Mary: You talked this poor man into doing this stunt?
John: I didn't have to, he volunteered. Like all good actors. This may even start a successful career for him.
Mary: Yes, a one night stand.

Someone was knocking at the door.

John: Wait here. *Pulls out his silenced blaster as he walks to the door. He slowly opens it*
Heidi: *Walks in, and sees John pointing his blaster at her*
John: Oh good, you made it. *Puts his blaster away* Heidi this is your cousin Maria. Mary, this is Heidi. One of the best Republic agents ever. She's been working for us in Chevrelium since the Galactic Civil War began, and... *Stares at Heidi* What a disguise. *Walks away*

After leaving the shed, John walked back to the Alpine Bar. Another song was heard in the distance, coming from the bar: link

John: *Looks to the left behind two Imperial Troop Transports, and finds a body. He walks towards it*

It was Jott. He was dead. Blood was coming out of his mouth.

John: *Back inside the bar with Morris* He was heading towards me. Until someone killed him. Did you see where the other three went?
Morris: I couldn't see. This place is very crowded, and there's more than one exit. Anyone of them could have slipped out. If you don't mind me saying so Major, I think there's more to this operation than you're letting me in on. We both know Harrod was killed after he landed. You better start telling me the truth Major, or I'll be leaving this planet on the first ship I see. Now with McPherson dead, there's only five of us left. So either you let me know what's going on or there's only gonna be four.
John: Alright Lieutenant. Earlier this morning, you asked me why you, a man in the Rebel Alliance was in on this mission. The answer is simple really, it's-

While John was talking to Morris, Mary entered the bar in a beige coat, and a black beret.

Heidi: *Talking to Major Von Hapen, and sees Mary. She runs towards her* Maria. *Hugs her* How nice to see you.
Mary: My dear cousin, it's so good to see you again after all these years.
Major Von Hapen: *Walks up to the ladies*
Heidi: May I present to you a very close friend of mine in the Galactic Empire. Major Ulrand Von Hapen.
Major Von Hapen: *Holds Mary's hand* Your cousin told me you would be coming, but Heidi, you did not tell me she was so beautiful.
Mary: Thank you Major.
Major Von Hapen: Perhaps when you are ready to go up to the castle, I will take you to the cable car.
Heidi: And, I'm going with her.
Major Von Hapen: Oh, both of you.
Heidi: We'll go upstairs, and get our things ready. Then we'll go with you to the castle.
Major Von Hapen: I'll be waiting for you here.

Upstairs, Heidi began to give Mary instructions.

Heidi: *Giving papers to Mary* Here are your papers, and a map to the castle. Do your homework well.

But just outside of the bar, five Imperial Troop Transports arrived, with three IFT-D's, and two Imperial Speeders. The Imperial Speeders look like the IFT-X tank, minus the guns.

John: *Sitting at a table with Morris, Barkley, Thomas, and Christianson* Have any of you got information about General Carnaby?
Barkley: No. No one here knows about him.
Imperial Officer: *Kicks the door open, and blows on a whistle*

Stop the song

People: *Frightened*
Stormtroopers: *Run into the bar*
Imperial Officers: *Following the stormtroopers*

One of the officers was Colonel Weissner, who was at the castle in a previous segment of this fan fiction.

Colonel Weissner: *Stands up on a stage* Attention! We're looking for five members of the Galactic Empire that have gone AWOL. They were last seen on this planet.
John: clever. very clever.
Colonel Weissner: I want a thorough search on every officer in this building at once. *Walks up to a stormtrooper* Check their papers.
John: well gentlemen? any suggestions?

Only Morris had an idea.

Morris: I think we'll stand a better chance out there than we will in here.
John: Agreed. Gentlemen, see you after the war.

They stood up, and walked over to Colonel Weissner.

Colonel Weissner: A Major with two women? I gave them permission to leave. *Sees John, and the other four men walk up to him* What is it Major?
John: My friends and I are the ones you're looking for. We've come to surrender.
Colonel Weissner: TX-593.
Stormtrooper 44: *Walks up to the Colonel*
Colonel Weissner: Take the three in for questioning. The Major, and Lieutenant will come with me.

As everyone left, some of the people in the bar began murmuring to each other about the situation, and how frightened they were.

Major Von Hapen arrived at the cable car station with Mary, and Heidi, but there was no car.

