In the middle of the night,no no,at two A.M,I awoke to Courtney in my t-shirt(Oh yeah,) watching My Super Ex-Girlfriend starring Uma Thompson and Luke Wilson,her loud munching of the unfinshed cake and pie,and her even louder bawling."Baby what's the matter?"I asked sleepily."I'M THIS FAT AND I'M STILL EATING!!IT'S SO MNFDUIL BLDFB!"Her last words were muffled by the food."For the-"I pulled out a peice of paper from my pants and read it."For the....thirty-first time Courtney,you're not fat you're mildly-well,not so midly anymore,pregnant.If you were fat,you're face,hands,legs and feet would be too.But you're not fat,so be happy.""WHAT MAKES YOU SUCH A KNOW IT ALL?!!""I'm a doctor."I replied with confidence."GET OUT!And uh,get me two bags of the Doritos from a vending machine,two-"But we have Doritos in our mini-fridge!""I WANT THEM FROM THE VENDING MACHINE!They taste crisper.Now where was I?Oh yeah.Two Milky Way bars,I don't care where from,five bags of cheesy popcorn,the big bags from the Dollar Tree,where everything's a dollar.I'll also need eight large bags of marshmallows,eight bags of Hershey's chocolate bars,nine packages of graham crackers-""Let me guess,for smores?""DON'T INTERRUPT ME!!JUST SHUT UP!"Then she cried again."Baby I'm sorry I've just been so moojb bijbjbk-eeee....."She sobbed so hard her words became gibberish."Oh babe it's okay..."I comforted rubbing hr shoulder"I KNOW IT'S OKAY!JUST GO GET MY STUFF!"She yelled back.I turned to the door."Wait Duncan!"She said sweetly."What now?"I groaned inconsiderately.Courtney came up and kissed me."Love you.Be safe,please."I kisssed her back."I will.I love you too."I walked out(Without a shirt.Oops.) to see an angry "suite neighbor"Mr.Nichailo staring at me."Are you crazy?We are sick of all the noise!""Oh believe me,I am too."I replied.Mr.Nichailo looked confused."You'll have to forgive her.My wife is preganant.""Oh.Well you must really love her to stay and take care of her.I've known many men who've given up on their wives.I did to,and I lost the love of my life.I was lucky enough to win her back,but don't give up in the first place."I nodded my head,said; "Thank you!","Good night.",and then went to go get Courtney's things.I came back two hours later,and when I opened the door Courtney ran into my arms crying."I WAS SO WORRIED YOU WERE DEAD!IT WAS JUST KJ JDSJLAE KKKEEEEE!!"Courtney finsished in flawless gibberish."WERE YOU WITH ANOTHER WOMAN??DO I SMELL PERFUME?YOU WERE!YOU WENT OUT WTH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE YOU WERE UPSET THAT I TOLD YOU THAT THE CHILD ISN'T YOURS AND YOU WANTED REVENGE!OH I HATE YOU!"She ran,plopped on the bed and sobbed."Baby,I have perfume on because I bought you some."I said taking it ou of the bag.She was speechless.Courtney walked over to kiss me,but I said;"You know that you're the only woman for me.I love you so much."Then I kissed her."Now wanna watch a movie and eat more junk food with me?"She asked smiling brightly."Honey,if I have anymore of your food,I'M gonna get fat!And I need sleep."She giggled and pushed me on the bed."Then watch until you fall asleep!"She took the bag from my hands,and spread all of the contents on the bed,ripping open the packages.Then she turned on the movie she was previously watching to watch with me.Yep,good vacation. PART EIGHTEEN IS COMING OUT SOON!IT'S GONNA GET SO AWESOME I'M NOT EVEN JOKING DUDES!SEEYA NEXT TIME! By:Lydia Anderson