I hesitated. It struck me that there really wasn't a polite way to turn him down. I had agreed to go with him, hadn't I? He was probably only asking me because he thought it was one of his duties as my escort. It shouldn't be a big deal, right?
"Won't your friend over there mind?" I asked, glancing at the blonde who was sipping her drink and eyeing Damon up.
"I've only just met her," Damon told me.
"She's pretty," I said in an off-hand way. I couldn't help thinking that Damon should be more interested in her than in me.
"She's a little too obvious for my taste." He glanced over at her and then at me.
"And what is your taste?" I said it without thinking.
Damon laughed softly, almost as if he were embarrassed. I felt my cheeks burning; I couldn't believe I'd just said that. I couldn't look at him so I stared at the couples revolving on the dance-floor, at the fountain by the doorway - anywhere except directly at him.
"Well, this is awkward." Damon had regained his composure. "Do you wanna go for a walk? It's hot in here - do you want some more water..."
"I'm OK," I interjected. "But that walk sounds good."
As we made our way across the room, I could feel Caroline and Bonnie staring at us even after we'd passed them. I could practically feel their disapproval burning into my back. I knew what they were thinking, but I didn't care. They'd never liked Damon. They didn't understand.
As we walked down the hall to the elevator I was acutely aware that the atmosphere had shifted between us. It occurred to me that I was going to be alone in the dark with Damon and began to wonder if that might be just as dangerous as slow-dancing with him. Maybe more.
It was cooler than I expected it to be by the river, and I shivered, rubbing my bare arms. Damon stopped walking for a minute to take his jacket off and drape it over my shoulders. I looked up at him in surprise. "Thanks."
From somewhere above us, I could hear music coming from the party: Plumb's 'Real Life Fairytale'. Listening to it made me think that maybe the song wasn't telling the complete story; that maybe love wasn't a fairytale. I thought of the way Damon had loved Katherine, and how I loved Damon - even though it was stupid, hopeless, irrational and a constant battle against my own heart. I thought of how I'd tried to do everything I could to keep myself from loving him but nothing had worked. From my experience, real love wasn't a fairytale, but people simply preferred to write songs and make movies about the unattainable kind to make us believe in it.
I guess it was thinking about all this that made me suddenly ask: "Damon? Do you still love Katherine?"
He raised his eyebrows. "Well that was a little random, don't you think?"
"I know it's none of my business..." I began clumsily.
"And not exactly wedding-appropriate," Damon added.
"...But I was thinking about what you said earlier and - I don't know. I just wondered, that's all."
"Does it matter if I do?" He looked at me like he couldn't figure me out.
"So you do still love her?"
"Did I say that?"
"Um, I don't know." (Did he?) "But it's obvious you don't want to answer the question, so...I'm gonna take it as a yes."
Damon sighed. "I don't see what the point is in dragging up the past. And if I did still love Katherine - and I stress 'if' - then how does it affect you? You've got Stefan. You don't care."
"That's not true." I stopped in my tracks to face him. "Look, I know how much she meant to you - "
"Unfortunately the feeling wasn't mutual," Damon muttered under his breath.
"I know you really loved her," I continued quietly. "But...after all these years, after everything she did to you, I think you deserve more than that, you know? You deserve to be with someone who loves you."
I paused to catch my breath and stood looking uncertainly up at him. I waited for him to speak but he didn't say anything. We just stood staring at each other, without moving or saying a word. At last, Damon took a tentative step towards me and gently cupped one side of my face with his hand, looking into my eyes as if he was trying to read some secret message hidden there. I think I've stopped breathing. I wanted to go ahead and kiss him, but I knew that the moment I did, everything would change. Everything. Once I'd kissed him, my whole world would change.
Suddenly, Damon tensed and pulled away from me, looking over my shoulder across the river.
"Damon? What - ?" I turned, half-expecting to see a group of kids from the party gaping at us or worse, Bonnie and Matt, but I couldn't see anything except the vague outline of trees and maybe bushes. Still Damon kept on staring intently into the darkness. What could he see to put him on alert? What was out there?
He put an arm round me and hugged me tight to his side protectively. "Come on, let's go inside. You must be getting cold." He steered me back the way we had come, but it seemed to me that he was walking faster than usual. Something was definitely wrong. I'd spent the entire evening worrying about what could happen between us, but I shouldn't have. There was something far more dangerous than being close to Damon to be afraid of.