Major Von Hapen: Excuse me. *Hits a green button*

A video display turned on in front of Major Von Hapen. It was supposed to show the cable car operator, but no one was seen. A cable car was moving towards them, stopping in the left section of the station.

Finally, the cable car operator stepped into view.

Cable Car Operator: Hello?
Major Von Hapen: Major Von Hapen.
Cable Car Operator: *Nervous* Yes sir!
Major Von Hapen: *Opens the door for Mary, and Heidi* After you two.
Mary: Thank you. *Walks into the cable car with Heidi*
Major Von Hapen: *Walks in, and hits a button, activating a buzzer*

Once the buzzer went off, the cable car operator began to move there car to the station at the castle.

John and Morris were being taken to a prison camp in an Imperial Speeder.

John: *Sitting in the back with Morris, and two stormtroopers*
Colonel Weissner: *Driving the speeder*

Song (Start at 1:42): link

Morris: *Looking at the two officers up front, and moves his head towards the floor*
Stormtroopers 58: *Grabs Morris' arm* Halt!
Morris: It's just my shoelaces. *Looks at the floor, then pushes the stormtrooper out of the speeder*
John: *Fighting with the other stormtrooper. He uses his E11 to shoot the two officers up front*
Colonel Weissner: *Loses control, and crashes into a pile of gravel* Ah!! *Flies out of the speeder, and dies upon landing*

Everyone else was dead. John looked around as Morris went out to get the stormtrooper he pushed.

Morris: *Puts his hand on his nose, and wipes a small spot of blood off*
John: *Gets out of the speeder, and picks up Colonel Weissner. He moves him back to the speeder, and puts him through the window where he flew through*
Morris: *Reaches the Stormtrooper, and picks him up*
John: *Grabs the other officer, and puts him through the left door. He then closes it*
Morris: *Returns with the stormtrooper, and puts him in the speeder* We need to get rid of this thing.
John: *Looks to the right* Over there. Let's push.

They pushed it backwards, away from the gravel. It was hard work, but it would be over soon.

John: *On the left side of the speeder with Morris* Okay, push. *Pushes the speeder with Morris* Push! *Getting towards the cliff* A little more.

Their plan was to push the speeder over the edge. Once it got there, the speeder rolled down the hill by itself.

Morris: *Standing next to John, watching the speeder catch on fire halfway down the cliff*
John: *Watches the speeder flip onto it's top side, landing into a stream*

After watching the destruction, they walked away.

Major Von Hapen was now in the castle with Mary, and Heidi. They walked up to Lieutenant Schwartz's desk.

Major Von Hapen: Good evening Lieutenant. We have a new member for the female staff.
Lieutenant Schwartz: Can I see your papers please?
Mary & Heidi: *Pull out their papers, and give them to Lieutenant Schwartz*
Lieutenant Schwartz: *Looking at the papers, and stands up* Will you come with me please?
Major Von Hapen: I will see you later.
Mary: Thank you Major.

After the three women left, Major Von Hapen examined some papers on the desk.

Colonel Kramer: *Arrives* Did you find anything interesting Major?
Major Von Hapen: *Looks at the Major, but doesn't say a word*
Colonel Kramer: *Walks closer* I heard there was some excitement in the village.
Major Von Hapen: Oh nothing serious, there were just some men that went AWOL. That's all.
Colonel Kramer: Not quite. That was the original report. The five men turned out to be Republic agents, dressed in Imperial uniforms.
Major Von Hapen: Republic agents, why wasn't I informed?
Colonel Kramer: I'm informing you now Major.
Major Von Hapen: Colonel, if you knew they were Republic agents, then you must have known for some time, who they were, and what they were doing.
Colonel Kramer: We went to your office. You were not here.
Major Von Hapen: Colonel I don't have to remind you, that I'm in charge of all activities involving espionage.
Colonel Kramer: You were not here Major!
Major Von Hapen: Then you find me Colonel!
Colonel Kramer: What, do you expect me to search every house, in every village on this planet?!
Major Von Hapen: I know your duties, and your loyalties.
Colonel Kramer: Well let me remind you Major, that I am a Colonel in the Galactic Empire. And not some Stormtrooper that can be frightened with your threats!
Major Von Hapen: Your rank, and position are familiar to me Colonel! And so are your attempts to discredit me with my superiors on Endor!
Colonel Kramer: If there is any discredit, you bring it upon yourself. Goodnight. *Walks away*

Heidi arrived with Mary to her room.

