So horror movies…. I’m seeing a lot of movie, not a lot of horror. It takes a lot for me to be disturbed by a movie nowadays. Books have the ability to let you think about the horror and let you imagine it yourself, and video games let you experience it from a first hand perspective, but movies are not the best with making you feel scared. Even the good horror movies don’t do a good job at being scary. However, there is a subgenre out there that uses low budget and haunting imagery to give it a disturbing feeling. The world of exploitation horror films. So, today, on Hallow’s Eve, I have five exploitation horror movies here. I originally had ten, but I was never going to make it, so some had to be cut. Blacula, you will be missed. If this goes well, maybe I’ll do another next year. Who knows. But for now, let us start this off. I’ll be reviewing the worst of the batch first and move on to the best. So let us start with that

Slumber Party Massacre



You know, when I started this film off, I was kind of expecting it to be a hidden gem among slasher films, or at the very least, a laughably cheesy one. But no, Slumber Party Massacre is just painfully boring to me. The film is set in small town America where a group of high school girls have a slumber party while their parents are away. However, a serial killer escapes from prison and begins terrorizing the town, killing anyone he runs into with a power drill and making his way to the girls slumber party. It’s a simple plot, but so are many slasher classics. Sadly, this film doesn’t really do much. It was planned out to be a parody of horror films, yet instead, it became a straight horror film. I think that was this films undoing, as now it is just a rather dull film. There are some jokes that remained, and I will admit, I got one chuckle out of this movie. Just one. The kills aren’t anything special, even for gore hounds. You get one neat kill with the pizza boy and one neat scene where the screams from an old horror film blend with the screams of the killer’s victim, but really, all this movie does that is good is just okay at best, and that’s not really that interesting. A lot of this film is filled with fake out scares, and it does it every time. I counted there being seven fake out scares before the actual killer showed up, and his was the least interesting. Yes, really. And the longer I watched this movie, the more I started to realize. A couple of kids in a neighborhood left to defend themselves as a crazed recently escaped killer is on the prowl. This is just bargain bin Halloween. Even some of the scenes are exactly similar to it. So, yeah, in short, just watch Halloween. Slumber Party Massacre is not worth your time at all, I promise you. Watch any other slasher film from the 80s, I assure you they will be more enjoyable.

Nekromantik



I fucking hate this movie, honestly a bit more than Slumber Party Massacre. I’ll give it this, like I said, it takes a lot for a film to disturb me, and this film definitely did that. This film is about a couple in Germany that are into necrophilia. The lead character, being responsible for cleaning up corpses, brings a rotting corpse home to his girlfriend as they start to…. Ugh, fuck this movie. Point is, the corpse gets in the way of the relationship and a lot of weird imagery or something, a rabbit gets skinned for an uncomfortably long time, and I just want to vomit. I will give credit where it is due, the film grain and haunting imagery really works well with the disturbing nature of the film. It also has this bizarre tone that goes on, where there are these horrifying scenes of the couple playing with body parts while this cheery music is going on in the background. This film has one of the more unique soundtracks to it, with such strange imagery and odd timing that I can’t help but get a little uncomfortable with is. That said, this movie is not subtle with its subject matter. All the bizarre images like a rotting corpse playing with organs while a woman in white dances with him- Does this sound like a fever dream, because it sure does! Anyway, it’s clear what this film is trying to say. It’s not exactly David Lynch and boy does this movie have a habit of thinking it’s smarter than it actually is. Maybe there is more to this movie, I don’t know, but I refuse to find out. I hate this movie, it makes me wanna puke, but why is it up higher than Slumber Party Massacre? Simple, Nekromantik got a reaction out of me, while Slumber Party Massacre was a movie I kept looking at the clock to see how long it was going for. I’d rather watch a disgusting mess rather than a dull movie. So, good job Nekromantik. I hate literally everything about you, but at least you weren’t boring.

