This place is totally different from how Bea told me how is was. Freedom? I feel like a lab rat and everything is limited. They watch you do everything, and all the pills that they give you, you have to take them and they watch you take them.Yet, Janice doesn't take them. I've seen her little tricks, and I must say for myself that it's pretty brilliant how she does it. They watch her take them, but then after they leave, she takes them out of her mouth, puts them in her pockets, and then around nighttime or so, she'll trade with another girl for pills that Janice wants. This goes against everything that teachers and parents have taught me, but have I even gave a shit what they've taught me? Of course not! I'll be willing to do that. I mean, I'm pretty slick in a way. I've gotten away with some crazy antics before. Yet, Iah's always there to pull the collar of my shirt and tell me otherwise. Hell, he makes better parents than our actual ones. It's not about the discipline, but the care that he has for me. He actually cares, unlike Mom and Dad. Mom and Dad just yell at me, scream at me, suspect that I did something wrong, and Mom just cries about me and is scared and Dad always blames me for that. It's just a shameful and pathetic life that my parents live. At least I've lived before and now I've pretty much died. I mean, I have limited freedom, it's hard to rebel when they hold you down and put you in straight-jackets. I haven't been in one (just yet), but Janice gets into them A LOT!!! I mean, she's not really rude to me or anything, but I don't try to avoid her. Look, if she does nothing with me, then I don't mind her talking to me. People keep telling to avoid her, but they talk to her too. I don't understand that. I talk to her because she's someone to talk to. Yet that doesn't mean I automatically like her. I don't like the way she treats Dina. Like earlier today at breakfast, this is what happened:
I sat down at a table by myself, and Shannon, Dina, and Janice followed. We all had trays of food, except for Dina who just had a quart of white milk with a straw. We kinda just ate in silence, until Janice looked at Dina and said,"You know, cows shouldn't drink milk, unless they're babies.When a grown cow does that, it's stealing from your young." Dina ignored her, and Shannon got upset and said,"Shut up! Because of you, Dina gets sicker everyday. Just leave her alone. She never messes with you." Janice just giggled and kept eating. Dina looked over at Shannon and said,"I like it that you try to stand up for me, but she isn't making me sicker." "But she-" "Janice isn't the root of my problem. There is a creature on this Earth way worse than her." Janice giggled and joked,"Who? Your mom?" "Actually, yeah. How did you know that?" "I was joking. What? Your mom is that bad?" "Yeah." Shannon snapped at Janice and said,"Don't make her upset. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about her." "Did I ask about her mom?" "Kinda. You asked if her mom was that bad." Dina got up and said,"Look! I want you two just to shut up! Janice, quit being such a bitch to me, and Shannon quit trying to baby me! I hate insults, yet at the same time I hate this baby pity that you have for me. You know what? Everyone here has a crappy lifestyle! If they didn't, why are they screwed up and have to come here to live? So why baby me, when everyone else needs it more than me? I'm sick, I'll admit. My mom's a psycho and she deserves to stay here more than me, but do I complain constantly? No! I don't whine like a little girl. I do what I want to do, and I don't need your insults and pity." Dina walked away, and we finished our breakfast in silence. This is going to take forever.
I sat down at a table by myself, and Shannon, Dina, and Janice followed. We all had trays of food, except for Dina who just had a quart of white milk with a straw. We kinda just ate in silence, until Janice looked at Dina and said,"You know, cows shouldn't drink milk, unless they're babies.When a grown cow does that, it's stealing from your young." Dina ignored her, and Shannon got upset and said,"Shut up! Because of you, Dina gets sicker everyday. Just leave her alone. She never messes with you." Janice just giggled and kept eating. Dina looked over at Shannon and said,"I like it that you try to stand up for me, but she isn't making me sicker." "But she-" "Janice isn't the root of my problem. There is a creature on this Earth way worse than her." Janice giggled and joked,"Who? Your mom?" "Actually, yeah. How did you know that?" "I was joking. What? Your mom is that bad?" "Yeah." Shannon snapped at Janice and said,"Don't make her upset. Maybe she doesn't want to talk about her." "Did I ask about her mom?" "Kinda. You asked if her mom was that bad." Dina got up and said,"Look! I want you two just to shut up! Janice, quit being such a bitch to me, and Shannon quit trying to baby me! I hate insults, yet at the same time I hate this baby pity that you have for me. You know what? Everyone here has a crappy lifestyle! If they didn't, why are they screwed up and have to come here to live? So why baby me, when everyone else needs it more than me? I'm sick, I'll admit. My mom's a psycho and she deserves to stay here more than me, but do I complain constantly? No! I don't whine like a little girl. I do what I want to do, and I don't need your insults and pity." Dina walked away, and we finished our breakfast in silence. This is going to take forever.