Heidi: *Closes the door, and walks to Mary. She puts her suitcase on the bed, and opens it* Here are the things you'll need. *Pulls out a DH17* Another blaster in case your current one overheats. *Pulls out the map of the castle, six hundred feet of rope, and a ball of yarn with a hook attached to one end* The map, rope, and yarn. Good luck cousin.
Mary: *Watches Heidi leave*

John, and Morris returned to the depot, and got back into their snowsuits. They were packing some of the bags with supplies.

John: *Holding two light sticks, a smaller version of a lightsaber* We may need these. *Set them down next to a bag*
Morris: I guess it's occurred to you now that the Imperials know what we're up to.
John: The thought did cross my mind. *Turns on the radio* Broadsword calling Danny Boy, Broadsword calling Danny Boy. Over. Broadsword calling Danny Boy, Broadsword calling Danny Boy. Over.
Republic Corporal: *Hears John, and walks into Admiral Roland's room* It's Broadsword sir. *Returns to the radio*
Admiral Roland & Colonel Turner: *Standing behind the Corporal*
Republic Corporal: Danny Boy calling Broadsword. Come in Broadsword.
John: McPherson murdered. The other three have been captured. We are making our way into the castle now. Please have transport standing by.
Admiral Roland: Pull out now Major, save yourselves.
John: You must be joking. Over, and out.
Admiral Roland: That is an order Broadsword.

But there was no reply.

Admiral Roland: Broadsword? Broadsword? *Panicking* Come in Broadsword! *Waits three seconds* Broadsword!
Republic Corporal: They're gone sir.
Colonel Turner: *Faces away from the radio* DAMMIT!! It's all my fault.
Admiral Roland: It's all our fault Colonel.
Colonel Turner: Maybe I'm getting too old.
Admiral Roland: There's nothing more you could have done. *Sighs* Well, there's no doubt about it now. The Imperials have totally penetrated the Republic. They know every move we make before we make it.
Colonel Turner: Where are they getting it all from? We handpicked every man for this operation. We have top security.
Admiral Roland: Security? That, along with the rest of the Republic is starting to become a joke.

After ignoring Admiral Roland's orders to retreat, Major Smith, and Lieutenant Schaffer continued packing the bags for their operation.

John: *Hearing speeders approach, and goes towards a window. He looks out, careful to make sure he won't get spotted*
Imperials: *Arriving in IFT-D's, and Imperial Troop Transports with Stormtroopers*
Imperial Officer: Go! Send a squad in there to find the intruders!
John: We got company. *Turns off the lights*

Song: link

John: I'll pack the rest of the bags. Head out the back window.
Morris: Alright. *Holding two bags, he walks to the back window*
John: *Carrying three more bags*

The other two had explosives. John took out one of them, and placed it on a wall, very close to the ground.

John: *Takes a tiny ball out of the trap. A wire is attached to the ball. He moves is across to the other wall across the floor. He steps over the wire, and heads to Morris, carrying the three bags*
Morris: *Climbing out the window. Once he's outside, he helps John get the bags outside*
Imperial Officer: *Kicks the door open, and turns on the lights*
John: *Climbs out the window, and walks towards a bridge with Morris*

They waited under the bridge.

Imperial Officer: *Walking, he turns to the right, heading towards the trap*
Three Stormtroopers: *Following the Officer*
Imperial Officer: *Getting closer to the trap, his right foot moves forward, hitting the wire, activating the trap*

With the two bags full of explosives, the explosion was big enough to take out three IFT-D's, two Imperial Troop Transports, and another one that was coming towards them. The fire from the explosion was colossal, engulfing not only the shed, but the Imperial vehicles surrounding it.

John & Morris: *Moving out from under the bridge, they head towards two bushes next to a tree. Since it's cold for snow, there are no leaves, but there are lots of branches on the bushes*

Stop the song

An alarm went off: link

Stormtroopers: *Moving weapons away from the fire*
Other Stormtroopers: *Fighting the fire with extinguishers*

A few more explosions occurred from time to time, due to detpacks, thermal detonators, and other explosives being too close.

Two officers arrived on a speeder bike, with a sidecar.

Officers: *Get out of the speeder bike, signalling vehicles to move away from the fire*
Morris: *Pulls out his lightstick, and activates it, showing a blue blade*
Officer: *Signalling an Imperial Troop Transport to go left*

As it passed, Morris took this as an opportunity.

