“Yes, I am,” I said calmly. I felt sick to my stomach even as I said it.
“Why?” asked Grey as if it were not obvious.
“I love him,” I said.
“I thought you loved me,” she said, tears in her eyes. Although I saw tears, I also saw hate and fire.
“You were mistaken,” I said, it was cruel, but true. I loved Alexander more than her.
“Why don’t you love me?” she asked.
“You raped me, and I married you only because the baby,” I said. “Then I stayed with you, because I thought you would get your dad to tell the psychiatric board I wasn’t ready for the job.”
“Wait…What baby?” Grey asked her brow furrowed.
“The baby…You got pregnant the night you raped me. You had a miscarriage, remember?” she had to remember, right? Maybe she had repressed it, but it wasn’t like her to repress things. That was more my style.
“Oh my God,” Grey laughed, and shook her head. “You really fell for that?”
“Fell for what?”
“I lied to you. I was never pregnant. I told you a lie, and I knew you would marry me. You would never let a child suffer,” said Grey. Something inside me broke. It was one thing to lie, but it was another thing to lie about a child.
“How dare you…You’re such a bitch, a selfish, hateful bitch,” I spat. I tried organizing words in my mind. It wasn’t working.
“I didn’t know any other way,” she said coolly.
“Why did you want me anyway? Was it not obvious enough that I was gay? You’ve kept me in misery for years,” I said.
“I wanted you, because you were sexy. We would be all the rage, and I wanted that. I knew you were gay, but I thought I could turn you…I was wrong,” she said her head down.
“Yes, you were wrong; because of you I have been stressed. All I’ve wanted was Alexander, but no, I couldn’t have him. I was with you, and you kept me on such a tight leash Grey,” I said, furious. “I was ready to commit suicide, and it was all your fault.”
“Damien, I’m sorry,” Grey said, but it was not sincere.
“No you aren’t,” I walked up the stairs she trailed behind me.
“Damn it Damien, you’re such a bastard! How do you know what I feel? Why do you do blame me? It’s your own fault! I never said that you couldn’t leave me,” she said.
“You implied it. The way you would talk about me, how you treated me. I am your toy! That’s it, and if I would’ve left, my career would be over,” I said. Grey had a look on her face, she knew I was right.
“Leave, now,” she said sternly.
“I will,” I took my suitcase out of the closet and walked out of the house. I was furious I had to calm down. I would never go back…Never…
“Why?” asked Grey as if it were not obvious.
“I love him,” I said.
“I thought you loved me,” she said, tears in her eyes. Although I saw tears, I also saw hate and fire.
“You were mistaken,” I said, it was cruel, but true. I loved Alexander more than her.
“Why don’t you love me?” she asked.
“You raped me, and I married you only because the baby,” I said. “Then I stayed with you, because I thought you would get your dad to tell the psychiatric board I wasn’t ready for the job.”
“Wait…What baby?” Grey asked her brow furrowed.
“The baby…You got pregnant the night you raped me. You had a miscarriage, remember?” she had to remember, right? Maybe she had repressed it, but it wasn’t like her to repress things. That was more my style.
“Oh my God,” Grey laughed, and shook her head. “You really fell for that?”
“Fell for what?”
“I lied to you. I was never pregnant. I told you a lie, and I knew you would marry me. You would never let a child suffer,” said Grey. Something inside me broke. It was one thing to lie, but it was another thing to lie about a child.
“How dare you…You’re such a bitch, a selfish, hateful bitch,” I spat. I tried organizing words in my mind. It wasn’t working.
“I didn’t know any other way,” she said coolly.
“Why did you want me anyway? Was it not obvious enough that I was gay? You’ve kept me in misery for years,” I said.
“I wanted you, because you were sexy. We would be all the rage, and I wanted that. I knew you were gay, but I thought I could turn you…I was wrong,” she said her head down.
“Yes, you were wrong; because of you I have been stressed. All I’ve wanted was Alexander, but no, I couldn’t have him. I was with you, and you kept me on such a tight leash Grey,” I said, furious. “I was ready to commit suicide, and it was all your fault.”
“Damien, I’m sorry,” Grey said, but it was not sincere.
“No you aren’t,” I walked up the stairs she trailed behind me.
“Damn it Damien, you’re such a bastard! How do you know what I feel? Why do you do blame me? It’s your own fault! I never said that you couldn’t leave me,” she said.
“You implied it. The way you would talk about me, how you treated me. I am your toy! That’s it, and if I would’ve left, my career would be over,” I said. Grey had a look on her face, she knew I was right.
“Leave, now,” she said sternly.
“I will,” I took my suitcase out of the closet and walked out of the house. I was furious I had to calm down. I would never go back…Never…