Part 7 Coming Soon...
"Won't your friend over there mind?" I asked, glancing at the blonde who was sipping her drink and eyeing Damon up.
"I've only just met her," Damon told me.
"She's pretty," I said in an off-hand way. I couldn't help thinking that Damon should be more interested in her than in me.
"She's a little too obvious for my taste." He glanced over at her and then at me.
"And what is your taste?" I said it without thinking.
Damon laughed softly, almost as if he were embarrassed. I felt my cheeks burning; I couldn't believe I'd just said that. I couldn't look at him so I stared at the couples revolving on the dance-floor, at the fountain by the doorway - anywhere except directly at him.
"Well, this is awkward." Damon had regained his composure. "Do you wanna go for a walk? It's hot in here - do you want some more water..."
"I'm OK," I interjected. "But that walk sounds good."
As we made our way across the room, I could feel Caroline and Bonnie staring at us even after we'd passed them. I could practically feel their disapproval burning into my back. I knew what they were thinking, but I didn't care. They'd never liked Damon. They didn't understand.
As we walked down the hall to the elevator I was acutely aware that the atmosphere had shifted between us. It occurred to me that I was going to be alone in the dark with Damon and began to wonder if that might be just as dangerous as slow-dancing with him. Maybe more.
It was cooler than I expected it to be by the river, and I shivered, rubbing my bare arms. Damon stopped walking for a minute to take his jacket off and drape it over my shoulders. I looked up at him in surprise. "Thanks."
From somewhere above us, I could hear music coming from the party: Plumb's 'Real Life Fairytale'. Listening to it made me think that maybe the song wasn't telling the complete story; that maybe love wasn't a fairytale. I thought of the way Damon had loved Katherine, and how I loved Damon - even though it was stupid, hopeless, irrational and a constant battle against my own heart. I thought of how I'd tried to do everything I could to keep myself from loving him but nothing had worked. From my experience, real love wasn't a fairytale, but people simply preferred to write songs and make movies about the unattainable kind to make us believe in it.
I guess it was thinking about all this that made me suddenly ask: "Damon? Do you still love Katherine?"
He raised his eyebrows. "Well that was a little random, don't you think?"
"I know it's none of my business..." I began clumsily.
"And not exactly wedding-appropriate," Damon added.
"...But I was thinking about what you said earlier and - I don't know. I just wondered, that's all."
"Does it matter if I do?" He looked at me like he couldn't figure me out.
"So you do still love her?"
"Did I say that?"
"Um, I don't know." (Did he?) "But it's obvious you don't want to answer the question, so...I'm gonna take it as a yes."
Damon sighed. "I don't see what the point is in dragging up the past. And if I did still love Katherine - and I stress 'if' - then how does it affect you? You've got Stefan. You don't care."
"That's not true." I stopped in my tracks to face him. "Look, I know how much she meant to you - "
"Unfortunately the feeling wasn't mutual," Damon muttered under his breath.
"I know you really loved her," I continued quietly. "But...after all these years, after everything she did to you, I think you deserve more than that, you know? You deserve to be with someone who loves you."
I paused to catch my breath and stood looking uncertainly up at him. I waited for him to speak but he didn't say anything. We just stood staring at each other, without moving or saying a word. At last, Damon took a tentative step towards me and gently cupped one side of my face with his hand, looking into my eyes as if he was trying to read some secret message hidden there. I think I've stopped breathing. I wanted to go ahead and kiss him, but I knew that the moment I did, everything would change. Everything. Once I'd kissed him, my whole world would change.
Suddenly, Damon tensed and pulled away from me, looking over my shoulder across the river.
"Damon? What - ?" I turned, half-expecting to see a group of kids from the party gaping at us or worse, Bonnie and Matt, but I couldn't see anything except the vague outline of trees and maybe bushes. Still Damon kept on staring intently into the darkness. What could he see to put him on alert? What was out there?
He put an arm round me and hugged me tight to his side protectively. "Come on, let's go inside. You must be getting cold." He steered me back the way we had come, but it seemed to me that he was walking faster than usual. Something was definitely wrong. I'd spent the entire evening worrying about what could happen between us, but I shouldn't have. There was something far more dangerous than being close to Damon to be afraid of.
Part 7 Coming Soon...