Morris: *Moves up, and stabs the officer in the back of his neck*

He moved down as the transport went away.

Officer 2: *Notices his partner is missing, and turns on his flashlight*
John: *Sees the light moving towards him, and tries to hide himself as best as he can, with the branches from the bush*
Officer 2: *Spots John, and pulls out his blaster*
John: *Shoots Officer 2 in the neck*

With both officers down, John, and Morris could take the speeder bike. John got into the sidecar, letting Morris drive.

Morris: *Moves forward, heading towards the fire*
Imperials: *Fighting the fire, not noticing John, or Morris*
Morris: *Heads for the bridge. He passes six Imperial Troopers, running across the bridge. He looks back at them for a second, then looks forward again*
Stormtrooper: *Raising the gate for an IFT-D*
Morris: *Passes as the gate goes up*
John: *Looks back
Stormtrooper: *Not doing anything to stop them*
John: *Laughs*

They reached the end of the road, and turned left, passing an Imperial Troop Transport.

John: *Looks back. No one is trying to chase them. They are in the clear*

Outside of the village, John, and Morris were placing explosive traps on telephone poles. Their wires were attached to smaller plastic poles.

John: *Putting a trap on a tree, and moves it's wire towards one of the plastic poles*
Morris: *Moves up to the last pole on the speeder bike. He gets out, and places the last trap on the pole, and gets it's wire attached to another plastic pole*
John: *Walks back to the speeder bike, and gets into the sidecar*
Morris: *Gets back in the driver's seat, and heads back to the village*

Back at the cable car station, Heidi was returning from the castle after helping Mary get settled in.

Heidi: *Walks out of the cable car, dressed in a black fur coat, with a matching fur hat*
Stormtrooper: *Walks out of a room, and looks at Heidi as she leaves the station*

When John and Morris returned to the village it started to snow. It was heavy, and falling down fast.

Morris: *Stops the speeder bike next to a big shed. They both get out, and walk into the sheds*
John: *Looks at dead protocol droid next to a broken speeder. Then, he looks at a red speeder bus* Put one bag in the bus, and see if you can start it.
Morris: *Goes into the bus*
John: *Heads towards two doors. He looks out a hole, and sees an Imperial Troop Transport pass, along with a few passing stormtroopers*

The snow was getting lighter, and falling slower as John looked outside. He pushed the doors gently. They were locked, but with enough speed from the speeder bus, the doors would go down easily.

John: *Walks back to Morris* How goes it?
Morris: *Checking the engine up front* Try, and give it a start.
John: *Sits down, and hits the start button*

The engine hummed quietly at first, but got louder as the bus started. It hovered above the ground as it gained more power from the engine.

Morris: *Nods, closing the hood*
John: *Turns off the bus*

They had everything set up for their escape. Now it was time to go into the castle.

John, and Morris walked into the center of the village, where the cable car station was. Three Imperial Troop Transports stopped next to the station.

Stormtrooper 75: *Opens the back door*
Stormtrooper 62: *Pushes Barkley, Thomas, and Christianson out* Go. Into the cable car station.

Song: link

John & Morris: *Climbing a ladder to the roof of the cable car station*

They walked towards the edge, climbed over a fence, and waited for the cable car to move up.

Barkley: *With Thomas, and Christianson. Their hands are tied with rope as they are being moved to the cable car station by two stormtroopers*
Imperial Officer: *Talking into a video messenger* Yes, Captain Mulloch with three prisoners.
Cable Car Operator: Alright. *Moves a lever, making their cable car move towards the castle*

John, and Morris got on the arm of the cable car as it slowly started to move out of the station. They stood on the arm, looking down at the cable moving them towards the castle.

John: *Points down to the roof*
Morris: *Climbs down to the roof with John. They both kneel*

The cable car slowly gained altitude as it moved closer to the castle.

Meanwhile, inside the castle...

Mary: *Carrying a suitcase, walking through a corridor, passing an Imperial Trooper. She makes her way towards a door, and knocks. There is no reply, so she opens the door. Entering the room, Mary locks the door behind her, and opens her suitcase. She pulls out a pair of macrobinoculars, and goes towards a window. She looks outside, and sees John and Morris on top of a cable car*

Skip the song to 2:31

John & Morris: *Looking forward as the cable car moves towards the castle*
Mary: *Walks back to her suitcase, pulls out the rope with a hook attached to the ball of string, and looks at a support beam on the roof. She hits a piece of wood above the beam. After three hits, the wood falls off*
John & Morris: *Looking at the castle. The closer they get, the bigger it looks*
Mary: *Puts one end of the rope around the beam, and ties it around the beam*

Back on top of the cable car, the wind began to blow.