I look at the old photographs. It kills me to see him smile. I've only heard about him. I hear he would have loved me. I hear he was nice. I hear that he was a good dad. I hear he was an okay husband. I hear that he would have made a good grandfather. It's not fair. It kills me when my dad talks about him. My dad said one of his last words to him were "Dont miss me when I'm gone." Those words run through my head. Day and night and keep me up thinking of him. Why did he have to go? I pray he's okay and fine in heaven. I pretend he's still here. If only he were ... I miss him....
I guess he's just....
Hard to Let Go
Dedicated to my grandfather I miss you ... even if I never met you =,[
Next journal entry coming up in few please
R&R
Thanks!!
I guess he's just....
Hard to Let Go
Dedicated to my grandfather I miss you ... even if I never met you =,[
Next journal entry coming up in few please
R&R
Thanks!!
Asperger's Syndrome is a mild form of autism with a bit of learning disability. It is the same as social anxiety. People with this kind have difficulty learning academics, socializing with other people, and forming friendships.
What does it feel like to have this? You'll be sensitive to loud sounds, lack of interest in to many things, difficulty understanding sarcasm and jokes, you'll feel lonely and alone, you see the world differently to other people, and the most overwhelming is you feel different in the world. It is also a lifelong condition and can't be cured. But help is a guide of their life. You will realize that those people have more intelligence and will grow up successfully in their life. And also they have a great heart of understanding on people's problems. They will also be kind and patient from what we are.
See the outside, and know deep the inside. There's no nothing than a reason behind.
It's better to be UNIQUE!
What does it feel like to have this? You'll be sensitive to loud sounds, lack of interest in to many things, difficulty understanding sarcasm and jokes, you'll feel lonely and alone, you see the world differently to other people, and the most overwhelming is you feel different in the world. It is also a lifelong condition and can't be cured. But help is a guide of their life. You will realize that those people have more intelligence and will grow up successfully in their life. And also they have a great heart of understanding on people's problems. They will also be kind and patient from what we are.
See the outside, and know deep the inside. There's no nothing than a reason behind.
It's better to be UNIQUE!
First off,harry potter has actual struggle and creative and developed villains while twilight centers around a girl who is completely dependent on a 2 hot guys who go to war for her and constantly abuse her.Second,harry potter has compelling storyline and fun unique characters while twilight is ALL STEREOTYPES, with the new hot shallow girl who runs a love triangle and the the two guys and their friends who fight over her.And lastly, for all you people who say that edward is hotter than harry, cedric is hotter than edward.look at all characters,not just the main ones.peace y'all
I come home and their fighting.
I hate it! I want to tell them to stop.
But I cant, because Im stuck in the middle.
They tug me, playing with me.
I cant handle the pain!
When I go to school no one can see my pain.
I fake my happiness.
I want to go hide in a corner and cry.
But I cant.
Because no one lends a shoulder to cry on.
My friends dont understand!
I come home again, and my parents pull me.
Ripping my heart like a angry raven.
My siblings, they... they... leave me there. Alone.
I feel alone.
Deserted.
No where I feel happy.
Because Im alone.
Why cant anyone see?
Why cant my parents stop fighting?
Why cant my friends lend a hand?
Why cant my siblings pull me to my feet?
Why am I alone?
I hate it! I want to tell them to stop.
But I cant, because Im stuck in the middle.
They tug me, playing with me.
I cant handle the pain!
When I go to school no one can see my pain.
I fake my happiness.
I want to go hide in a corner and cry.
But I cant.
Because no one lends a shoulder to cry on.
My friends dont understand!
I come home again, and my parents pull me.
Ripping my heart like a angry raven.
My siblings, they... they... leave me there. Alone.
I feel alone.
Deserted.
No where I feel happy.
Because Im alone.
Why cant anyone see?
Why cant my parents stop fighting?
Why cant my friends lend a hand?
Why cant my siblings pull me to my feet?
Why am I alone?