Zombi 2



Now here is a film that probably has a more interesting production history than the actual film itself. Zombi 2 was actually an original script in Italy, but the studio wanted this to be advertised as a sequel to George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead. As a result, the Zombi franchise itself started to become a mess. So much in fact that the Wikipedia page talking about it is a fucking mess with Geroge A. Romero apparently having telepathy… if Wikipedia says it’s true, then who am I to argue. Anyway, Zombi 2, or just Zombi, follows a woman, a journalist, and other folk as they arrive on an island to find her father, only to find a doctor that is doing what he can to fight off the zombie plague that has arisen on the island due to voodoo. Now a lot of zombie films don’t really touch on the voodoo zombies aside from the 1930s film White Zombie, so it’s neat to see this film use that, even if it ends up being similar to other zombie films of the time. The zombies don’t show up much at the start, but when they do, it does have an effect, especially the costumes and special effects of them. These aren’t just freshly dead zombies, there are zombies that come from a conquistador graveyard with worms and rotting flesh. It’s actually amazing how good the effects on these zombies look. That said, the characters aren’t the most memorable. Hell, clearly not since I just call them woman and journalist and doctor. The sad thing is that Zombi doesn’t really do much to separate itself from other zombie films. It doesn’t have the underlying satire of any George A. Romero films or the unique style of zombies like in Return of the Dead. That said, it’s not the worst zombie film out there. It’s a decent film if you are one of the five people that still like zombie films. Just be warned that the production history is a total disaster, so be prepared if you plan on diving into this franchise.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre



It’s really not fair to compare Texas Chainsaw Massacre to slasher films like Friday the 13th or Nightmare on Elm Street. While Friday the 13th has the gory kills and Nightmare on Elm Street has the spectacle, Texas Chainsaw Massacre is probably the most disturbing of the major slasher films thanks to being an exploitation film. The film follows a group of teens heading out into the country, only for their car to stop near a gas station and a house nearby, unknowing that the home and everywhere close by is run by a family of cannibalistic serial killers, with Leatherface wandering inside with a hammer and a chainsaw. The build up to the house is a slow one, but it adds to the feel with the use of lightning and cinematography. They know that the area is filled with its own share of odd individuals, thanks to one of them getting cut by a hitchhiker, but once they reach the house filled with the bones of past victims, it all hits them like a hammer. And speaking of getting hit with a hammer, Leatherface cracks them in the head with a hammer. There’s a reason why Leatherface is so remembered. He’s not the most cunning killer, or the most creative, but the way he behaves with his mentally unstable grunting and his angry shouts makes it far more disturbing for someone, especially with the use of the film grain. This film doesn’t have the gore you would expect from your usual exploitation film, or a shitty remake that we won’t talk about, but what violence that there is is still haunting, from seeing a man getting struck with a hammer to a woman being left dangling on a meat hook. And the lighting from a moonlit night to the rising sun over the countryside in the ending, it all adds to the film looking less like a horror film and more like a documentary on a crazed family. Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a film where the low budget really works with it’s tone and is a reason why I think it still holds up. Give it a watch if you want something special…. Or you can go watch Leatherface and hate modern cinema like I do.

Death Proof



Now this is a film that has nothing but admiration for the old exploitation films of the past. Death Proof is all about a stunt driver, Mike, as he gets uses his car to slaughter woman. His car is only death Proof for the driver, but for anyone that comes into contact with him gets torn to pieces. The film is, of course, a Tarantino film. You can tell because there's feet in almost every scene of the movie. But seriously, you can see the themes all over the film, what with the dialogue and similar camera shots that make the film an interesting film to watch. A lot of people I know hate the long scenes of nothing but dialogue and just want to watch the splatterfest, which I say… what’s wrong with you? But I honestly enjoy the long dialogue scenes. Tarantino has a way of making conversations sound interesting. Most movies have people giving exposition in their conversations and it just doesn’t sound human, but Tarantino is able to get people to talk about the most basic things while keeping it interesting with character interactions and camera angles. Mike comes off as this interesting but intimidating character that can still be able to attract attention, and I think that makes the scenes where he kills people much more haunting. Of course, this film isn’t really all that scary. It has a lot of gory scenes and can definitely put some people off, but this film is mostly a wild car chase film, at least in the second half. Never have I had more fun watching three women drive a dying man off the road. Is it among the greatest of Tarantino’s work? Probably not. But if you watch it all on it’s own, or alongside Planet Terror that was part of the Grindhouse double feature, you will have a good time. Maybe I’ll talk about Planet Terror one day. But as of now, Death Proof is one of the more fun exploitation horror films

So there you go, five exploitation films for Halloween. Some good, most made me hate my life. Did I get scared. A bit. More disgusted than hateful. But I did find some gems in this, Death Proof especially. I hope you all find some enjoyment out of these movies, hopefully not too much with one, and next year… Maybe… I will get to Blacula. Don’t you worry. Blacula will return! So Happy Halloween and a Merry Kwanzaa too.