Morris: *Looks down, and sees an Imperial Troop Transport travelling parallel to a stream*
John: *Taps Morris' shoulder*
Morris: *Looks at John*
John: *Points up at the arm*

They climbed up the arm of the cable car, and sat on the top section, above the cables.

Morris: *Sitting behind John*
John: *Looking at the castle as they get closer*

They were now close enough to see lights coming from some of the castle windows.

John: *Looking at the cable car station below the castle*
Imperials: *Walking around the station, some are reading papers*

Though they were close enough to see the Imperials in the station, no one was looking at them. The cable car was getting closer.

John & Morris: *Pull out their light sticks, and activate the blades*
Imperials: *Leaving the station, except for the cable car operator*

Morris, and John were now close enough to get onto the roof, and climb up to the castle.

John: *Gets on the roof*
Morris: *To the right of John. They both put their blades into the roof to climb up*

Then there was trouble.

Morris: *Loses grip of his light stick, and falls down to the edge. His legs are dangling helplessly in mid-air, the top half of his body still on the roof. He grabs his light stick as it falls towards him, and sticks it into the roof, but it's not enough. His legs are still over the edge*
John: *Makes it to the top, sticking his hand out for Morris*
Morris: *Reaching for John's hand*
John: *Holds out his light stick*
Morris: *Reaching out for it*
John: *Panicking*
Morris: *Grabs it*
John: *Relieved*
Morris: *Activates John's light stick, using the green blade to stick it into the roof. He climbs up, using both light sticks to make it to John. Once he gets to the top, he gives John back his light stick*
John: *Walks to the left*
Morris: *Follows*

They were walking towards an area where they could get below Mary's window. The path they were using was narrow, but it was the only way to get to where they needed to go.

Mary: *Sees John, and Morris coming, and lowers the hook, attached to the string, tied onto the rope*

When they got below Mary's window, the path was no longer narrow.

John: *Sees Mary's hook, and takes off his backpack*
Morris: *Puts his backpack down next to John's*
Mary: *Lowers the hook all the way down*
John: *Looks up*
Mary: *Waving at John, signalling him to climb up*
John: *Grabs the rope, and starts to climb up, but looks at Morris* Leave one bag behind, and tie the other one to the end of the rope. *Continues to climb*
Morris: *Watching John climb up as he attaches his backpack to Mary's hook*
John: *Halfway up to Mary's window*

There was another window John climbed past, and a song was heard playing: link

John: *Looks through the window*
Imperial Officer: *Asleep, holding an empty bottle of scotch*
John: *Rolls his eyes, continuing the climb*

The song faded away, as John moved up towards Mary. He finally climbed up through the window, and was exhausted.

John: *Sits down, breathing heavily* That goddamn climb nearly killed me.
Mary: You shouldn't be going on these insane missions. You're getting too old.
John: *Takes off his hat, and snowsuit, revealing his Imperial Officer's uniform* Thank you for your words of kindness.
Morris: *Climbing up the wall to Mary*
Mary: *Looks down, and sees Morris, then watches John take off the rest of his suit* Why don't you give him a hand?
John: What for? He can take care of himself. Besides, if I could make it on my own, why not he?
Morris: *Makes it to the top, but struggles to get through the window* You wouldn't, mind giving me a hand here, would you?
John: *Goes to Morris, and helps him climb up*
Morris: *Takes off his hat, and begins to remove his snowsuit. He looks at Mary* You seem to have a lot of women stashed on this planet Major.
John: This is another Republic agent. Mary meet Morris Schaffer of the Rebellion.
Mary: Hello.
Morris: How do you do?
Mary: *Pulling up the backpack*
Morris: *Removes his snowsuit, and puts his hat back on*
John: *Puts his hat back on* Do you still have the map?
Mary: *Pulls it out*
John: *Points to a room marked Golden Hall* Meet us in this room at exactly fifteen minutes. We'll be waiting for you there.

With that, he and Morris left Mary by herself in the room.

2 B Continued
added by Windwakerguy430
video
posted by Seanthehedgehog
You must stare at this for 20 seconds before continuing the fan fiction
You must stare at this for 20 seconds before continuing the fan fiction



Song: link

Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. Pingas!

