This place is totally different from how Bea told me how is was. Freedom? I feel like a lab rat and everything is limited. They watch you do everything, and all the pills that they give you, you have to take them and they watch you take them.Yet, Janice doesn't take them. I've seen her little tricks, and I must say for myself that it's pretty brilliant how she does it. They watch her take them, but then after they leave, she takes them out of her mouth, puts them in her pockets, and then around nighttime or so, she'll trade with another girl for pills that Janice wants. This goes against everything that teachers and parents have taught me, but have I even gave a shit what they've taught me? Of course not! I'll be willing to do that. I mean, I'm pretty slick in a way. I've gotten away with some crazy antics before. Yet, Iah's always there to pull the collar of my shirt and tell me otherwise. Hell, he makes better parents than our actual ones. It's not about the discipline, but the care that he has for me. He actually cares, unlike Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad just yell at me, scream at me, suspect that I did something wrong, and Mom just cries about me and is scared and Dad always blames me for that. It's just a shameful and pathetic life that my parents live. At least I've lived before and now I've pretty much died. I mean, I have limited freedom, it's hard to rebel when they hold you down and put you in straight-jackets. I haven't been in one (just yet), but Janice gets into them A LOT!!! I mean, she's not really rude to me or anything, but I don't try to avoid her. Look, if she does nothing with me, then I don't mind her talking to me. People keep telling to avoid her, but they talk to her too. I don't understand that. I talk to her because she's someone to talk to. Yet that doesn't mean I automatically like her. I don't like the way she treats Dina. Like earlier today at breakfast, this is what happened:
I sat down at a table by myself, and Shannon, Dina, and Janice followed. We all had trays of food, except for Dina who just had a quart of white milk with a straw. We kinda just ate in silence, until Janice looked at Dina and said,"You know, cows shouldn't drink milk, unless they're babies.When a grown cow does that, it's stealing from your young." Dina ignored her, and Shannon got upset and said,"Shut up! Because of you, Dina gets sicker everyday. Just leave her alone. She never messes with you." Janice just giggled and kept eating. Dina looked over at Shannon and said,"I like it that you try to stand up for me, but she isn't making me sicker." "But she-" "Janice isn't the root of my problem. There is a creature on this Earth way worse than her." Janice giggled and joked,"Who? Your mom?" "Actually, yeah. How did you know that?" "I was joking. What? Your mom is that bad?" "Yeah." Shannon snapped at Janice and said,"Don't make her upset. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about her." "Did I ask about her mom?" "Kinda. You asked if her mom was that bad." Dina got up and said,"Look! I want you two just to shut up! Janice, quit being such a bitch to me, and Shannon quit trying to baby me! I hate insults, yet at the same time I hate this baby pity that you have for me. You know what? Everyone here has a crappy lifestyle! If they didn't, why are they screwed up and have to come here to live? So why baby me, when everyone else needs it more than me? I'm sick, I'll admit. My mom's a psycho and she deserves to stay here more than me, but do I complain constantly? No! I don't whine like a little girl. I do what I want to do, and I don't need your insults and pity." Dina walked away, and we finished our breakfast in silence. This is going to take forever.
I sat down at a table by myself, and Shannon, Dina, and Janice followed. We all had trays of food, except for Dina who just had a quart of white milk with a straw. We kinda just ate in silence, until Janice looked at Dina and said,"You know, cows shouldn't drink milk, unless they're babies.When a grown cow does that, it's stealing from your young." Dina ignored her, and Shannon got upset and said,"Shut up! Because of you, Dina gets sicker everyday. Just leave her alone. She never messes with you." Janice just giggled and kept eating. Dina looked over at Shannon and said,"I like it that you try to stand up for me, but she isn't making me sicker." "But she-" "Janice isn't the root of my problem. There is a creature on this Earth way worse than her." Janice giggled and joked,"Who? Your mom?" "Actually, yeah. How did you know that?" "I was joking. What? Your mom is that bad?" "Yeah." Shannon snapped at Janice and said,"Don't make her upset. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about her." "Did I ask about her mom?" "Kinda. You asked if her mom was that bad." Dina got up and said,"Look! I want you two just to shut up! Janice, quit being such a bitch to me, and Shannon quit trying to baby me! I hate insults, yet at the same time I hate this baby pity that you have for me. You know what? Everyone here has a crappy lifestyle! If they didn't, why are they screwed up and have to come here to live? So why baby me, when everyone else needs it more than me? I'm sick, I'll admit. My mom's a psycho and she deserves to stay here more than me, but do I complain constantly? No! I don't whine like a little girl. I do what I want to do, and I don't need your insults and pity." Dina walked away, and we finished our breakfast in silence. This is going to take forever.
People down every turn
Pain inside their hearts
A girl with scars on her wrists
A boy with a knife in his chest
She hides in the dark
Wondering when the pain with end
He stands up to fight in defense
Only to get knocked back down again
She fights with her parents
They don't wanna support the child
She's left to fend for herself in the cold
Alone with the child
Do we see what we are doing when we say the things we say?
Do we see who we are hurting with the actions that we're taking?
What we need
Are broken families reconciled
We need hearts to mend, scars to heal and battles to end
We. Need. Love
To stand up for the broken
We. Need. Hope
To give a hand to the hopeless
We need the world to care.
What are we doing with the words we are saying?
Who are we changing
And what effects are they having?
Lets be the change.
Pain inside their hearts
A girl with scars on her wrists
A boy with a knife in his chest
She hides in the dark
Wondering when the pain with end
He stands up to fight in defense
Only to get knocked back down again
She fights with her parents
They don't wanna support the child
She's left to fend for herself in the cold
Alone with the child
Do we see what we are doing when we say the things we say?
Do we see who we are hurting with the actions that we're taking?
What we need
Are broken families reconciled
We need hearts to mend, scars to heal and battles to end
We. Need. Love
To stand up for the broken
We. Need. Hope
To give a hand to the hopeless
We need the world to care.
What are we doing with the words we are saying?
Who are we changing
And what effects are they having?
Lets be the change.
When will this end?
Mass shootings
Terrorist attacks
Police brutality
They say it's just a gun control problem
They say it cannot be fixed
I say the problem is deeper
I say there is hope
When will this end?
Income inequality
Veterans living on the streets, penniless,
Dying by their own hands everyday.
They say this world can change for the better
But nothing has changed...
And I truly do fear
Nothing ever will
When will love start?
The day we offer a hand to the fallen
Instead of cringing back in shock
And running away
When will our world change?
The day we love too much to kill
The day others' pain is our pain
The day we act instead of just talking about it
"It's impossible"
"We're too broken to be mended"
"It's a hopeless battle"
I say, let us try.
Mass shootings
Terrorist attacks
Police brutality
They say it's just a gun control problem
They say it cannot be fixed
I say the problem is deeper
I say there is hope
When will this end?
Income inequality
Veterans living on the streets, penniless,
Dying by their own hands everyday.
They say this world can change for the better
But nothing has changed...
And I truly do fear
Nothing ever will
When will love start?
The day we offer a hand to the fallen
Instead of cringing back in shock
And running away
When will our world change?
The day we love too much to kill
The day others' pain is our pain
The day we act instead of just talking about it
"It's impossible"
"We're too broken to be mended"
"It's a hopeless battle"
I say, let us try.