The circle comes in from the right, followed by WindWakerGuy430. When it stops, a lightning bolt appears in the circle.
The circle comes in from the right, followed by WindWakerGuy430. When it stops, a lightning bolt appears in the circle.


The fan fiction begins with a school bus stopping at a small intersection in Frenchtown. Frenchtown is ten miles west of Ponyville.

SeanTheHedgehog Presents

A Windwakerguy430 Fan Fiction

Guy

Ponies: *Getting off the bus*

Starring three news OC's from SeanTheHedgehog

Guy, Harrison, and Tate

Also starring Colgate as Guy's mom...
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I love animation. It is a very fascinating idea, allowing people to create moving works of art. What makes animation so amazing is how people use it. From the wonderful work of Western animation, to the beautiful designs of Japanese anime, to the computer made CGI, animation is just about everywhere nowadays. And, trust me, there are a lot of animated shows. Some good, some bad, some god awful atrocities, and some… just weird. Thankfully, there are more good animated shows than there are bad ones. One hundred is about as much as I can think of. Of course, I can think of more, but if I did,...
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video
posted by Windwakerguy430
~5:30 PM
October 9th 2079
Takedown TV Stadium - Janitor’s Hall~

Alice: (She was placing some clothes into a small bag, unable to stay here after what she did. The looks she had gotten from Beck, Gregory and Simon and despite it all, Apollo continued to treat her with respect. It was an awful feeling, knowing that the person who beat her in the fight continued to treat her as if nothing happened. It made her ill. As she was putting her things away, there was a knock at the door)
Carlos: (He opened the door and walked in) Hey, Alice. You okay
Alice: (She hid her bag underneath the blanket from...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
~Story~

In the year 30XX, the world is ravaged by thousands of monsters and villains, with humans in fear of them. One day, a band of heroes came along, with immense strength and powers and have dedicated their lives to fighting evil and protecting humans around the world. However, though these heroes are loved for their work and power, they are also very rude and look down on wanna-be heroes, especially humans heroes who have no powers. One of these heroes being known as Crimson Salvation, also known as Berry Merlot. He is a police officer, with an ex-wife named Scarlet and two daughters, the...
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You know, whenever I am not reading a whole bunch of shitty fanfiction, I read different books… Yes, I actually read books. It’s weird. Shakespeare just so happens to be one of those stories I read. One of his stories being the classic play, The Tempest. This was one of his last plays before he died, as it portrayed a story of kindness and love in a story filled with hatred and revenge. It was a wonderful story…. So naturally, Hollywood came to give it a proper anal raping that all films based on books get. Let’s take a look and see how Hoolywood fucked this story so hard.
So, if you...
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So, yeah, it’s been some time since I did another one of these, and since people really seem to like them, I thought, why not. So, here is part six of my mini rants. Enjoy.

TV - Now, I really hate TV nowadays. I have not watched TV in three years. That’s how much I have grown to hate television. All it is nowadays is a bunch of comedy shows that aren’t funny, drama shows that aren’t suspenseful, action shows that aren’t awesome, and a whole fucking dump truck if unfunny sitcoms, and god awful reality shows, and you all know how much I hate reality shows. And if bad television shows...
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#20: Joe Ball’s World



Here’s a lost game coming from a Spanish company, Extreme Soft. The game was created back in 1994 by the company, but for some mysterious reason, Joe Ball’s World was lost. Now, for some reason, people have speculated that this game is a reference to the real life Joe Ball, a real nice guy, most known for his nickname, The Butcher of Elmendorf and killing around two to twenty people. Now, why would a company want to name their game after an infamous serial killer, I do not know. And then, the gameplay footage came onto Youtube mysteriously one day. This gameplay...
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Art by AquaMarine
Art by AquaMarine
I’m gonna be honest with you people, I have never seen the original The Hills Have Eyes, but from what I have heard, the budget was far less than the remake, and the original didn’t have modern day special effects or camera work to be a well known classic amongst horror movies. So, naturally, the remake wouldn’t be too hard to be good, or at the least scary…. And yeah… It’s pretty messed up alright. Well, let’s stop stalling at get to the 2006 remake of The Hills Have Eyes



The movie follows a small family travelling from Cleveland Ohio to San Diego California. The family...
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So, we all know the popular urban legends. From the original stories of BigFoot, to more modern legends such as the Slender Man. But, there aren't just original monsters in the world of Urban Legends. They're are also urban legends about video games. And thanks to the internet, it has made the legends even more well known. So, I will go ahead and tell you all the urban legends that I enjoyed. Note: These are theories that are creepy, disturbing, and just plane messed up. Do not blame me if your childhood is ruined.

Specters of Shiverburn Galaxy
Specters of Shiverburn Galaxy


#15: Specters of Shiverburn Galaxy from Super...
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Art by Alinah_09
Art by Alinah_09
So, after watching the 1992 Dracula movie, I couldn’t wait to get started on a new Dracula movie. That was when I saw this one produced by Dimension, the same people that did From Dusk Till Dawn, another vampire movie that I have some good feelings for, so I decided to give this next movie a try…. Let’s just say that we had to get to a bad movie this month eventually. And boy, did this movie manage to do just that. The movie in question is known as Dracula 2000. Yes, that is actually the name they went with.



So, before I get started with this crap, I just want to point something...
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#10: “What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets. But enough talk! Have at you!” - Dracula, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

#9: “I HAVE FURY” - Fawful, Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga

#8: “For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday” - M Bison, Street Fighter

#7: "See, this is what I don't get about you bad guys. You know the hero's gonna win, but you never just die quickly-- man, this one guy in New Haven, right? City's burning, people dying, blah blah blah. This guy rushes me with a spoon. A freaking spoon....
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Now, there are a lot of movies out there that are insanely funny. You have Caddyshack, Planes Trains and Automobiles, and of course all of the Monty Python movies. But, then there are THOSE comedy movies. The ones that rely too much on jokes that are not even close to funny and wouldn’t even make a two-year-old laugh. So, I want to tell you the comedy movies that made me feel like an idiot. Now, there aren’t much rules with this list, so I’ll stop wasting time and get on with the list

#10: Kickin’ it Old Skool - You know you’re reading a GREAT list when the first movies best joke is...
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Oh, boy, another Alpha and Omega fanfic. This time, it’s a creepypasta, known by the name Eyeless. Is it as bad as Lily’s Opposite Side…….. Okay, maybe no Alpha and Omega fanfic is worse than Lily’s Opposite Side. Is Eyeless bad? Lets find out.
So, it starts with Humphrey being in a house he finds…. How does he find it, why does he stay in it, what purpose does this place have, are none of these questions getting answered? I bet the last one is a big fat no. The first paragraph - THE FIRST PARAGRAPH - and it already has problems. So, Humphrey sees this picture of a family of wolves...
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Hello, everyone, and welcome to my Top Ten Lovable Douchebags in Video Games. So, what makes a character a douchebag. Well, they have to do a bunch of horrible things, and feel no remorse. But, what makes a lovable douchebag. simple. Its the same thing, but their antics are so great, you can’t help but like them. So, today, I present the ten douchebags we can’t help but love

#10: Luis from Resident Evil 4 - The first time you meet this guy, all he wants is a cigarette. Yep, he’s funny already. And, if you were stuck in a village filled with insane, murderous villagers, would smoking be...
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Song: link

Tim: Finally, a peaceful song that won't cause controversy.
Wayne: Did someone say controversy?! *Punches Tim*
Coffee Creme: *Punches Commander Kane*
Liam: *Hits Derek with a chair*
Lewis: We're the good guys!
Liam: It's the song man! I can't help it!
Mily: *Watching the fight* Well, looks like I'm hosting again. Why does everyone fight over the song?
Blossom: I don't know!
Buttercup: *Shoots Blossom with laser vision*
Mily: Ouch. I better show you the schedule before I get attacked. Enjoy! *Takes off quickly*

8 PM - Now

Johnny Lightning
Gran Turismo

8:30 PM - Later

Six Shooters 4

Langley Virginia,...
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Song: link

Sonic: *Playing with a laptop as it plays music* I am the DJ. Party on until the show starts.
Wayne: *Dancing with Ms. Heart*
Leon: What are we supposed to do?
Stan: We are talking trains.
Sebastian: We cannot dance like anyone else at this party.
Xavier: I guess we need to be patient, and wait until the show starts then.
Sean The Hedgehog: Agreed. While my cousin plays the role of being the DJ, I shall be your host tonight for Sean's Spectacular Saturday of Stories. I'm Sean The Hedgehog from On The Block, and here's our schedule tonight.

8 PM

On The Block - Back2Back

8:30 PM

Thomas &...
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